JJ doesn't have a refresh button.........


...and he owns 478 pairs of horn rimmed glasses

This is a fact that flyman knows well, as he has spent many, many hours in JJ's drawers.

Paddyjoe is actually the illegitimate son of Kim Jong Il and Eva Gabor.

*presses refresh button

Tophat once wrote a letter to Penthouse forum about a sexual encounter he had witnessed between a Hungarian actress and a Korean despot. Penthouse rejected the letter since said encounter resulted in the birth of an illegitimate child.

see that guy in your tree in the backyard wacking off? that's JumpinJesus

To slake his passionate wookie lust, AntoineMartinez once violated an Ewok, after first offering it candy and inviting it up to his treehouse to see his erotic etchings.

Tophat665 brews his own beer...

his secret method for success involves chanting, a special rare herb, pacing counter-clockwise, wearing a peculiar hat & otherwise being stark naked on his garage rooftop every full moon.

bern is a roadie for the band......"the smokin' roaches".....she sets up the drums and does soundcheck for the drummer cuz he sucks.



oh yeah......and she likes to steal the bands pot too......cuz thier too stoned to realize that she pulls off the five finger discount on every tour.



*da da na daaaaa.......the crazy broad strike again*

Flyman was a squirrel in his past life, and has much as he hates his past, he can't kill it, or it'll wipe out all the weed in the world.

amonkie is a quiet monk in a nondisclosed mountaineous area somewhere on the lower left half of this planet. he knits tiny purple hats for coach roaches every evening as he whistles the theme to underdog over & over & over....


*licks the sticky stuff off her fingers* mmmmm...

bernadette wears a locket with a key inside. The key unlocks a box in which is kept the shrunken head of Ivan the Terrible. No one knows bernadette has this heirloom.

Once a month, during the waxing crescent moon, bernadette unlocks the box, rubs the shrunken Ivan melon, and laughs nefariously. She has no real reason for doing this, but she does it nonetheless.

JJ steals the garters from unsuspecting brides while the grooms are distracted, and uses them to secure little kittens to a pegboard just so he can poke them in their tummies to produce a yowl.
Each kitty produces a different pitch so that when he pokes them he can play his favorite song, "On Top of Old Smokey". :D


(btw, bernie, amonkie is a female) ;)

Fremen is a Kitten Salesman.

That's actually Fremen's picture in his Avatar

What Top fails to mention is he's my doppelgänger, and he likes to skip dobster's posts on odd numbered days. :eek:

Well I'LL cover it then! (cuh!) :rolleyes:

Dobster collects other peoples used napkins.

Right. Carry on.

Well I'LL cover it then! (cuh!) :rolleyes:

Dobster collects other peoples' used napkins.

Right. Carry on. ;)

Dobster sees the world in double vision.

aammoonnkkiiee ccrriieess wwhheenn tthhee dduuddee''ss rruugg ggeettss ppiisseedd oonn iinn TThhee BBiigg LLeebboowwsskkii..

dobster hears strange voices coming from his toilet.
They tell him to stick his head in the bowl and flush repeatedly.
He didn't fall for that trick more than three times, I can tell you. :thumbsup:

Fremen has one of those bicycles that looks like a motorcycle. He has placed the Queen of Hearts amongst the spokes of both front and rear wheels. Whenever he rides up next to a Harley at a stop sign, he nods slowly and knowingly at the biker.
He also backs his bicycle up to the curb in front of pubs and bars.

shrooms.............toooooo many shrooms....

JJ is like,soooo out there..........


JJ went to school on the little bus..........and sat at the back with his trouble making buddies..........

flyman knows this because he was one of the leaping lord's little buddies - the one who licked the window at passing truckers, in fact.

Top had to go to the dr. for the malady of "orange dink syndrome".....


the dr. asked him about his diet,and Top told him he watches pornos and eats cheesies every night.


problems anyone??????????

fly did a porno one time just because he heard they were paying in cheesies.
fly lovessss him some cheesies. Just ask Top.


;)

Fremen not only directed said video, he was the co-star.
Fremen lovessss him some pornos!

...said jonsgirl as she sat down with fre and critiqued it...

Unclephil claims he was in Florida for 2 weeks, when I happen to know he was out scouting locations and soliciting 'talent' for the Porn production company he runs with Fremen and Fly (who each have final say on the talent Phil finds)

BAM! 3fer!

ngDawg knows this because UnclePhil turned down his application to be "talent"

top has yet to look up ng's skirt...

said the guy who still wears mirrors on his shoes.......



sad phil....just sad eh.

What's really sad is our cross dressing friend flyman getting his kicks by looking up his own skirt.



Ahh too bad, not much to see there, eh old chum.

see joe's avatar..........that bastard skwerl is gonna end up on his bbq......cuz he likes to eat them with lemons and spices........


*freak*

fly doesn't really mind the 'ckn skwerlz in his yard 'cause he uses them in these XXX "nature" films he makes, starring all the little forest critters from around his cabin.

fre is slowly buying up my designer collection of sleeper jammies on amazon...

Uncle Phil tastes like a salty peanut.

there was once an occasion when our beloved Giant HAMburger tasted strangely of Beef... but that was because he had recently devoured every single cow in India. the Indians were far from impressed.

bundy knew, because he was the taste-tester...

I heard that this thread slacked off because Phil caught Mad Cow Disease from dining over at Bundy's. Eating blackmarket Indian Bovine is bad karma.

pigglet actually eats his own kind..........just cuz of the uproar of the Mad Cow Disease that bundy,and phil caught at Fremen's diner,where GH was lickin' the salt off of all the pean......i mean patrons......


*that's a four way whammie man.............*

The fly always enjoys a good 4-way. Lessee, it's fly, his 2 hands and his 2 feet.


Limber freak!!!

hehehehe....5-way!

pj has five thumbs...

Uncle Phil and Aunt Martha were never actually married.

lefty's jealous...

uncle phil makes his grilled cheese sandwiches with the cheese on the outside.

Ellen DeGeneres learned how to dance from paddyjoes "Learn to Dance at Home in 10 seconds or Less!!" instructional DVD.

A lesser known fact is that if you click on paddyjoe's thumbs on the main menu, a secret bonus feature can be viewed. It shows paddyjoe in a squirrel costume dancing with a giant acorn to Joe Dolce's "Shaddup You Face"

Unfortunately, when JumpinJesus used pj's dvd to learn the Lambada-the Forbidden Dance, the police arrested him for lewd & lascivious acts with his neighbor's pecan tree.

Get a room, dude. :D

Fremen, I have never yet thanked you for bailing me out on that one. I owe you!

And also, The bark on my walnut tree has finally grown back so you can come back whenever you like.

Um, have I said too much? :D

JumpinJesus doesn't jump at all. And I have it on good authourity that he isn't jesus, either. :lol:

Jonsgirl picks through chex mix and only eats the pretzels. (She also shot a man in cold blood just to watch him die, but that's not important right now.)

lefty's never been to reno...

Uncle Phil hates cars and loves to walk everywhere... though he does post pictures of himself standing next to his neighbour's cars to hide this fact.

Ummmmmmmmmm....................

No.

Pinkie is named after the digit that slipped....and caused an interesting form of sexual game to become popular. Thus becoming very popular at parties.

tecoyah likes to eat Alpha Bits cereal. He forms naughty words in his spoon, says the word out loud, giggles, then eats the word.

"Poop. Hehehehehehehehehe."

He doesn't know that his activities are being recorded by Homeland Security.

JumpinJesus intercepts the recordings so he can get him a copy to post on http://www.AlphaBitsComputerCodingForBeginners.com
He and his colleagues secretly rule the World with their coded cereal creations.

I'm your buddy, right? ......Ri..ght?

Fremen is once again attempting to sabotage my plans, but that's okay.

We're onto him, too. Only he doesn't know it.

Wait......



*slaps forehead*

JumpinJesus is actually a Puerto Rican sky diver.

lefty is so fat it affects his self esteem

Sierrajunkie is so stupid that he didn't realize lefty04's dark secret is that he is actually a righty.

let's keep in mind that this is not a flame-throwing thread...there is a difference...

uncle phil always saves his flame throwing for when he sits on the john


(frickin jalapenos)

Gah! I was skipped, now I may never know my darkest secret.

*Shakes fist at uncle phil*

no one in this thread is "stupid..." or "fat..."

Has a Surname of McCracken.

Grumbling*Girl takes out skaterpunks with a ball bat while driving to the beach on weekends.

Fremen is still trying to pass the last runner in the boston marathon

AntoineMartinez last clipped his toenails during the Clinton administration. (The first one.)

lefty keeps those clippings in a jar inside his medicine cabinet and sometimes uses them for satanic purposes in the middle of the night...

uncle phil is really an aunt

tony martin really IS a rookie...

uncle phil is in reality a norwegian midget named Schroeder. He had surgery as an infant to extend his hight , but, alas his parents ran out of money after just one leg. He has been labeled a womanizer in guatemala because of an incident involving a Nun named Gartemella, and only flavors his food with Lowrys seasoning Salt.

phils Sisters best friend once ate a hard boiled egg....with a spoon, on a boat in some guy named Pedro's back yard.

tecoyah is down to only 17 pills per day. His doctor took him off the little green diamond shaped one, but unfortunately, it was the one he needed most.

joe eats skwerlz...........fuck if I know WHY anyone would want to eat a skwerl when there is perfectly fine beef,chicken,pork and fish out there.

...oh yeah.........splck makes one damn fine deer steak too...........


joe wishes he could come eat a real deer steak,instead of a skwerl steak.........


*you're lucky bud.......i could keep goin' here eh?*

On a good day, flyman only eats three kittens, kills five panda bears, burns 100 thousand acres of rainforests and destroy only one nuclear power plant. That is of coarse if he is feeling good. On a bad day... well I don't wanna get into it.

i can see the kittens,bears and power plant....but,......

i'd never hurt the rainforest.......plants eh :thumbsup:


BlitzkriegKommt was hittin' the wobbly pops the night he came up w/ his screen name.

see......he was actually pukeing his brains out and could hardly focus on the screen so......the name he was hopeing for was BlitzkreigVommit.

at this moment..he's in deep denial.

fly likes to suck the coating off of peanut M&Ms, and then he stuffs the nuts into his nutsack, which he keeps in his drawers. :p ;)



/mind.....meet gutter.......gutter.....mind

Fremen sneaks into flyman's drawers, grabs his nutsacks, and feed his nuts to unclephil's squirrels.

He does this with a rather large grin on his face.

JJ stole my skwerls from the flyman...

uncle phil likes my nuts.


yup folks.....it's that easy.

fly has "pipe dreams..." (if ya know what i mean...)

Uncle phil is actually an old aunt living in Moskow right now. Previously a Russian prostitute, she is now assembling a plan to brainwash and conquer the world after which, the act of eating babies would be legal.
P.S. She like eating kittens too.
I found all this in her livejournal.

BlitzkriegKommt is the reborn Hitler, and he enjoys pineapples being shoved up his <insert random term here>

Dirty is so drugged up on aerosol spray cans that he can't be expected to finish off his sentence, neither can he sustain his insatiable craving of imagining things going up people's butt, especially hitler's. :)

BK is actually italian, not german...

uncle phil is truly now an Italian history buff, because he last ate at the Olive Garden.

paddyjoe had a very brief, torrid affair with Florence Henderson just 2 years ago after they met at a Wesson reunion convention. No word yet on why they split up, although paddy was heard to say, "She looks so much younger on 'The Brady Bunch' ".

Jumping Jesus takes Cialis 3 times a day hoping for that 4 hour erection to happen....he's just not sure what to do with it should it materialize.....

ngdawg was a roadie for Ozzy on the last Ozzfest tour. Ozzy kicked her off the tour because she was constantly blaring Korean lullabies at incredible volume during the middle of the night.

JJ was a roadie for ABBA...

Uncle Phil likes to touch himself while looking at squirrels that he dresses in dominatrix outfits.

bendsley used to be the butler on "The Brady Bunch"...........until Alice came along that is.

fly shaves his ass and pencils in the hair when he posts pictures of it...

Let's just say that uncle phil is known among his friends by the nickname "Bic".

I have it from good authorities that JumpinJesus is actually responsible for all the public toilet writings around the world.

BlitzkriegKommt pays people to find out who is tagging up all the public restrooms.

CityOfAngels has the ability to 'pop on command'.

"toonces the driving cat" taught monkey how to drive...

uncle phil isnt really your uncle.