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#41 (permalink) |
Psycho
Location: Massachusetts
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I don't know if this will help or not, but I'll tell you that some of the best lovers I've had had been virgins or near virgins...and some of the worst had had dozens before me.
What made the difference? Willingness to please his partner. Communication. *Asking* what she likes and making an effort to provide that. Everything else is just pornshow antics. Now, put your profile up on an online dating site and start meeting some people.
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"Never regret something that once made you smile." |
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#44 (permalink) |
Tilted
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I didn't lose my virginity until i was 20
My beau didn't lose his until late 23 That didn't bother us at all. I have to admit, it was a shock to me because I thought he was just too good looking to be one, but all in all, it was a great learning experience because we got to learn together. As long as you and your future deflower-er have a good communicative relationship, it will all be good Sex is easy to come by (as suggested in your brothel comment), but intimacy and trust is something that has much more value than paid pleasure ever would (as I would assume. I have never hired a gigilo) I have considered jsut getting really drunk at a club and just finding some random guy to get rid of my virginity, but on the whole, it was/is a stupid idea and shouldn't even be considered |
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#46 (permalink) |
Upright
Location: Montreal
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I can't give you any new advice as to how to lose your virginity since everything, good and bad, has already been said.
I can, however, tell you that when I was still a virgin I used to idolize sex much in the same way that you seem to. My first time was very disappointing; I remember thinking: "This is it? This sucks". That is because I was simply going through the motion of sex which is what would happen with a hooker. It is much like jacking off except you get to see a girl make funny faces. Jacking off was better than my first time. Being a virgin doesn't actually change anything. Usually the first time you have sex with a new girl it's always somewhat awkward and never as satisfying as the times afterwards with that same girl. So to repeat what most people said: don't worry so much about it, it doesn't change much in the end.
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everything will be OK in the end. if it's not OK, it's not the end. unknown
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#47 (permalink) |
Psycho
Location: Physically in Houston, TX - Mentally Lost in Time
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There are dumbasses who poke fun at people for being a virgin and humiliate them for their lack of sexual experience. They're dumbasses, so who gives a crap what they think? You are obviously not a dumbass, and clearly ahead of the game compared to those kind of people. So avoid, or disassociate yourself from anyone who has a problem with your virginity.
The rest of us, couldn't care less about your sexual escapades, or lack thereof. That's not to say that I, or every other decent person here who has attempted to give you some sincerely, heart-felt advice about your posted situation, are insensitive to how you feel about all of this. We simply don't care that you've never had sex. Am I making my point here? Decent folk understand virginity and how virgins feel awkwardly about it. We were all virgins once. Trust me, that WILL eventually pass and you will forget about it like most everyone else forgot about theirs. BE PATIENT ![]() Most people who have had sex, rarely give virginity a glance back, once they lose it, unless they lost it in some very horrible or wonderfully memorable way. So your virginity .. really .. only truly matters to you .. and dumbasses. You want to be in the same category as them? Heed the advice that's been given in this entire thread. Damn near all of it is pretty sound advice, so I won't bother to repeat it like it was my own. For what it's worth, it took a lot of courage to even post about this to begin with and you seem like you will be just fine when it is all said and done. So hats off to you and all that, and here's to you putting this behind you when you're damn good and ready.
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Attention everyone: We have another potential asshole in the area ! You don't have bad luck, the reason bad things happen to you is because you're a dumbass !! Dinner $50 Drinks $30 Motel $40 Finding out she swallows - PRICELESS!!! |
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#48 (permalink) | |||
Quadrature Amplitude Modulator
Location: Denver
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![]() I was a 24-year-old virgin. And you know what I realized? The simple fact is, people who don't get laid until later in life most often simply don't care. You HAVE to care, above all. Enough to say "fuck it", screw your fears and pretensions, go out there, and strike up honest conversations with strangers. Date a few different people a few times, figure out what you're looking for, and how to appeal to the kind of mate you're interested in. Once you figure that out, you're golden. I think it's really important to be in love and have sex frequently. Why? Simple. You'll live longer, be healthier, and enjoy life more fully. I've met so many people who think they'll just sorta meet someone and sorta happen to fall in love. Doesn't work that way. You have to care enough to reach out to them!
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"There are finer fish in the sea than have ever been caught." -- Irish proverb |
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#49 (permalink) |
eats puppies and shits rainbows
Location: An Area of Space Occupied by a Population, SC, USA
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I don't know if this has been noted yet, and I in no way suggest it, but the OP mentioned not going to a legal brothel for the fear of an STD. Well, at least in Nevada (I did research for an article I never really finished) the brothels have their, er, women checked often, and most advocate or demand that you wear a condom.
Just FYI.
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It's a rare pleasure in this world to get your mind fucked. Usually it's just foreplay. M.B. Keene Last edited by RetroGunslinger; 03-26-2008 at 07:47 PM.. |
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#50 (permalink) | |
Crazy
Location: Montreal
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Waiting until I was 20 was probably the best thing that could happen to me. I had serious behavioral problems when I was a teen. A sexual encounter back then would probably have screwed thing up big time and made me feel even more miserable! But by waiting until I finally smartened up and got a grip on myself, I experienced something very few people appear to experience at all these days: a wonderful, satisfying, and memorable loss of virginity. It was as if a ten ton weight fell off my shoulders. Now I must admit that, although it's not unusual for someone to still be a virgin well beyond their teen years, I do find the mid-twenties to be a bit of long time to wait before finally biting into the fruit of passion. Sex is a wonderful part of being human, and it should be enjoyed as soon as you're physically and mentally ready for it. How one's sex life turns out after the first experience varies widely from one individual to another. But what everyone needs at the very least is to get that first experience out of the way so they can at least move on with their lives. The solution for you may be very simple. GET OUT OF THE HOUSE! Although you're probably already a college graduate, were there any extra courses you've always wanted to take just for the heck of it? That's how I met my last GF: during evening classes! I wasn't exactly looking for someone at the time, but apparently she had already found me! ![]() Just don't let fear take over. If you meet someone, just go with the flow. Don't try to fill the air with conversation. Let her do all the talking! You just do the listening! Remember! Loose lips sink ships! (I've learned that part the hard way) But also, don't be afraid to ask questions and to complement her from time to time. Women do like to feel appreciated, even more so when it's entirely justified. One last thing. If you're both alone and she starts undressing you (yes, women do that), don't run, don't back away, and DON'T BE AFRAID TO TELL HER THE TRUTH! Let her know you're a virgin! This way, she'll guide you through your first sexual experience much easier than if you clam up. If you don't tell her, the sex will be bad, and you'll both be severely disappointed. Swallow your pride and be honest. So get out there and socialize! Get out of the house! Now! Find someone! Get busy! A disclaimer: I'm in my early forties and I've only had sex with two women in my entire life. But what I've experienced with both of them more than makes up for the lack of sexual partners. And with the new business I'm starting up, I'll be surrounded by more available women very soon. And you bet I'm gonna get busy! I don't consider sex to be improbable. I consider it unavoidable! ![]() |
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#51 (permalink) |
Upright
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No worries
No worries Spot!
I know its been like almost 3 years since ur initial post (and hopefully u've gotten laid during this time). However i u haven't, its no biggie, I'm 26 and I consider myself a virgin myself (I only slept with one ho at 18 and one girl at 21 who I'm sure didn't enjoy it). I've been going out with a great woman for about 4 years now who insists to save herself till marriage. We have a lot of chemistry and basically do everything but sex. I'm confident that when the time comes it will only take a few times before we excel at it. So don't worry, but on the contrary look at it this way: life is really a long journey and sex is one of the great experiences. So when you actually experience it u will derive much more satisfacion from it than most ppl. A lot of ppl get depressed because they have nothing to look forward to in life. U will have like a very long head start. Hope u know what I mean, I was nvr a good explainer... |
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#52 (permalink) | |
We work alone
Location: Cake Town
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If you've slept with two women, you are not a virgin unless your base losing your virginity on something other than the physical act of pelvic butter churning. Oh, and congrats on the first post.
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Maturity is knowing you were an idiot in the past. Wisdom is knowing that you'll be an idiot in the future. Common sense is knowing that you should try not to be an idiot now. - J. Jacques |
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#53 (permalink) |
The Reforms
Location: Rarely, if ever, here or there, but always in transition
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I believe the analogy was that he is basically a virgin because his first (and maybe only two) times, the sex was not at all memorable (if even all that enjoyable). Only thing he had forgotten to mention to you was the precendent 'as' and/or 'like' a virgin. (♪ being touched twice doesn't really count for all that much ♪)
Also, this may be just me, but seeing how this thread has been revived twice now, and has a barrelful of great advice and even better personal anecdotes provided by members, I'd think this would be a right nice fit for the 'Hall of Fame'. (and is it just me, again, or does anybody else picture CONFUSED as an Aussie?)
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As human beings, our greatness lies not so much in being able to remake the world (that is the myth of the Atomic Age) as in being able to remake ourselves. —Mohandas K. Gandhi |
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#54 (permalink) | |
Upright
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Rather I meant what Jetée explained in better words. By the way, I do agree that this thread is insightful... (and no I'm not from Australia but from Beirut) |
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#55 (permalink) |
We work alone
Location: Cake Town
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Oh em gee! You and little_tipper should totally get together! *high school girl squeal*
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Maturity is knowing you were an idiot in the past. Wisdom is knowing that you'll be an idiot in the future. Common sense is knowing that you should try not to be an idiot now. - J. Jacques |
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#56 (permalink) | |
Addict
Location: WA
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but once you are in the game, practice tons !!!! |
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#57 (permalink) |
42, baby!
Location: The Netherlands
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I only "lost it" a few months ago, aged 33... I never thought about it much. I'm a typical geek and a loner, and don't meet a lot of people. It took a very special girl a lot of effort, but eventually we got together for a very interesting evening (and night, and morning, and...). Given my lack of experience, I was afraid I would disappoint her. But it turned out to be very pleasurable for both of us.
![]() Just relax. You'll meet someone eventually. ...oh, if you do meet someone, make sure you don't just focus on yourself. Giving pleasure is much better for your ego than receiving it. ![]() |
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#60 (permalink) |
Insane
Location: Memphis Area
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25 year old male virgin with a college degree and a good job checking in. Mine has been by choice. I am waiting for marriage. My S/O even has two beautiful little girls from a previous relationship, so it's definitely by choice.
I do not think there is anything wrong with it. People who tell you there IS something wrong with it are most likely insecure and/or they do not have their priorities straight. Is there anything wrong with having sex before marriage or before 25? No...Is there anything wrong with not having sex? No DO NOT rush out and do it just because you're scared you're missing out or because society tells you that you should. I have friends who did that and they regret it.
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Life is nothing, everything.....and something in between... |
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#61 (permalink) |
I Confess a Shiver
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Tarzan, you're a rare breed. A true believer of no sex, eh?
To be honest, that really scares me. I can't fathom doing that. You're at least getting righteous handjobs? Blowjobs? I'm pretty sure I'm the only asexual guy here at TFP. ... It's my feeling that sex is like pizza. Even when it's bad... it's still good. |
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#63 (permalink) | |
Upright
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#64 (permalink) | |
immoral minority
Location: Back in Ohio
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#68 (permalink) | |
Upright
Location: Las Vegas
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I had problems with the opposite sex when I was single but when I met the right woman and got married, look out. Once that happened I gained confidence and had a lot more opportunities(No, I never acted on any of them) with women after I got hitched compared to before. BTW OP I was 24 when I lost mine. Not a big deal. Xepherys is right, no amount of spanking will ever prepare you for the real thing. I thought I had this shit all figured out and when it happened I realized I didn't know jack. ![]() ![]() |
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#70 (permalink) |
Upright
Location: Finland
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Old thread, sorry about the bump, but I just must add this:
Some years ago I found a 42 year old virgin and found the idea of teaching him the delights of sex incredibly hot. In practise.... after about 18 months I realised that the reason he was a virgin was because he wasn't really into sex. Oh well. What I want to say to those who stress about being virgins and worry about whether they should tell or not - do tell, it's hot! |
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#71 (permalink) |
Tilted
Location: Here
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Women don’t really care if you are an acrobat in bed, if they like you.
Just make sure you do help with the dishes and NEVER leave your socks on. Fucking is easy,in fact, better if you DON’T follow the How-To manuals. Your past and experience level is nobody’s business; avoid disclosure. Be yourself. Be yourself. Be yourself. Don’t squander the sacred first on a two bit hooker It’s quality not quantity that matters. Continue to dodge the mainstream. Always. |
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#72 (permalink) |
Upright
Location: Honolulu, Hawaii
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Hi,
I am a 24 year old female virgin. I am happy to read about men who are still virgins in their twenties and by choice. ![]() I am now pursuing my Master's degree. I am not interested in being in a serious relationship at the moment. I made the choice to focus on my education and career at an early age. To the men who are concerned with losing their virginity, I would suggest waiting until you are in a serious loving long term relationship. You won't have any regrets about sharing your body with the wrong person. It is best to wait for someone you share common interests with. You can meet such people through friends, your university, local meet ups(look to see if anything interesting is happening around your city in the newspaper/online), etc. Last edited by Mssmartypants; 06-11-2011 at 10:59 PM.. |
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#73 (permalink) |
Insane
Location: hampshire
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No you are not strange - a slight rarity maybe. As to 'getting rid' of it in Amsterdam - 'it' isnt a verruca, and dont be daft. When you do meet the right person and nature takes its course your lady friend will doubtless think you special rather than strange - I mean, I feel sorry for your generation, where sex can be a death sentence - makes 'the clap' sound somehow jolly and like something one would do to music.
Dont worry about it, you have survived/achieved much so you know you should have reason to have confidence in yourself. Top tip - an honest compliment and a smile are always most welcome. |
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male, strange, virgin, year |
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