Well shut my mouth and tie me to a fuckin' possum. I ain't had me such a hoot and holler since my sister Lulubell wrecked her hairdo in the ceiling fan at Stubbys Honkey Tonk. Y'all'arn't fixin to tell me how I should ought to work my fuckin' jaw, there, are y'all? Cause I ain't had such a rip-roaring time since the last time the old lady and me got nekkind and clambered ourselves up in the satellite dish with a pat o' lard and a powerful appetite for some good ol' southern-fride backdoor fuckin'.

Harrumph. Fuck. Being as I originate in the civilized portion of this fair nation, I can only keep that up for so long before I am compelled to shop for deck shoes at LL Bean. I'm hoping you and your wife, sister, aunt, and daughter are both in the finest of fucking fettle.

/ Ahh, Chumley, I understand that the Martinis at Brown Thompson are to die for. Shall we adjourn thither forthwith? Fuckin' A.

Dude, seriously... what the fuck was that rant?

I'm sooooo fucking tired that I can't even think straight. Tried a single glass of red wine and a bath to kill the fucking pain from the hole in my cheek and now I'm so wired I dunno if I'll fucking sleep at all tonight. Crimony fucking crap.
So much for my mental fucking health day. Sheesh.

fuck me; got a new computer...

wow...........lotta fuckin' bullshit talk fuckin' goin' on here......

I love the fucking southern accent. It's like fucking Yiddish for humor value.

Fuck all them rootin-tootin' accents! Fuck 'em all, I say!

http://i196.photobucket.com/albums/a...22/ysguns2.gif

Fuckin razzle snazzle sniggin snaggin varmits!

You people arn't fucking right, but you are just the right amount of crazy I fucking like.

"That ther' boy ain't right."

my new fucking computer with windows 7 fucking rocks!!! i even got the fucking webcam to work in fucking tinychat! i am so fucking ugly...

Awwwww UP, you are one pretty motherfucker, don't let anyone tell you any fucking different.

I fucking missed Uncle Phil on webcam? This really Fucking sucks!!

Foghorn fucking leghorn, I say...

Pay attention boy! I'm cutting, but you ain't bleedin!
Nice boy, but about as sharp as a sack full of wet mice.

Eden, nun uf these here peoples is fuckin' raht.

Fuck Florida-Georgia football and the motherfuckers running around the neighborhood with airhorns. We can hear the game from here, but they can't fucking hear you, dumbshit redneck! The fucking stadium is like 3 miles from here but the river carries the noise... not so for fucking idiot airhorns. What I wouldn't fucking do to be able to eat a piece of dark candy corn. sigh

fuckin' 22 years with my woman today...wooooooooooohooooooooooo


fuck yeah!!!!!!!!!!!!

fuckin' congrats, fly...

Definite fucking congratulations flying around.... for fly and his anniversary, for phil and his launch into the 21st century of webcamming, and eden for bucking his redneck-hobbit heritage.

Fuck my boss for calling this morning to reschedule the fucking admission that I went in to work an hour post-orthodontia to do and it was rescheduled to this morning and now postponed. Seriously, my ONE fucking day per year to get an hour of sleep back and I was up at 7-fucking-o'clock to get ready for this thing only to hear at 8:30 that his allergies are fucked up and he can't go. Which means a 7 fucking p.m. admission at some point this week. In the fucking ghetto. Fuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhccccccccccccckkk me.
At least the fucking holiday is over. Now back to my regularly scheduled fucking program.

fuckin' thanks guys..........it was a good FUCKING evening.......

Fuckin' A, Fly! Well done. Just passed 15 myself. Must be a fucking awesome woman you have there.

Congrats FLY! Fucking A man that's a long time! If someone can look at the HAIRY fucking ass for 22 years, she has to be a good fucking woman!

*****

Chat was motherfucking crazy last night, to bad I fucking passed out early.

fuck, just fuck...

that was fuckin' fun... :)

Don't let the fuckin' darkness in your head...........




*new fuckin' Blue Rodeo tune comin' out on the 10th i think..........fuck yeah!!!!!!!!!!!!!




check the Blue Road dvd of them............fucking killer..........

Sorry 'bout being fuckin' late, Fly.
Fuckin' congrats to you and the missus on keeping it fuckin' great, you fucker! :thumbsup:

fucking monday already...

i fuckin' hear ya' phil......it is fucking monday already






fuckin' thanks eh Fre

FUCK MONDAYS! I think I say this every fucking Monday.

I got a weird fucking call yesterday, the owner of this company: Xodus Information Service called me for a fucking phone interview on a Sunday. He fucking explained that he was overworked and yesterday was his first chance to call people. I wasn't high or fucking drunk so I told him I could talk then. The fucking job sounds alot better than what I fucking do now (almost twice the money plus benefits), only downside being that it's in a small fucking farming town in between alot of major cities.

I don't know if I should be fucking wary or not.

got most of my fucking bitch work done today, since i fucking worked every fucking day last week (i'm retired, right?) and fucking golfed saturday and sunday...

now all i have left to do is get aunt phil's fucking 4-runner serviced...

i fuckin' hear ya' phil.......i gotta drop 1200 bones for the tires all around on the missus' fucking 4X4 .....like does it ever fucking end..........???????

No. It never fucking ends. Until it's all fucking over.

holy fuck is it early.........can't believe i gotta fucking start this time of the fucking morning

it's "fuck me" tuesday...

Oh, it's a day of six hours of meetings... with the CEO, with my "team".... I'm definitely getting fucked today. :lol:

On a side note... being a girl can be really fucking fun sometimes. I totally suck at this flirting thing but Hot Coffee Guy is a total fucking trip. Fuckin' A. or "eh"... just for fly.

fuckin' eh baby..........

Fuck!

And now, stay tuned for important announcements from these sponsors.

Fuck sponsors! Fuck important annoucements, too. We don't need no fucking important announcements; we got fucking pointless annoucements.

Fuck time changes. Makes the fucking work day seem fucking longer...

Fuck time changes.
Fuck Benjamen Franklin for thinking of it.
Fuck the US gov for putting it into action during WWII in order to make people work more hours to make more bombs.
FUCK BEING DARK AFTER WORK!

me/ shakes his fucking head...

Now now phil, I am not fucking bashing the US gov, I'm fucking bashing TIME CHANGE. Plus, I would NEVER bash fucking Ben Franklin, he was a fucking genius! He made some of the greatest fucking inventions to this date that we still fucking use everyday.

So back on off with your fucking head shaking. Don't make me come down to fucking Florida and call the old man out.

drive to fucking work in the dark.........drive fucking home in the dark.


i fucking love fall...........

fuckin' hump day...