Jesseboy

Hello everyone - this is my first post on the TFP, and I'm gonna make it a doosie. Advice/Comments are much appreciated.

I have been dating the same girl now for almost five years - we started dating Junior year in high school, and now we are both 21. Basically, everything started off very well and has continued to go extraordinarily well, but we have run into a couple of issues that I would like to resolve.

We have a pretty open/honest relationship, but one thing that we seem to disagree on is sex.

Being a younger male, I pretty much want it all the time, and she hardly wants to have sex at all. Obviously, this is an issue.

I think I would understand it a lot more if she didn't enjoy it as well. Although she seems to be unable to climax from penetration, I do my best to make sure she finishes every time we romp. Typically, I give her oral sex until she climaxes. I would say that she comes 99/100 times we get it on - however, sex has become less and less frequent.

She isn't very fond of being manually stimulated, she certainly seems to enjoy penetration, but only climaxes once in a blue moon from penetration alone. I know sexual compatibility is pretty darn important in a relationship, but I love this girl and this seems to be the only issue that keeps coming up - or issues revolving around sex.

We usually have sex probably 2-3 times a month, sometimes more, but not much more. Sometimes, we'll go for a month or two at a time without sex.

I think part of the problem lies in the fact that one way to turn her on is for me to be aggressive, and pretty much attack her. This is a duel edged sword though - when it works, great. But if it doesn't, I basically feel like I just tried forcing myself on her, in combination with feeling like shit because I was just rejected.

To me, two 21 year olds having sex that infrequently seems rather unhealthy, so I basically see two main resolutions to the problem. Either we start having sex a lot more, or we contine how we are going, with the frequency contining to decline.

For those of you that I am sure are wondering, she is on the shot for B/C. For added protection I always pull out when finishing as well. I realize that pulling out isn't failsafe, but I figure that it lowers the chances of pregnancy significantly in combination with birth control.

I would imagine that one way to potentially increase her sex drive would be a different form of birth control, but it almost seems that she just doesn't really see it as a problem, other than the fact that I have issues with it.

At one point, we went so far as to purchase some pills that supposedly increases a womans sex drive (I would like to point out that I know that in all likelyhood it wouldn't work, but I was hoping for the placebo effect to help me out on this one) She was constantly forgetting to take the pills (they were required to be taken daily) and even when I would remind her she would basically say that she would just take it tomorrow. This gives me the impression that sex isn't really all that important to her, as it was supposed to take 30 days before it went into full swing. Interestingly enough, she did say that her orgasms were stronger, and for the first time ever she had probably a 5-7 minute orgasm (or series of orgasms) - but even that didn't convince her to continue taking them on a regular basis.

I feel like an asshole for being so horny all the time, but I just don't think I can help it. When we crawl into bed at night, (she likes to cuddle) I am constantly poking her in the back or ass. To allieviate that, I started (just recently, we'll see how it goes) to sleep with pants on. I feel like such a dick all the time, hoping for sex, but I just can't help it. I haven't yet decided on whether or not there is anything I can do to fix this, it pretty much just seems to be how I am. I control myself fairly well, but my body decieves me much of the time. Probably about half the time I am with her I have a hard-on... you'd think that it would be a little less exciting to me after all these years.

One option I am considering is finding something to lower my libido as she seems pretty content with hers as is. I know that sounds rather ridiculous, but I seem to be running out of options rather quickly. I am considering asking her to marry me relatively soon (I already have the ring) but want to try and work out as many issues as we can before marrige, I'm not sure if I am strong enough to deal with another 20 years of this.

Re-reading this post, it sounds like I am placing much of the blame on her - I want to clarify. As much as it sucks for me, her libido isn't necessarily the problem, mine is, or more specifically it's my ability to suck it up and control myself. I find it ridiculous that after being turned down this many times I still haven't gotten used to it, lol.

When talking to her about oral sex, she says she doesn't have a problem with giving me oral sex, but her actions tell me otherwise. She has probably only given it to me less than half a dozen times in all the time we were together, so I imagine she may be saying one thing trying to make life a bit easier for me while feeling a different way. The funny thing is, one of the reasons she isn't such a big fan of it is because I take so long to finish that way. If it happened more frequently, I would imagine she would get a bit better at it .

I don't know what else to write here... I basically feel like a dick for making such a big deal out of something so... animalistic... but I am looking for any advice anyone can offer to help me out.

I suppose a bit more information might be helpful...

We were not virgins when we met, although I am the first guy that has ever made her climax. She seems very comfortable with her body, and doesn't seem to have any self-esteem issues. She is willing to accomadate me - if I were to ask for oral sex she would give it to me, I just think it would be nice for her to want to have sex with me, instead of it seeming like a chore.

Like I said earlier, we have a pretty open relationship, and some of the things that she likes are for me to be aggressive - basically for me to kiss her very passionately and rub myself on her, she also wants me to be a little bit rougher when we have sex - usually I am very gentle. This may give you the impression that she likes to be dominated, which is definately NOT the case, not even in the bedroom. If any of you have any other questions, please ask.

Thanks for reading this monster of a post...

Wax_off

#1 piece of advice. Get her off the BC shot. That can kill your sex drive. Think aobut low dose pills, or even try condoms for a while.

Seriously. I've seen this a number of times. A friend of mine had to go through about 5 different BC methods before she found one that was right for her. One made her weepy, another bitchy, another killed her sex drive and so on.

la petite moi

OMG! If you read my thread here in Tilted Sexuality, you will know that nwlinkvxd is just like you, and I'm pretty much like your girlfriend! One important thing in common is that we are both on the shot.

I would say that she should try another form of BC (which I am doing very soon).

MH73

She might need to get more into it before you start... My last girlfriend needed 15-20 minutes of foreplay before she was TRUELY ready... Anything before that would be uncomfortable and she couldn't get as into it...

Also, I noticed no mention of giving oral to her... I assume you do that often, right?

(BC shot = evil btw... Best I have seen is the good 'ol IUD, but she might flow heavier as a result)

insidious_machinae

This is eerily familiar.

la petite moi

MH73, he says at the top: Typically, I give her oral sex until she climaxes. I would say that she comes 99/100 times we get it on - however, sex has become less and less frequent.

MH73

Bah, I'm tired and cant read right tonight... :P thanks for the correction

MageB420666

Dear God, That sounds almost exactly like my situation with my girlfriend, except that nothing I do seems to turn her on at all, my girlfriends not on the shot, but she's on other meds.

And just to let you know, I fell pretty much the same way that you do.

Now, as for advice, try to get her to try some other type of birth control, unless she has some medical condition that requires she be on a hormonal birth control, because as far as I know, most of the hormone birth control methods kill libido.

If her libido is being killed by the shot, then she is probably not going to see the lack of sex as a problem, because the infrequent, and sometimes absence of sex is still meeting her sexual needs.

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danny_boy

I have tried a new technique with my SO. You see, I also realized that while we both love sex equally, I want it more often, which is characteristic of early 20-something males.

So, if we are lying in bed, or cuddling on the couch, I will just start caressing her..on her back...her arms...That will change into soft kissing, then into heavy kissing.

I had an issue I posted about her not initiating, and I know this is no real issue at all, because we have a great sex life.

Now, after kissing, and gentle caressing, it gets to the point where she gets sooooo worked up that she literally takes my hand and puts it in the nether regions.

If you are with her in bed, try giving her a massage, or even kissing her. Enough of that will definitely get the juices flowing.

Something else that I'm growing to love is kissing and caressing, but not having sex. I never thought I could do that, and yes I am left with a raging hardon, but it just seems to go deeper than that.

If you are with her and are cuddling, or playing, try not immediately going for her tits, or the mummy daddy button, instead, tickle her thights, caress her back and arms...see how it goes.

Tbone12345

Just to let the men know, not many women can climax from penetration alone. I had great sex for about a year and half with no orgasim. I thought that was just the way it was until I had sex with a different guy where I felt more open. I started to rub my clit while were having sex and that's the first time I experienced and orgasim while having sex or being penetrated. As I get older and have more practice, I have since been able to orgasim by penetration alone, but very rarely. One boyfriend was upset that he couldn't get me off by himself, but I just explained that it wasn't a big deal and either way it felt great. Maybe she would like some kind of roll playing, or whips and hand cuffs. You shouldn't feel like a dick because you want to have sex, that's normal. I've noticed that the longer the work up to sex the easier it is for me to climax whether it's by penetration or not. Anyway, just be patient, it sounds like you have no plans on leaving her and I think that shows that you really love her no matter what.

danny_boy

I agree 100%.

I think sex takes a lot of practice.

Try new things.....

MY SO could not climax for the first month we were having sex (she was a virgin) but after she got comfortable enough with it, she now climaxes every time. Sex is at least 50% psychological.

Jesseboy

I appreciate everyone's advice - but I don't think it has anything to do with foreplay. When we do have sex, she is very much into it and has quite a bit of fun - it's just that we seldom actually have sex.

I have considered just waiting for her to initiate it, but I think if I were to do that I may not have sex for the rest of my life

I just wish that there was some magical answer to fix this, although I realize that's just wishful thinking...

As far as I know, she would not feel comfortable going on any type of birth control where she actually has to actively take it, like the pill. We both feel safest using "automatic" b/c methods, like the shot, patch, ect.

I don't think I would feel comfortable relying only on a condom again - too risky at this point in our lives. To be honest, judging on the previously mentioned ability to take a pill on a regular basis, I too would prefer that she stay away from anything that she can forget to take...

la petite moi

Jesseboy, I'm switching to an IUD over this. If she isn't comfortable with that, maybe try the nuvaring.

abaya

So has she tried the patch? I wouldn't go near the shot with a 10-foot-pole, but the patch seems to work fine (though we always use condoms) and my libido is pretty good. The bad thing for me is that it makes me nauseous and actually throw up sometimes (once a month), so I'm thinking of changing or getting off BC entirely. But at least I still want sex.

I'm under the impression that a LOT of women can't orgasm from penetration alone, including me. Is this a big hang-up for you (if so, why?). I always need clit stimulation, and that's not a problem with my bf. Orgasms in general aren't an issue for us... sometimes I cum, sometimes I don't, but we don't worry about it every time. Try not to stress about it if she's fine with oral climaxes only. Also, does she come from penetration combined with oral? (E.g. when you reach around while inside her and play with her clit, or use a vibrator while you do oral?).

Btw, just because you have a dick and want more sex than she does, doesn't MAKE you a dick. At least you're honest and loving about your approach. Have you told her all that stuff that you told us? And damn, you already have the ring to ask her to marry you? I'd say try relationship or even sex counseling first, to make sure that you guys will be compatible in the long run... at 21 I hope you aren't in THAT big of a rush. Straighten out these issues before you think about the long-term.

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Sage

GET HER OFF OF THE SHOT!!!

There's a bajillion options for birth control out there, the patch in all its various forms, the ring, an IUD- get her to her doctor pronto!! Sit down with her, and make the time to have a very long, very heartfelt conversation about how your sex life is making you feel. Tell her that you want to be intimate with her more often, because you love her, everything about her, and you want to share yourself with her in every way (you feel this way, don't you?). Tell her you're there for her, and that you are concerned for her state of mind (do NOT say her sex drive here) because you see that the shot is affecting what's going on in her head. I know that when I was on BC, not only did I not want to have sex, but I honestly thought it was normal for me to not want to have sex. And you know what? IT'S NOT THAT NORMAL!! (I'm not saying low libido isn't normal in some people, just that she really likes having sex when you do have it- which indicates to me that her BC is pushing sex out of her mind in the everyday situations she's in- like it did to me.)

Think about it dude- you wanna marry this girl, you love her, you have the ring. Do you REALLY want to only be having sex 1-2 times a month? Don't answer from your dick, but from your heart- how would you feel, on an intimate and personal level, if you only got the chance to sexually connect with your wife once a fortnight? PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE talk to her, tell her how you feel, and ask her if she'd consider other options for BC- and that you're there for her no matter what.

I know TheProf was having issues with this a while back, might wanna PM him, and I've been through this before, so feel free to PM or IM me if you wanna talk about it.

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drewpy

Jesseboy - my two cents and 20 years of marriage tell me that one thing you need to realize - is that you should stop beating yourself up. you mention many times - you feel like an asshole, a dick, your problem etc.

Stop that part. You're fine.

In fact, your drive, your interest in her, and your enthuiasm are actually a very important part of who you are. And whether or not you get laid, she probably loves you for it. Rather than always poking, try offering her a few nights of no pressure, backrubs etc. Reassure her that it is not only about getting off. Under less pressure and reassurance, she may respond.

Anyhow, I think you are very mature for recognizing the significant impact sex drive compatibilty can have in a relationship.

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Sweetpea

Just to note: The average American couple has sex at least twice a week.

I agree 100% with drewpy here, sex drive compatibility is very important for long term happiness together.

Try some of the solutions that others have listed above, aka, get her off her BC and try your Best together to fix this issue . . . obviously, she wants to fix it too.

However I'm going to be the straightfoward one here:
IF after you try these solutions and you find your sex drives are STILL not compatible to this large degree, i wouldn't recommend you stay together in a long term relationship.
I know several people in pretty much sexless marriages, and having sex twice a month is basically a sexless relationship.
Living in a sexless relationship (or marriage) is horrible and eventually it causes Huge problems, because if you're truly not sexually compatible (i'm not talking cause she's on BC, because you can fix that, i mean if you are REALLY actually not compatible at all), there is nothing you can do to fix that and eventually, your relationship will suffer from the lack of passion and intimacy, which, while not everything in a relationship is integral to happiness together.

just putting it out there, i'm not trying to be harsh or anything, but so many people think that they can just work around the very infrequent sex issue and they just can't . . .. people need sexual intimacy and if you have a high sex drive, there is a woman out there that can match you. I know this because i have a very high sex drive, i enjoy and need it 6-7 days a week, i match my husband's sex drive perfectly, but if he wasn't a sexual person like me and we weren't compatible, then we probably couldn' be together and happy, because that sexual passion is important to me and him. So, please don't feel bad that you have a high sex drive, embrace it and be proud of it. Don't feel guilty about it . . . it's great to have a high sex drive, and don't let anyone tell you any different.

Peace, Hope you find a solution!

Sweetpea

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skysooner

This comes back to the age old problem of non-communication. I have said this many times on this board. A woman's sexuality is much different than ours is. My sex life after 14 years of marriage is more intense than it ever was early on. She gets lubrciated very easily and turned on very easy now. She used to feel a ton of guilt over sex and now she gets into it. The major reason for this change? We started talking in a more focused way. Men and women just communicate differently. There are a ton of books out there that discuss what men say vs. what women hear and vice versa. Read one of these and learn about how to effectively talk to her.

Once you two can talk intimately without it leading to sex, you will find that not only are you turned on more frequently but she will be to. Men's sexual drive is more physical certainly, but I find that I am much more into it when I have this intense mental connection with my wife. My wife and I talk and touch frequently. She says our marriage is more like what she reads in a romance novel now except we achieved it after years of marriage rather than instantly.

P.S. Birth control can also certainly have an effect on a woman's sexual libido, and you should check that out. However, I feel that the main problem here is just that you two aren't communicating. Don't talk to her about how you aren't having enough sex. Instead talk to her about herself, her day, your day, your deepest feelings, etc. You will be amazed at the reaction I think.

strcrssd

Much like la petite moi and nwlinkvxd, kollege_gal2000 and I have the same problem.

I'm a very horny guy, and she's a not-as-horny girl. We have some other minor differences as well (gal gets so horny she demands me before I can get her off....which bothers me, and like most girls, she can't get off from penetration alone).

gal's on the pill, which seems to work great (as birth control), but may be affecting her libido a bit, its an unknown factor.

I pretty much wanted to post just to say that many of us are in similar situations, and we're all here for each other...that's one of the main draws of tfproject.

Thanks for sharing, if you ever need anything (although I'm far from an expert), feel free to PM me.

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Jesseboy

Wow, thanks for all the responses

Not at all, just figured I couldn't really supply too much information. I don't really think that she has an issue with it either, as she still loves the feeling of me inside her.


Lol, I wouldn't really call being together five years and me thinking about asking her to marry me a rush, but I understand your point. We certainly won't be rushing into anything - we've talked rather extensively on this topic, actually. We know that we were young when we started dating, which is why we haven't jumped into anything quite yet.

Well, we have spoken about our lack of sex as well, but everytime it comes up she feels as though it is all her fault and that she isn't satisfying my every need. It's difficult, because I don't think she can ever really talk non-emotionally about out difference in sexual drive. When I say "Is there anything that we can try to increase your libido?" She hears "Why can't we have sex more often... It's YOUR fault that we aren't"

To be honest, I don't think that she would ever admit it, and I could certainly be wrong, but I'd bet that it is pretty damn similar to that.

Do I WANT to have sex only 1-2 times a month? No, not at all. Would I to stay with her? Yes. Sex is certainly important, and I say the above the with optimism that comes from only being 21 and having your whole life ahead of you. Those are mighty brave words, saying that I would be alright with having sex only 1-2 times a month, but in reality I understand that it may cause potentially severe issues in the future. Ideally, we'll be able to come to some sort of conclusion to this problem before becoming engaged and and all that, but I'd be willing to sacrifice for her.

Agreed, I have attempted this and hope that I have been fairly successful with giving her a no-pressure environment most of the time. I offer backrubs, massages, I'll draw a bath for her and wait on her hand and foot usually once every couple of months, but to no avail.

In addition, to encourage ANY sexual behavior from her, we made a new "rule." The "rule" basically says that if for whatever reason, if either one of us is unable to have sex (typically I last awhile) because one of us works early the next morning, is pretty tired but still want a bit of gratification, ect. that we simply ask the other person for oral sex, without being expected to do anything in return. I have only utilized this once, just mainly to show her that it was o.k for her to ask it of me - which she has. So whenever she is a bit frisky, but doesn't have the time/energy for full blown sex, I just go down on her and that's that, without any need to return the favor. Granted, usually when we are finished I am more riled up than ever, but I adhere strictly to the no-pressure for any reciprication aspect of it simply hoping that it will hopefully peak her interest in sex again...

lindseylatch

So, a lot of people have this problem...I think the biggest difference though is that both the people want to fix the problem. It seems that in your case, she just doesn't give a damn about how you feel. I think that's the main problem. You're willing to do all kind of things, and she won't even take one little pill.
Is this a trend in your relationship, where you're always the one compromising, and she just does whatever she wants?

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skysooner

She sounds just like my wife used to be. Sex is supposed to be natural. To some it is. To others, it is a big complicated mess. What I mean by communication is working on your "non-sexual" relationship. Establish total trust in others ways and then just ease into the other discussions as they come up. It took me a long time to break down my wife's barriers (mostly out of my own ignorance about what was needed). Any time we talked about sex, she thought I was blaming her for our average sex life (and in some ways I was I suppose). Once we figured out how to talk to each other, it all evened out, and now we can discuss anything.

Jesseboy

Hmm... I don't think I am qualified to objectively answer this question. To me, it certainly feels that way sometimes, but I recognize the fact that she does plenty of things to comprimise with me as well.

What's very interesting is how much the rest of my life differs from our relationship. In my professional life, I do not compromise, I do not negotiate, I am a ruthless, heartless, relentless bastard. However, all that melts away when it comes to her - she's much of the reason I strive so heard to do what I do well. I have always been ambitious, but it was always ambition without a goal - now I know that I want to be able to provide her whatever her heart desires, to build a life where she doesn't have to work if she doesn't want to - travel when we like, ect. I highly doubt she would ever stop working, but it will be nice to know that she has the option and she won't have to work because we need the money.


So, I suppose in answer to your question, as I seem to have gotten a bit sidetracked, I know I compromise quite a bit on certain issues, but she certainly does her fair share as well. When we do fight, though, she looks at it more of a "let's try and prove the other person wrong and myself right" vs me looking at it as us being a team trying to work through an issue. It seems that we aren't yet seeing eye to eye on that aspect, but I can understand how it is easy to feel that the other person is attacking you when you are very emotional.

Apache

I have to agree with all others who have already said it, get off the BC! This same thing happened to me right after I went on the pill. I had just turned 18 when my husband and I started dating and we were both virgins so I wasn't already on any kind of birth control. When we first started having sex we just used condoms but I went on the pill very soon after. I was only on the pill for around 6 months when I started having problems with them. And one of the problems was I almost completly lost my sex drive. I figure he was probably feeling a lot like you are now, and we both agreed it was best for me to get off the pill. Now 6 years together and our sex life is great. Just hang in there and hope everything works out for ya!

alicat

Jesseboy: You sound like an unbelievably mature, caring, intelligent, compassionate guy for your age! Any girl would be happy to have you.

Take it from first hand experience, if you truly love each other and are compatible, then marrying at your age after 5 years is not a problem. My hubby and I got together at 17 and have now happily been together for 16 yrs. (12 yrs. married). Obviously sex is a huge part of any relationship or marriage and possibly some counseling might help you two (regular or sexual). You sound like a completly normal 21 yr. old male as far as your sex drive goes (in fact, I feel your admirable in the control and patience you have over it!). Your GF on the other-hand, sounds like there might be something going on with her sex-drive (which seems very low for her age), what it is I don't know but counceling might help find out.

I have to be a dissenting voice here. Birth control (in whatever form) is not always the culprit. Because my only child died from a very rare genetic disorder and the likelihood of it happening in any other children, I have to be on birth control. I haven't done anything permanent in the hope that science might have some breakthrough eventually that would allow us to have a healthy child. I therefore have no choice but to take BC. I admit I did have a slight lowering of libido while on the pill for a handfull of years, but only a little. Because of a conflict of medication, I had to switch to the shot (Depo-provera).

I was on Depo for nearly 5 yrs. and did not suffer any effect to my sex drive the entire time. There are alot of horror stories about it (I even found an entire website devoted to them) but I had no problems at all. I went off the shot a year ago when we started some new genetic counseling in the hopes of having a child. Since the results were negative, I'm about to go back on the shot (I'm scared to death to go through sterilization surgery at this point in time). I'm not saying other women haven't had trouble with the shot, it just seems that they are the ones who are vocal about it vs. the majority who haven't had problems and therefore, don't have anything to say.

Good luck to you.

Ali

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Sweetpea

Jesseboy,

Get your SO off her BC and/or try a different BC solutution and don't forget to tell us how things improve, cause i know they are going to

Sweetpea

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tres

Dude... I know that story all too well as it was almost identical to mine. I brought it up here onces.....
http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/showthread.php?t=84686

My SO just switched her B/C and is hornier than ever...

Does your SO have any latent issues with men? She ever been abused/molested anything like that?

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Jesseboy

Alicat - Thank you, you are too kind.

I'll chat with her and see if switching birth control is even an option, as I am not sure if she would consider any other methods. Are there any specific "automatic" (ie not The Pill) b/c methods that anyone can recommend? Ideally, they would have a lesser chance of impacting her sexual drive... I see that the NuvaRing is becoming more popular, but am not sure as to what the side effects I should expect are.

Not to my knowledge, and I know her pretty well. I can't say that I have ever asked, but she hasn't really shown any signs/symptoms of any such atrocities happening to her...

tres

Try asking her about her past... maysomething happened to her... As far as Automatic... IUD or The Ring... My SO is on b/c pill now and we both set our alarms on our cell phones for around the time we go to bed, and this way if she forgets i can remind her..

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Jesseboy

***Update***

Well everyone - thanks for all your help and advice!

I'm proud to report that I took all the advice to heart, and after doing quite a bit of research, came to the conclusion that although birth control may be a contributing factor, it certainly wasn't the problem.

I re-assessed our relationship, and tried looking at things from her point of view. I decided that it was likely that lack of communication about the issue was really the problem, so she and I had a chat.

In the beginning, it went as it typically went - and we got to the part where she basically blames herself for not "satisfying me" instead of comforting her and ending the conversation, I basically said "Look honey, I understand how you might be feeling right now, but you need to look past that and we need to get to the heart of the problem. I need you to be completely honest with me, and I with you - no sugar coating allowed."

What it came down to was this: Since she basically felt that anything that we did other than the quick peck or hug would lead to my being frisky and her rejecting me, she would try and avoid rejecting me and only let our contact go that far unless she was willing to go all the way. As a result, there was a barrier between us - we weren't feeling as close as we typically would be simply because of the lack of physical contact. Becaue she didn't feel close enough to me, it certainly played into the reduction in libido - with her libido reduced, it made us have sex less frequently, increasing my frustration... Basically, it was a vicious cycle that just got worse and worse.

After talking it all out, we decided on a couple of courses of action that would get us out of this rut, and have since implemented them. I'm happy to report that a few nights ago we were lying in bed and she basically attacked me because she was so riled up - a situtation that hadn't occured very frequently at all...

So, not only has the frequency of sex increased dramatically (we're talking about once a day now) the quality of sex has increased as well. Our relationship is looking better than ever, and after everything calms down (my life is a bit hectic right now, buying a duplex, moving, putting in 60+ hours in a week at work, ect) I think it's about time to bust out the ole ring that I bought her and propose. Actually, I'm looking for ideas on that as well, so I might ask for a bit more help from you folks.

Well, I suppose that's it for now - thanks again for all your help, I figured I should just let everyone know how things worked out for me

cowgirl02

Good, im happy for you!!! Communication is the best way to resolve things!!!

__________________
"If you judge people, you have no time to love them"- Mother Theresa

*No man or woman is worth your tears, and the one who is, won't make you cry.

*Never frown, even when you are sad, because you never know who is falling in love with your smile.

*Don't waste your time on a man/woman, who isn't willing to waste their time on you.

TheProf

That's great to hear that you've gotten things back on track. Are there any specific things about the courses of action you could share for others in a similar situation?