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Old 04-30-2009, 10:05 AM   #481 (permalink)
Junkie
 
Location: My head.
Does this dress make me look fat?
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Old 05-01-2009, 11:26 AM   #482 (permalink)
comfortably numb...
 
uncle phil's Avatar
 
Super Moderator
Location: upstate
and the winner is:

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jehu View Post
As the tycoon's young widow leaves the funeral...

"That's the vulture I was telling you about."

"This is an ostrich, not a vulture." says the widow.

"I was talking to the ostrich."
__________________
"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
-----------------------------------------
"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
-----------------------------------------
never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.
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Old 05-01-2009, 12:11 PM   #483 (permalink)
Upright
 
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Location: Reno
I'll use one of my own this time...

See you next Friday.
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Old 05-01-2009, 12:36 PM   #484 (permalink)
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Location: Toronto
"Well," Steve thought, "...at least my Killer has a fine sense of aesthetics."
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Building an artificial intelligence that appreciates Mozart is easy. Building an A.I. that appreciates a theme restaurant is the real challenge - Kit Roebuck - Nine Planets Without Intelligent Life
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Old 05-01-2009, 05:15 PM   #485 (permalink)
 
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Location: ❤
"Ode to finesse and a whetstone."
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Old 05-02-2009, 06:41 AM   #486 (permalink)
Minion of the scaléd ones
 
Tophat665's Avatar
 
Location: Northeast Jesusland
Isn't that just like a Wop? Brings a knife to a gunfight.
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Light a man a fire, and he will be warm while it burns.
Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.
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Old 05-02-2009, 05:42 PM   #487 (permalink)
Junkie
 
Location: My head.
Shit, mum's gonna be so angry!!
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Old 05-03-2009, 05:15 AM   #488 (permalink)
The Reforms
 
Jetée's Avatar
 
Location: Rarely, if ever, here or there, but always in transition
I've come to you to aid you with your artwork, dear brother, with my special crayon color, 'muted melancholy'.
__________________
As human beings, our greatness lies not so much in being able to remake the world (that is the myth of the Atomic Age) as in being able to remake ourselves.
Mohandas K. Gandhi
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Old 05-03-2009, 12:43 PM   #489 (permalink)
Junkie
 
Location: My head.
I know that bullet landed here somewhere!!
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Old 05-08-2009, 06:38 AM   #490 (permalink)
Upright
 
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Location: Reno
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tophat665 View Post
Isn't that just like a Wop? Brings a knife to a gunfight.
You go Tophat...

(I'm partial to the Sean Connery quote)
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Old 05-08-2009, 06:52 AM   #491 (permalink)
Minion of the scaléd ones
 
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Location: Northeast Jesusland
Right-o. Much grass, Jehu.
Try this one out:
__________________
Light a man a fire, and he will be warm while it burns.
Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.
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Old 05-08-2009, 07:22 AM   #492 (permalink)
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Location: The next town over
A new species of goldfish bred to be specifically marketed to men who love breast implants.
__________________
"All it takes to make a difference is the courage to stop proving 'I was right' in being unable to make a difference, to stop assigning cause for my inability to the circumstances outside myself, to be willing to have been that way, and to see that the fear of being a failure is a lot less important that the unique opportunity I have to make a difference."

-Werner Erhard
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Old 05-08-2009, 09:32 AM   #493 (permalink)
Upright
 
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Location: Reno
OWWWW!!!! My eyeballs are cramping!!!
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Old 05-08-2009, 12:04 PM   #494 (permalink)
comfortably numb...
 
uncle phil's Avatar
 
Super Moderator
Location: upstate
"i've never been to spain, but i've been to oklahoma..."
__________________
"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
-----------------------------------------
"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
-----------------------------------------
never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.
uncle phil is offline  
Old 05-12-2009, 05:52 PM   #495 (permalink)
Junkie
 
Location: My head.
OMG, those tits are after me!!!
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Old 05-15-2009, 04:52 PM   #496 (permalink)
Junkie
 
Location: My head.
Would you look at the tan on that one, what a catch!!
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Old 05-15-2009, 04:58 PM   #497 (permalink)
Minion of the scaléd ones
 
Tophat665's Avatar
 
Location: Northeast Jesusland
Day 7, and it's to Coldhands...
(I'm a sucker for breast references)
__________________
Light a man a fire, and he will be warm while it burns.
Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.
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Old 05-16-2009, 04:27 AM   #498 (permalink)
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Location: The next town over
thanks...

try this one....

__________________
"All it takes to make a difference is the courage to stop proving 'I was right' in being unable to make a difference, to stop assigning cause for my inability to the circumstances outside myself, to be willing to have been that way, and to see that the fear of being a failure is a lot less important that the unique opportunity I have to make a difference."

-Werner Erhard
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Old 05-16-2009, 05:00 AM   #499 (permalink)
Cheers
 
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Location: Eastcoast USA
"So what if i lost a button...at least i haven't lost my head over it."
__________________
..."Say what you think. Those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind" ~ Dr. Seuss
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Old 05-16-2009, 06:27 AM   #500 (permalink)
Minion of the scaléd ones
 
Tophat665's Avatar
 
Location: Northeast Jesusland
Shit! Another one! Quick, guys! Cut his Head off!
__________________
Light a man a fire, and he will be warm while it burns.
Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.
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Old 05-20-2009, 06:04 PM   #501 (permalink)
The Reforms
 
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Location: Rarely, if ever, here or there, but always in transition
It was inevitable that eventually Steve Young's head would become too big for his body;
as soon as he stopped praising his exploits, the excess hot air had no choice but to accumulate within himself.
__________________
As human beings, our greatness lies not so much in being able to remake the world (that is the myth of the Atomic Age) as in being able to remake ourselves.
Mohandas K. Gandhi
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Old 05-21-2009, 03:04 AM   #502 (permalink)
comfortably numb...
 
uncle phil's Avatar
 
Super Moderator
Location: upstate
the mood was somber in the mascots locker room...
__________________
"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
-----------------------------------------
"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
-----------------------------------------
never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.
uncle phil is offline  
Old 05-21-2009, 06:43 AM   #503 (permalink)
Upright
 
Jehu's Avatar
 
Location: Reno
Don't ya' just hate it when the 9ers win?
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Old 05-23-2009, 04:41 PM   #504 (permalink)
Addict
 
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Location: The next town over
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jehu View Post
Don't ya' just hate it when the 9ers win?
A day late, but a winner declaired. Go ahead Jehu....
__________________
"All it takes to make a difference is the courage to stop proving 'I was right' in being unable to make a difference, to stop assigning cause for my inability to the circumstances outside myself, to be willing to have been that way, and to see that the fear of being a failure is a lot less important that the unique opportunity I have to make a difference."

-Werner Erhard
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Old 05-23-2009, 05:47 PM   #505 (permalink)
Upright
 
Jehu's Avatar
 
Location: Reno
How about...



Until next Friday....
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Old 05-23-2009, 08:57 PM   #506 (permalink)
Minion of the scaléd ones
 
Tophat665's Avatar
 
Location: Northeast Jesusland
When the wedding kiss turns into a snowballing.
/ One ticket to hell please.
__________________
Light a man a fire, and he will be warm while it burns.
Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.
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Old 05-24-2009, 02:36 AM   #507 (permalink)
comfortably numb...
 
uncle phil's Avatar
 
Super Moderator
Location: upstate
come back, honey; you missed a spot...
__________________
"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
-----------------------------------------
"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
-----------------------------------------
never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.
uncle phil is offline  
Old 05-24-2009, 11:20 AM   #508 (permalink)
Addict
 
coldhands's Avatar
 
Location: The next town over
hope the cake was worth it, I am taking half of what you own and I am outta here...sucker
__________________
"All it takes to make a difference is the courage to stop proving 'I was right' in being unable to make a difference, to stop assigning cause for my inability to the circumstances outside myself, to be willing to have been that way, and to see that the fear of being a failure is a lot less important that the unique opportunity I have to make a difference."

-Werner Erhard
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Old 05-25-2009, 12:59 PM   #509 (permalink)
Junkie
 
Location: My head.
OMG, look at the cute puppy!!!
Xerxys is offline  
Old 06-01-2009, 06:48 AM   #510 (permalink)
Upright
 
Jehu's Avatar
 
Location: Reno
Go Coldhands...
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Old 06-01-2009, 07:52 AM   #511 (permalink)
Addict
 
coldhands's Avatar
 
Location: The next town over
thanks.....

try this...

__________________
"All it takes to make a difference is the courage to stop proving 'I was right' in being unable to make a difference, to stop assigning cause for my inability to the circumstances outside myself, to be willing to have been that way, and to see that the fear of being a failure is a lot less important that the unique opportunity I have to make a difference."

-Werner Erhard

Last edited by coldhands; 06-01-2009 at 07:55 AM..
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Old 06-01-2009, 08:05 AM   #512 (permalink)
Functionally Appropriate
 
fresnelly's Avatar
 
Location: Toronto
"...We're going to California and Texas and New York! And we're going to South Dakota and Oregon and Washington and Michigan! And then we're going to Washington D.C. to take back the White House! YEEEAAH!!!"
__________________
Building an artificial intelligence that appreciates Mozart is easy. Building an A.I. that appreciates a theme restaurant is the real challenge - Kit Roebuck - Nine Planets Without Intelligent Life

Last edited by fresnelly; 06-01-2009 at 08:08 AM..
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Old 06-01-2009, 08:18 AM   #513 (permalink)
Minion of the scaléd ones
 
Tophat665's Avatar
 
Location: Northeast Jesusland
When Tucker Carlson gets home and takes off his skin...
__________________
Light a man a fire, and he will be warm while it burns.
Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.
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Old 06-03-2009, 12:05 PM   #514 (permalink)
Cheers
 
Shell's Avatar
 
Location: Eastcoast USA
“O! beware, my lord, of jealousy;
It is the GREEN-EYED MONSTER which
doth mock the meat it feeds on."
~ shakespeare
__________________
..."Say what you think. Those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind" ~ Dr. Seuss

Last edited by Shell; 06-03-2009 at 12:15 PM.. Reason: Added Caps
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Old 06-04-2009, 06:33 AM   #515 (permalink)
Upright
 
Jehu's Avatar
 
Location: Reno
IGOR!!!!!!! That was the wrong switch!!!!!!!
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Old 06-04-2009, 11:18 AM   #516 (permalink)
Crazy
 
carrot glace's Avatar
 
Location: orange county
aslans stand in tryouts werent as productive as hoped
__________________
"blaine is a pain and that is the truth"
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Old 06-08-2009, 03:35 AM   #517 (permalink)
Addict
 
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Location: The next town over
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jehu View Post
IGOR!!!!!!! That was the wrong switch!!!!!!!
jehu, you take this round.
__________________
"All it takes to make a difference is the courage to stop proving 'I was right' in being unable to make a difference, to stop assigning cause for my inability to the circumstances outside myself, to be willing to have been that way, and to see that the fear of being a failure is a lot less important that the unique opportunity I have to make a difference."

-Werner Erhard
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Old 06-08-2009, 06:33 AM   #518 (permalink)
Upright
 
Jehu's Avatar
 
Location: Reno
Thanks,

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Old 06-08-2009, 07:28 AM   #519 (permalink)
comfortably numb...
 
uncle phil's Avatar
 
Super Moderator
Location: upstate
"rollin', rollin', rollin down the ri-ver..."
__________________
"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
-----------------------------------------
"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
-----------------------------------------
never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.
uncle phil is offline  
Old 06-08-2009, 07:46 AM   #520 (permalink)
Functionally Appropriate
 
fresnelly's Avatar
 
Location: Toronto
To Cuba!
__________________
Building an artificial intelligence that appreciates Mozart is easy. Building an A.I. that appreciates a theme restaurant is the real challenge - Kit Roebuck - Nine Planets Without Intelligent Life
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