What can I say? I was higher on the food chain and nothing goes better with spinach and romaine lettuce than some maters! (SirLance made me do it mind you it was a dare)

SirLance has a thing for much older women so for the holidays he dresses up and Santa Claus and frequents nursing homes (oh the HUMANITY)

He also slips the neighborhood cats prozac on his evening walks

Lady Sage is hooked on catnip..........


been climbin' the curtains lately?

Yes I have and thank you SO much for bringing up such painful memories! I am well on the road to recovery but you just blew my cover for my stash of kitty crack in the bathroom. THANKS A LOT!!!!!

Mr. Flymans biggest fear is that all of the clocks everywhere will go from 4:19-4:21 skipping that time he likes most *HORRORS*

LS isn't really tilted...

U Phil buys used underwear.

Zeraph found a locket in his pocket, while working on a rocket with his socket.



/me stop now

Oh, I am tilted in so many ways... I dont know why it says I am though... I never changed it? Oh well.

Mr. Fremen is really an alien doing a study on human development.

LS, you still leanin' to the left?

I am so far off in left field that I have been benched!

Uncle Phil is a closet kleptomaniac.

Lady Sage digs it under the bleachers.

Speaking of digging, the cops still haven't found those annoying neighbor kids that mysteriously disappeard from Fly's 'hood. 'Nuff said.

Sir Lance helped Fly hide the bodies...

She knows what Parsley and Thyme did to Rosemary while she was sleeping.

warrrreagl wears his Liberace sleeper-jammies for special occasions.
(Such as, the First Monday of the Month, and New Tube of Toothpaste Day)

fre, man, you gotta wash those things more than once every two years...

Uncle Phil just published a self-help book on the care and feeding of sleeper jammies.

The best part is, the book was just a gag, but it's flying off the shelves, and people are taking Uncle Phil's advice seriously!

Oh I know alright... but my lips are sealed...

Cali chick has never been to Cali *gasp*

Not quite, but some days, it feels like it... =\

Lady Sage isn't really a "lady"... ;)

Cali sells pre-squeezed oranges out of the trunk of her car.

Fre usually sits on the right side of his couch........he's just being rebellious

Flyman really doesn't smoke pot. In fact, he couldn't even distinguish it's smell from burning autumn leaves or some patchouli incense.

the med never cuts her hair...

Of course not! Snakes dont like to be cut silly!

Phil once had a date with Janet Reno :eek:

Since I live with and soon will be Mr. Lady Sage.... I can let you in on her truly worst secret................

Lady Sage ......... still believes in the Easter Bunny and Santa Claus..... and has a fixation for the old Rankin and Bass holiday cartoons.

Ohhh do I now??? Thats funny since I havent watched TV in ELEVEN YEARS :p
Lets not forget my extreme dislike for holidays in general :p

Mr. Pan however ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh boy! HE had a love affair with the tooth fairy! Oh yes he did of course it was before me so I dont care. And, and , and he was abused by vegetables when he was a small child and therefore refuses to eat them now. Oh woe is me trying to cook! *sobs inconsolably*

LS only owns two pair of shoes...

The sad thing is YOU'RE RIGHT! I do only own two pairs of shoes. They both need replaced too :lol:

Alas, Phil has a plan to marry only women named Marilyn and to name all female children Marilyn Jean. In the event he has a boy he wants to name him... Norman.

Norman
John D. Loudermilk

Norman, Oooo, Norman, Oooo
Norman, Norman my love

Jimmy called me on the phone
But I was gone, not at home
'Cause I was out parked all alone
With darlin' Norman

Bill invited me to a show
But I said "no, cannot go
There's a dress that I've got to sew
And wear for Norman"

Norman holds me close to him
Norman kisses me, and then
Norman knows my heart belongs to him, and him, and only him, oh
Norman, Oooo, Norman, Oooo
Norman, Norman my love

Joey asked me for a date
He wanted to take me out to skate
But I told Joey he would have to make
Arrangements with Norman

Norman is my only love
Norman's all I'm thinking of
Norman gives me all his lovin', kissin', huggin', lovey dovin'
Norman, Oooo, Norman, Oooo
Norman, Norman my love


sorry, had to be done...

meanwhile, back at the ranch, LS, not recognizing the lone ranger in his disguise as a pool table, racked his balls...twice...

Uncle Phil is actually Lady Sage, and has been talking to himself for the last day.

I do own a pool table and I do rack balls but Pan resents being called the lone ranger hahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

Cali is actually a wolf in sheeps clothing (she enjoys the roll play dont ya know)hehehehehe!

Lady Sage is actually a plant hybrid of human intelligence that lures people into her house so she can digest them, much like the fly trap.

Ah if only you knew how true that was Zeraph.

Would ya believe Zeraph was once abducted by aliens?

Alright then..... Zeraph was once mistaken by the FBI as an alien after running naked through the Atlanta airport at 5PM on a Friday, claiming that Earthlings were to soon be conquered by his race.

Pan enjoys multiple personality disorder and frequent delusions. Much to my demise he is in denial about taking his meds and well..... here he is. He is also adept at picking locks hence his finding his way online to torment you poor people.

LS whistles when she snores...

Yanno... I thought that was you collecting dust in the corner of my room watching me sleep...

Phils biggest ambition is to be a professional stalker and maybe one day work for the CIA as a (cue the music) secret ..........agent man!

Lady Sage has a panic room-style room in her place, but instead of going there to get away from intruders, she goes there to watch the 25 different TV sets. The TV sets are not only security monitors, they get broadcasts from all over the world... her favorite show is an Egyptian sitcom featuring a mummy and the trials and tribulations that he goes through in day-to-day life.

Liv isn't really from California as she would have you beieve. Her name is actually a reference to her secret obsession with Calista Flockhart.

shalafi has never been to the "best" coast of florida...

Phil is really a closet lactose intolerant transsexual nazi eskimo *gasp*

Lady Sage likes to cook in the nude (except her apron of course) and give her neighbors a show...

Could this be why they are moving? Bwahahahahahaha!

Medusa goes to the pet store once a week and puts her head in the mouse cage to let her hair snakes eat. Oh the humanity of it all!!!!!!!

LS keeps mice in her purse to scare the 'Tweens in the mall with.

Fremen lets his pet mouse wiggle around in his underdrawers, usually while he's in church..........

Actually... my pet rat died two days ago

Fremen needs the mice in his trousers to make church interesting...

Paddyjoe really only grows that goatee as a flavor saver.... that way he can lick his lips at any time and revisit that sinfully good cheeseburger. (and you people thought it was gonna be dirty -for shame) *giggles*

LS is the head of a secret society that sacrifices rats. This is the REAL reason her pet rat died...

SirLance is actually a 13 yo girl in the Arctic.

Cali once went to Catalina Island expecting to find it inhabited solely by cats named Leena.

Secretly Pan likes to keep down the little man.

Gatorade once had a sex filled weekend with a famous woman (who's name cannot be mentioned...... just the initials L.L.) only to find that she eats Oreos in bed and leaves crumbs all over the sheets.

For that Gator had to kick her out of bed and refuse her marriage proposal..... guess the sex just wasn't worth cookie crumbs in bed.

Gatorade Frost is a gay democrat.

Edit: pan, you're too quick.

pan is a tight-assed republican.

Liv is actually....a Guy, though he plays a woman on TV. Such skill is seldom seen in the Soap Opera circuit

edited and placed below

Now Tech is the fast one.......

Tech was seen once streaking down Madison Avenue in NYC..... he was approached by many transvestites and it caused him to question his own sexuality..... however briefly.

tec has illusions of grandeur... he thinks he runs Moe's

the actuality is, women run everything... I should know, I'm a guy, and I don't run anything.

Edit: I'm going to wait until pan goes to bed before posting again... :lol:

pan is known to the rest of the world as George W. Bush.

Cali once bought some badass weed, thought he was Brad Pitt spent the night with a drunk Jennifer Aniston and is the true reason Jennifer and Brad got divorced.

Oh yeah, Cali..... I had to edit because Tech was too fast and then edit again when I found out you were a man.....lol oopsy

ol' pan's a closet Steeler fan....


oh, the shame, the shame......

Oh good gods have mercy on my soul!!!!!
My future husband is a republican? Thats it! I am gonna get you!
Oh no! He's George Bush? The wedding is off!!!!!!!!! I refuse to marry a *censored censored censored censor*
Steelers fan? Oh youre out of the will now!!!!!!!!

Paddyjoe is a vegan with cannibalistic urges *gasp*

*looks around for pan, and doesn't see him at the moment... hopes he's not wearing a cloak of invisibility...

Lady Sage, it's okay that your "future" husband is George W. Bush, because, and I'm sorry for spilling the beans on this one, the rest of the world knows you as Laura Bush... you can drop the "future" act now... ;)

*Gags on her peanutbutter toast...* I would rather be known as Osama BinLaden!
However my fine furry friend your secret is out as well! You are George Bushes scotty dog Barney!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Muahahahahahahaaaaaaa

Lady Sage knows a lot about Barney..... she is a Barney the Dinosaur groupie and sleeps with a cut out of Barney Fife....

In fact in role playing bad games she'll scream "get your bullet out of your pocket and shoot me baby"



PS: Paddy this was hitting way below the belt .........

Just you wait I will get you back ;)

Oh, love of my life you do not play fair and so I am forced to tell everyone that my whole Barney Fife thing while role playing in bed is simply because you like to pretend that I am Andy Griffith.... Sad yet true... yes that man of mine is a closet case... Go back in the closet honey, you like it there... it makes you "happy".

Well, since we're clarifying things, I am indeed female, as my profile picture will attest to.

Lady Sage has the Dallas Cowboys logo tattooed on her upper inner thigh. Don't ask how I know this, because even pan doesn't get to know. Suffice to say, I just know.

The logo was from my younger days when I thought it would be cool for me to seduce the whole team... sadly I wasnt hot enough for them so the tattoo was my consolation prize. And Cali, being female, is really a topless dancer in a redneck sports bar. :)

LS still believes in "america's team..."

I was wondering where you ran off to and as I clicked on the nonsense tab I thought to myself... c'mon Phil where ya been? Get in here and stir things up!

I do still believe in "americas team" *sob* but alas Phil squashed most of my dreams when he had an affair with the entire team before I could! (As stated in a previous post I seem to have this affinity for seducing entire teams and I dont like competition Phil!)

*sob* You coulda saved at least one for me! *sob* Didnt you ever learn to share!!!!

dandy don still pines for the LS..

phil shot an elephant in his sleeper jammies yesterday.
How an elephant got in his sleeper jammies, we'll never know. :suave:

Fre hates mustard.


he's a mayo kinda guy.

Flyman was adopted by Vincent Price!

Sir Lance listens to Frank Sinatra and Jimmy Buffett's version of "Mack the Knife" and doesn't understand the lyrics.

pan still has a pet rock...

Actually, yes he does. It was one of the many from uncle phils head........

Which ironically enough, paddyjoe was married to that pet rock, but then divorced because he was too lethargic for it.

Once again Zeraph was arrested for posting his measurements on the Church bulletin board,
You know the priest likes to keep it under wraps, Zer.

Fremen is the official spokesman for the Committee to Elect Hilary to the Senate to Keep Her Out of the White House.

SL can't swim...

Phil saw jaws so many times he's afraid to even take a bath...

Oracle2380 lost his virginity at the tender age of 37 to a transvestite on a bridge in the redlight district of Rotterdam, Netherlands. No wait thats not right. oh yeah, Lady Sage has no sense of humour.

oracle2380 doesn't actually know and see all, despite what The Matrix has advertised. Damn virgin. :D

CaliLivChick is the chosen one, prophesied to forever pick her nose.

Oracle once was arrested for being naked in downtown Phoenix..... arrested not for public indecency but for creating a mass disturbance..... seems traffic jammed due to hysterically laughing drivers.

Pan has a thing for Yoko Ono porn.....

You swore you would never tell........ women.

Ok fine let my secret out will ya.......

Lady Sage likes to rub cat nip all over her body and and have the cats lick her and play with her as if she were a cat toy for hours on end.

yoko ono porn? eeeeeeeeeewwww!!!

in another life, pan was the opening act for zamfir...

phil likes lollipops........



*snicker*

Of course, why else would I have nipple rings? Perfect cat toys hahahahaha!

Flyman still has a pin-up poster of Farrah Fawcet and he still has dreams about the naughty things he would like to do to her.:lol:

and LS can't say anything about her fetish for ringo's "heavy" sticks...

okay.........i thought this was just a fun thread.


now we're getting a little too personal.

so fucking what if i have a Farrah Fawcett poster at the age of 37?

does that make me a bad person?????...........i don't fucking think so.

wierd maybe,.......sure i'd hafta agree but,..........bad?

:D

anyways.........


'ol uncle mystro here,really goes of on "heavy" sticks........


that's just cuz he plants the ball 40 yards "past" where he wants to be.


take a lesser club buddy.............no shit.

Flyman only pretends to hate squirrels to hide his perverted love...

said the guy who fondled the furry fiends, furiously on fridays.........



just sad the things people do to animals these days.

Sorry about the Farrah Fawcet poster man, but at least I didnt tell them about the german shepard and the jar of peanut butter! Er, well.... I guess I did now......... dang im sorry man...

LS leaves her diary unlocked...

Oh Phil, even my check book is locked in a filing cabinet!
My life is locked up tigher than a government conspiracy!

Phil once thought he had a stalker... then realized he couldnt legally get a restraining order against a cat.

LS has never read the New York Times...

Uncle Phil is actually Bob Woodward's cousin, Randolph. His role as "Shallow Throat" was cut from the book/movie deal after the producers got a look at him...

SirLance took the role of "Shallow Throat" to whole new levels in some movies back in the 70's...

Pigglet has had affairs with Eyeore and Tigger to hide his true lust for Rabbit.

Pan has a thing for blondes, in fact he piked one up yesterday cute lil thing, 4 paws and how he loves to give her kisses..... I feel so neglected. *sob*

LS secretly PMs fremen to ask where she can score a set of sleeper jammies...

uncle phil longs for the day that he can score in his sleeper jammies.....