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-   -   Giant Hamburger's deepest, darkest secret (and no it isn't his sauce) (https://thetfp.com/tfp/tilted-fun-zone/82899-giant-hamburgers-deepest-darkest-secret-no-isnt-his-sauce.html)

Ourcrazymodern? 09-16-2007 05:54 AM

Of course, it's his sauce.

Charlatan 10-17-2007 07:09 AM

1 Attachment(s)
http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pi...3&id=659350302

Interestingly, this is the profile pic on facebook for one of my best friends.
I think she would make a good match for GH.

Giant Hamburger 10-17-2007 09:06 AM

I want Mrs. GH to wear an outfit like that
but that's no secret.

I could also desperately use right now a large tentacle with a pincher on the end.

Ourcrazymodern? 10-17-2007 03:06 PM

Or a reach-around?

Giant Hamburger 10-18-2007 07:49 AM

I will now add that to the list of things to do when I get my large tentacle with a pincher on the end.

The first one's for free!

Fly 10-18-2007 09:19 AM

dude...........they just saved a 7 pound lobster...........maybe you could borrow his massive left claw.


would that work?


lobsters grow them back no?

Ourcrazymodern? 10-18-2007 01:22 PM

Lobster squeaks on my teeth.

The cephalopods I can eat.

Charlatan 11-27-2007 03:28 AM

1 Attachment(s)
How Burgers are Made

Giant Hamburger 11-28-2007 05:28 PM

There is magic in a cow that can only be unlocked by inscrutable grindings.

Charlatan 11-29-2007 06:17 AM

...and little blue-hatted fairies.

Giant Hamburger 11-29-2007 12:23 PM

Sometimes, in the dark morning, before the sun warms up the day I can hear the inscrutable grindings of little blue-hatted fairies in the attic.

I dare not go up there and see what can not be unseen.

Charlatan 12-06-2007 05:45 AM

What's the high score?

http://www.crazykong.com/cabs/burger...ScreenPicB.jpg

ring 12-07-2007 04:09 PM

I could be a new and improved (not radiated or gbh'd)
ingrediant. unsulphered of course.

ssshhh....don't tell..it is a long kept secret...guys will make passes,
at gals who cook with molasses.

So much for the sauce idea.

Giant Hamburger 12-10-2007 07:38 PM

Hail Ring!

Save your molasses for the OCTODOG!
http://www.thegreenhead.com/imgs/octodog-2.jpg
I don't really know what that means

ring 12-12-2007 06:12 PM

There is a flourishing black market in nose hairs of bovinity.

Giant Hamburger 12-12-2007 06:51 PM

The thread fills with the blue smoke of black cilia
As we puff and hoosh a bowl of crackling bovinity
Our wyrd will spare us if we remain undoomed and courage strong

ring 12-12-2007 07:03 PM

I gotta sneeze now
when I open my eyes
what queen of parallel will hound me?

Giant Hamburger 12-13-2007 03:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ring
what queen of parallel will hound me?

http://img.groundspeak.com/waymarkin...25d41b17d3.jpg
A giant queen!

ring 12-13-2007 05:00 PM

check
matie.

I will be forever your sauteed mini-onion
I am paper trained.

Charlatan 12-13-2007 05:10 PM

I think I might be in love.

Fly 12-13-2007 05:24 PM

thanks alot Charlie............


*feels like a measly french fry*

Ourcrazymodern? 12-13-2007 05:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ring
check
matie.

I will be forever your sauteed mini-onion
I am paper trained.

Ah-hah!

I am not.

ring 12-15-2007 02:07 PM

when the bovines are prostrate,
it will rain.
when not, it won't.
black and white thinking happens,
where is my jersey,
time to suit up.

Giant Hamburger 01-03-2008 01:56 PM

My newest secret is my littlest finger...
It is weak and misguided.
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v1...bentfinger.jpg
I fear it will betray me.
Should I cut it off and wear it around my neck?

ring 01-03-2008 04:14 PM

It might have a point..
would it still be functional as a dousing tool around your neck?

This is serious..so give it no thought whatsoever.

Charlatan 01-03-2008 04:32 PM

Perhaps it is not weak and misguided. Perhaps it is just stronger than your other flanges and points true.

Perhaps it is trying to tell you something that your weaker fingers cannot (or dare not).

"Ask not at whom the fickle finger points. The finger points at you."

Giant Hamburger 01-15-2008 01:27 PM

My finger points to the truth!

It's no longer a secret and has been replaced by a new one...RATS!

They now flourish in my attic.

After consulting with the very expensive experts on rat warfare I have concluded that I will conduct the distasteful police action on my own.

Certainly there will be a period of violence when I lose myself in the dusty jungle of my attic. Heavily laden with snap traps, my peanut butter painted face will hardly be recognizable to my loved ones as they avert their wide-eyed gaze from my blood-stained necklace of ears on a cord woven from the severed tails of furry terrorists.

Feel free to give me your suggestions as how to successfully accomplish my mission. I hope that soon we shall drink wine together from the tiny chisel-toothed skulls of my hated enemy.

THERE WILL BE BLOOD!
(and possibly pics)

ring 01-16-2008 10:01 AM

I have 'Special' cats
that have only eaten the meat of hellhounds,
whose sole diet consists of horehound candy,lime jello and Tang.

They live with my mother.

They juggle nicely.

Fly 01-16-2008 10:23 AM

GH.........my labs are rodent killers............it moves in,but it never gets out alive.


i have sent them in my mothers house.........and they were both victorious.


might i lend them to you?

Giant Hamburger 01-16-2008 11:15 AM

Ahoy!

First you get the cat to get the rat and then the dog to get the cat and then a snake to get the dog and then an elephant to get the snake and then a rat to get the elephant. My attic is not large enough for such a menagerie.

I will stick to death by archaic spring technology.
They'll get SPRUNG!

But the Rodent War has begun with an ill omen...

My entire household of ladies came to work yesterday and took me home early with the explicit demand that I crawl beneath the house and eliminate the sickly sweet smell of death that had begun to permeate the house through the floor.

It was just an Opossum playing dead.
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v1...r/unpossum.jpg
He stayed in character all the way to the dumpster.

Have I angered some small urban animal god?

Ourcrazymodern? 01-16-2008 06:44 PM

It appeared, a bit,
as though sauce might be involved.
...with all due respect.

Giant Hamburger 01-16-2008 07:29 PM

Maybe there was sauce on his face before the rats gnawed it off.
Just Maybe.

Fly 01-16-2008 10:31 PM

let them kill themselves off man............



....and document it.



just a thought.

ring 01-19-2008 08:35 AM

Dress them in blue hats and pose them well.

Charlatan 02-01-2008 01:32 AM

Stuffed Possum

POSSUM 1 possum (whole)
1 qt. cold water
1/8 cup salt
5 beef bouillon cubes
2 bay leaves
3 celery stalks (chopped)
2 onions (sliced)
1 bag packaged stuffing

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Soak possum in cold salt water for 10 hours. Rinse meat in cold water and refrigerate 2-4 hours. Prepare stuffing according to package directions. Stuff possum cavity with prepared packaged stuffing. Close cavity tightly. Place stuffed possum in roasting pan, add water, bouillon cubes, bay leaves, celery and onion. After 2 hours turn meat. Reduce heat to 300 degrees. Cook for 1 more hour. Test roast, if not done reduce heat and cook until done.

jewels 02-01-2008 06:07 AM

Don't forget a splash of hot sauce added when you turn the temperature down.

ring 02-08-2008 10:08 AM

The clue to the secret,
.................is
........

Giant Hamburger 02-08-2008 11:45 AM

Dearest Ring,

I am sending my carriage over to take you to my castle for a visit.
You do not need to pack.
I have included an outfit for the evening's celebration.
http://joykampia.com/fashion/lo-res/...ess(front).jpg
I hope I have sized you correctly.
As mentioned before, don't speak to the driver.

Looking forward to seeing you,
-GH

ring 02-08-2008 11:57 AM

1 red x means I am not too fat for company yet.
I have garlic breath,
and I don't shave my legs.

Giant Hamburger 02-08-2008 02:56 PM

Breathing and legs are optional.


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