Sadly, Jonsgirl didn't have many friends when she was little... Her only friend's were her toes (which she gave names to). After long walks she would be wracked with guilt thinking she'd been walking on their faces all day... Even sadder... when her husband took to kissing her toes, she got jealous and stopped talking to them despite their begging her forgiveness...

the C-man contributed four names for those toes...

uncle phil is a woman?????

jstory brings homeless people home so he can use them as airfreshener in his house...

Charlatan hides his vestigial gills by turning his shirt collars up.

GH uses the eyes in the back of his head to look down my grandmother's blouse.

Jonsgirl wishes she had breasts to make hamburgers use the eyes in the back of their heads...

(maybe that secret isn't too deep and dark)

Charlatan is a chronic bed-wetter. Only, it's not his bed.......

Jonsgirl pays me to pee in her bed because she likes it...

the c-man has a urine fixation...(we'll presume that it's a secret)

uncle phil can't keep secrets...

Charlatan's secret is he likes to piss into coke bottles and throw them at the monkeys in the zoo in retaliation for a swing-by feces flinging he had there as a child with them.

Freman's secret is that he likes to drink what he finds in coke bottles at monkey cages.

Astrocloud was one of the monkeys that threw the feces at Charlatan...hence the "Dark Banana"

not.......very......well......hung........

It's true...I have no penis. But Flyman's out of weed!!!!!!!!

Manuel doesn't know fly very well...........


*never go short in the land of plenty baby*

flyman keeps a collection of his scabs in a box in the cupboard... he keeps hoping that one day he can exhibit them at the National Gallery...

Charlatan contributes almost daily to the scab box. Most have come from poo infested sores that never seem to go away.

Jonsgirl has been dipping into the box for years and can't figure out why the bacon bits don't taste like bacon...

Charlatan likes it when it snows. He digs snow tunnels all over the neighborhood and then pops up naked yelling 'Happy Groundhog's day!! See my little goundhog's shadow?"

Unfortunately for him, no one ever has.......

jonsgirl likes to make it snow at Narita airport so that people formerly of tropical countries moving to Japan get a nice taste of the freezing cold. thanks babe.

bundy forgot to pack his sleeper jammies...

Uncle Phil is wearing Bundy's sleeper jammies...

Charlatan paid uncle phil to send bundy a big box of sleeper jammies so bundy could distribute them to his new students.
What bundy doesn't know is that Charlatan put a picture of his "extra-large" Canadian phallus in each jammie package at phil's urging.

Fremen still hasn't read Dune...

(but has watched the movie... well actually only the parts of it with Sting in leather undies...)

Charlie here......loves to "prance" around,watching Sting in Dune,wearing only leather panties and a garter belt.

flyman lives out his secret life on TFP... in real life he is an accountant with a small real estate firm in downtown Chicago... He lives by himself in a small apartment with his cat, Winky and his collection of antique tie clips. He doesn't drink or do drugs because of his allergies...

damn, charlie...you hit the nail right on the "head" (get it...head?)

even if that is your dream occupation...

Due to his ambushing escapades, uncle p pissed off so many Girl Scouts on last year's cookie drive, they have sworn out a 'contract' on any balding, sleeper jammie-wearing, Corvette-driving, cookie-hoarding men in the North-Eastern U.S.
uncle phil is thinking about moving to Texas.



;)

Fremen, angry over the treatment received by a balding, sleeper jammie-wearing, corvette-driving, cookie-hoarding man in the northeastern U.S., has put out a contract on anyone fitting that description.

He's on the lookout for anyone fitting that description in Texas, and his medal-strewn sash has been replaced by an ammo belt.

JumpinJesus wants to keep Christmas from coming... but how?

Charlatan buys Pillsbury chocolate/chocolate chip Cookiedough, removes it from it's packaging, sticks it between his butcheeks and gets a rise out of going to a public place with it there. Once there you will see him dipping deep into his pants (as if scratching himself) pulling out a fingerful of the chunky brown stuff -and eating it.

Meanwhile japanese tourists snap photos and take videos of the incident.

Charlatan is really quite popular on Japanese "reality" television.

Astrocloud is Charlatan

mojodragon is still a rookie :(

mojodragon is not really a dragon. He is, instead, a small, timid lizard that can be found living off of discarded chocolate/ chocolate chip cookie dough at the the bottom of people's closets.

Jonsgirl isn't addicted to pot or cigarettes, as her avatar suggests. She's addicted to discarded chocolate/ chocolate chip cookie dough at the the bottom of people's closets

mojodragon is attracted to john edwards hair-do and he secretly has a little mermaid collection



and he's a rookie!

Aquafox has a John Edwards hair-do, and got me started on my little mermaid collection by giving me my very first Arial blow-up doll <blush>

Mojodragon's not a rookie anymore!

mojodragon pretends he doesn't know there is a edit button to add more comments in cause he's post-whoring, lol



lol, mojodragon likes hanging upside down while on the computer

Aquafox watches Walker, Texas Ranger, and likes it. :D

ICER has a big pickup just like Walker Texas Ranger, but he's too afraid to let it out of the driveway, in case a rock drops from the sky.

amonkie is afraid of things falling from the sky



she once witnessed a tricycle being hit by a falling mooose when she was little

she also thinks walker texas ranger is cute

AquaFox attends goes to clubs on the weekend where everyone dresses up like characters from Walker Texas Ranger... Sadly AquaFox doesn't even like Walker Texas Ranger he just needs friends.

Charlie needs friends............he's so lonely!

...now that's just being mean...


flyman actually *can* fly... but sadly he is afraid of heights so he chooses not to.

Charlatan is really a cartoon character in disguise. And lives in constant fear of the Dip.

ICER makes fun of other cartoon charaters cause they're all much cooler than he is.

jonsgirl only has 33 days to cure her addiction for Iraqi men!

Charlie digs "reach arounds"...............if you ask him nice....he just might oblidge.

flyman gives classes on the perfect "reach around" technique.
For only 39.99 you, too, can learn to love the lovebone!!

jonsgirl still eats her peas with a knife when she thinks noone is looking...

uncle phil still drinks pee when he thinks noone is looking...

Charlatan dances to Ricky Martin's "Livin' La Vida Loca" and when he is done he masturbates dreaming that Ricky will fuck him in the ass.

woah!!!!!..........drakers has an obsession with dudes getting it in the backside.

*turns,faces drakers....and slowly shuffles backwards*

Flyman had no idea Phil was right behind him as he shuffled................until it was too late

Which was too bad for tecoyah, because he wanted some of that sweet sweet fly ass, too. But not sloppy seconds.

when Fremen gets lonely on friday nights, he spends the entering random words into google with charlatan

AquaFox is denial of being a KODT fan.

ICER wonders why he has to douche so much (shrugs) :thumbsup:

bendsley wonders why he has to pick up all my douche bags. ;)

ICER frequents massage parlors hoping to score a foot massage.
They turn him down because of excessive toe-jam build-up.

fre once got a foot-massages through the "feet" of his sleeper jammies...the pair i gave him for making me that MM avatar...

I've no complaints about the sleeper jammies phil sent me, it's the box they were sent in that's the problem.
phil, next time you go find cow patties for your basement museum collection, don't reuse the box for your business. *phew!*

fremen's jammies have betty boop all over them

Shani digs tight hugs and shotguns..........you go girl!!!!!!


and i bet she's all for reach arounds too.........

flyman is hinting that he's really into Shani.

...which is strange considering his love of lovebones.....and reach arounds.

jonsgirl is just jealous (but she should relax... there is enough flyman for everyone...)

Charlatan keeps a harem of pleasure slaves locked in his basement.

Ok, so that's not really a secret. I only mention it because flyman is his favorite "friend" and I'm suprised that he's willing to share him.

Charlie wants fly.............


*wierdo*



edit.........jonsgirl is into quickies.........

Which is good cause that's all that flyman can provide

Which is also good because that's all jonsgirl really wants...

...and Charlatan is still listening to Ricky Martin, while watching jonsgirl getting it on...

while drakers runs the cam...

Uncle phil is really Punxsutawney Phil in disguise.

Icer is the guy whose job it is to prod Phil out of the hole forcing him to look for his shadow... He doesn't use his hand or feet though...

Charlatan had a panic room built into his abode. While panic rooms are typically used by paranoid types, Charlatan has found a better use. It's where he can don a purple, ruffly tutu and practice his fancy tip-toe dancing - all in his special powdered wig, of course.

JumpinJesus has all of The Wiggles songs, inculdeing the top ten hits.

ICER is a member of The Wiggles...

Charlatan is one of the Teletubbies (the purple one I think)

ICER is sooooo jealous of all the attention being given to Spongebob.........................

paddy just wishes some one would give him some attention

Jg used to have an attention span...

....until uncle phil stole it from her and sold it to a sexy Norwegian exchange student he has stashed away in his guest house.

fryman has a fetish for green eyes, he searchs for them on google image search

AquaFox has been into something a bit stronger than water. ;)

Fremen makes his own moonshine using only Nyquil and the tears from orphaned kittens.

Jg drinks that moon..with a smile on her face...

uncle phil sells his artwork on the streets. They're actually quite good finger paintings of landscapes and portraits. The secret?

He doesn't paint with his fingers.

JJ happily donates the use of his lovebone to uncle phil for use in his paintings in return for 5% of all profits and one egg salad sandwhich per week..

Jonsgirl eats children.

Mer chews coal...

Uncle Phil is a Marilyn Monroe impersonator, only he isn't very good at it... His crowning acheivement was singing Happy Birthday Mr. President to the president of the local Rotary Club (by popular demand he's booked at the Oddfellows next week!).

Charlatan has every episode of Tellitubbies memorizes, and had decoded the language in a sad attempt to ask Tinkie Winkie out on a date.

tinkie winkie puts out...

tecoyah is known in his neighbourhood as that odd guy who picks his nose (even though he doesn't)

Char wrote what he thought was the Great Amercan novel last year, but whilst trying to download the latest Britney Spears ringtones, a virus crashed his computer before he could edit it all together.

Fremen is so poor , he cant even afford a real Avatar.....had to rent mine, and went behind on payments

Ol' tecoyah personally confided that he really wouldn't recognize a good avatar, even if it jumped up on his lap and kissed him.

tecoyah is such a bad landlord he wouldn't even fix the busted pipes in my rented avatar and it caused severe floor damage.
I had to pay the plumber out of my own pockets, which made me short on the rent.
tecoyah said he would pay when his check came in, then the bastage shut my power off!

edit:
paddyjoe doesn't want for valentines this year.
The inmates at the State mental instution got his address off of the internets and picked him out of thousands to fixate on. :thumbsup: