sorry to have to be the one to tell you this jammie man, but Pillars of Salt aren't made of real salt anymore. they're made of a silicon based substance... kinda like the same stuff that props up Pamela Andersons career (oops, i mean boobs).


Jon Krakauer is a writer/mountain climber.

Wrong! Joe Krakauer is the man of my wet dream!

The poster below me is always the man/woman

nope sometimes I'm BOTH





everthing is coming to an end

everything is going to an end...


snow falls down...

snow actually flutters down, sometimes blowing sideways with the wind.

blue and yellow make green.

OshnSoul, my little yam, blue and yellow are the colors for the marquee of the Sun Oil Company...green is, like, so kermit...


rock and roll is...

"Rock and Roll" is really just a derivative of southern blues, which in turn is derivative of slave spirtuals.

Furthermore, what is described as "rock and roll" today covers so many categories of music as to truly have no defining characteristic.

Ergo, Rock and roll isn't.



If I fall off a very high cliff onto a pile of jagged rocks I will likely hurt myself very badly.

you are wrong... you will obviously die

E = mc^2 :rolleyes:

These guys can explain how E=mc2 is wrong better than I



If nobody waters the plant in my office, it will die.

no it won't... it will turn brown

nobody has PROOVEN E = mc^2 wrong yet.... (observed sure.. but not prooven) :rolleyes:

You are WRONG.

Since "proove" is not a word, it is nonsensical to suggest that nobody has done it.



My feet stink

oh, balderdash!!! it's not your feet, it's your socks...


a pair of gloves has 8 fingers and 2 thumbs...

wrongo there phil my man..........not this pair

http://www.rubberrobot.com/rubberrobot/condoms.jpg




there are twelve wobbly pops in a case.

Wrong. Every case you've delivered in the past has had one missing.....I wonder why?

Coors lite is shitty beer.

Wrong. i have never had nor heard tale of a can of coors lite containing fecal matter. [thank gawds]

Bears do shit in the forest.

More precisely, bears shit on the forest floor.

Neil Armstrong walked on the moon

How about Neil Armstrong bounced on the moon.

The Fab Five are gay and famous.

Don't think so, they play(ed) basketball @ the University of Michigan: Chris Webber, Jimmy King, Jalen Rose, Juwan Howard and Ray Jackson. (Well, maybe famous) Not gay.

Vegans think they have it all figured out.

nonononono...vegans have it all SORTED out...


michigan lost the title game with those five guys that sandman said...

wrong, 4 of them had nothing to do with it...Chris Webber lost it himself.


My stapler is jammed...

No, your stapler is demonstrating an undocumented feature.

My cat's breath smells like catfood

oh, bourgeois...your cat's breath smells like dead mice!

well smack my ass and call me sally, i didn't leave an undeniable truth...ok, here goes...


g-dub's dad's second name is herbert...

Dream on Sally, it's 'haitch'.


I can give a mod a large helping of barefaced cheek and get away with it. See how I do that?

(/me snickers moderately gleefully...) we'll see about that...


major league baseball bats are made of wood...

Ha!! That is untrue, they are made of a steroid based compressed pulp resin!(or maybe that's Barry Bonds?)

No English word rhymes with orange.

(BULLSHIT BUZZER SOUNDS)...the abbreviation of "sporadic sponge" is spor'onge, pronounced "sporange..."


the titanic hit an iceburg and sunk...

sorry phil..............WRONGO..........


that bitch Celine's song cracked the hull....(damn.....she's freakin' Canadian too)..........(bitch)


[ala' song]....the skin at the end of my dink is pink and.........

when it gets hard it's blue...

....i looooooove yoooouuuu.[ala' song]

Flyman, you're way off base:

You never loved me. Ever.


Japanese cars all have english names.

nonononononono...japanese cars all have american names...


mares eat oats and does eat oats and little lambs eat ivies...

You know, many people grow up believing this to be true but sadly it is another dirty, filthy lie we tell our children. Mares and does both despise oats and prefer a high glutten diet. And ivy is very hard on the delicate gastro-intestinal system of the little lamb, who does in fact love oats.


Hawaii was not one of the 13 original colonies that came to form the United States.

hawaii was there WAAAAAY before the colonies were even dreamed of...


a kid'll eat ivy too...

WRONG!!! If kids have a hard time eating their spinach, what makes you think they will eat ivy?

I'd rather have this bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy.

not when the bottle is empty, you wouldn't...


on the whole, w. c. fields would rather be in philadelphia...

Wrong. WC Fields is dead and wants for nothing.


Hank Aaron holds the record for the most homeruns all-time in major league baseball.

Wrong, I saw a pic of him, he doesn't carry it around..

music is melodious

There was nothing melodious about the sweet music i made with that stranger in the men's bathroom at loring park last week.


besides, wherever you are, there you are.

No your dogs name is little misty boo

my cats name is pickles

your cats name isnt pickles, its stupid.

i am a virgin.

...and the pope bows to mecca five times a day...


little miss muffett sat on her tuffett...