sorry phil...Niagara sucks

I am a rowan tree

Sorry splck, Fremen was first. And dynamite in a handbag is not that bad. It can be rather handy.


My dog needs a bath.

You are wrong, your standards are vacuous and baseless. I reject them utterly and therefore your dog does not need a bath.

The jelly fish in Grancey's avatar is upside down.

You are wrong. The jellyfish is upside up, but the avatar itself is upside down.

The opposite of correct is incorrect.

COA, after all these years, you still haven't got a clue...the opposite of correct is just plain WRONG...


Arthur Miller died last night...

Arthur Miller can never die, only salesmen.

Beer is food.

Beer is considered an Alcoholic Beverage, which makes it a beverage not food.

There isn't anything that can be considered normal.

What the hell are you talking about? The fact that I like to take out a huge chuck of earwax outta my dog's ear and rub it over my nipple is considered to be normal...

Putting tooth in a can of cola will eventually use up all of the cola and evolve into a small advanced civilization of mushroom people

That's just wrong! Everyone knows that the Crest Police would stop any such growth before it would happen... Cre-est! Cre-est! Cre-est! Down with tooth decay.

In 1755, Captain Nezvert's crew mutinied when he forced them to pick their noses and eat it to ward off scurvy.

That's wrong!! They had been doing it in secret the whole trip (they knew the scurvy remedies). Their noses had already been picked clean. They mutinied when Captain Nezvert ordered everyone with a clean nose shot.

Neil Armstrong was the first human to walk on the moon.

Wrong! Neil Armstrong isn't human...

My flask is made of pewter.

No, no Charlatan, you are mistaken....no pewter, you have a powder flask.

Paul McCartney likes to wear red shirts.

Silly everyone knows that Paul died during the early seventies... "He blew his mind out in a car"


The next person writing is going to contradict this statement.

no shit...

meanwhile, back at the ranch, the lone ranger, not recognizing tonto in his disguise as a pool table, racked his balls...

Thats crap (it really is).

Plus.....the Lone Ranger racks his balls against Silver not Tonto, on those cold desert nights.

next: Uncle Phil clogged up the thread with that bogus posting above.

if he hadn't posted, you wouldn't have had that nifty statement to use.

Putting the basement on jaxx makes changing the sewage pipes easier.

That's a load or crap. You'd have to spend more money in lifting the basement than it would have cost to fix the sewage pipes.

Whale tastes better when served with soufflé.

Whoa, this is an oldie.

Dear Ch'i, I do so hate to correct you on your previous statement, "BUT YOU ARE WRONG!"

Whale is not served with souffle, but within souffle. You are so gauche.:rolleyes:

Yeah, its old, but I like where its going.

Elphaba, in what universe do you think we occupy? You are wrong in a way that causes me physical pain.

Whale, served inside a souffle? :lol: That would dilute the flavor.

Kicking a shin can shape up a bad day.

No, no, no... NO!!!! Didn't you get the fucking memo? Aim higher!!

You really should keep your nails trimmed if you are going to insert them into another person's body cavity.

Obviously your statement is terribly inaccurate and reflects a pathetic lack of imagination concerning cavities and fingernails. It's still the missionary position for you, isn't it?

Rose hips and blue balls linked together make a lovely Christmas garland.

Hip & balls, regardless of the color or fragrance, are just inappropriate Christmas decorations for households with young children. Martha Stewart shudders as she prepares carmel popcorn balls for Halloween guests.

Next week is a new year. Yeah baby! Party on the patio!!!

Um...some people will use any excuse to party...even if they have to make up one. Sorry hon, but unless you work for the government next week is not the new year. ;)

Although most people believe that wet hair in cold weather can make you sick, they are poorly mistaken...you are more likely to get cancer from the hair dryer.

Hair dryer causing cancer? If I had a dime for every time I've heard this, I would take those dimes, glue them together, and use it as weapon to beat down anyone who thinks this statement comes anywhere near a coherent argument.

Eclosion is in the eye of the beholder.

So wrong once again. Eclosion only occurs in the eye of one with extremely poor hygene.

The Bill of Wright's is long overdue and I am thinking legal action is necessary.

Didn't you hear, torture is now legal and we're living evermore closely to a dictatorship.

I have tickets to see Alice Cooper Sun. 10/8 7th row. :thumbsup:

Which only proves your retrograde obsession with 70's era musica imposters! (I have an AC vinyl; he is too cool) :)

Paul Simon is the poet of my generation. Too sad for the rest of y'all to have nothing to compare to my muse. (Oh lordy, this will provoke a major "wrong".)

Au contraire mes amie, Ray Davies and John Lennon were the poets of your generation. And this generations well....... you may have a point there isn't really one.

Alice Cooper inspired Shania Twain, hence her look.

au contraire, mon frere, shania twain looks nothing like alice cooper...i mean, like, nothing...

captain spaulding was THE african explorer...

Explorer? I think not! Captain spaulding was nothing but a schnorrer.

He who smelt it, dealt it.

Not really, I have a clogged nose so I just smile and wait till others smell it and die.

The Great Kamaluana once stated "nothing is as pure as the love between a boy and his pet rattlesnake, except throwing virgins into the volcano."

I'm disappointed in you pan. Scientology teaches us that it is thetans that must be thrown into volcanoes.

Two wrongs don't make a right, unless those wrongs are pistachios.

Pistachios are ALWAYS wrong...any nut that needs to be dyed red is just WRONG!!

Bananas are the perfect food.

Everyone has different tastes, therefore bananas cannot be the perfect food.

I am watching you.

Ah, the overconfident prey.

You cannot see, because your thoughts were beset by their own foundation.

Sight is a biological function, thoughts are not, therefore thoughts would not interfere with sight. The truth yes, but not what I see.

Orange juice is tasty, therefore red juice should be good as well.

not on this planet; orange = sweet and tasty, red = cranberry and tart (ugh!)

in the game of golf, trees are 90% air...

Have you completely lost your mind?! A recent study showed that 50% of air was composed of tress.

If you say a word over and over long enough, it will lose all meaning.

wrong,wrong,rong,rong,right,right,right.


clamato juice is better than tomato juice.

flyman, you be a wildman...EVERYBODY knows that tomato juice is better than a drink with a clam in it...

cleanliness is next to godliness...