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oh, miss mx. they're holding your latest request at the back door of the "sneak-a-peek" video center...
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Ooooh, just what I've been waiting for....Hardcore Action Studs 23 1/2 starring my all-time favorite - Hunka Unka Phil. |
I KNEW IT! Isnt that the one where hes in his sleeper jammies with the quick open butt panel?
MM was gonna watch it all by herself and not invite us!!! How covetous! |
Lady Sage is STILL trying to find what her husband did with that 18 inch "anaconda" ebony dildo she had last week.
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DC once ate an entire septic tank. How it was possible scientists are still scratching their heads.
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Z's got it on video-tape...
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LS be goin' out to-NIGHT, dressed as a blue man, getting a head start on stealing all the litle people's candy...
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Easy as stealing candy from a baby!
UP dresses up as Elvis every halloween. |
and, he has left the building...
LS can't get the BLUE off... |
Darn smurfs!!
UP had a past life regression done and found out he was Cleopatra in a past life. |
Lady Sage did believe her parents were made of money.
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MM didn't realize little people weren't actually in the TV until age 14.
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Zeraph once had an affair with the mom of one of the little people in the TV. They are still trying to figure out the "child" support payments.
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Lady Sage has had a huge crush on David Hasselhoff since his Knight Rider days in the '80s.
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777 is only bringing it up to take the glaring spotlight off of his own super-colossal crush on David Hasselhoff.
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mixed "IS" david hasselhoff........in disguise of course.
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Fly has a "Polka" folder hidden in his My Music files. And he looks just darling in his lederhosen.
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Mixed's glasses are only a disguise, it hides her true identity. She is really Super Mixedmedia, with powers far in advance of mild mannered Mixedmedia. The only problem is she has yet to discover what the true powers actually are, but all signs point to it having something to do with lemmings and cabbage.
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Crack is actually the Lemming Master. He is a minor diety in charge of the population of the lemmings. Every few years, he summons all the little critters to their doom as he feeds on their spirit, eternally cursed to remain at the bottom of the sea, as Crack continues has everlasting task.
Except that he occationally seeks away from his post to post a post on TFP at a local cyber cafe. :cool: |
yeah we all know who resides in the bowels of the earth.......
666......... nice try you sneaky devil you......... |
and how did the flyman know that?
like buster brown's dog, he lives there too!!! |
uncle phil stuffs his sleeper jammies with Charmin.
Not gonna say just where exactly... but if it makes him happy, who cares? |
bernie likes to squeeeeeeeeeeeeeze the charmin.
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Fly photoshops all his photos before posting them here in TFP. In real life, his band looks like this:
http://www.thewvsr.com/images/ratt.jpg |
JumpinJesus does hair for Fly's band.
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the mixed one winters up north...
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Uncle Phil is not quite the frequency modulator, that is a clever ruse. His real title is mrequency fodulator... strange but true. He also speaks a nigh forgotten form of sweedish know only to himself and his imaginary best friend, Hans.
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In certain circles, Crack goes by the name Hans.
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JumpinJesus "earned" his handle for all those times he tryed to brake the world record for Most Jumping Jacks in one Week.
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trip-7s lost his ass on the last time he was holding three sevens and lost the pot...
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Speaking of pot... You can keep the one you borrowed from me UP, I heard what you made in it. *horrors*
***Note*** Do not go to Uncle Phils for dinner..... |
Lady Sage is too jaded to be bother or disturbed by what's going on at Uncle Phils. She just fakes it for her loved ones to appear normal (like them).
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777 lost his job as Pluto at Disneyland after humping the legs of middle-aged men and mock-peeing on the legs of spoiled children.
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JumpinJesus follows random people around and chronicles their lives in his "photo library."
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Ch'i was born a coal miner's daughter...in a cabin on a hill in Butcher Holler.
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mixedmedia enjoys laying prone on a bed of nails.
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Ch'i racked his brain for days trying to come up with a nickname before joining TFP.
Some of the names that didn't make the cut: Fancy Pants Mr. Giggles Sir SniffleKiss Happy Pappy Schmoopy Fuzzy Wuzzy Uncle Phil |
jj is a hardcore hippie..............
"cept he shaves his armpits. |
fly's pantyhose are no secret, but how he obtained them? (see, there was this tranvestite who lived around the corner from one of the fly's roofing jobs...)
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uncle phil receives frequent roof jobs from Fly.
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Ch'i likes to watch.
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MixedMedia is a Veronica Lake look-a-like.
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The cute Elph likes it when we spread peanut butter on her elbows.
She's cool like that. |
Fremen actually prefers watersports over those involving sand and dirt, but is afraid of being pummeled if such an admission is made publicly.
(new to the thread, be gentle. :p ) |
diva actually likes it rough as opposed to gentle.
good on you girl. diva actually likes it rough as opposed to gentle. good on you girl. |
Fly's story for the cops, after they found the pot plant in the backyard, is that he really, sincerly, actually thought it was a giant, regular, non-pot weed.
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Fly says everything twice, everything twice.
And he is an excellent driver. ;) Awww, man.... 777 did that on purpose. |
mixedmedia never does it on purpose.
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Yeah, guess I just "get lucky." :suave:
Ch'i has permanent orange stains on his fingers from his pathetic Cheetos addiction. |
mixedmedia is really Stephanie March, and she will prosecute.
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Ch'i mutilated his own ears to look like an elf.
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Zeraphs real name is Seraphina...
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ohh........cheetos and porno.......problem child written all over that.
mixed "DOES" do it on purpose..........don't let her fool you. what do you mean refresh..............sorry guys. sage likes to ride tricycles.......... |
Fly would bend over backward for his friends at tfp...
http://i20.photobucket.com/albums/b2...edia/twist.jpg awww, fly aren't you sweet? |
mixedmedia has been saving all the lint she has removed from her toenails since she was 12 and has grand plans for it: she is going to knit a sweater. She doesn't want anyone to know where the material came from.
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JJ has a large collection of sex toys. He doesn't use any of them and he doesn't tell shesus about them either. He just likes to look at them.
The collection has gotten so large that he has taken out a storage locker. he goes there about once a week to just sit an look at them. Between visits it's all he can think about. He's not sure when it started but his hobby is starting to worry him. |
Charlatan's just afraid of losing his best customer...
http://i20.photobucket.com/albums/b2...e-resize-1.jpg |
mm hold the patent on the polish tickler.... too bad the french got there first!
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SirLance no use good gramar.
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Ch'i screams out ________'s name in his sleep. (the real name he screams is just too horrible to reveal publicly)
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Ch'i is a wealthy eccentric. He bathes in green tea whenever he's angry, convinced it will turn him into the Incredible Hulk.
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jumpin' jesus jumps even though he doesn't have to since he can walk on water as it is.
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our resident "speaker" only recently discovered the wonders of his double-jointed thumb...
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Uncle Phil, at this very moment, is singing and dancing in front of a mirror in his tiger-striped bikini underwear while listening to Depeche Mode's I Just Can't Get Enough. It's twue, it's twue.
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and the mixed one is holding the mirror...one of those wavy, carnival-type mirrors that make you look like a fat, crooked shmoo...
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uncle phil once spent 13 straight hours looking for every possible remix to "We Built This City" on a file-sharing client. He weeped uncontrollably after getting a poor connection to a file titled "We Built This City - Rochester Mix" and spending 4 hours downloading it only to find out that it was a misnamed Bob Seger song. He immediately proceeded to fire off an angry email to Grace Slick demanding to know if there existed such a rare mix. He's still waiting for the reply.
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meanwhile, back at the ranch, JJ, not recognizing tonto in his disguise as a barstool, sat on him... |
Uncle Phil was disguised as the next barstool, and was horribly dissapointed when JJ didn't sit on HIM.
Which explains the weeping sound you heard, JJ.... |
Of course SL would know since his night job is pole dancing at said bar. *gasp*
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What Lady Sage won't tell you is that she once wrote a fawning fan letter to David Cassidy. It went "I think I love you, so what am I so afraid of? I'm afraid that I'm not sure of a love there is no cure for." Mortified to hear the contents of the letter in a hit song 6 months later, she sued for intellectual theft. It was the pilot case on "The People's Court" but never aired. The reason was that Miss Sage was so humiliated by the whole episode that she sent a friend to impersonate her. The ruse was discovered, but Judge Wapner was so impressed with her friend's acting ability that he made a few phone calls and 30 some years later, she is selling figurines on QVC. Lady Sage holds such a grudge against her friend that she refuses to order any cable service that carries QVC.
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How does JJ know this? And well you might ask!
JJ IS DAVID CASSIDY! The HORROR! DAVID CASSIDY IS ON TFP! |
SL, you snake...
danny bonaduce you're not? |
uncle phil is actually dr phils father
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timothy is actually for tsetses
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mm was the only listener to Danny Bonaduce's radio program...
and how do I know this, you ask? Uncle Phil is right! I AM DANNY BONADUCE! BWAHAHAHAHAHAH! |
doncha just hate being right all the time?
the lanced one has red hair...on his left-hand ring finger... |
UP thinks "sugar pills" are a type of vitamin.
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Z bought a hula-hoop at a garage sale last saturday...
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uncle p dressed in his best "go-to-town" sleeper jammies last Saturday and stroked his autoharp playing, "The Night the Lights Went Out in Georgia".
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Fremen has a pet cockroach named Marvin which he keeps hidden away in his pants pocket during the day. But at night, Marvin comes out and sits on Fremen's shoulder while they watch old Dallas re-runs and eat Cheez-Wiz and Ritz crackers.
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MM buys sperm from the sperm bank...to ice her drinks with.
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Ewwwww....
Zeraph is gross. :lol: |
Mixedmedia keeps an unnamed person's photo inside her undergarments.
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L loves to cook but when he does he measures out all cooking ingredients from a prostitute's orifices. Do NOT eat his brownies or chocolate pudding. |
Zeraph claims to inhabit the cosmos, but actually lives in a railroad car outside hoboken. He recently made a guest appearence in a credit card commercial.
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SirLance.. He's working as Santa this year at various malls.
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yes, and luckily he'll have his trusty elf, ol' blue eyes right beside him all the way.
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PJ doesnt come around much these days because he has found true lust with a toaster, a cigar and a plush Barney doll.... its sick PJ sick, sick!
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Lady Sage uses only men's brands of deodorant.
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loquitur is the founder of a barbershop quartet called "The Loquacious Loquitors." It failed because he was the only member and could not sing in 4 voices at once.
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Which SL knows because he is an avid fan and groupie of barbershop quartets.
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Zeraph is Matt Lauer's stunt double.
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Hairy JumpinJesus during the approach of a full moon, listens to Depeche Mode and New Order and mutters "you must be the soundtrack of my life" in the middle of the night.
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BE naturally has brown eyes but get's blue from slaughtering thousands and thousands of dolphins to "extract" their blue.
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Zeraph carries a Hello Kitty backpack.
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One of the books on Mixed's shelf reveals a secret passage to the dungeon.
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the sevens tried to swim to china when he was 6 years old...in the bathtub...
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unc p hardly ever cleans his balls.
The other golfers keep their distance. |
luckily for the golfing community, Fremen is very handy with a washcloth.......
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