Medusa is the shy gorgon.

The bad news is that Ch'i's plastic surgery to become the new Bruce Lee was not entirely successful.

The good news is that he still has a career opportunity as the new Phyllis Diller.

Elphaba goes to buffets but doesn't stay behind the sneeze guard! In fact she sprinkles dried feces over the food with her feces shalt shaker she made at home (and then eats the food).

Zeraph has an unseemly appetite for after-dinner-mints.

Ch'i drags his feet on the carpet then does the ol' "hang out with your wang out" bit, near his doorknob.

Fremen took my water.

Hmmm...that must've been the water that broke, during Ch'i's 15th tri-mester.

hey pj, wipe that pizza stain out of your beard yet? it's only been, what, two years now?

Uncle Phil cut himself with a katana as an infant and has had a sword/samurai/ninja-phobia ever since.

777 originally registered as LLL, but changes his username while trying to set the international record for a headstand.

When SL heard the saying "you are what you eat" he ate a calculator because he thought it would help him on math tests.

Zeraph is Novak's third informant. :eek:

Chi once covered himself in cheddar cheese and ran around town naked trying to catch bees to start his own hive to get enough honey to make a cask of mead!

The lovely Lady Sage knows all of Shirley Temple's tap routines. She hopes to join the broadway version of "Tap."

Elphaba once argued with Richard Simmons. No one's seen him since.

Ch'i went into surgery under a blackmarket doctor because he wanted a gun for a hand, unfortunetly the doctor didnt speak english very well and thought he said he wanted an egg beater for a hand. Now he spends his time drawing evil looking mustaches on eggs and foiling their plans.

Zeraph farts in the shower...

uncle phil double dips.

Uncle Phil believes that different pipes go to different places, and will never pee in the shower.

This is a good thing...trust me. :)

Uncle Phil is the expert on good things.

this is true...

true, also...

the elph still ties her mittens together and runs the string through the sleeves...

Uncle Phil has to sit down to pee due to an accident involving a chain and a dog that really had to go potty... bad.

Pan's adoration of Lady Sage is partly due to the lack of dogs on chains.

At least he doesnt sniff my butt :lol:

Elph is the record holder for pushing a pencil the farthest and fastest with her nose!

So YOU say....

LS is the inventor of the halu hoop. Unfortunately, the hula hoop is the one that caught on. If only she'd rearranged those two letters!

SL can't read! He has a helper monkey typing for him!

At last! Revenge for the feces salt shaker comment.

Hmmm, actually I can't think of a way to top that one and it looks like Zeraph has already been turned into a toad. Crud.

Sorry Elph, my fault... runaway toad spell... he took my parking place!

Elph had two addictions in her younger days... She could be seen dancing on both American Bandstand AND Solid Gold on a regular basis!

Lady Sage will be the host of Fox's new tribal series: "So You Think You Can Rain Dance?"

Chi is still angry that I got the spot on "So You Think You Can Rain Dance" and he is now stuck with "So You Want To Be A Cyborg".

Lady Sage turns up the music and uses the duster as a microphone while she cleans in her fuzzy pink bunny slippers.

They are fluffy tan kitty slippers but the rest is true and I dance while I do it too!

Shesus called off work today just to play with us on TFP!

So it's true that it was Lady Sage on that silly commercial. I would have wanted to keep that a deep, dark secret too.

Alas, I was turned down for that commercial. I do keep the dream alive though by practicing for next time.

Elph once auditioned for the part of Dorothy!

I played her slutty like she actually was. Those three weirdos she hung out with were friends "with benefits."

Only Lady Sage knows what role Toto played among that foursome.

Yes *sniff* its a terrible memory... I was the make-up artist you see and I went to do the Wicked Witch of the Easts make-up right before they dropped a house on her (Elph was never the same) and I saw Dorothy with a jar of peanut butter and that poor dog..... *shudder*

Elph rides a broom now but back in her teen years (before she got her broom permit) she rode an old mop.

LS pickles food...in her toilet.

Z likes to shine flash lights into peoples eyes.....

Flyman doesn't really smoke pot, in fact he has never had an alcoholic drink, looked at porn or even smoked a cigarette, he is in fact a Pat Robertson nephew, trying to live on the wild side in cyberland.

Pan doesn't even know one title to a John Lennon song!

streak_56 Thinks ACDC is an auxiliary input on the back of his television.

Streak has every album in the boston pops collection.

edit... too late...

Ch'i goes over to Streak's house daily and lovingly cleans every record in Streak's Boston Pops collection.

Sir Lance is really short for Sir Lancelot... He couldnt take the Lancelot title because he lost a jousting tourney once and decided on Lance to remind him of his shortcoming. He is however preparing a comeback in the future... as soon as they allow Jousting in the olympics!

LS reads dr. seuss in church...

UP formed his own religion in which communion consists of green eggs and ham. Cat in the Hat is his bible...

In which SL is the primary enforcer. He calls himself Warlord of Green but so far has only managed to bully several cats and a gopher into following their doctrine.

Zeraph winks at elderly women.

Ch'i presently works videotaping people swimming with Dolphins.

Of course he is the only one who ever swims with the naked Larry Csonka and Bob Griese, so needless to say he has a hard time paying his bills.

Pan once wanted to be a pornography film director.

Which LS knows because she is a porno director and Pan had come to her for advice.

not only does Z wink at elderly women, he snatches their purses when they try, feebly, to wink back...

Unc Phil once did time for purse snatching.... it was a sad time in his life and he is since reformed. He collects purses off eBay now. :lol:

Lady Sage sells knock-off purses on eBay as the real thing, and then laughs maniacally while packing them to send to her unsuspecting customers...namely uncle phil.

Medusa is solely responsible for the worldwide plague of Viagra spam.

MixedMedia has been in agony over not being able to convert his 8-tracks to CDs.

Trey cannot drink a beer without it being in his beer-helmut.

Fremen loves experimenting with new sex positions on his 4-wheeler....

unfortunately, he's usually by himself...

PJ takes polaroids...of snow falling...

uncle phil listens to golf on the radio.

ch'i masturbates to bruce lee . . . and he's straight.

Zeraph lifelong dream is to have full sleeve tattoos on both arms of only Disney characters, especially Donald. He has a thing for Donald.

Medusa puts butter on the palms of her hands and then licks it off. She heard that is the best way to acclimate a cat to a new environment, and has adopted it for herself whenever she moves to a new home or changes jobs.

Kramus steals elf shoes.

Elph has some feline genetics... even now she is having fun with catnip.

Lady Sage is has never eaten a roasted marshmallow, because she keeps burning them.

777 lives in a national forest, and dances with the muskrats.

He doesn't get out much...

Yes but me likes them burt best!

Sir Lance has dated many women in his life... the Smith and Wesson twins, Glock and Ruger. He, however, prefrs Colt. It reminds him of his cowboy days.

LS keeps a tin of skoal in her purse for emergencies...

uncle phil, being a skoal bandit, stole lady sage's, then proceeded to conveniently place it in tea bags.

Ch'i pulls a 9-iron on his pizza-delivery boy everytime he delivers, just to keep him on his toes.

Like a migit in a urinal.

Fremen is that pizza boy.

Ch'i likes to cook for his friends, oddly he really enjoy cooking naked. He's friends were OK with this pecadillo until they caught him stirring three things at once... That didn't go over very well.

SuperModerator Charlatan, can leep tall builds in a single bound, is faster than a speeding bullet, etc. Except in the presence of his great weakness, pornonite.

trip-sevens is never around when he's supposed to be...

You should see UP's halloween costume!
He looks so sexy in fishnets!!!!
Marilyn would be proud.

She's Sage Lady, the real Lad Sagey; all those other Lady Sage's are just imataters.

Ch'i was in business once trying to sell: cheese, leather coats and sides of beef at a vegan nudist colony.

pan has a cache of stolen unicycle seats downstairs in the corner behind the hot water heater...(sick, sick, sick...)

Which UP spends his afternoons sniffing!

Sirlance is a constantly self-improving Turkish carpet marketer with a penchant for buggery.

Chi once had a job helping SL

LS dusts those unicycle seats for pan every few days...(sick, sick, sick...)

uncle phil used to ride a unicycle to work everyday; when he decided to retire the unicycle he donated his seat to pan.

* counting my unicycle seats*

Ah yes hi there.... come for Medusa's big secret did ya?

She has men trapped in her basement and makes them...... it's just a very horrible thing she makes them do....... she makes them watch nonstop 24 hour reruns of Hee Haw....

The humanity......... ahhhhhhhh

pan's been wearing the same set of sleeper-jammies for over a week now...and he hasn't even turned them inside-out yet...

uncle phil's greatest ambition in life is to do the voice of Sidekick #3 in a hastily thrown together, made for DVD children's cartoon.

Medusa is super cheap, she recycles her urine (and not very well) instead of buying water.

Zeraph is an alien, and the avatar is his REAL EYE!!!

777 runs around the house wearing a bed sheet as a cape singing "believe it or not im walking on air"

LS has the heart of a young girl. Pickled in formaldehyde on her desk.

Sir Lance is one trapped in Medusa's basement, but he enjoys the 24/7 airings of Hee Haw.....

He likes to sing with the Buck, Roy and the guys "Gloom despair and agony on me"

But the scariest part of it all...... he laughs at the jokes and Minnie Pearl gives him a woodie.

:lol: :lol: :lol: I'm so evil....

pan often volunteers to "help" at bake sales, and "accidentally" substitutes salt for sugar in the cookies that he brings.

You think thats bad you should see what he puts in macorini!!!

Medusa used to take botany classes until getting a little too involved with genetic manipulation..... and a plant tried to eat him/her.

LS is gene splicing to make human-cat hybrids for her army of evil minions and they all worship crazy cat lady from the Simpsons.

Zeraph wears velcro bedroom slippers...to church...

UP knows because he is the priest....

Lady Sage sleeps on a mattress stuffed full of basil, rosemary and thyme with just the perfect amount of sage on top.

Bernadette was on Howie Mandel's "Fits Like a Glove" comedy album...... she was a shoestore manager.

In fact the highlight of Bernadette's life is when she plays Howie yelling "Fuck it Bernadette" (She has it on tape loop and plays it 24/7).

pan recently purchased Cincinnati Bengals' quarterback Carson Palmers game day sweat socks on eBay. To protect them from Lady Sage, he stores them confidently away....one in each cheek.

Ugh, football.

Pan purchased said sweat socks from the ebay ID paddyjoe.... coincidense?