and pj is right behind him with a blow dry!

And SL is right there, taping it all!

Edit: I wonder how long we could keep something like this going? That is, implementing the previous poster in the same secret.

Zeraph is writing his thesis on "Balls and the Effects of Embalmed Balls on Vagrant Golfers"; video not withstanding.

Ch'i secretly licks his golf clubs each night. Three times on each wood, two times on each iron. And what he does to the putter is too indecent to mention in this polite forum.

the talkative one mentioned it once on another forum...a kinky forum...

Uncle Phil haunts us all at our "kinky forums." :eek:

mm goes shopping naked at the night and runs on the road with the hands on the head!

edge reads Proust naked while standing in the deli section of Wal-Mart.

Fremen once applied for a butcher job in the deli section. He didn't realize that the meat is already sliced....

SirLance enjoys a nice sliced beef tongue sandwich w/ onions and brown mustard at least once a week.

the mixed one has a morbid fear of blue m & ms...

Uncle Phil is saving all his blue m&ms so someday he can scare mixedmedia out of his mind.

I know ourcrazymodern? is new here, so I'll let the gender discrepancy slide, ehem...but I'll have you know I am alllll woman. ;)

The "?" in ourcrazymodern's username stands for "robot penis."

Sorry, mm, I knew that. I meant Uncle Phil is trying to scare you out of his own mind!

mixedmedia eats salad for desert and has the sweets up front! Mmm, mmm!
Alllll woman, indeed.

ocm just wore his shorts when he went outside to check his mail...

OCM? assumes we all have peni and sugar-related issues, as her robotic penis exudes geysers of chocolate when she becomes too excited. she's carbophalliphilic.

/wait, are you a chick?

and since phil, just like he always did, runs in and steals my thunder, i'll reveal that he was roasting marshmellows in the transhcan outside ocm?'s, in anticipation of stealing his/her chocolate robotic penis and making mushroom shaped s'mores. melts in his mouth, not in his hand.

Well, yes, and it's cold outside! That's why I thought I'd better put something on.

Uncle Phil sometimes in his own mind spells his name with an F.

I thought all guys have penis issues of one sort or another.
& I do love chocolate.

Pigglett shares the fear of things blue, but realizes that colors don't show up in the dark, and that they often taste sweeter there.

uh...yeah.....riiiight :p

ocp?, coined succinctly by monsieur pigglet (pronounced peeg-lay), once (as in last week) became paralyzed with fear on the choo-choo at the local zoo.

mais oui, ma cherie?

m^2 caused the fear, of course...dressing up in a navin r. johnson costume on the choo-choo and screaming about her "special purpose."

pigglet's special purpose is the introduction of the corkscrew-shaped unit into other peoples' minds. Not to say I didn't enjoy it.

ocm doesn't really have any secrets...scary, ain't it?

up keeps some of his secrets even from himself. Schizophrenia can be a wonderful thing. Now, what did "we" do with that damn closet? No more wire hangers!!!!!

OCM? doesn't wear socks...

nope, he wears phil's socks. right when they're fresh and warm from the dryer. pops 'em on, gets the that warm fuzzy feeling, rolls 'em back up.

Pigglet believes it's a beautiful world, especially while he's corkscrewing my mind. Sorry, honey.

OCM? once ate his pet turtle...

Uncle Phil, while on his whirlwind hot-tubbing-around-the-world grand tour, leaves the ladies pining everywhere he goes.

http://i20.photobucket.com/albums/b2...nowmonkeys.jpg

mixedmedia really blows my skirt up! Oh, wait - that's one of my secrets!
Um, mixedmedia likes to fingerpaint, using her whole body.

Ourcrazymodern? loves to dress up like Marilyn Monroe for the skirt blowing pose. But only if they can find a large grate... which they spend copious amounts of time trying to locate while perfecting the pout.

I wish I had a uterus.
 

:thumbsup: Lady Sage wishes she was a long-beard.
Talk about blowing my skirt up.:D

I saw a bumper sticker once that said a liberal is one so open-minded that their brain fell out. My bumper sticker says that the road to hell is paved with republicans. What's the difference?

Lady Sage is a long beard.

OCM? is a buffalo bills fan...

When uncle phil finally finished reeling in his e.l.p. he put it (mostly) into his carry-on and flew to Las Vegas to see Barbra Streisand. And he enjoyed the show.

Ourcrazymodern? regularly sneezes in the soup du jour.

ThatStooDamnDad was a sneeze guard sales person.

777 has a pancake fetish. He can only orgasm while eating a short stack smothered in maple syrup.

He has lost a few girlfriends who just couldn't handle the maple syrup in their hair.

He tried crepes once but it just didn't do it for him.

Charlie likes to dress as a Geisha girl............then go get a burger.

Fly has been observed with a banjo and a corn cob pipe, muttering "man, he got purty lips..."

SirLance has purty lips...doggone, boy, come'n over her and give 'er a kiss.

the mixed one wanted to hear SL squeal like a pig...

uncle phil actually prefers toilet paper that's not quite so soft. No Charmin here, and the ultra? Eeeww!

Ourcrazymodern? sculpted a life-size replica of Michelangelo's Statue of David out of cream cheese.

That's no secret! Anyway, it collapsed under its own weight.
And the people came from miles around to eat him.

Mixedmedia fantasizes about doing it on horseback while tied up to the bed-posts. Talk about mixing your medias. xx!
I suppose one could do it on a Clydesdale or a Percheron?

ocm? has been keeping his own personal chia pet for the past 7 years...

Uncle Phil Hasn't gotten over his obsession with pigs and the way they squeal when he touches them in that special place....(hehe)

Deltona Couple's proximity to me keeps interfering with my aura. :lol:

Mixedmedia always has an aura that matches her shoes.

SirLance has over 6000 Beanie Babies in a secret room in the basement. They each have a special name he has bestowed.

OurCrazyModern? eats belly botton lint.

777 has a pet chicken named Drumstick.

mixedmedia enjoys scaring the neighborhood children by hiding in the bushes and screaming like a banshee as they go by.

OCM? harbors a secret yearning for big women slathered in chocolate sauce, while they ride a mechanical bull.

Fremen secretly aspires to be the mechanical bull ridden by big women slathered in chocolate sauce. He hopes they'll wear spurs on their high heels.

SirLance would just like to slather women in chocolate sauce. That's all.

mixedmedia doesn't always check her PMs! (not her PMS... :lol:)

Also, she has a not-so-secret desire to get naked, cover herself in glue and roll around in the precious gem displays in the jewelry district, and run chortling down the street!

Ask me how I know....

sultana knows because she has an eagle eye for mildly repressed cartographic impulses; particularly when they involve slathering and chortling. she also likes to look at the sixth button over on the top of the tfp page - the one that is cozied up between 'chat' and 'new posts.'

Pigglet suffers from medium-intensity jealousy because Halx gives me what I ask for before I even ask for it!!

Sultana isn't human at all - she's a soon-to-be-graduated demi-goddess.:love:

and ocm? holds the diploma in his cloying little fingers...

(I do like chocolate.)

When uncle phil got back from Las Vegas, he had bad dreams about it.

OCM only says that he likes chocolate so that he can fit in with the cool people.

sad to say, 777 wrote the rule book for cool people...including what color saddle shoes to wear for which occasion...

Uncle Phil prefers a nice pair of black-and-white wingtips.

Mixedmedias wingtips match her aura, also. But it's an anal-retentive thing.
(By wingtips I don't mean shoes, angel!)

OCM? is really a labrador retreiver from alpha centauri, disguised as a balding cop in san diego, who is in turn disguised as a TFP'er.

As if I don't wish Labodor Retrievers came from Alpha Centauri!

Sir Lance wants to be made of chocolate

OCM?'s sig is backwards. It should say, "BE FEAR AND JUST NOT"

You can only be yourself even if you suck.

777 is just extrapolating from the numbers he found on his head.

as in the backwards "L" that you have tatooed on your forehead?

(i just couldn't pass that up...)

The L is only backwards from the inside.

uncle phil gets a hard-on every time he sees an alligator. & the escaped pythons and such, OMG! It reaches all the way to Como park.

OCM is stalking me by posting on this thread moments before I do :p

trip-sevens honestly believes that none of us knew...

Uncle Phil shears sheep with a shaman on a ship in Shanghai.

mixedmedia makes more massive metaphoric alliteration!

And, I think she really likes chocolate!

SirLance has a Special Forces blanky.

7^3 ate all the damn tamales.

I ate so much chocolate this weekend that I'm not sure I like it anymore. Maybe 777 was right?

Shalafi likes cumin in more ways than one.

ocm? bathes in ridiculously cold water...

It's just to take the edge off.

After (not too much) counselling, uncle phil was able to admit he spent way too much on the Babs tickets.

Ocm just can't resist trying to haggle with the ice-cream truck driver.

Fremen has a collection of exactly 12,783 hats, approximately. He frequently wears 13 hats simultaneously, but not always. But! he always always always wears a hairnet to bed (a bejeweled one for those extra 'special' nights) and that folks is the true secret of why Fremen has good hair days, except for the days that he has a bad hair day. True story.

Bernadette is the inventor of the ink pop. She thought a popsicle made of ink would just fly off the shelves. They had a trial at the Piggly Wiggly in Poughkeepsie, and she was sued by a group of angry consumers. The court forced her to do their laundry in recompense for the ink stains.

SL has only one left hand...

uncle phil is ambidextrous, but only uses the skill in private.

OCM? is really Portnoy in disguise.

SL also has only one right hand...

Uncle Phil refuses to donate his body to science when he dies because science still owes him for that investment in robot penises he made back in the early '90s. Boy, that one sure didn't pay off, did it?

Mixedmedia has an intensely beautiful view of the world.

What, that wasn't dark enough, or a secret?

oh yes it did!!!


ocm? has the "doubles..."

I thought that was already public.
I bought one of those robot penises, you know!

uncle phil will have to look up who said (i) don't really have any secrets.

ocm? has a collection of his toe nail clippings dating all the way back to the third grade. Amazingly enough this hasn't severely hampered his sex life.

MM is jealous because her collection of toe-jam only goes back to 5th grade.

The bonsai and the taxmen eat them...

Third grade was where mixedmedia discovered she was precocious.

crazy once beheld the image of Fly's naked ass in all its hairy glory, and said, "I didn't know they made those kinds of Chia Pets!".

I molded my own...

Fremen is fluent in every language known to man and then some.

OCM? is a ratttoui freak.

I must own up - unless it doesn't have something to do with vegetables.

Sir Lance loves pheromones, & relies on them for his world-view.

did you really bury the statue of PB in the snow last year?

What? Yes, during that one unusual March snowfall I might've, if I knew what a PB was.
Unclephil poses another puzzle: unclephil shies away from cold because he can't wear sandals in the snow...Or maybe because of experience.

PB would be the statue of Paul Bunyan...


OCB? doesn't know who paul bunyan is...