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Old 08-07-2003, 09:01 PM   #81 (permalink)
green
 
Everybody look!
I just put Bones' webcam up
On pirate TV

I should sell the rights
To some big network channel
what will it be called?

The name should be a
knockoff of a TV show
"Queer Eye for Himself?"

Next subject: bash.org
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Your arms are broken!
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Old 08-07-2003, 09:08 PM   #82 (permalink)
Deliberately unfocused
 
grumpyolddude's Avatar
 
Location: Amazon.com and CDBaby
dying on the net?
no posts in over two weeks?
don't go there, myself

next: editing your own posts
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Old 08-07-2003, 09:11 PM   #83 (permalink)
If you've read this, PM me and say so
 
Location: Sitting on my ass, and you?
you fucked up a post?
you can always edit it, k
you stupid jackass

next: Worlds worst Haiku
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Old 08-07-2003, 09:24 PM   #84 (permalink)
green
 
The big tiger goes
Grr rrr rrr rrr rrr rrr rrr
rrr rrr rrr rrr rrr

next: homsar
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Your arms are broken!
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Old 08-08-2003, 07:39 AM   #85 (permalink)
Insane
 
Location: Gastonia NC
A tub off crisco
with a shiny hat on top
too much birthday cake.

Next (and I'll do this one myself) counting

one two three four five
one two three for five six- damn!
I can't say 'seven'

next: OJ simpson
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"Then said Joseph to St. Mary, henceforth we will not allow him to go out of the house; for every one who displeases him is killed."

Gospel of the Infancy of Jesus Christ, 20:16
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Old 08-08-2003, 07:56 AM   #86 (permalink)
Junkie
 
Location: Chicago
J.C. played it well
It don't fit, you must acquit
Happy murderer.

next topic: The theory of relativity.
__________________
"I can normally tell how intelligent a man is by how stupid he thinks I am" - Cormac McCarthy, All The Pretty Horses
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Old 08-08-2003, 08:30 AM   #87 (permalink)
Psycho
 
Location: Dreams
I tried to Research
Couldn't figure it all out
My head now hurts, thanks

next topic: psychedelic stuff
__________________
I know not how I may seem to others, but to myself I am but a small child wandering upon the vast shores of knowledge, every now and then finding a small bright pebble to content myself with. [Plato]
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Old 08-08-2003, 09:57 AM   #88 (permalink)
Redwing fan extraordinaire
 
Location: Michigan
3 tasty mushrooms
the damn room is still spinning
woah the colors, man!



nest topic Baseball
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Its good to be back.
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Old 08-08-2003, 01:19 PM   #89 (permalink)
green
 
God fucking dammt
Benitez blows one more save
God damn stupid Mets

next topic: New York Rangers
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Your arms are broken!
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Old 08-08-2003, 02:24 PM   #90 (permalink)
Dumb all over...a little ugly on the side
 
Sion's Avatar
 
Location: In the room where the giant fire puffer works, and the torture never stops.
Which is worse? Rangers
Or Ranger fans? None of them
Know about hockey.


next topic: manifest destiny
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He's the best, of course, of all the worst.
Some wrong been done, he done it first. -fz

I jus' want ta thank you...falettinme...be mice elf...agin...
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Old 08-08-2003, 04:21 PM   #91 (permalink)
Banned?
 
Location: Artic Tundra
Give me this land please
God told me I can have it
Please note my large gun.

Next: Clockwork Orange
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Spinach in Need is Spinach Indeed

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Old 08-08-2003, 07:52 PM   #92 (permalink)
Indifferent to anti-matter
 
vermin's Avatar
 
Location: Tucson, AZ
I will wind and wind
let go the key to the works
fruit inanimate

Motor whirs, fruit does
nothing; stupid idea
juice will taste oily

Next: The Battle of Jutland
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If puns were sausages, this would be the wurst.
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Old 08-08-2003, 09:48 PM   #93 (permalink)
Deliberately unfocused
 
grumpyolddude's Avatar
 
Location: Amazon.com and CDBaby
Von Sheer made a move
Jellicoe was a coward
Beatty did his job

German fleet a mess
never to pose a real threat
Jellicoe reprieved

England rules the seas
Though war drags on many years
writing on the wall


next: rodents as avatars
__________________
"Regret can be a harder pill to swallow than failure .With failure you at least know you gave it a chance..." David Howard
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Old 08-09-2003, 06:12 AM   #94 (permalink)
Insane
 
Location: Gastonia NC
Every time I post
You will see this great big vole
and I think it's cool

next: what you would do for a klondike bar
__________________
"Then said Joseph to St. Mary, henceforth we will not allow him to go out of the house; for every one who displeases him is killed."

Gospel of the Infancy of Jesus Christ, 20:16
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Old 08-09-2003, 06:29 AM   #95 (permalink)
Psycho
 
Location: france
Lady of the night
Equal opportunity
No, sorry, I'm lost.

Coming soon: Police speed traps


ps. Top three-pronged haiku Jutland summary, G.O.D. Bravo!
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Old 08-09-2003, 06:39 AM   #96 (permalink)
Insane
 
Location: Gastonia NC
Hate technology
So I'll build my crazy bombs
out of string and wood.

noext: airline food
__________________
"Then said Joseph to St. Mary, henceforth we will not allow him to go out of the house; for every one who displeases him is killed."

Gospel of the Infancy of Jesus Christ, 20:16
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Old 08-09-2003, 07:06 AM   #97 (permalink)
Insane
 
Location: Gastonia NC
All three lines must rhyme?
I can do that all the time
With a twist of lime

next, 14 year old mall goths
__________________
"Then said Joseph to St. Mary, henceforth we will not allow him to go out of the house; for every one who displeases him is killed."

Gospel of the Infancy of Jesus Christ, 20:16
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Old 08-09-2003, 08:08 AM   #98 (permalink)
Insane
 
Mr Scorcex's Avatar
 
Location: Colorado
Goths are dumb, whiney,
malajusted, rich kids
who block my mall path.

Most people fail to realise that my full name is Mr. Shakespeare Scorcex. That little fact, however, has no bearing on my crappy poetry.

Next:
Tape Measures
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Old 08-09-2003, 10:31 AM   #99 (permalink)
Exhausted
 
Location: Northeastern US - please send help!
Help, my yellow friend!
I must make sure I'm precise.
Measure twice. Cut Once.

Next: The female orgasm.
__________________
"If you're walking on thin ice, you may as well go ahead and dance."
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Old 08-09-2003, 12:22 PM   #100 (permalink)
Indifferent to anti-matter
 
vermin's Avatar
 
Location: Tucson, AZ
oh oh oh yes yes
right there, oh my god oh damn
make me a sandwich

Next: breast self-exam
__________________
If puns were sausages, this would be the wurst.
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Old 08-09-2003, 05:04 PM   #101 (permalink)
Deliberately unfocused
 
grumpyolddude's Avatar
 
Location: Amazon.com and CDBaby
feel the left, then right
search for little signs of lumps
yes, I'm male. So what?

next: pzza delivery
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Old 08-09-2003, 05:07 PM   #102 (permalink)
Junkie
 
Location: Chicago
Go, little car, go
Get the pizza there quickly
Oh, no - it's a trap.

Next topic: Patty Hearst
__________________
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Old 08-09-2003, 05:23 PM   #103 (permalink)
Junkie
 
Location: Louisville, KY
An easy con job,
Poor brainwashed Patty robs bank,
So says wise Google

Next: Dangerously obsessed Star Trek fans
__________________
You do not use a Macintosh, instead you use a Tandy
Kompressor break your glowstick, Kompressor eat your candy
Kompressor open jaws, Kompressor release ants
Kompressor watch you scream, Because Kompressor does not dance

Last edited by Nefir; 08-09-2003 at 05:27 PM..
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Old 08-10-2003, 12:35 AM   #104 (permalink)
Loser
 
Location: the bathroom
i'm gonna puke now
dizzy, the toilet beckons
dry heave, beer and bile.

next topic: trailer trash women
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Old 08-10-2003, 01:20 AM   #105 (permalink)
Yo dawg, I herd u like...
 
Apokx's Avatar
 
Location: memes.
I Love White Trash Chicks.
They are so easy to fuck.
One buck for a trick.



Next Topic:Army of Darkness.
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Old 08-10-2003, 02:10 AM   #106 (permalink)
Addict
 
Location: Grey Britain
Army of Darkness,
I beg you wholeheartedly
don't lacerate me.



Next topic: My underpants smell
__________________
"No one was behaving from very Buddhist motives. Then, thought Pigsy, he was hardly a Buddha, nor was he a monkey. Presently, he was a pig spirit changed into a little girl pretending to be a little boy to be offered to a water monster. It was all very simple to a pig spirit."
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Old 08-10-2003, 02:23 AM   #107 (permalink)
Loser
 
Location: Somewhere near Hubby
Having sex is fun
Leaves you with smelly panties
That can lead to more

Next topic: Going to the dentist
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Old 08-10-2003, 03:40 AM   #108 (permalink)
If you've read this, PM me and say so
 
Location: Sitting on my ass, and you?
i hate the dentist
he hurt my gums by drilling
so i shot him dead

next: clowns
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Old 08-10-2003, 04:15 AM   #109 (permalink)
Junkie
 
Location: Louisville, KY
Hello little boy,
Have a balloon, free of charge!
Now your soul is mine...

(ehehehehehehehe!!! )

Next: Riced-up cars and the clowns who drive em
__________________
You do not use a Macintosh, instead you use a Tandy
Kompressor break your glowstick, Kompressor eat your candy
Kompressor open jaws, Kompressor release ants
Kompressor watch you scream, Because Kompressor does not dance
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Old 08-10-2003, 05:54 AM   #110 (permalink)
Exhausted
 
Location: Northeastern US - please send help!
I get good mileage,
But scorn from other drivers.
I own a Honda.

Next: People who talk on their cell phones during movies
__________________
"If you're walking on thin ice, you may as well go ahead and dance."
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Old 08-10-2003, 06:14 AM   #111 (permalink)
Junkie
 
Location: Louisville, KY
Fo shizzle, nizzle,
Dis be one phatass flick, son!
Ow! Who punched me? Help!

Next: Tentacle sex
__________________
You do not use a Macintosh, instead you use a Tandy
Kompressor break your glowstick, Kompressor eat your candy
Kompressor open jaws, Kompressor release ants
Kompressor watch you scream, Because Kompressor does not dance
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Old 08-10-2003, 12:11 PM   #112 (permalink)
Junkie
 
Location: Montreal
horny octopus
what are you doing with that arm?
ouch, that kind of sucks

Next up: nude cycling
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Old 08-10-2003, 12:43 PM   #113 (permalink)
Deliberately unfocused
 
grumpyolddude's Avatar
 
Location: Amazon.com and CDBaby
I'd much rather be
behind Jenna Jameson
than Jim Belushi

I will only ride
until my testicles hurt
OUCH! those potholes suck!


next: laundry day
__________________
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Old 08-10-2003, 03:19 PM   #114 (permalink)
Junkie
 
Location: Louisville, KY
Feeling polluted?
With all your powers combined,
I'm Captain Planet!

Next: Being at the wrong place at the wrong time
__________________
You do not use a Macintosh, instead you use a Tandy
Kompressor break your glowstick, Kompressor eat your candy
Kompressor open jaws, Kompressor release ants
Kompressor watch you scream, Because Kompressor does not dance
Nefir is offline  
Old 08-11-2003, 07:11 AM   #115 (permalink)
Psycho
 
Location: Dreams
Being a nude jew
Nazi parades are teh suck
I hope I survive.

next: google
__________________
I know not how I may seem to others, but to myself I am but a small child wandering upon the vast shores of knowledge, every now and then finding a small bright pebble to content myself with. [Plato]
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Old 08-11-2003, 08:41 AM   #116 (permalink)
Exhausted
 
Location: Northeastern US - please send help!
Damn, I need info!
But I have no time to search
Google, I love you!

or

Infinite web sites
Which one is the most useful?
Google! Please help me!

Next: Gary Coleman's gubernatorial bid
__________________
"If you're walking on thin ice, you may as well go ahead and dance."
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Old 08-11-2003, 10:36 AM   #117 (permalink)
Insane
 
Location: Gastonia NC
Make me govenor
Whachoo talkin 'bout, willis?
I am NOT too short!

Next, flintstones vitamins.
__________________
"Then said Joseph to St. Mary, henceforth we will not allow him to go out of the house; for every one who displeases him is killed."

Gospel of the Infancy of Jesus Christ, 20:16
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Old 08-11-2003, 01:09 PM   #118 (permalink)
Junkie
 
Location: Louisville, KY
Fool, that's not candy!
Part of a balanced breakfast
for whiny fat kids

Next: LARP... Lightning Bolt! Lightning Bolt! Lightning Bolt!
__________________
You do not use a Macintosh, instead you use a Tandy
Kompressor break your glowstick, Kompressor eat your candy
Kompressor open jaws, Kompressor release ants
Kompressor watch you scream, Because Kompressor does not dance
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Old 08-11-2003, 01:22 PM   #119 (permalink)
Insane
 
Location: Gastonia NC
Big foam rubber sword
Plate mail made out of hubcaps
Dwarf? No, accountant.

next: accidentally watching gay porn
__________________
"Then said Joseph to St. Mary, henceforth we will not allow him to go out of the house; for every one who displeases him is killed."

Gospel of the Infancy of Jesus Christ, 20:16
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Old 08-11-2003, 01:44 PM   #120 (permalink)
Lost
 
Munku's Avatar
 
Location: Florida
You guys realize, the second line, of Spinach's first poem, is 6 syllables?
Munku is offline  
 

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