Anonymous Member

I just wonder if the legality of it really stops people at all. Seems like more and more my patience wears thin with people, I'm seriously at the point where I feel I could just snap and put their head through a wall or 2 and flee the scene. It's mostly people who don't even know my name but have no problems trying to start trouble with me.

telekinetic

I would suggest that people who do as you are implying you'd like to and inflict random violence on others, are not, in fact, adults, but overgrown children.

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twisted no more

Xerxys

^^ Yup and beating up kids always lands you in trouble because they will run bawling to the cops and tell a wonderful story about how you attacked them from the blue.

Adults don't get into physical altercations except for self defense for a reason.

HamiC

Strictly self-defense...and it scared the crap out of me. Thankfully, ended in a bit of a stalemate with both of us too tired to continue. I do not recommend.

Fire

I dont recommend it, I work part time security here and there, and have done some higher risk stuff, and been in a few fights as a consequence...no "real " fight is a good thing... people do not just get up and walk off after, and some may never walk ever again... being as I was the security there have never been legal ramifications for me, but It is never fun, and once you see someone maimed, you suddenly have an understanding that fights are not in fact cool, like the movies or anything else but dangerous and terrifying - eventually the terrifying part goes away, but it is amazing how something like a beer bottle can fuck your shit up in an instant, and how sometimes how good you are in a fight has nothing to do with whether you get hurt, sometimes its just luck...... so I try my best to avoid them, and would recommend that to anyone.... If you have to fight, cheat, and do your best to end it quickly......

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Thought the harder, Heart the bolder,
Mood the more as our might lessens

Wes Mantooth

Probably 3 maybe 4 that I can remember since I became an adult, all in self defense, but I don't know if "fight" is really the right word...skirmishes?

I spend a LOT of time working in clubs and bars so its only a matter of time before some belligerent drunk accosts you because they think you've been looking at their girlfriend, bumped into them on purpose or something equally stupid. Since getting into fights is pretty dumb I usually do what I can to defuse the situation, I'll apologize (even if its not my fault) or buy somebody a drink to calm things down but it doesn't always work and you have to defend yourself. Of course in these situations usually the person accosting me is so drunk they can barely stand up so you can imagine how uneventful the "fight" really is before people step in.

Anyway I wouldn't recommend it (unless you absolutely can't avoid it) either, a blow of any sort can do some serious damage if done properly (or improperly for that matter) and god forbid somebody pulls a knife or a gun. I honestly don't fully know the legal aspects of it but I would assume assult charges amongst other things (depending on how out of hand it gets) would be brought up, arrests, jail time, fines, court costs, records, hospital bills, lawsuits...I don't know it just doesn't seem worth it to me.

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Redlemon

Psychological help. Get some.

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I can't read your signature. Sorry.

Cynthetiq

yeah, specifically anger management.

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I don't care if you are black, white, purple, green, Chinese, Japanese, Korean, hippie, cop, bum, admin, user, English, Irish, French, Catholic, Protestant, Jewish, Buddhist, Muslim, indian, cowboy, tall, short, fat, skinny, emo, punk, mod, rocker, straight, gay, lesbian, jock, nerd, geek, Democrat, Republican, Libertarian, Independent, driver, pedestrian, or bicyclist, either you're an asshole or you're not.

Glory's Sun

There's a difference between a bar fight and just snapping because you're patience is thin. You need help.

cj2112

Here's the deal. I avoid physical confrontation. Many times at the cost of my ego. However, that does not mean I am afraid, or lack confidence in my abilities. I am fairly confident that in most physical altercations, I will come out the victor. The problem with getting involved with one means I will hurt the other person. I'm not going to stand there and trade punches. I am going to remove the other persons ability to injure me as soon as I can, and I'm going to be damn sure they don't get back up when I walk away. I must assume that the other party intends to seriously injure me if given the opportunity, so I'm not going to give them that chance if I can help it. Such a situation means that I will not "get away" with it, and that I have a responsibility to call for medical aid for the other party, and talk with the police when the arrive. Honestly, I don't ever want to hurt anybody that bad, nor do I want deal with the fall out from doing so. Unless my life, or the life of somebody else is in immediate danger, I'm not going to go there.

If you are serious about feeling this way over somebody "trying to start trouble" with you, then please get help.

Plan9

Mmmm, yes, another "Violence doesn't solve anything!" thread. Turns out violent ideation isn't necessarily a sign of psychological problems. Actually, I hear it's pretty normal as a release mechanism... or so I've deduced from listening to my peers talk about wanting to punch their bosses in the face for the last decade. During this period of time I've witnessed 0.0 incidents of boss-face-punching so I'd say it's just venting. This thread could be such.

As far as the OP: I'd imagine the its-against-the-law thing is only a small slice of why people don't haul off and punch other people in the face over petty crap. Bigger slices of this Falling Down pie would be the action threshold aka "I'm too much of a pussy to really do something," and the common cognitive landscape in society that state that fighting is bad/wrong/evil. Many of the would-be fighters I've run into were more interested in the Who's Dick is Bigger?! (TM) chest-thumping pride dance instead of actually fighting. Shit-talking and shoving are far more common than straight out brawling.

That being said... walking around like you're some type of knuckle-throwing time bomb is unhealthy. Get a hobby, a blowjob, and chill the fuck out.

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Whatever you can carry.

"You should not drink... and bake."

cj2112

Plan 9: You're right.
I made a judgment based on who I think the OP really is. If the OP is who I think it is, then I stand by my statement to please get help. If not, go take your aggressions out at the range, the gym, take surfing lessons, smoke a joint, do something to help you relax.

ratbastid

I ended an altercation that was headed toward a fight by buying my antagonist a drink. Best move I could have made in the circumstances. I said, literally, "Hey, man. I'm sorry. What are you drinking?"

I'm much bigger than the guy. I don't have a lot of experience as a fighter, but I probably could have just sat on him until the cops got there. Instead I spent a couple bucks to chill him out. We see each other there occasionally and wave cordially. That was as close as I've ever come to fighting as an adult.

Cynthetiq

Here you go, here's an example of how someone tried to say sorry for doing something stupid and ended up dead. It could be like rat said, but maybe not. The OP may try that in their neck of the woods, but here in NYC, you just never know. One lady getting mugged not too far from my neighborhood said to the assailant, "What you going to do shoot me?" Those were her last words.

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I don't care if you are black, white, purple, green, Chinese, Japanese, Korean, hippie, cop, bum, admin, user, English, Irish, French, Catholic, Protestant, Jewish, Buddhist, Muslim, indian, cowboy, tall, short, fat, skinny, emo, punk, mod, rocker, straight, gay, lesbian, jock, nerd, geek, Democrat, Republican, Libertarian, Independent, driver, pedestrian, or bicyclist, either you're an asshole or you're not.

Wes Mantooth

Its like that all over the place from my experience Cynthetiq, there are just people out there that are going to do respond with violence no matter what you say or do, its just who they are. I would argue however that based on my own personal experiences a simple apology or doing something to smooth the situation over (like buying a drink) usually defuses the fight before it gets out of hand.

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FuglyStick

Lot's of 'em. Worked as a bouncer for 4 or 5 years after I got out of the Army.

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AZIZ! LIGHT!

Anonymous Member

Personally, for me, if I wanted to get in to a fight with someone, it's not because of a senseless reason like what cyn just posted.

I'm a very patient person, it takes a lot to make me want to lash out physically, this also means I build it up more so that when it does become the tipping point, it's usually overkill time.

I dunno, I feel like that, it could just be some twenty something on the internet talking shit about my background, calling me a hick, insulting my taste in music, telling me I'm stupid, making assumptions about my sex life, making assumptions about my endowment, calling me fat, calling me a faggot, doing everything within their power to try and hurt me with words, in a public venue hiding behind anonymity that doesn't exist because I know who the person is. I wonder why it's not fair to hurt them physically in return. Just because a line of text in some papers stored off in a court somewhere says so. What power does that text really have over me and my ability to avoid the authorities over an act of deserved vigilante justice?

I don't see why the law would protect hateful/hurtful individuals with some sort of mental defect/complex that makes them act like your typical mouthbreathing troll, only the variety that tries to make things much much more personal.

It's people like that that make me feel enabled to act as an agent of teaching a life lesson of putting your money where your mouth is.

nothing will come of it, it just made me wonder how often and likely people get away with it when they do decide to lash out.

Obviously people like this weren't beaten enough by their parents, it almost feels like my civic duty to do it for society's sake.

#superherosyndrome

Plan9

Well, it wouldn't stop at you. Which is why we have rules.

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Whatever you can carry.

"You should not drink... and bake."

Wes Mantooth

Would you really want to live in a society that allows people to enact vigilante justice every time they feel wronged, or because somebody hurt their feelings? I'm sure that would work out REALLY well.

I think the bigger question is why do you feel the need to respond with violence because of what somebody said to or about you? I don't know, when I was a kid that sort of stuff bothered me, as an adult it rolls off my back because...well...I'm not bothered by childish things like name calling anymore. Just think about the mentality of somebody who feels the need to talk to you that way, are they really worth any of your time? Is it really worth descending to their level? If you do does it make you any better then they are?

Seriously you're in for a rough ride in life if you let every loudmouthed idiot get under your skin. You have to let stuff like that go before it eats you alive.

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Redlemon

Anon, reread those two sentences. I think you'll find that you listed a large number of senseless reasons.

There's a tasteless picture regarding arguing on the internet. I dislike the cruelty of the message, but it might help you out here, so I will include it nonetheless.


Finally, what are you doing visiting webforums where people insult your mother and your dick size?

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I can't read your signature. Sorry.

Plan9

...but this is the only reason I stay at TFP.

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Whatever you can carry.

"You should not drink... and bake."

ratbastid

That's not what your mom said.

(That was poor, but it's all I've got. Which... is also what your mother said. Zing, sorta.)

Plan9

You sonuvabitch!

That's better. Now c'mere so I can punch you in the face and then go home and write about it in my blog using purple text on a black background.

...

So... uh... anybody actually have something good regarding the OP?

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Whatever you can carry.

"You should not drink... and bake."

ratbastid

You evil, evil bastard.

Come here and show me that to my face so I can pussy out and buy you a beer.

Plan9

Hey, you're right. Why fight when we can trade girlfriends?

/man problems solved

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Whatever you can carry.

"You should not drink... and bake."

World's King

I've been in a lot of fights as an adult. Gotten my shit rocked... and I've inflicted some pretty bad damage on others. Some deserved it... some most likely didn't.

As I've gotten older I've calmed down a lot and learned how to resolve heated situations without violence. Like Ratbastid said, an offer of a drink can be just what is needed. Or to simply walk away and ignore the issue. Ten years ago I would have never walked away from a fight. I would be the first one to throw a punch or swing a bat.

Some times you have to see the worst in yourself before you can find the good.

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heavy is the head that wears the crown

Toaster126

Some people legitimately deserve taking an ass whooping.

Those people are murders, rapists, child diddlers, etc... not drunk assholes in bars or whatever.

That being said, I've definitely told people that if their actions continued/if they ever did that to me, they would be taking a beating. So far, no one has been willing to go further than that with me. When you say things like that, you do also have to be willing to back them up and/or deal with the consequences of your actions.

You really need to pick your battles. Pride or being a tough guy is not important. Most of the fights I've seen as an adult are just two pricks that didn't want to back down in front of their peeps so they end up half-heartedly shoving until someone breaks it up.

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"The question isn't who is going to let me, it's who is going to stop me." (Ayn Rand)
"The truth is that our finest moments are most likely to occur when we are feeling deeply uncomfortable, unhappy, or unfulfilled. For it is only in such moments, propelled by our discomfort, that we are likely to step out of our ruts and start searching for different ways or truer answers." (M. Scott Peck)

Zeraph

Couple of reasons people don't fight, and it has little to do with the law.

1. You are waaay softer than you think (and I think most people realize this deep down.) Even martial artists get this syndrome. I've known/met a lot of skillful (and mean/criminal) people, and only 1 of them (no, its not me) was actually a fighter. In other words, you will most likely get hurt...badly. Vast majority of people have no idea how painful or scary it can be. You feel like you're fighting for your life and sometimes you are.

2. When not drunk on drugs or anger we are a cowards for the most part. Most people won't accept it, but its true.

3. You probably have no skill or discipline.

So when confronted with a fight people tend to learn one of the reasons above about themselves and either not do it again or never go through with it in the first place (or go about it half-heartedly until its broken up like mentioned above.)

Getting away with it is fairly easy depending on the situation. But I'm not going to post tips on the internet.

Psychologically speaking, lol at You have it backwards. People who got beaten as a child are more likely to be the jerks you described.

Plan9

I've got it: Wear a mask.

Anonymity should free up your conscience and allow you to punch people in the face like Bruce Willis all you want around surveillance cameras.

It works for gangstas and SWAT teams... it can work for you.

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Whatever you can carry.

"You should not drink... and bake."

jnthnlllshprd

I got into a huge fight at work about a month ago. Working at an urban strip club this is nothing new, but this one was a real brawl.

I'm working in the VIP section and I see a latino guy get tackled in the DJ booth by a bouncer, with 5 other guys trying to get at the latino. I run to the booth and step between the bouncer and the 5 gangbangers, which is now apparently 12 of them. "That guy stole my chain!"... "That bitch stole my brother's chain! That fucking chain was 10 grand!"

The latino is safe under the bouncer, but the bouncer isn't safe. I'm holding my ground with 4 of these guys trying to push passed me into the booth. My manager crawls between my legs, then stands up and turns around to try to calm the guys down. They're pretty beligerent, so before long he's screaming "Get the fuck back! Get back!" I turn around and face the guys, who have stopped pushing and resorted to shouting. They approach a bit, ignoring my manager and screaming incoherently. "GET BACK! GET THE FUCK BACK NOW," I scream. By this point I'm pretty flustered. Then, one takes a swing over my head and hits my manager. So it begins.

I jump on this guy's neck, wrapping him down to the ground and into a table. We scrap for a few seconds and someone else pulls me up into an arm lock. I pull my arms free and sock him in the face. Suddenly I'm pushed hard from the side into the bar. A guy grabs the metal pole that supports the velvet rope and tries to leap over the bar, so I jump on his back and rip him off of the bar, destroying the Red Bull machine and the lining on the bar in the process. I'm choking him when someone else grabs me by the legs and drags me away, so I roll over and kick him square in the testicles. I stand up, and two people tackle me from different directions, knocking the wind out of me. Meanwhile, the bouncer is still with the latino and my manager is trying to shout something about nonviolence and brotherhood.

Things calm down for a second and a guy gets upset again, so he slaps me across the face from behind. I turn around and try to push him away, but someone behind him is pushing him towards me while flinging a beer bottle over his head. The latino is getting walked out when my GM comes to the scene (only 5 minutes late), and tries to console the 'victims'. The guy whom I'd ripped off of the bar grabs a champaigne glass and shatters it on the floor. My manager shouts "Don't be breakin' my shit!" and gets hit in the face. Then, another latino only about 5'3'', grabs my GM's arm, and my GM flips.

Next thing I know, my GM is strangling the small latino against the bar, as if in some murderous rage. Everyone steps in to defend whichever person they favor (GM or small guy), and it becomes another mob riot. Finally, FINALLY, Armed Security shows up and escorts people out. I follow the crowd to the door, huffing and pacing around like a lion. The guys get escorted to their cars at gunpoint and the shit's finally over.

Somewhere along the line I took a good kick in the ribs and a shot to the throat, but I can't remember most of it. Apparently the whole thing lasted about 15 minutes according to the dancers and waitresses. I was pissed and desperate for nicotine, but the aftermath was quite pleasant. I got a lot of credit for that one, and my Regional Manager showed up to talk to me about. Long story short, I got a hundred dollar tip and about 50 hugs.

Plan9

Hold the phone... this is good:

Maybe, but let's assume that people are aware of those hordes of white guys in navy-colored polyester outfits. Ya know, the ones with BAHD-jezz.

Speaking from experience... it's the people that have no idea what they're doing that are often the most dangerous. The nastiest injuries I've seen have come from people that have no clue that you can't (97%) easily break a beer bottle over someone's head in real life... usually much to their surprise.

"You know why God invented booze, right? To keep the Irish from taking over the world!"

In what? Anger management? I'm confused as to how this statement applies to the thread where William Foster (or, as his friends call him, D-fens) is bubbling over like a pot full of spaghetti and appears to be venting about wanting to dole out some righteous knuckle sammiches.

Awwh... *erection deflates*

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Whatever you can carry.

"You should not drink... and bake."

Xerxys

hehehehe ...

Zeraph

I generally agree with both of you.

Huh, I must be becoming more distant. I can't tell if you guys were criticizing me, making fun of me, or agreeing with me.

Anyways, I was just trying to answer the OP's questions. Unless it wasn't clear, I am all for non-violence.

Xerxys

Yeah but you said many people are usually cowards. People involved in a brawl generally aren't thinking as clearly as you posited in your earlier post.

Zeraph