Settle With or Dump the girl that I don't love? - Page 2 - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

Manic_Skafe · 01-22-2010, 02:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mirth

Damn dude, I didn't know you had a grudge against me.

A grudge against you? You've started the same thread multiples times obviously refusing the advice offered and this time around you're judgmental enough to compare women like pizzas and I'm the mean one? Get real.

The straight dope is that your perspective is all kinds of fucked up and nothing will sort it out but life experience and long bouts of introspective thought.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mirth

And I feel only Manic_Skafe was being harsh on me. The others have been very helpful.

Others may sugar coat it but my last post was based upon this thread and all of the threads you've posted before it - if you actually want out of these shit situations then grow a set, take some personal responsibility for your happiness and make your life better.

Blah.

Quote:

Originally Posted by highthief

Am I the only one who thinks the "dumpee" is going to be better off being rid of the "dumper" in this case?

That's my point exactly.

The_Jazz · 01-22-2010, 05:50 AM

Manic, you've got to teach me that trick of getting people to think that you're being overly harsh when you're not. I thought I was much harsher than you were (although I manage to stay away from suggesting mass murder this time), but you're the one who gets singled out. And that would go so far in elevating my reputation as an unfeeling lout.

And highthief - now there's at least 3 of us who think that.

Mirth - none of us has anything against you, but there are times when you seem to need to be reminded that you're an adult and are responsible for your own actions. You also have a pretty skewed view of women and relationships based on your point-by-point disection of the two you've been a part of. Do you do that with your friends?

[sigh] Here's my last piece of advice: you seem to enjoy going to this church and enjoy what it has to offer. That's good. You've identified something that you like to do. If you can't go to the same church because you've dumped this girl (which seems silly but whatever), then find one that's similar - explain the situation to the minister and get his recommendations if you need to. Go do young adult bible study or join their softball team (who cares if you're any good - it's a church softball team, not the *insert team name here*). Get to know people. Make friends.

Then again, I think Manic_Skafe and I are going to syncronise watches for your next thread with some variation of this problem. Skafe, what do you think? 4 months?

Plan9 · 01-22-2010, 05:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by highthief

Am I the only one who thinks the "dumpee" is going to be better off being rid of the "dumper" in this case?

I dunno, bro... this girl sounds like a bipedal dump-on-me sitcom. Mirth doesn't strike me as the next lead on a Win-A-Hunk reality show, but catering to what smells like a life leech with XXs is all bad.

Quote:

Originally Posted by The_Jazz

Manic, you've got to teach me that trick of getting people to think that you're being overly harsh when you're not. I thought I was much harsher than you were (although I manage to stay away from suggesting mass murder this time), but you're the one who gets singled out.

Maybe it was his sinister facial hair.

Manic_Skafe · 01-22-2010, 06:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The_Jazz

Then again, I think Manic_Skafe and I are going to syncronise watches for your next thread with some variation of this problem. Skafe, what do you think? 4 months?

I'd like to hope he fares better the next time around but it always reminds me, just like a lot of these threads do, of a point Cyn made about a year or two ago about young people in the work place (and in the world in general) always expecting special treatment and continual acknowledgment of their every accomplishment as if they world owes them anything more than those before them. I don't count myself as exempt from the same quality but damn if it only weren't so easy to spot.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Plan9

Maybe it was his sinister facial hair.

Tell that to Locks of Love.

Mirth · 01-22-2010, 06:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The_Jazz

And highthief - now there's at least 3 of us who think that.

Mirth - none of us has anything against you, but there are times when you seem to need to be reminded that you're an adult and are responsible for your own actions. You also have a pretty skewed view of women and relationships based on your point-by-point disection of the two you've been a part of. Do you do that with your friends?

[sigh] Here's my last piece of advice: you seem to enjoy going to this church and enjoy what it has to offer. That's good. You've identified something that you like to do. If you can't go to the same church because you've dumped this girl (which seems silly but whatever), then find one that's similar - explain the situation to the minister and get his recommendations if you need to. Go do young adult bible study or join their softball team (who cares if you're any good - it's a church softball team, not the *insert team name here*). Get to know people. Make friends.

Then again, I think Manic_Skafe and I are going to syncronise watches for your next thread with some variation of this problem. Skafe, what do you think? 4 months?

Heh, I don't do that with my friends, I guess because throughout my lifetime I grew up having friends. I've had 2 female friends in my entire lifetime, and one is my best friend's fiance, so I never really hang out with her one-on-one. And besides, she admits that she's just like "one of the guys", which she seems to be true, she's very non-girly. And the 2nd female friend I've ever had was this current girl.

With that said, that's why I feel I seem to be doing the point-by-point dissection, as you call it. Take this analogy, which would end up being true for most. You learn only English your whole life, and then you finally end up learning a new language in your teens (for school) or later on your own out of curiosity. When you first start learning the new language, you always compare and translate the words for example, "trabajo" = "work", "si" = "yes", "perro" = "dog". If someone is speaking to you in the new language, using the words you know, you translate each word to understand the sentence. Then, when you spend a lot of time with the new language, you stop "dissecting" every word in the sentence and just see it as a new language and not a Language-to-English translation process. It just flows naturally.

For me, women are kind of like that. I don't understand them yet. I don't understand the differences of our "languages". There have been a few times where I'd make a quick joke in front of a woman and they are like "ha...", yet my friends would be laughing like hell. I want to be natural with women, I want to see them as just people with the same things in common as me, but so far I haven't felt that way, and I'm trying to learn this 'new language' from the beginning.

Anyways, thanks for the church advice. They have the same church but on a different campus that is closer to me, so I may look into that. I actually have an "events" pamphlet from them, so I'll look at that after work and see if they have anything interesting.

Anyways, I'm saddened that many of you think that she's better off without me... Makes me feel like I'm not good enough for pretty much any woman that doesn't have some sort of mental retardation...

The_Jazz · 01-22-2010, 07:13 AM

[facepalm]

Wow, Mirth. You just don't get it, do you?

Women are kind of like humans. You know, people. They have motivations for everything they do. Whether or not they make sense *TO YOU* at the time is immaterial. Those decisions generally make sense to the decision-maker. There's not much more to understand.

Don't place all women (or all women you find attractive) on a pedistal. It's the worst thing a guy like you can do. The reason so many of us are reacting this way towards your posts is that you're missing something very basic - that, at a very fundamental level, women are exactly like men. Variations come with more complexity, but women are people who have boobs (and assorted other bits). Figure out how to deal with people and the rest sort of flows from there.

Maybe you should make it clear to this girl that you really enjoy hanging out with her and value her as a friend but that you don't see anything romantic in your mutual future. If she agrees, perhaps you have a female friend to hang with. If she doesn't agree, then you need to cut ties, because THEN you are leading her along. And that's when you'll get folks really riled up.

LoganSnake · 01-22-2010, 07:17 AM

Oh for fucks sake. I mean, I can't not reply to this any longer.

Damn, J. You're talking about the same shit you've been talking about for years, except now that you've had two girlfriend experiences, it doesn't seem like you've learned anything at all.

There is no new language. There is no culture shock. The woman either gets you or she doesn't. If she doesn't - move the fuck on. A woman is not a different species nor some kind of exotic new element (well, maybe she is to you). Just like with any other new person, you just explore each others personalities and go from there. If there is no click, then you pack your bags and move on.

How about you make a decision yourself next time? Pretty much any decision you've had to make regarding relationships whether with another male or female, you had to seek advice. Get a few bruises. It won't kill you and you will learn something. Maybe.

genuinegirly · 01-22-2010, 07:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The_Jazz

Maybe you should make it clear to this girl that you really enjoy hanging out with her and value her as a friend but that you don't see anything romantic in your mutual future. If she agrees, perhaps you have a female friend to hang with. If she doesn't agree, then you need to cut ties, because THEN you are leading her along. And that's when you'll get folks really riled up.

This is really good advice, an option I hadn't considered.

Magpie_1 · 01-22-2010, 07:27 AM

If this continues on any longer. My head is going to explode.

LoganSnake · 01-22-2010, 07:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Magpie_1

If this continues on any longer. My head is going to explode.

Now you know how I feel.

Magpie_1 · 01-22-2010, 08:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LoganSnake

Now you know how I feel.

I had no idea that this is a regular occurrence with Mirth. This is the first time I ever read one of his posts.

LoganSnake · 01-22-2010, 08:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Magpie_1

I had no idea that this is a regular occurrence with Mirth. This is the first time I ever read one of his posts.

Like an irregular period. You know it's supposed to come, but you just don't know when. Then when it does, you do a facepalm and exclaim "WHY ME!?"

Or something along those lines.

Xerxys · 01-22-2010, 08:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mirth

... Anyways, I'm saddened that many of you think that she's better off without me... Makes me feel like I'm not good enough for pretty much any woman that doesn't have some sort of mental retardation...

HA!

Yes. She is better off without you. I'm not taking a shot at you and no one else was/is either. You are a mess as it is and you definitely do not belong in any form of romantic relationship.

Good things will come to those who wait and exercising patience as well as an open mind is the best way to get there.

Something about women, they are just like everyone else. You know your buddy, the dude you hang around with everyday, drinking and playing Tekken all night? You know disturbing facts about him like what his farts smell like after he eats TacoBell and that he can gun down entire armies for a double cheese burger? Well, turns out if you hang out with a chick long enough you'll know these things about them too. As far as them making sense ... thats never gonna happen. No one on this earth makes sense besides me. Your all freaks.

Women are driven by the same things men are and getting them to like you means liking yourself. Being confident doesn't mean being content as a slob. It means you have the drive to keep your shit together. Women like that you can handle yourself. You, Mirth on the other hand, I feel your being very passive aggressive, obsessive, clingy and downright unpleasant to hang around with. You need to just chill out and get a hobby. Something you can talk about for hours on end.

LoganSnake · 01-22-2010, 08:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Xerxys

HA!

Yes. She is better off without you. I'm not taking a shot at you and no one else was/is either. You are a mess as it is and you definitely do not belong in any form of romantic relationship.

Good things will come to those who wait and exercising patience as well as an open mind is the best way to get there.

Something about women, they are just like everyone else. You know your buddy, the dude you hang around with everyday, drinking and playing Tekken all night? You know disturbing facts about him like what his farts smell like after he eats TacoBell and that he can gun down entire armies for a double cheese burger? Well, turns out if you hang out with a chick long enough you'll know these things about them too. As far as them making sense ... thats never gonna happen. No one on this earth makes sense besides me. Your all freaks.

Women are driven by the same things men are and getting them to like you means liking yourself. Being confident doesn't mean being content as a slob. It means you have the drive to keep your shit together. Women like that you can handle yourself. You, Mirth on the other hand, I feel your being very passive aggressive, obsessive, clingy and downright unpleasant to hang around with. You need to just chill out and get a hobby. Something you can talk about for hours on end.

You worded what I wanted to say in an understanding manner without profanity. I salute you.

Also, it's "You're all freaks"

</gammar nazi>

Xerxys · 01-22-2010, 08:37 AM

Also, this thread is getting out of hand. If Mirth addressed you then by all means respond but this thread is not about you so an opinion taking shots is unwarranted. One liners such as this ...

Quote:

Originally Posted by genuinegirly

This is really good advice, an option I hadn't considered.

Are excellent! Concise. Advice asked and advice given. Where as this on the other hand ...

Quote:

Originally Posted by Magpie_1

If this continues on any longer. My head is going to explode.

Quote:

Originally Posted by LoganSnake

Now you know how I feel.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Magpie_1

I had no idea that this is a regular occurrence with Mirth. This is the first time I ever read one of his posts.

Quote:

Originally Posted by LoganSnake

Like an irregular period. You know it's supposed to come, but you just don't know when. Then when it does, you do a facepalm and exclaim "WHY ME!?"

Or something along those lines.

Adds NOTHING to the convo besides a bad taste in the mouth.

---------- Post added at 11:37 AM ---------- Previous post was at 11:34 AM ----------

Quote:

Originally Posted by LoganSnake

You worded what I wanted to say in an understanding manner without profanity. I salute you.

Also, it's "You're all freaks"

</gammar nazi>

I still judge you.

Manic_Skafe · 01-22-2010, 08:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Xerxys

Women are driven by the same things men are and getting them to like you means liking yourself. Being confident doesn't mean being content as a slob. It means you have the drive to keep your shit together. Women like that you can handle yourself. You, Mirth on the other hand, I feel your being very passive aggressive, obsessive, clingy and downright unpleasant to hang around with. You need to just chill out and get a hobby. Something you can talk about for hours on end.

It's a strangely uncomfortable moment in TFP history when Xerx offers sensible advice.

Martian · 01-22-2010, 08:55 AM

This thread ended on post #6. Everything else is just fluff and fart jokes.

LoganSnake · 01-22-2010, 09:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Xerxys

Adds NOTHING to the convo besides a bad taste in the mouth.

Oh, please. Mirth knows I love him dearly.

dlish · 01-22-2010, 09:44 AM

Martian, i cant believe that you think my chess advice is fluff. im going to stop attending the same church/mosque as you one day

Mirth · 01-22-2010, 09:47 AM

In defense of myself, I have to say something about how a few of you think that I haven't learned from my past threads. I have to disagree. I do admit that in my previous threads, I would come for advice but in the end I would generally not take it, because I didn't want things to be that way, I wanted things to work themselves out... My mind gets clouded when things like these come up, and with the inexperience I have, I just get lost... I have tons of questions every day that I wonder about that I "could" ask on here, but I figure them out myself, so it's not like I post on here every 5 seconds asking random questions; just the ones I really need help with and are life threatening.

But I have learned when they didn't work out, you guys/gals were always right, like 100% of the time. And in realizing that, I "will" take the advice this time. Of course I "want" to be able to fall in love with this girl, but you guys have made a good point in everything that is wrong with it, and I see that now, so I will be taking the advice.

I'm sorry that I upset some of you that I don't think normally... But I'm taking in every piece of advice I'm reading in this thread (like The Jazz's, LoganSnake's, Xerxys' women advice) and trying to implement it into my thinking.

Quote:

Originally Posted by LoganSnake

Oh, please. Mirth knows I love him dearly.

Nuh-uh, you said you'd unblock me on AIM the day I got and met a girlfriend.

LoganSnake · 01-22-2010, 10:03 AM

Shhh. People around here seem to think I'm an okay guy.

Don't blow my cover.

The_Jazz · 01-22-2010, 10:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LoganSnake

Shhh. People around here seem to think I'm an okay guy.

I don't. But you know that.

genuinegirly · 01-22-2010, 10:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mirth

...
Nuh-uh, you said you'd unblock me on AIM the day I got and met a girlfriend.

Tough love, perhaps? That's pretty common around here.

I concur with your comment about always getting good advice from the people here on the TFP. Sometimes the advice is contradictory, but in cases like this, everyone seems to come to a consensus.

Note that many people chose to respond - far more responses than the average thread. Some responded in a harsh way, but that happens sometimes. Overall they were attempting to be respectful, even if it is in a way I don't fully understand. You're definitely not the first to face this kind of a problem on this board, and will not be the last. This thread has generated a lot of activity and interest. Remember that when you consider starting another.

LoganSnake · 01-22-2010, 10:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The_Jazz

I don't. But you know that.

And you know that the feeling is mutual.

Martian · 01-22-2010, 08:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by genuinegirly

Some responded in a harsh way, but that happens sometimes. Overall they were attempting to be respectful, even if it is in a way I don't fully understand.

Repetition or blunt force trauma. Ask Plan9 about it.

Mirth, the important thing here isn't that you follow what we tell you. You can't have your love life directed by committee. The important thing is that you understand what you're doing wrong, and learn from it.

Yeah, she's better off. You are/were committing the ultimate dick move. You weren't really interested in this girl but were keeping her around because you figured it was better than nothing.

You say you're willing to listen. Great. Now, prove it.

Mirth · 01-22-2010, 08:56 PM

I'm trying to prove I'm listening. As far as "getting out", I went to the movies tonight. I almost talked to a girl behind the ticket selling window at the movie theaters. She was doing homework, then I came up to buy my ticket, which I did, and I was about to say, "How's that homework comin'?" and then smile, cause I always smile after stupid stuff like that. Anyways, I didn't say that, but I was realllly close this time! Next time I will!

Also, I was sitting on the bench outside the mall/movies, cause I got there early and I wanted to test out just being around other people, as a start, just to get used to the feeling. They were all pretty much high schoolers. This really tall guy sat next to me while talking to the group. He later introduced himself, "Hey man. *Shakes hand-thingy* Little John." I was like, "Oh snap, I'm Little John too!" and we got excited, haha. Then he asked my age and I was like, "25 believe it or not" and he's like, "No way! Stand up!" and I did, and he stood up next to me, and I overheard the group of girls say in a quiet voice, "He's sooo little!". Normally I'd kinda get upset on the inside, but I just laughed it off. I was about to say, "I'm not little laying down", which I think is a joke about having a big johnson (which would be mostly a lie), but I didn't make the joke. Wasn't prepared yet for that part in my training.

So, I kinda got out there and attempted to be normal. Minus the going to the movies by yourself part.

I went into the bookstore in the mall too, that's closing down and has 60%-80% everything off. They had a lot of manga books left, which made me a little sad because that girl is reallllly into manga (not my thing, really) and I would have loved to see if there were any she wanted me to pick up for her. I would do something like that for a friend. But it may be too late now.

Also, as a side question... Would something like a marijuana-joint help me ease up my shyness and intimidation? One of my online buddies who smokes it says that it totally made him see the world in a different perspective ever since the first time he did it. Not sure if something like that would help me. I know having a few drinks eases me up, but I can't really drive to places then.

Edit: If anyone here lives in Florida and can personally help me too, I'd do it!

Poppinjay · 01-22-2010, 10:32 PM

Stay with her. It's better to be with somebody than alone. Obsess over her. Constantly make sexual advances, she will give in. Tell her your penis tastes like almond joys. Molest her cat. Date her mom. Pal around with her dad. Ask for her to cut the crusts off your bread.

Xerxys · 01-22-2010, 10:34 PM

Good thing you never made the "lying down joke". When talking to people, NEVER make sex jokes unless you are VERY comfortable with them and by VERY I mean hanging around them for like, I dunno, maybe 30 years? Sex jokes make people feel weirded out, awkward and uncomfortable. Laughing it off was as good as saying you compensate with your personality but no harm done there.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mirth

... One of my online buddies who smokes it says that it totally made him see the world in a different perspective ever since the first time he did it. ...

OMFG Well DUH!! It's Marijuana, any perspective is is skewed when drugs are involved. DON'T DO IT! It's illegal. Don't be dumb. Don't develop a dependency when you can't depend on your own self.

Poppinjay · 01-22-2010, 10:56 PM

Smoke pot. Drink alot. This is key. It's easy to find girlfriends in bars.

LoganSnake · 01-22-2010, 11:18 PM

Why stop at marijuana? While you're at it, mix some of that pot with crack cocaine and salvia, pop a few ecstasy pills, shoot some black tar heroin and wash it all down with a bottle of Jack Daniels.

Lady Bear Cub · 01-23-2010, 04:57 AM

Quote:

4). Embarrassment: I'm not easily embarrassed, at all, but this girl can work wonders on it. She says "Lol" or "win" after every sentence, she dances with her hands in public too much, and I don't really like to be seen with her as a couple. :\
My ex was/is a slut. Unrelated to the topic.

This made me laugh when I read it. But now that I have read this whole thread, it makes me feel bad. Mostly because you're fear of being alone is causing you to stay with someone who even you deem as embarrassing. No offense, but you have a very low opinion of yourself and yet you have a lower opinion of this girl. Why are you wasting her time? If you stay with her, you'll break up eventually and just imagine that shit storm. You'll probably grow to resent her and then you'll throw it in her face that you never loved her. If you truly don't want to hurt her, you'll end it.

I'm not sure how you personally should get to know/love yourself(which is incredibly gay) but I think it starts with realizing that everyone is fucking weird. It's not just you, so no one should make you nervous. The world's a stage, figure out who you want to be in all this bullshit and do your best to pull it off. In the long run, everyone is going to die and no one will give a shit at that point anyway.

As for feeling comfortable around people, maybe you could start by observing social situations in a non-creepy way. Again, I'm not sure how you should go about that either. Maybe people watching while you go to the bookstore. Anyway, I think that if you pay attention to people you will learn from it.

I'm afraid that smoking pot or drinking might just make your situation worse.

Also, It's very early and I couldn't sleep.

dlish · 01-23-2010, 06:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lady Bear Cub

This made me laugh when I read it. But now that I have read this whole thread, it makes me feel bad. Mostly because you're fear of being alone is causing you to stay with someone who even you deem as embarrassing. No offense, but you have a very low opinion of yourself and yet you have a lower opinion of this girl. Why are you wasting her time? If you stay with her, you'll break up eventually and just imagine that shit storm. You'll probably grow to resent her and then you'll throw it in her face that you never loved her. If you truly don't want to hurt her, you'll end it.

I'm not sure how you personally should get to know/love yourself(which is incredibly gay) but I think it starts with realizing that everyone is fucking weird. It's not just you, so no one should make you nervous. The world's a stage, figure out who you want to be in all this bullshit and do your best to pull it off. In the long run, everyone is going to die and no one will give a shit at that point anyway.

As for feeling comfortable around people, maybe you could start by observing social situations in a non-creepy way. Again, I'm not sure how you should go about that either. Maybe people watching while you go to the bookstore. Anyway, I think that if you pay attention to people you will learn from it.

I'm afraid that smoking pot or drinking might just make your situation worse.

Also, It's very early and I couldn't sleep.

i think i like LBC more than Bear Club himself now....

oh wait.. i already do!

and no, a BC exhibition thread wont help your chances BC

Poppinjay · 01-23-2010, 07:37 AM

It would probably hurt them.

Lady Bear Cub · 01-23-2010, 10:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Poppinjay

It would probably hurt them.

Every time I see your name I read it PoopinPlay. Don't Freud me. It's not true.

---------- Post added at 01:11 PM ---------- Previous post was at 01:09 PM ----------

Quote:

Originally Posted by dlish

i think i like LBC more than Bear Club himself now....

oh wait.. i already do!

and no, a BC exhibition thread wont help your chances BC

Bear is hairy. Even if he posted in exhibition, he would still appear to be fully clothed.

Poppinjay · 01-23-2010, 10:24 AM

Hmmmmmmm. I think the Freuding isn't even needed.

Plan9 · 01-23-2010, 10:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LoganSnake

Why stop at marijuana? While you're at it, mix some of that pot with crack cocaine and salvia, pop a few ecstasy pills, shoot some black tar heroin and wash it all down with a bottle of Jack Daniels.

DARE kid? Thassa my boy.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Martian

Repetition or blunt force trauma. Ask Plan9 about it.

Hooah. Airborne.

Mirth · 01-23-2010, 01:46 PM

I'm talking to her now about it. Well, not talking, texting. She can't talk on the phone at the moment, and I said we'll talk about it later but she says she'd prefer to know now. This sucks... I didn't want to do it in texts because it feels so wrong, like I'm a pussy. Now she's asking me what's wrong and why? I'm an asshole.

Edit: It's done, it's over... I don't know why I'm crying, but I am... This is the worst thing I've ever done to a human being... I feel like shit, and I'm sure she feels more like shit.... I seriously need to be punished somehow for this...

Edit: I hope God strikes me down for what I have done...

Wes Mantooth · 01-23-2010, 02:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LoganSnake

Why stop at marijuana? While you're at it, mix some of that pot with crack cocaine and salvia, pop a few ecstasy pills, shoot some black tar heroin and wash it all down with a bottle of Jack Daniels.

LoL, that's funny but the poster above you does make an interesting point. It's amazing how often I've seen people come out of their shells and start meeting people when they get going on that stuff (pot and alcohol specifically). I'm certainly not advocating it as a cure for loneliness (which would be a great way to go about messing up your life) but the stark turn around you see in some people is quite astounding. Just an observation.

The_Jazz · 01-23-2010, 02:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mirth

I'm talking to her now about it. Well, not talking, texting. She can't talk on the phone at the moment, and I said we'll talk about it later but she says she'd prefer to know now. This sucks... I didn't want to do it in texts because it feels so wrong, like I'm a pussy. Now she's asking me what's wrong and why? I'm an asshole.

Edit: It's done, it's over... I don't know why I'm crying, but I am... This is the worst thing I've ever done to a human being... I feel like shit, and I'm sure she feels more like shit.... I seriously need to be punished somehow for this...

Edit: I hope God strikes me down for what I have done...

Seriously? Dude, get a fucking grip. Short term, yeah, it kind of sucks, especially if she thought you two had a future. Long term, you're both better off without each other. Think about what would have happened if you'd reach the logical conclusion of this particular road - marriage, kids, hate each other, someone gets out a gun and then things get all shooty.

If you need to be "punished" get a bottle of whiskey and lock yourself in your apartment for the night and get nice and shittily drunk. You'll feel worse in the morning.

Cynthetiq · 01-23-2010, 03:07 PM

at least you have other famous people who also did it. goes to show you that it's just a normal way that people communicate today...you're hip! you're in the in crowd! you do the same things that they do, must make you as unique and special as them!

Carrie Underwood & Chace Crawford Broke Up Via Text Message | Carrie Underwood, Chace Crawford : Just Jared

01-22-2010, 05:50 AM	#42 (permalink)
The_Jazz Asshole Administrator Location: Chicago	Manic, you've got to teach me that trick of getting people to think that you're being overly harsh when you're not. I thought I was much harsher than you were (although I manage to stay away from suggesting mass murder this time), but you're the one who gets singled out. And that would go so far in elevating my reputation as an unfeeling lout. And highthief - now there's at least 3 of us who think that. Mirth - none of us has anything against you, but there are times when you seem to need to be reminded that you're an adult and are responsible for your own actions. You also have a pretty skewed view of women and relationships based on your point-by-point disection of the two you've been a part of. Do you do that with your friends? [sigh] Here's my last piece of advice: you seem to enjoy going to this church and enjoy what it has to offer. That's good. You've identified something that you like to do. If you can't go to the same church because you've dumped this girl (which seems silly but whatever), then find one that's similar - explain the situation to the minister and get his recommendations if you need to. Go do young adult bible study or join their softball team (who cares if you're any good - it's a church softball team, not the insert team name here). Get to know people. Make friends. Then again, I think Manic_Skafe and I are going to syncronise watches for your next thread with some variation of this problem. Skafe, what do you think? 4 months? __________________ "They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety." - B. Franklin "There ought to be limits to freedom." - George W. Bush "We have met the enemy and he is us." - Pogo

01-22-2010, 07:13 AM	#46 (permalink)
The_Jazz Asshole Administrator Location: Chicago	[facepalm] Wow, Mirth. You just don't get it, do you? Women are kind of like humans. You know, people. They have motivations for everything they do. Whether or not they make sense TO YOU at the time is immaterial. Those decisions generally make sense to the decision-maker. There's not much more to understand. Don't place all women (or all women you find attractive) on a pedistal. It's the worst thing a guy like you can do. The reason so many of us are reacting this way towards your posts is that you're missing something very basic - that, at a very fundamental level, women are exactly like men. Variations come with more complexity, but women are people who have boobs (and assorted other bits). Figure out how to deal with people and the rest sort of flows from there. Maybe you should make it clear to this girl that you really enjoy hanging out with her and value her as a friend but that you don't see anything romantic in your mutual future. If she agrees, perhaps you have a female friend to hang with. If she doesn't agree, then you need to cut ties, because THEN you are leading her along. And that's when you'll get folks really riled up. __________________ "They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety." - B. Franklin "There ought to be limits to freedom." - George W. Bush "We have met the enemy and he is us." - Pogo

01-22-2010, 07:17 AM	#47 (permalink)
LoganSnake We work alone Location: Cake Town	Oh for fucks sake. I mean, I can't not reply to this any longer. Damn, J. You're talking about the same shit you've been talking about for years, except now that you've had two girlfriend experiences, it doesn't seem like you've learned anything at all. There is no new language. There is no culture shock. The woman either gets you or she doesn't. If she doesn't - move the fuck on. A woman is not a different species nor some kind of exotic new element (well, maybe she is to you). Just like with any other new person, you just explore each others personalities and go from there. If there is no click, then you pack your bags and move on. How about you make a decision yourself next time? Pretty much any decision you've had to make regarding relationships whether with another male or female, you had to seek advice. Get a few bruises. It won't kill you and you will learn something. Maybe. __________________ Maturity is knowing you were an idiot in the past. Wisdom is knowing that you'll be an idiot in the future. Common sense is knowing that you should try not to be an idiot now. - J. Jacques

01-22-2010, 07:27 AM	#49 (permalink)
Magpie_1 Insane Location: Ontario, Canada	If this continues on any longer. My head is going to explode. __________________ "Art is what you can get away with." - Andy Warhol

01-22-2010, 08:55 AM	#57 (permalink)
Martian Young Crumudgeon Location: Canada	This thread ended on post #6. Everything else is just fluff and fart jokes. __________________ I wake up in the morning more tired than before I slept I get through cryin' and I'm sadder than before I wept I get through thinkin' now, and the thoughts have left my head I get through speakin' and I can't remember, not a word that I said - Ben Harper, Show Me A Little Shame

01-22-2010, 09:44 AM	#59 (permalink)
dlish Currently sour but formerly Dlishs Super Moderator Location: Australia/UAE	Martian, i cant believe that you think my chess advice is fluff. im going to stop attending the same church/mosque as you one day __________________ An injustice anywhere, is an injustice everywhere I always sign my facebook comments with ()()===========(}. Does that make me gay? - Filthy

01-22-2010, 10:03 AM	#61 (permalink)
LoganSnake We work alone Location: Cake Town	Shhh. People around here seem to think I'm an okay guy. Don't blow my cover. __________________ Maturity is knowing you were an idiot in the past. Wisdom is knowing that you'll be an idiot in the future. Common sense is knowing that you should try not to be an idiot now. - J. Jacques

01-22-2010, 08:56 PM	#66 (permalink)
Mirth Tilted	I'm trying to prove I'm listening. As far as "getting out", I went to the movies tonight. I almost talked to a girl behind the ticket selling window at the movie theaters. She was doing homework, then I came up to buy my ticket, which I did, and I was about to say, "How's that homework comin'?" and then smile, cause I always smile after stupid stuff like that. Anyways, I didn't say that, but I was realllly close this time! Next time I will! Also, I was sitting on the bench outside the mall/movies, cause I got there early and I wanted to test out just being around other people, as a start, just to get used to the feeling. They were all pretty much high schoolers. This really tall guy sat next to me while talking to the group. He later introduced himself, "Hey man. Shakes hand-thingy Little John." I was like, "Oh snap, I'm Little John too!" and we got excited, haha. Then he asked my age and I was like, "25 believe it or not" and he's like, "No way! Stand up!" and I did, and he stood up next to me, and I overheard the group of girls say in a quiet voice, "He's sooo little!". Normally I'd kinda get upset on the inside, but I just laughed it off. I was about to say, "I'm not little laying down", which I think is a joke about having a big johnson (which would be mostly a lie), but I didn't make the joke. Wasn't prepared yet for that part in my training. So, I kinda got out there and attempted to be normal. Minus the going to the movies by yourself part. I went into the bookstore in the mall too, that's closing down and has 60%-80% everything off. They had a lot of manga books left, which made me a little sad because that girl is reallllly into manga (not my thing, really) and I would have loved to see if there were any she wanted me to pick up for her. I would do something like that for a friend. But it may be too late now. Also, as a side question... Would something like a marijuana-joint help me ease up my shyness and intimidation? One of my online buddies who smokes it says that it totally made him see the world in a different perspective ever since the first time he did it. Not sure if something like that would help me. I know having a few drinks eases me up, but I can't really drive to places then. Edit: If anyone here lives in Florida and can personally help me too, I'd do it! Last edited by Mirth; 01-22-2010 at 09:16 PM..

01-22-2010, 10:32 PM	#67 (permalink)
Poppinjay You had me at hello Location: DC/Coastal VA	Stay with her. It's better to be with somebody than alone. Obsess over her. Constantly make sexual advances, she will give in. Tell her your penis tastes like almond joys. Molest her cat. Date her mom. Pal around with her dad. Ask for her to cut the crusts off your bread. __________________ I think the Apocalypse is happening all around us. We go on eating desserts and watching TV. I know I do. I wish we were more capable of sustained passion and sustained resistance. We should be screaming and what we do is gossip. -Lydia Millet

01-22-2010, 10:56 PM	#69 (permalink)
Poppinjay You had me at hello Location: DC/Coastal VA	Smoke pot. Drink alot. This is key. It's easy to find girlfriends in bars. __________________ I think the Apocalypse is happening all around us. We go on eating desserts and watching TV. I know I do. I wish we were more capable of sustained passion and sustained resistance. We should be screaming and what we do is gossip. -Lydia Millet

01-22-2010, 11:18 PM	#70 (permalink)
LoganSnake We work alone Location: Cake Town	Why stop at marijuana? While you're at it, mix some of that pot with crack cocaine and salvia, pop a few ecstasy pills, shoot some black tar heroin and wash it all down with a bottle of Jack Daniels. __________________ Maturity is knowing you were an idiot in the past. Wisdom is knowing that you'll be an idiot in the future. Common sense is knowing that you should try not to be an idiot now. - J. Jacques

01-23-2010, 07:37 AM	#73 (permalink)
Poppinjay You had me at hello Location: DC/Coastal VA	It would probably hurt them. __________________ I think the Apocalypse is happening all around us. We go on eating desserts and watching TV. I know I do. I wish we were more capable of sustained passion and sustained resistance. We should be screaming and what we do is gossip. -Lydia Millet

01-23-2010, 10:24 AM	#75 (permalink)
Poppinjay You had me at hello Location: DC/Coastal VA	Hmmmmmmm. I think the Freuding isn't even needed. __________________ I think the Apocalypse is happening all around us. We go on eating desserts and watching TV. I know I do. I wish we were more capable of sustained passion and sustained resistance. We should be screaming and what we do is gossip. -Lydia Millet

01-23-2010, 01:46 PM	#77 (permalink)
Mirth Tilted	I'm talking to her now about it. Well, not talking, texting. She can't talk on the phone at the moment, and I said we'll talk about it later but she says she'd prefer to know now. This sucks... I didn't want to do it in texts because it feels so wrong, like I'm a pussy. Now she's asking me what's wrong and why? I'm an asshole. Edit: It's done, it's over... I don't know why I'm crying, but I am... This is the worst thing I've ever done to a human being... I feel like shit, and I'm sure she feels more like shit.... I seriously need to be punished somehow for this... Edit: I hope God strikes me down for what I have done... Last edited by Mirth; 01-23-2010 at 02:08 PM..

01-23-2010, 03:07 PM	#80 (permalink)
Cynthetiq Tilted Cat Head Administrator Location: Manhattan, NY	at least you have other famous people who also did it. goes to show you that it's just a normal way that people communicate today...you're hip! you're in the in crowd! you do the same things that they do, must make you as unique and special as them! Carrie Underwood & Chace Crawford Broke Up Via Text Message \| Carrie Underwood, Chace Crawford : Just Jared __________________ I don't care if you are black, white, purple, green, Chinese, Japanese, Korean, hippie, cop, bum, admin, user, English, Irish, French, Catholic, Protestant, Jewish, Buddhist, Muslim, indian, cowboy, tall, short, fat, skinny, emo, punk, mod, rocker, straight, gay, lesbian, jock, nerd, geek, Democrat, Republican, Libertarian, Independent, driver, pedestrian, or bicyclist, either you're an asshole or you're not. What's the best nation in the world? DO-NATION!