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ScottKuma purchased several Jim Neighbors albums at a yard sale, and could be heard muttering, "oh the sweetness, Jimmy, you're all mine..." as he meandered away like a rabies stricken mongrel.
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Poppinjay muff dives, but only while fully clothed, including wearing a bellaclava
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Daoust enjoys riding public transit and clipping his toenails...
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Charlatan runs a chigger farm in upper Brattleboro, VT.
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ScottKuma has a pet puma named "Fritzie." He secretly lets Fritzie out at night to feed on the pets of neighbors that annoy him.
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SirLance has trouble with doing things in order...
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Charlatan got his name by betraying Jesus' brother John by claiming his karate was no good.
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poppinjay teaches second grade...
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uncle phil never graduated from grade two.
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Charlatan got phil in serious trouble in the 2nd grade by substituting phil's No. 2 pencil with a No. 3.
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Fremen is actually Mr. Frodo of the nine fingers.
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Poppinjay still infuses phrases like "fo' shizzle, dizzle" and "homey don't play dat" into regular everyday conversations with his parents.
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Doust has the world's largest collection of used toilet paper.
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SirLance surfs the internets for pictures of pee drinkers.
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Poppinjay is a pee drinker, though he doesn't have any pictures on the Internet... yet.
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charlie has to spend the rest of his life being...charlie...
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As sad as that is, unclephil wishes he could do the same.
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Charlatan made his bundle selling bottled cat piss as rogaine.
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Toppy had a head of hair as fine as any,
'til one day he decided to visit Papua, New Guinea. :D http://www.papuanewguinea.net/JPEG/0302ThreeWigmen.jpg |
Fremen is actually one of those guys in the picture, except really he's white. He just uses a lot of face paint.
Fremen desperately wants to fit in. |
Daoust is God's macaw.
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Quote:
Poppinjay is a founding member thereof.... :hmm: The fourth Icy Hot Stunta, the Pete Best of blessedly obscure white rap, if you will. |
Tophat accidentally made a type-o when registering for the TFP:
He wanted to be called "Too phat", spelled like the cool kids do it. Instead, people refer to him as the Top-hat, like the traditional english headdress, and he is too shy to point out that he just wanted to fit in with the cool kids. He is often heard muttering to himself "At least I think I am PHAT..." |
BigBen likes to wear women's frilly udergraments beneath his combat fatigues...
To be honest, they don't do anything for him, he just wants to fit in with the rest of his regiment. |
Charlatan kidnapped the lost colony.
They made a whittle-o when they craved "Croatan" into the tree. |
Poppin-fresh recently saw a bigfoot in the woods.
He tried to follow it but he slipped in some bear shit and was humiliated when the Pope started laughing at him. |
Nice try HERE but you know we don't believe you right?
Your secret is out, my friend. Embrace the error of your ways. :icare: |
Charlie's obssession with my reading habits has taken up all of his frequent flyer miles, trying to prove his ultimate theory as correct.
Einstein didn't give up, Charlie. Are you? :p |
HEY! THEY ARE NOT FRILLY UNDERGARMENTS!
They are polypropylene thermal underwear. They just happen to be unisex in nature, of the fitted boxer brief type. No front door access, that's all! Now when I am off duty, that is another affair. Victoria's Secret all the way, baby... Oh, and Fremen once composed a beautiful sonata for the harmonica, and dedicated it to all those around the world with the disease that has plagued him since birth..... NotCool-itis. |
Ben is addicted to colored fonts. He downloads them constantly, and has recently had his security clearance reduced because of his fontitis. His computer has 2,349,097,842,365 fonts, and growing.
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In times of yore, Sir Lance bravely rode away away....
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Sir Lance is colour-blind, like his trusted (and only) companion Golden Retriever he calls Ranger. "Ranger" actually never made it through Ranger School, but tells all of the other dogs that he is qualified.
By the way, using this coloured font, Sir Lance cannot see this post. |
Ranger was only disqualified because of her gender. She was able to complete all the drills and meet all the other qualifications.
When he doesn't want to be noticed, Ben places his victoria's secret undergarments over his head. He believes that if he can't see you, you can't see him. And, besides, it feels good. |
Sirlance spends he Wednesday nights out in the desert screaming for all who can hear, "I AM THE KWIZACH HADERACH!!!"
(sadly Fremen will never get this joke) |
Charlie has bought every item Joan Rivers has ever sold on The Shopping Channel, including his vast collection of Cubic Zirconia.
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big ben quit looking at TSC after they sold the last clock...
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phil gargles his B&C...........
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UnclePhil has every album put out by Jim Neighbours...
Last year Phil travelled across the country to meet Neighbours at a seminar call, "Gawly, You Can be a Man Too". None of this is really a secret... the real secret is that Phil was disappointed when Neighbours didn't make a pass at him (he wore his lucky underware and everything...). EDIT: Flyman bogarts his joints... |
Charlie is a tad bit slow............
*must've rode the little bus with joe eh?* |
*bastard*
:lol: |
*cha-ching my friend*
weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee |
dead meat...dead fuckin' meat...
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After years of riding the little bus with Charlatan, Flyman saved up enough money to buy it, and now he drives it to work every day. Charlatan's big secret is that after fly has sorted out his nails so that they point the right way for the side of the house he's working on, Charlatan sends a squad of attack squirrels that swoop in and mix them all up again.
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Topha bought his own little bus, souped it up, chopped and dropped it, then went looking for young punks to dragrace on Friday nights.
http://www.strangevehicles.com/image...ent/102684.jpg |
The funny thing is, I beat Fremen every race. All I had to do was open the door, the lights would come on, and he'd stop and look for children crossing while I sped away.....
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Charlatan still has some refried beans on his chin, from 4 weeks ago.
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Daoust is about 6 posts out to lunch.
he likes them california rolls eh. |
flyman loves his horse... No. He really loves his horse.
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Charlatan is Flyman's horse.
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Giddyup!
Poppinjay loves to read Agatha Christie novels, but not for the mystery. He just likes to fantasize about Miss Marple. |
Charlatan is like a rhinestone cowboy, riding out on a horse in a star spangled rodeo, gettin' cards and letter from people he don't even know....
And offers comin' over the phone. |
Poppinjay has a pet worm named "Simon". He likes to take simon for long walks -- er, drags ---
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SirLance drinks wormjuice every evening to get that pale mucus-like sheen to his hair he treasures so well.
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fre...get outta town, man...
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As they drove through town, uncle phil had a kind of "red rum" chill go through his spine. The same kind when he read high school lit shit like, "and then I smiled to myself!" Who the fuck smiles to himself? Gaybons, that's who!
Then he picked his nose. And that, my friend, is his deep, dark secret. |
poppinjay wishes he could be more like Glen Campbell.
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flyman sees floating pink sleeper jammies whenever he combines wobbly pops with his favorite drink...........milk!
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Fremen enjoys cavorting in tropical storms... but only if he can wear his fur coat.
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Charlatan dreams of one day putting together a Vespa Scooter Polo league.
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Top drinks Coors Lite.
*i bet that hurts eh?* |
Flyman drinks Coors Lite too.
*ouch* |
splck is co-dependentwith Flyman
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Charlie just don't know.
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Quote:
when's the last fucking time you've seen a Coor's Light here man? |
flyman drank all the CL evidence before asking that last question of splck.
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Fremen, is in fact, pissed on Coors Lite....right now.
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splck pissed <i>in</i> coors light. His day job is to top off each can.
(Damn you, Flyman! That's just mean!) :D |
Tophat's day job is to piss in wine coolers.
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Johnny Pyro really wonders how useless these such threads are and is perpetually thinking about how long this one will last (and why it's lasted this long so far).
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shazbotus likes to rub Almaden Golden chablis into his nipples. He says it makes him feel like a young girl in the south of France.
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Tophat recently became a young girl in the south of France... OK, honestly? He just stopped bathing and started singing Frere Jacques a lot... but it works for him.
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Charlatan likes to stand to the lee side of young girls in France. It gives him a certain air.
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the air around kramus is a tad bit unpleasant.
he just farted. |
fly can smell kramus's odeur from BC, because he has what they in the "Business" call a "Nose".
He usually uses his nose for sussing out quality (Coors) alcoholic beverages, but he's been known to go on a fart smelling spree every other full moon. |
Fremen wishes that flyman could smell his farts... he spends a lot of time trying to customize the smell.
His favourite scent accomplished so far is Tootie Fruitie |
Charlatan has won prizes for his dutch-oven skills. He has a particular flair with a blanket.
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Tophat hatched a plan to steal every beer in fly's fridge, but that was thrown out when he remembered who he was dealing with.
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Fremen, when he first saw the pictures of the Six Million Dollar man in his avatar thought, "wow, he's covered in iPods."
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Charlatan gets drunk and sings Roger Miller tunes.
<I>Trailer for sale or rent.... Rooms to let, fifty cents.... |
Poppinjay has the entire Slim Whitman collection on 8-Track. He keeps it next to his prized Boxcar Willie tunes.
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I like to listen to Willie while I play my Odyssey2.
SirLance cheated Idi Amin in a poker game. He got to eat a peasant's foot. |
Quote:
Poppinjay is tilted :rolleyes: |
//l-dizzle// pays for his porn.
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fremen has a season's pass...
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uncle phil used to coach a women's basketball team until he was caught making sexual advances to their newest basketball.
/Wilson was pissed off |
Fremen was seen wandering the street during Rita wearing water wings and crying out, "Surfs up!"
Fremen's neighbours really hate him. |
Charlatan only pretends to be a Canadian, and for good reason. He is actually a Texan.
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Elphaba likes the musical "Wicked." That's no secret, but what most don't know is that she has a shrine in her basement accessible by moving the hands of a granfather clock to the correct position. At this shrine are several of the original cast members that she kidnapped at wandpoint.
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Aberkok worked on the Bush campaign. He was hoping to be made director of FEMA, but they appointed him ambassador to Burbank, instead.
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SirLance had a job at NBC Studios in Burbank, but was fired when 'Stuttering' John Melendez found him rooting through his shirt drawer.
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Fremen feels this terrible compulsion to do the "comb-over" when he sees the bare behinds of little wooly sheep. Literally, with a curry-comb and spray hold.
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Our good friend, Kramus, first rose to fame as the-kid-in-the-Carnation-advert.
http://img380.imageshack.us/img380/9...natkram7hr.jpg |
jwoody takes coals to Newscastle.
And wonders why everybody looks at him funny. |
Poppinjay was severely burned by the delicious fruit filling of a breakfast toaster treat. He accidentally rubbed the hot pastry against his genitals, and is now suing the manufacturer for not making the warning label big enough.
Even the horrible and disfiguring genital scarring has not stopped his compulsive habit. His lawyer doubts he will win at trial if Poppinjay's actions are admitted as evidence. Seriously man, take whatever settlement you can get... |
BigBen is an ambulance chasing lawyer... He actually just sent Poppinjay a bill for the advice in the previous post.
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Charlie is a consultant. He borrows your watch to tell you what time it is, keeps the watch, then bills you...
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SirLance is a middle manager. He designs systems to implement new paradigms for distribution in to the ether, while on the john.
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Poppinjay fires his homemade potato-launcher from ambush at the choo-choo trains in his neighborhood model railroad club.
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Fremen wants to be a Mountie.
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Doust wants to play horsey.
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