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how new can you be? you already have 9 posts...


golf is a four-letter word...

last i remember....."whack-fuck" had 9 letters.


things go better with butter.

silly boy, things go better with...

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v1...ephil/coke.jpg

"I am the God of Hellfire and I bring you Fire..."

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v1...ephil/fire.jpg

youre real name is clearly uncle phil, therefore you cannot be the god of hellfire.


I am lying.

Z...what are you...wild? you be truthin' all the way to the bank...

key west is only 90 miles from cuba...

"Only"? Try telling a snail that it is "only" 90 miles to that nice head of lettuce... 90 miles is a hell of a long way.

I am going to run some errands now

Balderdash!!! everyone knows errands can't even be walked, let alone be run...

barbra striesand was the first performer to sing "people..."

Simply by calling her a performer, you call into question anything else you claim in that post of yours. Clearly, that makes you wrong.

Charles Nelson Reilly was the backbone of Match Game.

right, and gene rayburn was chopped liver...


old mother hubbard reached in her cupboard...

ahhhh bullshit phil.

she took a hatchet out to the back forty and had a go at one of the cattle to get her damn dog that bone you know.



by the way........old mother hubbards cupboards where green,not bare.



:D

Yeah, about as green as Enron's energy policies. Nice try, fly, but WRONG!


The capital of Morocco is Rabat.

silly boy, there are those spirits out there who would argue that fez is the capital of morocco...

flypaper is loaded with sticky stuff...

soooooo wrong phil..........flypaper is loaded with flies..........


the sticky stuff that 'ol phil was talkin' about,is made from horses.


*man if the wife ever heard me say that,i'd be shot*

....and???

and what????


the sticky stuff on flypaper is from horses........

The sticky stuff on flypaper is from horses? Wishful thinking, but wrong. Everyone knows that sticky stuff comes from A.D.D catagorized Fiordland crested penguins.

There's no sound in space.

Sure, Ch'i. If you say it enough times, I'm sure it'll be true, but everyone who's seen Star Wars knows there is plenty of sound in space. You are wrong yet again.


Love is like oxygen; if you get too much you get too high, not enough and you're gonna die.

Pffft. Methanogens live without oxygen, and you don't see them complaining.

Matter cannot be created or destroyed because there are never enough chips to do it.

Ummm, there are plenty of chips to do it, it's just that they're being hoarded by chipmunks. I'm sure you were unaware of this, so I can forgive such a mistake.


Rock Hudson was a ladies' man.

sorry dooblajay..........he was into the dudes eh.........


iron maiden takes metal top honours.......

Cat Stevens was more metal than Iron Maiden.

Yes, its a banana in my pocket, but I *am* happy to see you.

Whoa, you can see me, like,my body? You obviously can't be in the matrix, and posting, and out of the matrix looking at my actual body...

Life is grand.

Wrong, life sucks and the sooner you realize that the sooner you can enjoy life for what it really is.

It's cool to be in pajamas at 3:00 in the afternoon.

au contraire, ma soeur, not down here in florida...


each thanksgiving turkey has two drumsticks...

Au contraire, mon capitan! I've seen, and enjoyed, my fair share of three+ legged turkeys.

The best part of waking up is Foldiers in your cup.

Ch'i, I'm growing quite fond of being your foil.

Everyone who is anyone knows that the best part of waking up is going back to sleep when you realize you've woken up 2 hours early.


A prime number is a number which is divisible only by itself and one.

Excellent. I was in dire need of something to keep my food warm.


Quit descriminating against prime numbers. You conveniently left out their right to choose, and should be ashamed of yourself.

When caught on fire, you should stop, drop and roll.

Is that what you do when you've caught on fire? Poor you -- you're sadly misguided on this one. Why, up here in the north, when someone catches on fire, we all gather around him in a circle, toast marshmallows, and sing haunting folksongs until just his embers are left.

A peanut butter and tomato sandwich is way better than a peanut butter and jam sandwich.

THAT'S JUST WRONG! Tomato and peanut butter is not just a disgusting mix, but a volitile one. Think about the children Plumcake, the children.

His holiness the 14th Dali Lama can fly.

Wrong, he just is "falling... with style."

Lyle Lovitt is one goofy-looking muthafukka, but he sure can sing.

but kramer was indeed goofier, no?


hydrogen is the lightest element...

wrong, magnesium can give off greater luminosity than hydrogen.

Green tea is the best form of tea.

Ewww -- how can you even say that without gagging? Green tea is just tea with algae growing in it. Green tea is about as great as taking lawn mower clippings and steeping them in warm tap water. Green tea is a science experiment gone wrong. Why, up here in the north, the only good use we've found for it is to freeze it, cut it into blocks, and pave the roads with frozen green tea blocks.

Rush Limbaugh has a brain and he knows how to use it.

I think you meant to say "Rush Limbaugh has a brane." Either way, you were completely and utterly WRONG.

People around the country, from coast to coast, always want to know what you like most. I don't want to brag, I don't want to boast, so I always tell them "I like toast."

You are wrong in so very many ways, it just makes me sad. Terribly terribly sad. I hate to break it to you, but people around the country don't give a whit, not even one of the smallest whits, what you or I like the most. People around the country want to tell us what THEY like the most. It's a national pastime. Oh, and by the way, boasting about toast is wrong too. French toast maybe. No one boasts about toast, unless Wrong is his middle name.

Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.

Not if you bring a flashlight

My cat's breath smells like cat food.

You are hallucinating; thus you are wrong and besides, you really shouldn't get that close to a cat's mouth (although there is still doubt that you actually have a cat, since you offer no incontrovertible truth to prove same -- hence, you are wrong again), unless your cat has something quite sensitive and secret to whisper to you.

All humans are mortal.

No Sir, No Ma'am! You are obviously forgetting Hulk Hogan, as he is introduced as "The Immortal Hulk Hogan."

Rubber bands are stretchy.

No, no. Rubberbands are stretchy not rubber bands. They just play really mind bending music.

Everyone deserves a Christmas present even if they were shitheads all year.