Tophat665

both hands are in casts
she seemed like such a nice girl
wanted pay up front

Next: The real reason the sky is blue

__________________
Light a man a fire, and he will be warm while it burns.
Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

JumpinJesus

Scattered light refracts
The shortest wavelength is blue
The sun knows this fact

Next: Homosexual cats

__________________
"I can normally tell how intelligent a man is by how stupid he thinks I am" - Cormac McCarthy, All The Pretty Horses

ngdawg

Tom cat eyes up Garfield
Garfield doesn't care
He's feeling up Bill the cat

airport security

vermin

Metal scan, bomb sniff
German shepard laughs and wags
Rubber glove scares me

zombie paperboy

__________________
If puns were sausages, this would be the wurst.

Tophat665

In the grey morning,
The paper hits my door step
Rolled around an arm.

Next: Greetings from "World's Biggest"

__________________
Light a man a fire, and he will be warm while it burns.
Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

todd

The worlds biggest what?
Maybe male genitalia
I win.

Next: Scotch Tape

Tophat665

Todd can't write haiku
write five seven five on a card
sotch tape it to screen

Next: Pet rhinocerous.

__________________
Light a man a fire, and he will be warm while it burns.
Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

vermin

Oh rhinocerous
Armored pet unusual
Catflap way too small

Getting busted goofing off at work

__________________
If puns were sausages, this would be the wurst.

ngdawg

Oops! I must be dyslexic! Did mine 7-5-7

ngdawg

Boss says I'm Lazy
I think I am smarter than he
Mailboy's under my desk

Next: Howard Stern

vermin

I saw his movie
Funny, but his TV show
Sucks shit through a straw

sexual intercourse

__________________
If puns were sausages, this would be the wurst.

Fly

debbie does dallas

great fucking porno movie

sex is a good thing







chili peppers..........(and not the band)

__________________
BASTARD

SterlingStudios

bernadette

ignite. not the band...
red hot red hot red hot hot
loves it. loves the firey burn.

__________________
.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.

bernadette

crapsticks! i forgot the next topic...


here ya go:

<b>forgetfulness</b>

__________________
.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.

Xell101

I like tacos, hmm?
Oh shit, haikus!? I forgot!
Oh hey, a haiku!

I hearby decree that the following Haiku shall be written about:

Crunchy Tacos!

bernadette

crispy crackily
munch munch munch chomp chomp swig beer
add some more hot sauce

next: new tfp

__________________
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vermin

Beats a jab in the
(somebody doesn't like blue)
eye with a sharp stick

next: bees

__________________
If puns were sausages, this would be the wurst.

Tophat665

Holy Hopping Fuck!
That Burns Like Boiling Acid
Bastard Just Stung Me.

Next: Radical Surgery with common Household Instruments

__________________
Light a man a fire, and he will be warm while it burns.
Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

Xell101

Ice Cream Scoop, the pain
My brain resides in...tuba?
Or, am I trumpet

I hearby decree that the following Haiku shall be written about:
Fez Hats on monkeys

dy156

Shriners go-cart in
parades;raise funds, but monkeys
in hats do better

next :
gymnastics

ngdawg

Flexible, nimble flips
leaps great heights, turns on pointed toes
OW!! CRAMP! Shit, I lost.....

hmmmm.....humming

Tophat665

I don't know the words
maybe if I hum the tune
no one will notice.

Next: The pickle stick

__________________
Light a man a fire, and he will be warm while it burns.
Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

dy156

practical joke on
doctor: hold pickle down there,
"I got syphilis!"

next: USA basketball

ZenMasterJG

EDIT: sorry, done messed it up. ignore this post completly.

bernadette

squeaky shoes squeak squeak
monkeys jumping through the hoops
tall boys jump shoot score


next: pizza

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vermin

Deep dish crust, cheesey
mushrooms, olives, sausage too,
Shit! sauce burned my tongue!

scorpions

__________________
If puns were sausages, this would be the wurst.

Tophat665

Dapper Arachnids.
Venemous in their black robes.
Nine in a bottle.

(For those who don't get the reference, Oliver Wendell Holmes once referred to SCOTUS as "Nine scorpions trapped in a bottle.")

Next up:
Peculiar things caught while fishing.

__________________
Light a man a fire, and he will be warm while it burns.
Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

Grancey

O.J. Simpson's knife
Bethany Hamilton's arm
Laci Peterson


Moths

__________________
Quiet, mild-mannered souls might just turn out to be roaring lions of two-fisted cool.

Carpe Noctem

Grancey is fucked up,
what a funny haiku there!
There goes a moth now.

-Seriously-

Big old dusty moth,
why do you fly into light?
Can't you see that burns?

Next up: Spider-Man

warrrreagl

**stepping in as a casual observer**

Okay, first of all, Grancey is good. Secondly, I don't have a Spider-man haiku, so mine doesn't count. However, I do love to analyze blues lyrics and find unintentional haikus within (Blues Haikus, if you will). For example:

Accused of murder,
First degree. Judge's wife cried,
"Let that man go free."

That's from Willie Dixon's "Back Door Man."

**Okay, now back to.....**


Spider-Man

__________________
Living is easy with eyes closed.

Tophat665

Average boy plus
radioactive spider
equals latex pants?

Next: <a href="http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/showthread.php?t=44951">Eve Ellis</a>

__________________
Light a man a fire, and he will be warm while it burns.
Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

vermin

Lady wearing clothes
Shiny, tight, tied up with rope
Daddy should have hugged.

Next: starting a new job

__________________
If puns were sausages, this would be the wurst.

denilson3

first day at McD's
threw hamburgers at patron
need new job again


next: fast food

Grancey

Surging tides urge the
weary to flee for comfort
at the golden arch


Pickup trucks

__________________
Quiet, mild-mannered souls might just turn out to be roaring lions of two-fisted cool.

vermin

Yee-hah! Gun rack, Woo!
Four-wheel-drive, Yippee! Brush guard,
Small cars: submit/die

next: telescope

__________________
If puns were sausages, this would be the wurst.

Fly

i can see for miles
and miles,i can see for miles
and miles,i can


red wine

__________________
BASTARD

SterlingStudios

Tophat665

Bacon Wrapped Fillet
Petit Nouvelle Pommes du Terre
Something in a red

Next: Cooking with Spackle

__________________
Light a man a fire, and he will be warm while it burns.
Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

QuasiMojo

spread thin, two slices
slapped down on a red hot grill.
grilled spackle sandwich.

(they really fill me up)

Next- Scuba diving

__________________
AzAbOv ZoBeLoE

Tophat665

Fish hide and watch pass
strange frogs which spit bubbles that
Rise to break the waves.

Next: Time to clean the cat box.

__________________
Light a man a fire, and he will be warm while it burns.
Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

castex

Moggy stinks - BAD CAT!
Kitchen reeks, give lunch a miss
Yakk! I'm moving house.

Let's have: Where's Bones?