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Jesseboy - my two cents and 20 years of marriage tell me that one thing you need to realize - is that you should stop beating yourself up. you mention many times - you feel like an asshole, a dick, your problem etc.
Stop that part. You're fine.
In fact, your drive, your interest in her, and your enthuiasm are actually a very important part of who you are. And whether or not you get laid, she probably loves you for it. Rather than always poking, try offering her a few nights of no pressure, backrubs etc. Reassure her that it is not only about getting off. Under less pressure and reassurance, she may respond.
Anyhow, I think you are very mature for recognizing the significant impact sex drive compatibilty can have in a relationship.
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"Once made equal to a man, woman becomes his superior." Socrates
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