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08-03-2003, 06:26 PM
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#166 (permalink) |
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Eccentric insomniac
Location: North Carolina
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hehe, thanks.
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"Socialism is a philosophy of failure, the creed of ignorance, and the gospel of envy, its inherent virtue is the equal sharing of misery." - Winston Churchill "All men dream: but not equally. Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds wake in the day to find that it was vanity: but the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act out their dream with open eyes, to make it possible." Seven Pillars of Wisdom, T.E. Lawrence |
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08-04-2003, 09:17 PM
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#175 (permalink) |
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Upright
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Q. Did you here about the guy who drowned in his muesli?
A. A strong current pulled him in. Q: Why did Mickey Mouse divorce Minnie Mouse? A: Because she was fucking Goofy Q: How did the farmer find his sheep in the long grass? A: Very satifying Q: Whats green and smells like pork? A: Kermits finger Last edited by JadziaDax; 08-26-2003 at 10:07 PM.. |
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08-06-2003, 12:38 PM
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#183 (permalink) |
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strangelove
Location: ...more here than there...
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ok, it made me giggle too.
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- + - ° GiRLie GeeK ° - + - ° 01110010011011110110111101110100001000000110110101100101 Therell be days/When Ill stray/I may appear to be/Constantly out of reach/I give in to sin/Because I like to practise what I preach
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08-12-2003, 07:04 PM
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#192 (permalink) |
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Upright
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OK Something to make up for that last one...
GREAT ONE-LINERS... 1) My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God and I didn't! 2) I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it. 3) I Work Hard Because Millions On Welfare Depend on Me! 4) Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them. 5) I used to have a handle on life, but it broke. 6) Don't take life too seriously; no one gets out alive. 7) You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me. 8) Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder. 9) Earth is the insane asylum for the universe. 10) Quoting one is plagiarism; quoting many is research. 11) I'm not a complete idiot -- some parts are missing. 12) Out of my mind. Back in five minutes. 13) NyQuil, the stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck-is-the-room-spinning medicine. 14) God must love stupid people; he made so many. 15) The gene pool could use a little chlorine. 16) It IS as BAD as you think, and they ARE out to get you. 17) Consciousness: that annoying time between naps. 18) Ever stop to think, and forget to start again? 19) MOP AND GLOW - Floor wax used by Three Mile Island cleanup team. 20) Being "over the hill" is much better than being under it! 21) Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew up. 22) Procrastinate Now! 23) My Dog Can Lick Anyone. 24) I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts; Do You Want Fries With That? 25) FAILURE IS NOT AN OPTION. It comes bundled with the software. 26) A hangover is the wrath of grapes. 27) A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance. 28) STUPIDITY IS NOT A HANDICAP. Park elsewhere! 29) They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken. 30) He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless dead. 31) A PICTURE IS WORTH A THOUSAND WORDS, but it uses up three thousand times the memory. 32) HAM AND EGGS - A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig. 33) The trouble with life is there's no background music. 34) The original point and click interface was a Smith and Wesson |
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08-16-2003, 02:33 AM
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#198 (permalink) |
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Casual... Real Casual
Location: Orstraylia
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Man goes to fancy dress party, wearing nothing but a jam jar on his penis.
A lady asked what he is, he says fireman... break glass, pull knob, I’ll come as fast as I can! HHAAAAA!!!!!!!!! "A TV may insult your intelligence, but nothing rubs it in like a computer!" "Women say they feel more comfortable undressing in front of men than they do undressing in front of other women. They say that women are too judgmental, whereas, of course, men are just grateful.” “In the last couple of months I have seen the ads for the Wonder Bra. Is that really a problem in the world? Men not paying enough attention to women’s breasts?”
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"And you run and you run to catch up with the sun but it's sinking.
Racing around to come up behind you again. The sun is the same in a relative way but your older, shorter of breath, and one day closer to death" ...pink floyd Last edited by JadziaDax; 08-26-2003 at 10:11 PM.. |
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08-17-2003, 09:40 PM
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#200 (permalink) |
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Insane
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Whats the difference?
Dont know if this ones been posted here before but here goes.
Whats the difference between a smart midget and a vaginal disease? Ones a cunning runt and the other's a running cunt.
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The Vagina - the mysterious hole from whence you came, and into which you hope to cum again. Good Times |
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| liners, qanda |
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