SirLance is a bad mutha! SHUT YO MOUTH! I'm only talkin' 'bout SirLance. THEN WE CAN DIG IT!

And nobody understands him but his woman.

pop has it bad, and that ain't good...

Uncle Phil is so lame that when he replied to this thread, people stopped posting...

BigBen is SOOOOOO Big


'How big is he!"


He's so big that people often mistake him for a bus, and try to board him!

SirLance meant to enter the user name of "ParLance", but got distracted as he attempted to board BigBen.

Sultana is secretly practicing tap dancing in the basement.

Kramus is secretly hoping to be Sultana's Ginger Rogers to her Fred Astaire- he's hoping those tapand ballet lessons his momma made him take as a child will finally pay off. (and he looks delightful in chiffon too)

Maleficent claims not to like chocolate. However, not only does she love chocolate, she actually is the president of the nestle corporation and uses her 'hater' front as a marketing strategy.

she has a permanent zit on her left shoulderblade...

I can't believe how gorgeous shesus is.

Oh wait, this is secret revealing time. OK...shesus likes to give internet makeovers to unwilling match.commers...

Un huh, too slow to post properly!

Uncle Phil is not so secretely in love...with himself!

The forum title 'psycho' originated from Sultana.

Mojo rubs his ass on various surfaces whenever he visits his neighbor's house.

Freman rubs his ass on any creature too slow to run away. Several states are considering legislation opposed to this, variously entitled "Save the Box Turtle" and "Freedom from Fremen." United Slugs International is a major "grass roots" sponsor.

Elphaba is a political extremist gaining popularity with her "Anit-Ass" compaign.

MojoRisin is the person behind the cocunter who insists you call a large, a "grande".

Poppinjay runs up behind golfers on the tee box, yells "FORE!" and runs away, giggling hysterically. Several golf courses have banned him, but he does it anyway.

Sir Lance's handicap (in golf) is 74.

His handicap in life, coincidentally, is also 74.... :hmm:

As a pillow, BB rests his head every night on a watermelon.
He's had his current one for 6 weeks.

fremen does things to watermelon of which I am not allowed to speak - let's just say - i wouldn't have fruit salad at fremen's place of residence...

Ms. M has a black site where attention sluts, whiners and the perpetually narcissistic are held indefinately. I know this to be true because I recently escaped through the coal shute.

Elph invariably gravitates to the left lane while driving because of all the leaning and hand "signaling" she does out the window.

Fremen is often the recipient of such gestures; he enjoys tail gating, driving under the speed limit in the fast lane, and jaywalking in busy streets.

Medusa secretly aspires to be on "Dancing with the Stars"

SirLance secretly wants to be on "Skating with Celebrities".

fre, thanks for your latest order of those bottomless sleeper jammies...

I just can't bring myself to tell you how Uncle Phil needed to be resupplied with bottomless sleeper jammies. Needless to say, PETA is protesting on his sidewalk.

Elphaba is the head of PETA's Gray Area Team. She goes in when there is a need for - um - moral flexibility. Some ex-pet owners are really, truly exed.

What you can't see in Kramus's Avatar, is that he's standing on the roof of a building, holding a high powered rifle with a laser targeting scope on it. He goes up there every morning before work to "relax".

fresnelly knows this because he's been stalking charlie for the past few years...(hey charlie, remember that guy we saw sitting on the bench under the tree by the 7th tee box in rochester? that was fresnelly...)

Uncle Phil shaves strokes.... and that's not all he shaves...

SirLan skies downhill using an ironing board.
He missed the Olympics by that <---> much.

Fremen likes to go grocery shopping just so he can say, "Nicely packed, bag boy."

JJ likes to take pictures of naked (and beautiful i might add) women.



*the lucky bastard that he is*

Flyman is the president of Lichtenstein.

PoppinJay once testified before a Grand Jury about his involvement in an elaborate "Male Escort" scam. He was granted immunity for testifying, but the poor folks at the recycling depot are still in counseling.

Ben once attempted to eat a mailbox while visiting Niagra Falls.

I got indigestion from the love letter SirLance sent Richard Simmons. He put too much cologne on the pages.

Indigeston? More like jealousy! Besides, that cologne was guaranteed not to cause stomach upset!

Don't let him fool you. Ben hungers for all paper products, not just letters.

The gap toothed lady at the mini-mart told me she dated SirLance back in the early '80s, and he's fussy about his underpants.

It's true, and those gaps came in handy, baby!

Pop is the originator of the Apple Pie concept touted in the American Pie movies. Never eat any apple pie Pop has been alone with.

SirLance hula-hoops to and from his mailbox every day.

Fre likes to get jiggy wit it.............


how's the parachute pants doin' lately Fre.......pick up any chicks?

During a severe case of the munchies flyman once ate 30 Quizno's subs at once.

ono dresses up as Mr. Spock every Cinco de Mayo and does the Vulcan Hat dance.

Fremen follows her around begging for the mind meld.

PoppingJay has a unique ability to post to this thread immediately before me, forcing me to reveal more and more secrets about her (ooops. Sorry JAY.)

In other news, the saddle used in the filming of Brokeback Mountain was hand-stitched by PoppinJay while he was on day parole.

With Ben acting as the model. After the film, he ate the saddle...

SirLance negotiates high priced contracts daily, with Donald Trump.
He searches the world over for orangutan hair for the Donald's wigs.

Freman is so mean he just shot a man just for snoring.

The Jazz has had his forefingers stuck in Chinese handcuffs since he was in elementary school. He has become very adept at typing with just his pinkies.

Medusa has earned a fortune selling fake Lance Armstrong bracelets. Instead of giving the proceeds to cancer research, the profits are given to Taco Bell, in an effort to create a better guacamole

BB smears guacamole in his underwear on Saturday nights and asks the ladies at the bar if they want dip for their chips.

fre, that new pair that was on backorder is finally in the mail for ya', buddy...

Uncle Phil's obsession with sleeper jammies hits new heights when he launches the international sleeper-jammies conference... three attend: Phil, Fre, and Fly...

SirLance is overwhelmed by his successful and undetected removal of "souvenir" buttons from the trapdoors of said jammies - while they were being worn by the attendees.

kramus believes taking pictures of our opened sleeper jammie trapdoors would shame us into staying home, but he seems to've forgotten "it's all about the ass, bay-bee!"
Improvised trapdoor!

fre, man, you snap that pic all by your lonesome? have a little woody growin' outta them jammies? huh?

Google it, if you don't believe me. Unc is into the dark side of jammies. NSFW.

Elphaba is gathering enough material so she can open up a pj museum. Her first entry will be a pair of her favorite footie jammies with heart buttons on the drop seat.

Shesus believes that a pinch of translucent silk is more than enough material for pajamas.

kramus had a chance to purchase a pair, personally signed by me, in rochester this past summer but declined due to the fact that his hands were tied up un MEGA-rolls of toilet paper...

There are times when Uncle Phil loses his humanity :hmm:

O god - the visual . . . :lol:

kramus and uncle phil washed each others' balls at the ckin' clubhouse last summer.

Fremen was the freelance towel boy at that washing. His cheery voice asking "Pat your balls, sir?" is oft-heard at golf courses and bus stations alike.

kramus graduated Oftus Cum Loude at the local Catholic girls school.

pop didn't ask a question in his last post in the "interview" thread...(it's true, i swear to rudy...)

Phil is the inventor of everclear.

...and i distilled it from your saliva... :lol:

uncle p likes to stuff currency down his sleeper jammies so he can get the whole "stripper" experience down pat.

Fremen stalked Sigmund the Seamonster. When he found out it was a costumed character, he stalked Scotty and Johnny. Now Sigmund the seamonster and Scotty and Johnny are dead.

Poppinjay is addicted to vidalia onions. He eats 'em for every meal, smokes 'em in his pipe, and -- this is really disgusting -- carves them into sex toys!

Sir Lance secretly wishes his ears were hairier and fatter, and he wishes he could get international recognition for them, or at least be on the Guiness Book Of Records TV show.

Daoust is twenty-seven years old and was raised in a strong two parent home.
He lives in Canada and cannot fluently speak french.

He is an avid television watcher - he is a fan of Scrubs, Survivor, and Lost. He also watches quite a few movies, Requim for a Dream struck a deep chord in him. He also watches football, and is learning to play guitar. He is a fan of Sarah Harmer and a self proclaimed "Dead Head." He also has strong opinions when it comes to politics and religion.

He owns a Toyota Echo, and got into an accident with it near Christmas. He didn't want to purchase the vehicle, but his wife did.

He as a little girl and has another child on the way. He believes in spanking his children.

He works part time as an public elementary school teacher, and feels as though he's a failure because he isn't able to fully support his family.

He is married, but thinks about cheating on his wife constantly. He has had sex both in a car and outside. When he has an orgasm, he is quiet. His wife will not have anal sex with him. He seldom thinks about his wife when he as sex with her.

It is possible, perhaps likely, that he is addicted to porn. He looks at it at work often, even though if he is caught it may cost him his job.

Some people may also view him as hypocritical, as his pet peeve is people that worry about offending others too much, says that he is callous, but then has issues with other people utilizing the word "retarded" on someone who is, in fact, retarded.

Those aren't deep or dark secrets... except that I'm addicted to porn.


NoSoup spends 23.5 hours a day researching information about Daoust.

daoust was born in newfoundland...

uncle p tried out for the role of Ty Webb in Caddyshack back in the late 70's, but he kept getting offered the role of Carl Spackler instead.
He said, "Nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh....."

Fremen, however, played the groundhog. He had to have massive reconstructive surgery to fit the costume.

SirLance is really a rhemus monkey who escaped from a lab, posing as a human internet user.

arielkitten is repsonsible for a third of the world's morning wood.

Poppinjay applied for the positon of "fluffer" at the ski jump competition in Torino.

...and sirlance thinks the word "fluffer" means someone who fluffs up the snow for the downhill racers...

uncle p knows the real definition, because of his use of several fluffers in his porno days back in the 70's.

fremen has a fetish for 70's porn featuring uncle phil.

arie sneaks up to OK for a little "action" on alternate weekends...

...however, Phil ran out of viagra and Arie couldn't get no satisfaction...

the lance feeds viagra to stray dogs just to see what they do afterwards...

You know the "funny" uncle that Ann Landers used to refer to as a euphamism for pedophile?

That's all I'm saying about that.

Pop couldn't find the backflap in his pair of sleeper jammies.

...'cause fre cut off the buttons...('ckin' sadist...)

Uncle phil's dream job is to "help" donkey's with blue balls get over there blue stage. He collects the biproduct to make milk shakes to take to church parties.

Dragonknight likes to dress transgender and dance up and down the aisles of city buses.

SirLance suspects his johnson of fucking behind his back.

fre is...still, just...fre...

Super moderator phil would love to moderate Fremen, but only while he's naked.

joe likes to have his buddies mothers give him a little tappy-tap on his backside.

flyman collects troll dolls.

pop still doggy-paddles in the pool...

Phil loves doggy-style with his doggie!

SirLance wraps his lance in plastic wrap every night at bedtime.

Fremen watches America's Most Wanted just to see where he is on the list.