Wow, thanks for all the responses
Quote:
|
I'm under the impression that a LOT of women can't orgasm from penetration alone, including me. Is this a big hang-up for you (if so, why?).
|
Not at all, just figured I couldn't really supply too much information. I don't really think that she has an issue with it either, as she still loves the feeling of me inside her.
Quote:
|
And damn, you already have the ring to ask her to marry you? I'd say try relationship or even sex counseling first, to make sure that you guys will be compatible in the long run... at 21 I hope you aren't in THAT big of a rush.
|
Lol, I wouldn't really call being together five years and me
thinking about asking her to marry me a rush, but I understand your point. We certainly won't be rushing into anything - we've talked rather extensively on this topic, actually. We know that we were young when we started dating, which is why we haven't jumped into anything quite yet.
Quote:
|
This comes back to the age old problem of non-communication
|
Well, we have spoken about our lack of sex as well, but everytime it comes up she feels as though it is all her fault and that she isn't satisfying my every need. It's difficult, because I don't think she can ever really talk non-emotionally about out difference in sexual drive. When I say "Is there anything that we can try to increase your libido?" She hears "Why can't we have sex more often... It's YOUR fault that we aren't"
To be honest, I don't think that she would ever admit it, and I could certainly be wrong, but I'd bet that it is pretty damn similar to that.
Quote:
|
Think about it dude- you wanna marry this girl, you love her, you have the ring. Do you REALLY want to only be having sex 1-2 times a month? Don't answer from your dick, but from your heart- how would you feel, on an intimate and personal level, if you only got the chance to sexually connect with your wife once a fortnight? PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE talk to her, tell her how you feel, and ask her if she'd consider other options for BC- and that you're there for her no matter what.
|
Do I WANT to have sex only 1-2 times a month? No, not at all. Would I to stay with her? Yes. Sex is certainly important, and I say the above the with optimism that comes from only being 21 and having your whole life ahead of you. Those are mighty brave words, saying that I would be alright with having sex only 1-2 times a month, but in reality I understand that it may cause potentially severe issues in the future. Ideally, we'll be able to come to some sort of conclusion to this problem before becoming engaged and and all that, but I'd be willing to sacrifice for her.
Quote:
|
In fact, your drive, your interest in her, and your enthuiasm are actually a very important part of who you are. And whether or not you get laid, she probably loves you for it. Rather than always poking, try offering her a few nights of no pressure, backrubs etc. Reassure her that it is not only about getting off. Under less pressure and reassurance, she may respond.
|
Agreed, I have attempted this and hope that I have been fairly successful with giving her a no-pressure environment most of the time. I offer backrubs, massages, I'll draw a bath for her and wait on her hand and foot usually once every couple of months, but to no avail.
In addition, to encourage ANY sexual behavior from her, we made a new "rule." The "rule" basically says that if for whatever reason, if either one of us is unable to have sex (typically I last awhile) because one of us works early the next morning, is pretty tired but still want a bit of gratification, ect. that we simply ask the other person for oral sex, without being expected to do anything in return. I have only utilized this once, just mainly to show her that it was o.k for her to ask it of me - which she has. So whenever she is a bit frisky, but doesn't have the time/energy for full blown sex, I just go down on her and that's that, without any need to return the favor. Granted, usually when we are finished I am more riled up than ever, but I adhere strictly to the no-pressure for any reciprication aspect of it simply hoping that it will hopefully peak her interest in sex again...