|
08-18-2003, 02:46 AM
|
#203 (permalink) |
|
Casual... Real Casual
Location: Orstraylia
|
I AGREE!!!!!!!
__________________
"And you run and you run to catch up with the sun but it's sinking.
Racing around to come up behind you again. The sun is the same in a relative way but your older, shorter of breath, and one day closer to death" ...pink floyd |
|
|
08-18-2003, 08:50 AM
|
#206 (permalink) | |
|
I run E.
Location: New York
|
Quote:
What's the difference between an epileptic oyster and a whore with diarrhea? One you shuck between fits...
__________________
I hold with those that favor fire. |
|
|
|
|
08-21-2003, 10:34 AM
|
#211 (permalink) |
|
Insane
Location: Milwaukee
|
From Bob and Tom this morning:
What's the last thing a drummer says when he's in a band? Hey fellas, I wrote a couple of songs... How do roadies know the stage is level? There's drool coming out of both side of the drummers mouth. And one from somewhere else: How do you get a base player off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.
__________________
Don't blame me... *I* voted for Kodos! |
|
|
|
08-21-2003, 10:31 PM
|
#212 (permalink) |
|
bad craziness
Location: Guelph, Ontario
|
dont know if it's been used yet but a favorite of mine is still
2 guys walk into a bar, it's kinda funny, you'd think the second one would have seen it coming.
__________________
"it never got weird enough for me." - Hunter S. Thompson |
|
|
|
08-26-2003, 01:08 PM
|
#219 (permalink) |
|
Searching for the perfect brew!
|
Tony Randel(Felix Unger from tv's The Odd Couple) told this on the Jhonny Carson Show about 25 years ago.
Q: What's the difference between a stick-up and a hold-up? A: Age
__________________
"That's a joke... I say, that's a joke, son" |
|
|
|
08-29-2003, 05:48 AM
|
#230 (permalink) |
|
Redwing fan extraordinaire
Location: Michigan
|
now this is small.....
My friends and I were talking about our sex lives..... when It came to names for things.... I told the fellas that my wife calls her pussy.... Miss wiskers..... They all laugh. Then one says "my wife calls hers YET ........ she is always asking "is it in YET?"
__________________
Its good to be back. |
|
|
|
08-30-2003, 11:25 PM
|
#234 (permalink) |
|
Psycho
Location: cali
|
these might be risque, but i heard them today. they aren't exactly racial, but nowadays, it takes very little to offend anyone. if it offends anyone, i'm sorry. pm me and i'll remove it.
Q. What do you call a mexican who got his car stolen? A. Car-los Q. What do you call 2 mexicans playing basketball? A. Juan-on-Juan Q. What do you call a mexican with no car? A. Juaquin oh yeah, these jokes were told to me by a mexican friend. plus i didn't find it too offensive as it is only a play on their names. |
|
|
|
09-02-2003, 03:27 PM
|
#236 (permalink) |
|
Upright
|
There are two sides to every divorce: Yours and shithead's
"How come we choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America?" Ever notice that people who spend money on beer, cigarettes, and lottery tickets are always complaining about being broke and not feeling well? Isn't having a smoking section in a restaurant like having a peeing section in a swimming pool? Every time I walk into a singles bar I can hear Mom's wise words: "Don't pick that up, you don't know where it's been." To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little._____ To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all The closest I ever got to a 4.0 in college was my blood alcohol content. Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex? Mace will do that to you. |
|
|
|
09-02-2003, 03:28 PM
|
#237 (permalink) |
|
Upright
|
1. If you throw a cat out a car window does it become kitty liter?
2. If corn oil comes from corn, where does baby oil come from? 3. How did a fool and his money get together? 4. How do they get a deer to cross at that yellow road sign? 5. If it's tourist season, why can't we shoot them? 6. What's another word for thesaurus? 7. Why do they sterilize the needles for lethal injections? 8. What do they use to ship styrofoam? 9. Why is abbreviation such a long word? 10. Why is there an expiration date on my sour cream container? 11. Why did kamikaze pilots wear helmets? 12. Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny? 13. When you choke a smurf, what color does it turn? 14. Does fuzzy logic tickle? 15. Why do they call it a TV set when you only get one? 16. What was the best thing before sliced bread? 17. "Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted." 18. If a book about failures doesn't sell, is it a success? 19. Do cemetery workers prefer the graveyard shift? 20. What do you do when you see an endangered animal that eats only endangered plants? 21. Do hungry crows have ravenous appetites? 22. Is it possible to be totally partial? 23. If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages? 24. Would a fly without wings be called a walk? 25. Why do steam irons have a permanent press setting? 26. Can you be a closet claustrophobic? 27. Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them? 28. Why do people who know the least know it the loudest? 29. If the funeral procession is at night, do folks drive with their lights off? 30. If a stealth bomber crashes in a forest, will it make a sound? 31. If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked? 32. When it rains, why don't sheep shrink? 33. Should vegetarians eat animal crackers? 34. If the cops arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent? 35. Why is the word abbreviation so long? 36. When companies ship Styrofoam, what do they pack it in? 37. If you're cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right? |
|
|
| Tags |
| liners, qanda |
|
|
