Ourcrazymodern wears a clip-on. Well, it is more like a strap-on...

Sharon has a snakeskin strap-on collections.

777 has enjoyed my strap-on collection.

Sharon's not as mean as she could be.

Ourcrazymodern? wants Sharon to be meaner to him while wearing a leather catsuit for.....personal reasons.

mixedmodern forgot to add "stockings" to that list and feels really silly about it.

:lol: Sharon likes her garter belts.

Especially on OCM.

Sharon!! (sorry, had an Ozzy moment)

Sharon once spotted a duck dickering with a Dick on a dock, over a clock, that then went on to play in the bay of Mandalay, all the rest of the day.


/stops immulating Suess

Fremen once dallied with his dick in a duck, fingering its feathers cos he fancied a fuck. ;)

Sharon's favorite waterfowl are the larger ones: geese, swans, and especially pelicans.

A bird with a good beak is like a speculum.

Ourcrazymodern likes making a hole in soft fruit to, errrr, extract the juices.

mysharona has become attached to specula that have spent some time in the refrigerator...

Uncle Phil isn't really an uncle.

...What are the odds against that?

Sharon always plays by the rules.

Why thank you dear. OCM loves to be dominated and forced to lick the nipples of pregnant women.

mysharona wishes she were pregnant...

uncle phil wouldn't think so if it was his child

(I have seriously loved licking the nipples of a pregnant woman.)
(At least while they're pregnant they can't get that way again!)
(And now, a pregnant pause.......)

Sharon is really Jesus, come again.

Another bad thought;
Automerged, double-posted,
she might be evil.

OCM's avatar (the bathtub filled with soapy suds) is hiding a body...

Soapsuds can do that.

Share alike actually likes sensations that make her squeal like a pig.

I don't think that's actually a secret - I love anything that makes me squeal!

OCM is stalking SirLance... in fact that's why he's around here so much.

Someone protect me! Where's Jack Bauer?

Sharon & Bob ran off to St. Lucia. I really miss that Bob...

I got your Jack right here: http://www.myspace.com/ctufieldagent

SirLance wants all the Girls with Guns 2007 calanders he can find.

777 is the true number of the beast... but he was so evil that Satan had to settle for 666.

mysharona can place both elbows behind her ears...one at a time, of course...

uncle phil only minces words when he feels like it, and not always then.

OCM? has a shrine to Elvis in his den, which is refered to as, "The King's Castle".

7*3 is jealous because OCM?'s Elvis shrine beats his Pete Best shrine hands down.

All hail the king!

SirLance's "penis issues" are "grounded" in fantasy instead of reality.

Ourcrazymodern can break a wine glass simply by singing a high note.

And smashing it with a hammer.

Well? (The penis issue thing was supposed be a joke...)

Sharon possesses tickets to Winnipeg.

OCM? is intimately familiar with what SL's penis issues!

There! Gotcha!

You don't even want to know about the stuff that SirLance's penis issues.

mysharona has a "knack" for the unknown...

Uncle Fill has actually had his phil of this game.

When Sharon is feeling upset eats shelled sunflower seeds one by one like a little chipmunk. She's still working on the bag she bought three years ago.

Yes that bag frustrates me, no matter what I do there just seems to be more sunflower seeds.

Unbeknownst to me of course, mixedmedia is sneakily filling the bag up when I'm mnot looking... l'il bitch! ;)

<-- actually grateful for the free sunflower seeds!

Sharon keeps marshmallow in her armpits throughout the day. She likes her marshmallows warmed through but not toasted before she consumes them.

(& I thought she could actually toast them there.)

Charlatan is just giving points and not actually keeping a total.

by some quirk of fate, OCM? could be right...

There is no way, I'm never right.

OCM is neither crazy nor modern. OCM is actually quite sane and lives in a quaint house in victorian splendor while maintaining the daily ritual of noon tea and crumpets.

Lady Sage is actually a demoness that lives in that cat with blue-green eyes. She possesses the body of a woman in order to enchant Pan.

Sharon rides around in one of those electric shopping carts just to piss off the old people that have handicapped stickers and take the best parking spaces.

How do they get inside the stores if they use the store's carts???

Fremen has 500 sets of hats in his closet.

777 is currently taking the exam, for the 17th time, to obtain his "00" status.
Good luck 777. This time for sure, man.

Billy figures he should live in Omaha because, umm, well, somebody has to!

paddyjoe has the ability to become semi-transparent, but only when nobody's watching.

OCM? has a pink mohawk...

only on the perineum.

(HEH) uncle phil knows I'm camped on his stoop and he won't answer the door.

Ourcrazymodern? has a head in a bag that tells him when to add more ice.

The bag... or the head?

Giant Hamburger refuses to buy lingerie that could be used to strangle him in his sleep.

SirLance only buys lingerie that could be used to strangle him in his sleep.

Sharon's got tickets to Winnepeg and suitable lingerie on the way(UPS).

Ourcrazymodern is starting to creep me out with this Winnipeg shit. What the hell is in Winnipeg anyway?!

Sharon stood me up at prom for the high school quarterback

By coincidence, JBW has that quarterback's head in a bag. It let's him know when to add more ice.

(an extravagantly lovely young man)

Opportunities in Singapore bore Charlatan.

OCM? Has a crush on Bob, and is secretly envious of Sharon's torrid affair with him.

I miss Bob. The way he'd bring me my paper in the morning, and my slippers in the evening... Sharon, bring Bob home!

I think Sharon has Bob all tied up.

SirLance's pi tastes like spongecake.

Ok, I've had enough of this bullshit. You want the truth?! OCM has Bob hogtied in his basement, and does filthy, filthy things to him every day!

There, I said it. So good to get it off my breasts. Errr, chest.

And nice to have it off there. -thanks.

Bob told me he's pining for (Sharon's) fjord, so I had to untie him...

OCM won an award for the fiddly bits around Norway.

Charlatan holds the prize for the fiddly bits elsewhere.

(Norman Bates, where are you when I need you?)

Sharon slipped in the shower the other day and bruised her coccyx.

OCM? wishes it was his coccyx!

I wish for a lot of things, but a bruised coccyx is not among them.

SirLance and I are going to have a long, hard talk.

hehe...it'll cost ya...

maybe, but not as much as I'd like it to.
(I know I was out of secrets long ago...)
...how much longer do I have to wait out here, sir?

the captain's bars i wore 38 years ago do not count...

Nor my sergeant's stripes, UP. Slightly more recent, a mere 21 years. 3 up and 3 down, baby, and it ain't the end of the inning!

It is my understanding that OCM? wants something long and hard from SirLance, and the Unc wants the pictures!

Since you have all the necessary equipment in your "rec" room, all is well!

ocm?'s rec room has pulleys and chains in it...

unc pill uses the rec room for unnatural practices with Ocm?'s sleeper jammies.

I would say that Fremen has never read Dune but that's not really a secret anymore... No, the real secret that Fremen cannot tell the world without losing face is that he still has a hair cut based on his favourite musician, Vanilla Ice (but sadly, unlike mister ice, Fremen still has the style from the early 90s).

Fremen is a corruption of fresh and semen.

Sharon has trouble following the order of play. This not ordinarily anything more than a mocking offence but in Sharon's case, it all stems from a very bad Wednesday morning in kindergarten.

Charlatan has a riding lawnmower, but he has no lawn.

... because SirLance firebombed it.

Sharon's avatar is actually a picture of Sharon. Her mother *warned* her that if she kept making that face it would stay that way.

So is Charlatan's... except in his case, he bit his thumb and has never been able to get his teeth out again.

mysharona has a pic of orson on her nightstand...

Phil has Orson's heart under his floor boards. It tell's tales if you listen closely.

Charlatan doesn't understand that women will never, EVER find ukeleles sexy.

Except mixedmedia. ;)

Sharon has a tattoo of novelty artist, Tiny Tim on her left buttock. She likes to tip toe through the tulips.

(I licked it and licked it and no flowers came (up)!)

Charlatan's tattoos are all of Disney characters.

crazy, modern Disney characters, that (hopefully) wash off before that big job interview...

uncle_phil likes to get up in the middle of the night and stare at his neighbour's house. It isn't because his neighbour is a hotty or anything like that, rather he just really likes the styling of their front door.

One day he will get the nerve to knock on it, but the timing has to be right. One does not lay hands on such beauty without taking some time to consider it.

Charlatan finds poking bee hives and wasp's nests with sticks great fun.

Medusa films Charlie while he's misbeehiving, then calls Animal Rescue and complains about all the bad puns in the neighborhood.

Fremen constantly preaches "be a do-bee, not a don't-bee", yet he continually sticks his bubble gum under his neighbors kitchen table!

pj has a huge collection of used bubble gum.

The lights were on, the cameras rolling, when suddenly SirLance had second thoughts...

OCM likes to wear his Rodney Rhino Garanaimals with his Louie Lion Garanimals cause he thinks it makes him look cool and rebellious.

mixedmedia makes paintings with her breasts. In and of itself this isn't too weird. The reason she keeps it a secret is that she mails them anonymously to politicians. She includes a note, "Don't be such a boob."

I know. She's a freak.

Charlatan's been thinking of entering politics for no reason other than getting one of my boob pictures.

mixed thinks Charlie's man-boobs would make a good companion for Bundy's mangina.

(I miss Bundy now)