Mixedmedia has been experimenting in body painting. She started with coating her breasts with paint, and leaving an impression on the canvas, to completely soaking her entire body in many colors, and flinging herself into her art.

777 has unusually large hands. He tries to hide them by wearing unusually large suits. Unfortunately it makes his head look large. So he wears a lot of hats to compensate.

Charlatan on the other hand has a large glove and a large hat, suggesting that he is generally "large". And although size matters, Charlatan has kept his 'size' a well-kept secret...

As Sharon sensuously stroked her amazingly hairless ass the other night (driving tfpers crazy) she discovered it wasn't intact.

Ocm? ain't right...

Agreed, and a public apology.

uncle phil harbors a strange fear of Prince, or whatever he's called this year.

OCM is Prince.

Sharon likes to sit for days and stare at the wall. When asked why all she as to say about it is, "I love my wall."

Her parents think she just a little weird but they love her anyway.

Sweating in the tropics, Charlatan has reconsidered the meanings of his "bad" dreams; sometimes they feel so GOOD!

OCM? Is NOT Prince. OCM? is Carl Jung's great great grandson, Nottingham Wilbert Jung.

Yes indeedy, ladies and gents, OCM is Not Wil Jung....

Sir Lance once took hallucinogens with some natives in Bora Bora and he has yet to figure out why he woke up with a squid in his underwear.

the mixed one has a kilt in her closet for those "special" occasions...

Thrice daily...

Ocm? once beat a Canadian toker on the ass at a roofer's convention.

Fremen is actually the most sensitive cow-tipper in Texas. He lays a mattress down so the cows don't hurt themselves when they fall.

........then joe comes along and has his way with the cows.


freak



*and Fre......who might you be refering too?*

Fly had a secret marriage when he was 14 to a Danish contortionist who worked in a sideshow. They lived blissfully in her carnival trailer for a short while until one deep, dark night his parents whisked him away without his even having an opportunity to say farewell to his demanding yet flexible lover. Now, even years later, he is still aroused whenever he sees posable action figures and Gumby dolls.

mixedmedia wears prada

OCM's big secret is that he is not human

Charlatan has volumes of detailed maturbation journals that he has kept since he was a child.

mixedmedia has been rummaging through my journals.

Charlatan's journals might have masturbation reminiscences in them, but they also contain flowers and butterflies.

Flowers and butterflies are OCM?'s favorite sexual fantasies...

And?

SirLance likes making stuff up but won't hop a plane because he's afraid of flying.

OCM hosts elaborate orgies at his house where he has sex with all the guests. But he only ever invites domesticated animals.

Teacher, teacher, I declare, I saw Sharon's underwear!

Sharon, what's with the boxer shorts?

Sir Lance enjoys rolling naked in the hay. By himself.

He likes the way it prickles his flesh.

charlie sleeps with two empty tin cans...covered with two layers of flannel...and bound together with two-sided tape...

phil likes silly love songs............and he digs Elton too.

fly likes to cover his bed in gummi bears and roll naked in them. He never eats them but he does offer them out to guests as a treat.

Charlatan has a special gummi-bear mold, that strongly resembles his first grade teacher...

SirLance is really a ninja from China

Amonkie 是一樣華美像Garbo! 牌子門羅看起來像狒狒!

But, she would never let on.

SirLance has yet to give me anything long and hard, even with the Chinese language pack. (What the hell was that supposed to mean, anyway?)

Amonkie is more sultry than Garbo, and makes Monroe look like a beast.

OCM loves things long & hard!

(SIR! You have to make something up that nobody knows yet!)

SirLance was looking out his window the other night and thought he saw a fairy. When he went out to investigate he discovered his neighbor, putting up listening equipment, and as quiet as a mouse he snuck back inside. The very idea of being heard made him...very excited.

crazymod makes a mean plate of pasta.
If you don't eat it all, it kicks your ass.

Fremen has a recurring dream about tying Simon Cowell to a chair and force-feeding him pasta until he actually turns into a pasta noodle and is eaten by Dom DeLuise with a nice vodka sauce.

mixedmedia has a secret dream of owning a penis, and violently boning all the men who have ever done her wrong.

Sharon "owns" a penis, but isn't as satisfied with it as she thought she'd be.

OCM tried to make a love toy out of the snow, and it hurt soooo goooood!

Tried and succeeded. Of course, it had to melt a bit.

SirLance, his knees having turned to water, realized he could not, after all, board the plane. There followed minimal blushing and a bit of clean-up.

Crazymod reads Better Homes & Gardens hidden inside Playboy magazines.

Fremen doesn't know how to read...........



*but them pics are damn fine eh buddy?*

Fly's all out in the open.

ourcrazymodern? 's deepest darkest secret is that s/he has six toes and four nipples, and enjoys showing them off by streaking through disneyland after infiltrating it in a daffy duck costume. poor children...

You miscounted my nipples.

yelizaveta sometimes thinks about the nature of the universe.

OCM?'s favorite color is ultraviolet.

SirLance's favorite color is infrared.

trip-7s won a poker game once in the seventh grade...for three (3) matches...

phil.



on a good day...........pulls "IT" off in three strokes.

fly couldn't pull it off in three strokes on a dare...

his ELP has crawled all the way here again.

Ourcrazymodern? has wasted most of his life in this thread. http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/showthread.php?p=2222744

(Does that mean I can expire soon?)

MexicanOnABike has been pedalling continuously, not realizing his chain was broken.

Ourcrazymodern? digests his food outside his body.

GHBurger's darkest secret and fear.
 

There's Nothing Quite Like Giant Hamburger,
who lets you Have It Your Way because
he says he Loves To See You Smile,
but the truth is that What You Crave
is to Enjoy More. Got The Urge?

Well, Come On Home whilst you
Fuel Your Fire with a Bigger! Better! King,
Me! Wake Up With The King and
You'll Enjoy The Difference.
Ya Gotta Eat! and with me,
you will finally receive the Things That Make You Go 'Hmm'.
Oh Yeah. It Takes Two Hands To Handle A Whopper.

You will Love This Place for the simple reason
that What You Want Is What You Get.
We Do It Like You'd Do It! Every Time A Good Time.
It's Always Something Special when You Know It's Right... It's Wong.

It's Better Here.

Jetstream wants to be smaller

OCM wants to be... uh... bigger

But that might hurt, Sharon.

Her plane ticket expiring, and the airport too far away, Sharon lapsed back into herself and enjoyed it.

Ourcrazymodern? is an Amway distributor.

And Poppinjay is his pimp, yo.

And Sharon is their biggest customer!

and sirlance drives a pink cadillac...

but uncle phil drinks diet coke... through a twirly straw... in his best dress... on Thursdays.

Jetstream appears in my dreams and assists me.

Ourcrazymodern? gnaws baldspots on potential mates.

Giant Hamburger has an astranged borther, Giant Spamburger. The haven't said a word to one another in over 30 years.

777 is the World's absolute authority on the care and cleaning of dirty old beavers.

Better bring your wood, 7.

Fremen rhymes with semen, and for good reason.

Sharon steams her vegetables in an exposed vent of an angry volcano god.

Giant Hamburger is the favorite to replace Alberto Gonzales as U.S. Attorney General. He has vowed to immediately repeal all anit-porn laws.

SirLance is eagerly awaiting the repeal of all anti-porn laws, because he has a taste for a particularly "niche" type...

Sharon's "niche" is "sparkle".

OCM, I am your great great grandson from a bleak and hopeless future.
With great risk I have traveled through time to warn you.
You will be the catalyst to a destruction heretofore unimagined.
You must never say "no" to mayonaise
or mustard, the story is unclear with that critical detail.
It is of the utmost importance that you heed my warning.
You are our only hope.

the name "Giant Hamburger" actually comes from unscrambling the letters in "Anti-G Hamburger" which of course is short for "Anti-Gravity Hamburger".
so not only is He of abnormal size, but he is also edible in a 0 G atmosphere. thus his "love" for all things intergalactic... and his "thing" for all love intergalactic.

Doodlebird is not actually as cute she appears to be.

In actuality, doodlebird is a fake, but is in fact merely three iguanas inside a suit that is made to look like a cute drawing of a merry bird. What a twist, wouldn't you say?

Jetstream is actually a Bonsai Kitten (remember those?). He was a tiger cub who was raised in a bunny-shaped mold... which broke one day as he grew too big, and he is now bunny-shaped.

Sharon keeps a large bucket full of worms under her bed.

It's nothing kinky. She just likes to listen to them squirm. It helps her sleep.

Charlatan keeps a large bucket full of women under his bed.

It's nothing kinky (sorry, I meant it's very kinky). He really likes to listen to them squirm. It helps him sleep.

Sharon can almost never be found squirming under Charlatan's bed at night.

mixedmedia, on the other hand... ;)

mysharona once kissed a frog to see if it was true...

uncle phil reconsiders the nature of truth every day.

OCM has a large selection of odd socks.

At first it was a matter of swiping them from laundromats. He would sit and watch people fold their laundry and he'd be amused when they would scratch their heads upon discovering that they were missing a sock.

It escalated to breaking into people's house to swipe their socks, just one sock mind you!

Lately he hasn't been as adventurous and just buys odd sock in large batches from eBay.

Charlatan can swallow things larger than his head.

Giant Hamburger once swallowed an entire mobile home, and the family living in it.

SirLance is really a lactose intolerant transsexual nazi eskimo who dresses up in leather and loves whips and chains.

You forgot the high heels.

LS once blew Forty Dollars at the blackjack table in Vegas.

Boy, was Mr. Dollars suprised...

SirLance was the dealer that night in his/her dominatrix outfit.

That really is just a gun in 777's pocket, only he is not happy to see you, he came here to kill you, but he is a cowardly hitman, and he is too ashamed to mention that the gun in his pocket is really only a water gun because they took away his actual issued pistol after he accidentally shot everyone at the PokeyOak's Assisted Living Home, believing all the seniors there to be involved in a ring of Columbian drug cartels.
He was horrilbly wrong, and now he is pissed off with water trickling down his pants.

Jetstream is in disguise. Former disguises include flying around in the midst of diamonds under the nickname "Lucy".

Sharon goes by the nickname "Scarin'" Sharon after the night she found a note on her pillow saying, "I will come to you on the second night of the second month in the second hour of the A.M. under the full moon, dressed in nothing but cheese, onions, lettuce, pickles, and tomatoes. (maybe a few condiments, as well)
Be ready for the devouring."

signed, "yours in mastication,
Giant Hamburger"

-----

Sharon was exposed to a gastronomic night of delightful terror that to this day makes her back twitch with remembered pleasure-pain.

Her story made the headlines of "Hamburger Happenings" in the food section of the Times.

Fremen can read.





(just not Dune)

Charlatan can read minds, but only between the hours of noon and 12:01pm.

SirLance likes to touch himself when no one is looking. Actually, he likes to touch himself even more when someone is...

Sharon's favorite song is "Amazing Grace".

ourcrazymodern does not belong to us, is reasonably sane, and decidely antiquated.

doodlebird is really a poodle cat.

after mysharona kissed the aforementioned frog, purple rain fell...