mml has actually never read those amendments.

Peetster's secret to being such an outstanding Naval Aviator? He had to be. He can't swim.

Bill will vote Kerry! Because Howard Stern says so.....

the big one tapes howard stern so he can go to sleep by the soothing mellifluousness of howard's voice...

We all know that Uncle Phil isn't anyones uncle.He got that name when he was 13 from his street gang pals after *offing* someones Uncle Phil over a Thirty-two dollar debt,and fo talkin' sheit bout his mama...

Six once worked as a barker in a circus. A sex slave circus.

She never once peeked, but can swear with the best of them.

Peetster wears 3 blue sparkly hairbows in his hair to work everyday,and swears to his co-workers that he is prescribed to do so by his family doctor.Why peet?,Why?

:meow:

six did jumpingjacks and fell through the floor into a pool of raging emus, and she killed every one of them by hand

Im bad like that.

Kurtisj is Richard Simmons BIGGEST fan.

Six was once a follower of the Dr. Rev. Moon. She didn't care for Kool-Aid like the other Moonies, and quit the cult just in the nick of time.

Peetster can't win a game of bridge without cheating.

Six can't pass a bridge without cheating the tollbooth operator.

Shame shame, we know your name. :D

Freman likes apples. apples that are just about rotten.

rugger likes to coat his nostrils, liberally, with a coat of Vick's Mentholatum at the beginning of every day. He claims that the increased oxygen flow gives his brain extra boost, the cloying smell is an aphrodesiac for women who like men who smoke menthol smokes, and that his snot glows in the dark.

pigglet secretly has a crush on Roo and wants to bugger the little bugger while wearing lederhosen.

Sion wears THE pants.


My pants,and I lub him fer it. <3

Six wants to learn my cheating bridge ways so she can cheat with me.

It's all about eye contact, dear.

Yea? well...Peetster recycles. :X

Six makes lists of the things she can't buy when she goes grocery shopping. The list consists of a single item : Bridgeford Beef Jerky. She'll eat the whole package before she's through checkout, and have ten more in her array of items.

*gasp* Pigglet follows Sixed around and shares her secrets with tfp . :(

I am a jerky addict,and I hate it.I need help man....

SixEdxMia is (not so) secretly in love with me. But I dont mind, because I find it flattering.

You are wrong. She is in love with me. Get over it. ;)

Peetster is in a dillusional state, Having lucid daydreams of imaginary lovers. Fortunately, Sion having been trained in psychiatry by the Isreali military, is secretly manipulating his brain thru word play in an attempt to bring some level of reality into play.
Meanwhile, back at the ranch, Six and I play poker in the pantry.

Tecoyah is trapped in a VR lab deep in the Isreali desert, being manipulated by the Isreali Secret Military Police. He is being fed by tubes in his arm. It's all very matrix-like.

Peetster is wearing my dirty pajamas from yesterday,and the day before.

Shhhh!! pigglet.

Six keeps a high-powered flashlight, painted to match the Scooby-Doo Mystery Van, next to her bed which she uses to send messages in Morse code to her three trained tanukis, which live in a small wooded enclave outside her window in the backyard. She uses them to steal packets of beef jerky from the 7-11, and to relay messages to her cadre of lovers. Frustratingly, her little badger-like friends will not respond to verbal stimuli - only the flashlight and pheremones.

the pigster thinks he's always a step ahead of me but he's really a step behind me...

Phil's real name is Guido. He works for the mob. He came to the Godfather, in his house, on the day his daughter was to be married and asked him to do murder, for money.

Well hey, that's better than what Peetster did. He came on the Godfather, in his house, on the day of his daughter's wedding. After Sonny suffered from ye olde coitus interruptus, Peetster slipped in to play clean up. Unfortunately, The Don poked his head in at the wrong the time...watch out for the horse head my friend, watch out...

Pigglet was Ron Jeremy's personal "fluffer" early in his career.

Hey, what do you mean was?

Six has a little dotted line tattooed around her right middle finger. She calls the outer portion of the extremity her " 'lil Jerry Bear." When she picks her nose with 'lil Jerry, the nasal detritus is always tie-dyed.

Um,eew. Girls don't pick their noses,specially not me(leave Jerry fucking out of this).

Pigglet's wife has six kids,none of which are pigglets.

That's not what Jerry-Bear says. He appears in my dreams - when not crooning whaling songs, he speaks of the forays into the Himalayan sinus caverns, which he finds mildly scattered with bits of jerky....

Six followed me to the fringes of Madagascar, where she donned a robe and cowl and served as midwife to my concubine, who was incredibly bountious in her childbirth - sextuplets, could you believe? Six tried to have me tied to a stake until I negotiated life-long alimony and child support, but I bribed the town elders with a glazed donut, and a bottle of anything. To go.

the pigglet has never been to Spain...

Hrmph. Spain he says. Uncle Phil is personally responsible for dozens upon dozens of "nieces" and "nephews" accross Europe and Central Asia.

Bill O'Rights is the only person left alive in this country that knows that The real Bill O'Rights was originaly written on several cocktail napkins after a wild night of jello shots.

Six is the only person in this country (Besides Bill) who knows that "My Life" by Bill Clinton was originally written on several (thousand) cocktail napkins(and one blue dress) after a wild night of jello shots.

mml stained the blue dress about 45 minutes after Bill.

pete smoked the cigar...

...while uncle phil watched.

Bill secretly wishes Alyson Hannigan would dye her hair black...

Charlatan has a foot fetish. :hmm: :p

Six is secretly a billionare spends money like crazy. In fact he just bought her a new pony. A pinto in fact. Its cute, and its name is spot.

Rugger needs to see his physician about upping his daily lithium dosage. 50 mg twice a day isn't really taking the edge off. He also needs to stop tounging the pills and feeding them to Spot. He's going to damage the young horse's fragile eggshell mind.

Peetster saw Spot in the desert - it changed his life.

Pinto's :love:

Pigglet has dressed/lived as a man for 13 years.

six is a mustard seed farmer

Kurtisj works as a waitress full time for much less than minimum wage.

six gave birth to a 8 pound steak....the afterbirth....was fried onions

Kurtisj bought the meat and onions from me for three dollars.

six puts on a white tie and tails, and walks her cobra through the park. she named the cobra beverly. she tought it how to fetch, and how to dial a phone. one day, the snake bit the maid...so with tears in her eyes, she shot the maid.

kurtisj has a pet gerbil named "Frank". He dresses the gerbil in a ballerina outfit and takes it grocery shopping for yogurt.

He talks to Frank constantly. Adults with small children cross the street to avoid making eye contact.

Not so deep and not so dark a secret... ;)




When Peetster signed up at the TFP he had initially intended to be the Peester (reflecting his interest in golden showers)... but typos will be typos...


(I hear Hal can change your user name if you ask him nicely) :icare:

Charlatan has a foot fetish...

but only if they are removed precisely at the ankle.

Peetster just can't stop potato printing.

castex rarely uses tp...

And uncle phil knows that because since he lost that "really good job" at Enron, he's had to take in other peoples laundry.

Bill O'Rights is Unlce Phil's new companys personal stain specialist.

six masturbates to the teletubbies

kurtisj killed wolf-man jack with a trident

kurtisj plays the harp at school plays.

kurtisj sees double, and posts likewise...

and, the big 1 plays the glockenspiel at school plays...

uncle phil got confused when he went out for lawn equipment purchases.

theone showers in grain alcohol, and used his thigh as an anvil

kurtisj eats, and enjoys, his boogers.

peet bathes in vodka, and feeds his children shrimp skampi

kurtisj is obsessed with water sports this evening.

iamtheone can't stand these sexual window shoppers, just dabbling in pastimes to which he's made a lifelong commitment.

castex pees in his neighbours garden just to watch the plants die...

Charlatan once posed nude for a navy recruitement poster, it was unfortunately, never used. You can however see the origional hanging in the mess hall of the uss constitution.

Tecoyah was the recruiting officer that selected Charlatan for the poster. He was demoted for poor judgement and sent to Guam to be in charge of recreational services.

Peetster is in love with me,and I am in love with him,but I question what his plans are for me and all of those marshmallows. :hmm:

You love the marshmallows, in fact thats the only part of the whole deal you are comfortable with. Peetster loves you but only for spot, your adorable pinto (who is now addicted to Lithium, my bad)

Ruggerp11 only loves me for my money.

Six loves everyone for their money. Or maybe she just loves their doggy style? :D

Averett,You are broke and I was hot for your sock. : X
*ahem* Their peetster style,mind you.....

Averett has a pet donkey that she purchased on a recent trip to Mexico,she swears they are only "friends".

Six wants to introduce the donkey to spot, the lithium addicted Pinto, and hopes for a family of work animals that she can feed marshmallows.

Peetster gets me drunk and tries to touch my"special" places.I dont mind,but dont tell him that,I'm diggin the free booze.

Six is in secret negotiations for the production rights, of her life story as an ABC Afterschool Special.

Bill O' wants the lead role.

Peetster likes to watch the Lifetime Channel, because...how did he put it...."Sometimes you just need a good cry".

Bill O' doesn't watch the Lifetime Channel for the crying, he watches for a sudden nipple slip.

sad...sad...sad

Freman gets his hot nipple action by watching National Geographic reruns of "Heart of Africa".

Peetster just never has been able to understand the plight of those that cannot afford cable.

pete hides his old national geographics behind the toilet...

It took uncle phil months to find 'em. But damned if he didn't do it!

National Geographic is doing a story on homeless drug addicted animals and Bill is going to be the photographer. The thing is that he is only doing it because he wants to see six. Peetster is going to kick his ass, and the pinto will run free!

ruggerp11 is on the waiting list for a sexchange operation in Denmark.

wonderwench has passport in hand, tickets to Stockholm, and has been practicing with pliers and scalpel.

Rugger, you consistently make me laugh. Just wanted to say that.
--------------------------------------------------------

tecoyah tried to issue the passport, but the Department of Homeland Security intervened and charged him with leading a lithium smuggling ring. The ASPCA is now involved, and homes and hearts are being broken.

But...what tecoyah doesn't know is that it was actually Peetster, acting under his authority as an agent of the Department of Homeland Security, while posing as an administrator for some internet forum or another, that set up the entire sting operation.

Taking advantage of rugger's financial woes, wonderwrench's avid desire to remove testicles, Bill O' slipped Peetster a $100 bucks and a certified guarrantee that he's not, in fact a lima bean, in return for the assurance that rugger will end up looking like Miss Hannigan and be delivered to his doorstep, hog-tied.

pigglet wears a purple pair of butt floss underwear,under his kilt.


(t-bars,g-strings..... you know)

Flyman was clearly experimenting with various intoxicants when he posted that. Perhaps he should stop using the medical advice given by a Pinto named Spot that is hooked on lithium and loves marshmallows.

fuckin eh Peet...........still laughing.



Peetster thinks that all those big white rolls of hay in the farmers fields,actually are marshmellows.

a bit big,but he don't care

Flyman is still laughing because he is in the manic phase of his manic depression. Once the lithium arrives from the newly opened "Spot Pharmaceutical" The laughing should subside and devolve into a drool.

Ruggerp's girlfriend suggested a "roll in the hay", prompting Ruggerp to purchase large bags of marshmallows and affix them to his naked body with superglue. He last saw her burning rubber on his driveway, which saddened him since he remembered his large National Georraphic collection in the trunk.

pete used to shine his service oxfords with a brick and a hershey bar...

uncle phil drives an ice-cream truck covered in human skulls