Wrong, your monkey spanks you.

Ducks float

I love it when my monkey spanks me :D

and Mad_Gecko, Im sorry to tell you that you are wrong. Ducks are denser than water and therefore sink.

I'm the official village idiot in qpid's liberation army

nope, you're just a plain old idiot.

My chain got yanked today.

Your chain did not get yanked... it got pulled

hanging out at TFP makes me a less productive person :D

wrong...hanging out on tfp makes you a NON-productive person...


led zeppelin is oft-times confused with a heavy dirigible...

WRONG! led zeppelin is often confused with being "relative" or "good".

Everything after the Black album has been pure shit for Metallica.

INCORRECTAMONDO...It was the WHITE Album...and it was the BEATLES.




Farts are like snowflakes, each one is unique.

sorry, snowflakes are like fingerprints, farts are like in-laws.




pie isn't square, pie are round, cornbread r squared

pie is square and cornbread r round, you just don't know your shapes.

When coffee passes my lips, I start to wake up.

You're not even drinking coffee. That's just dirty tea.

Gangsters don't dance, they boogie!

Nope, the caffeine doesn't take effect until it seeps into your brain.

No matter where you go, there you are.

wrong, if I shoot my Tommy gun at a gangsters feet and tell him to dance he WILL dance.

Blondes have more fun.

Masturbating while staring directly at the sun will make you go blind. Since you never said that masturbation will not cause you to go blind, just that it would not make you go blind, basically if you lost your vision for any reason while in the act of masturbation, then YOU'RE WRONG!

There is no letter F in the Vietnamese language.

Wrong, they picked up "wanna fuckie" during Vietnam.

pain hurts

wrong...extreme pleasure hurts...


crows sit on electric wires...

Umm, NO. I see a crow outside of my window right now and it's sitting on a wooden fence, not an electric wire.


I am horny.

Wrong, those are antlers.


Time is of the essence.

wrong. time is actually a magazine.

there were no woman picked in the nfl draft this year

Wrong, several selections were made with the first name of Stacey.

Compasses point to magnetic north.

WRONG!!! compasses point at whatever magnetic field is attacting them... hold a magnet by your damn compass and tell me where north is! i dare you!!!


cellular phones are a useful addition to the everyday tools of american society.

Wrong, cell phones are a useful addition to the idiot at the sporting event whose friends call him up and say "your on t.v., wave!" Everyone hates that guy.


Friends don't let friends drive drunk.

Happens all the time ...that's how my gramma died....(i'm not kidding) :(


I plugged in a refridgerator today.

nope, it was a freezer

i went for my first bike ride of the year today

no you didn't...you don't know how to ride a bike.

shootin' guns is a blast.

Wrong! Shooting guns would be a blast but they move to fast.

Monty Python is funny!

wrong, monty python is 'ckin' hilarious...


jeeps have 4-wheel drive...

Wrong! Jeeps only have two wheel drive, they just make you pay for four!

Naked girls are great!

Naked women are great, naked girls will get you in jail.

Today is just another day.

Sorry, but today is the greatest... day I've ever known. Can't wait for tomorrow, tomorrow's much too long.

Smashing Pumpkins are lyrically pedestrian.

wrong, smashing pumpkins is america's second favorite pastime, after drinking beer at a football game and before baseball...


dead men tell no tales...

wrong, they do once the necromancer raises them as zombies...

clearing brush blows

/edit

Not if you're drinking a brewski and just watching it all happen.






Full throttle is kinda scarey.

WRONG!! not if your car's max speed is under 10km/h


I can read

Can you read this?
[IMG]http://groups.msn.com/_Secure/0QADjAo0T44LeQVC7q6VjYkp62H*XmVh8L0Z8ldfAqDH32Oaatprw4XIBns7*5*TUMf02KlR8YxBw1Xg6f8vJcnOA2BnGZDs7qo7jAhxwNxk/joyogirl.jpg?dc=4675419741639264886[/IMG]

Water falls from the sky.

ever heard of taps..........duh

chinee peepoe have goo sexx

no no goo peepoe have chinee sexx.

winning is everything.

hey loser....ever heard of just havin' fun

beer tastes great after a long day at work

Actually, beer only tastes great after a hard day at work. length has nothing to do with it.


After drinking many bottles of soy sauce, you can pilot a concession stand bound for the moon.

Wrong! that only works with worchestershire sauce.


When the wind is from the west, that's when fishing's the best

Bullshit, when there's no wind the fishing's the best. That way, your line doesn't blow away, and the fish don't run cause of the wind.


The CD Everything You Ever Wanted To Know About Silence by Glassjaw is the only CD ever to use the words "fucking whore" over 20 times.