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This comes back to the age old problem of non-communication. I have said this many times on this board. A woman's sexuality is much different than ours is. My sex life after 14 years of marriage is more intense than it ever was early on. She gets lubrciated very easily and turned on very easy now. She used to feel a ton of guilt over sex and now she gets into it. The major reason for this change? We started talking in a more focused way. Men and women just communicate differently. There are a ton of books out there that discuss what men say vs. what women hear and vice versa. Read one of these and learn about how to effectively talk to her.
Once you two can talk intimately without it leading to sex, you will find that not only are you turned on more frequently but she will be to. Men's sexual drive is more physical certainly, but I find that I am much more into it when I have this intense mental connection with my wife. My wife and I talk and touch frequently. She says our marriage is more like what she reads in a romance novel now except we achieved it after years of marriage rather than instantly.
P.S. Birth control can also certainly have an effect on a woman's sexual libido, and you should check that out. However, I feel that the main problem here is just that you two aren't communicating. Don't talk to her about how you aren't having enough sex. Instead talk to her about herself, her day, your day, your deepest feelings, etc. You will be amazed at the reaction I think.
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