Tophats idols are, in no particular order Charlie Pride, James K. Polk, and tennis great Michael Chang.

Daoust hates when his neighborhood watch keeps him from his nightly "tours".

Fre still plays w/ the penis bong.

and the funny thing is,he doesn't even smoke pot.

Flyman likes to sit out late at night and tell all his secrets to his horse. Sadly, the horse usually sleeps through it all.

Charlatan has a vast bug collection that he is obsessed with. His collection of thousands of insects, all have names and biographies where he keeps filed alphabetically. His favorite is a catepillar, named John Rasenback Jr., son of of the late John Rasenback Sr.

Johnny Pyro is a milkman, but not just any normal kind of milkman, nosiree!

Mr. Pyro sneaks into homes at night, steals the milk and puts it back in the cows. How he accomplishes this last act is something even too dastardly a secret to reveal.

JumpinJesus enjoys getting naked, slathering his body in milk of magnesia and then standing on his balcony screaming, "But I'm good for upset stomachs!"

Charlatan has chronic upset stomachs.

JumpinJesus tried to come to my place and do his Milk of Magnesia dance on the street outside my house... Thankfully they stopped him at the border.

the border...hehe...it shoulda been charlie...hehe...

Uncle Phil is a vegetarian. And he likes brussel sprouts.

Kramus claims he lives in an attic in Canada. It's the truth, I assure you, but besides just himself, he also keep the bodies of his victims next to him up there. Creepy, I know, but I mean look at that picture of him. Don't tell me that doesn't make your spine shiver.

shazbotus, from what i have come to understand, is one of the Gorillaz....

bettaa secretes a pheromone that attracts people with low IQ's and mullets.

Fremen still lives with his parents and at a special time every day his Mother turns the channel to his favourite TV show. When Fremen hears the theme music he drops what ever he is doing at the time and come running to the TV gleefully shouting, "Barney!!! I love you!!!"

Charlatan is actually Redlemon. He created the alter-ego to vent about politics and the government on this board without losing his job at CSIS.

Oh, and it was him that left those secret documents in the back of his car at the Leafs hockey game.

Oh, and he's a Leaf's fan.

You monster. :|

BigBen talks too much...

Expect the midnight knock on the door... CSIS takes care of its own.

Charlatan loves getting attention so much that he enoys driving like a fool and getting flipped off.

shesus is the failed experiment of 30 years worth of experimental plastic surgery.

You ever walk down the street in any city or town and see those really old smashed up blackened flattened wads of gum on the sidewalk?

bettaa does a lot of traveling and a lot of chewing.

JumpinJesus is real crazy uncle (that noone talks about) of rock 'n' roll.

Charlatan hasn't slept in over 3 months because of his addiction to TFP.

ohh_shesus is co-dependant... she has a fixation with spending all her cash on bottles of Milk of Magnesia and she can't avoid spending all her time on the TFP.

Charlatan is vigorously at work in his basement laboratory in search of the perfect recipe for Milk of Magnesia that will enable him to entice certain members of the TFP to voyage to Toronto for a private dance.

The border guards have already been bribed accordingly.

JumpinJ used to take his seat off his bicycle, grease the seat pole, and go to town.

Fremen dreams of a day when he will own all the noodz...

or maybe it was kramus...

phil hankers for the good old days of playing his 8-track tapes, while watching couples make out next to him at the drive-in.

Fremen dreams of being an 8-track in Phil's collection just so he can feel loved... is that so wrong?

Charlatan's home is filled with "Murder She Wrote" memorabilia. Its kinda creepy.

JP covets the slot that Phil sticks his 8 track into. The slot is bigger than the one that his CD player has.

Astro used his connection to Al Gore's cousin to get a free chocolate cake at KFC.

Fremen sneaks into the hershey factory at night and swims in the vats.

sirlance has to make it through each and every day being...sirlance...

phil has constant hankerin's for a hunk of cheese...

He hankers for a hunka
Slab or slice or chunka
He hankers for a hunka cheese!

Charlie likes to get on his "Bad Motor Scooter" and ride........



BAD MOTOR SCOOTER

If you get lonely on your daddy's farm
Just remember I don't live too far.
And there's a red bridge that arcs the bay, yeah
You'll be at my place in less that a day.

So get on your bad motor scooter and ride
Up over to my place and stay all night.
First thing in the morning we'll be feeling all right
Get on your bad motor scooter and ride.

Ooh, the last I seen your face
I swore that no one would take your place.
Now since you've been gone I've been feelin' bad, yeah
I'd come out to your place (but)
I'm afraid of your dad. So you...

So get on your bad motor scooter and ride
Up over to my place and stay all night.
First thing in the morning we'll be feeling all right
Get on your bad motor scooter and ride

Ride, ride, ride.
Come on baby, ooh yeah.
Crank it on up!

flyman eats a box of pink coconut snowballs every day

Lurkette has a vast collection of Furbys...

She drives Ratbastid crazy by asking him to wait in the living room while she strokes and pets them and teaches them how to evolve into loving, caring and sharing friends.

Charlatan sells his body to make money to buy himself a gold tooth with a diamond in it.

Lurkette memorizes the ingredients in Sugar Crisp cereal and tries to use those words in every day conversations...