Reveal the previous poster's deepest, darkest secret... - Page 136 - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

Fremen · 01-03-2005, 11:50 PM

Since bundy likes to take things to excess (mountain climbing), it was inevitable with what happened in what the Japanese like to call "The Great Corncob Cornholing Incident of 'aught-four".

bundy, for the love of Jeebus, it's 'wipe and release'....not 'plunge and twist'!

uncle phil · 01-04-2005, 01:02 PM

fre knows because he used the ol' "plunge and twist" before somebody told him about the "wipe and release" thing...

bundy · 01-04-2005, 01:50 PM

nice one fre...

**the following is a letter excerpt from Flymans soon-to-be-released tell-all memoirs, titled; Uncles, Arse Hair, Corncobs and Green: The Remarkable Life of a Chilled Roofie**

Quote:

It may come as no surprise to any of my fans that Uncle Phallus and I had a wild, velvet jammie style love affair... but what you probably don't know is, that i actually loved him, and for a while, he loved me back.

I wrote him a letter once. This is how it went.

dear old uncle phallus,

how i love thee.
you are my sunshine, my snow and my rain.
every morning, when i wake, i think of two things...
first, i think of how remarkably accidental is our existence, and how massive the universe is (which is usually the result of too much green-induced contemplation the night before)...
then i think about you and the pigs in the mud, like that time back in '73 when you bested 7 boars with no pants on, and still managed a naughty grin at the end.
but recently you've changed... both on the surface, and deep down.
you still listen to a lot of great music, but you've changed your name from Phallus; to Phil...
why?
and these days you seem too into the pigs, and that corn... oh my, the corn... why the corn?... why defile good food like that... all day??
i'll always be yours, if you'll have me, but you have to make a choice...
its the Pigs/Corncobs or me...

your adoring little pickle,
Fly

Phallus never replied. He broke my innocent canuck heart into three pieces.

revealing to say the least.
and thats a pretty decent DOUBLE WHAMMO right there!!!

Giant Hamburger · 01-04-2005, 02:04 PM

I was engaged to Bundy.

ehh19 · 01-04-2005, 02:50 PM

giant hamburger secretly prefers tacos

Fly · 01-04-2005, 07:59 PM

ehh19......wishes that the taco that GH is sportin' is all for himself,.....and himself only.

*bows down to bundy*

..............*(that was fucking beautiful man......nicely done mate)*..................

Fremen · 01-05-2005, 12:29 AM

@ bundy! That's some letter.

fly likes munching tacos, but every once in a while he gets a big hankering for some bratwurst, as can be observed in the above Phallus Love Letter.

=)

Nancy · 01-05-2005, 12:43 AM

Fremen has a thing for fly's ass.

bundy · 01-05-2005, 01:40 AM

back in those hazy, beer-stained, cocaine-laden '80's, Nancy had an affair with Flyman (who was still living the high life on the proceeds of his one hit wonder, the well known power ballard, Hairy and High...).

its not like Nancy was a groupie per se, she was more like an excitable enthusiast of pseudo-famous men with hairy asses, who copied the fine music of Van Halen and Alice Cooper.

Flyman was so special to Nancy, that she went (in one of those crazy, spur of the moment, drunk, rushes) and had his name tattooed in massive lettering right across her ass.

FLY on the left cheek, and MAN on the right cheek.

twenty odd years later, you'll find that Nancy wasn't ever able to get that massive tattoo removed... so she had it altered... to FREMEN...

now she tells the lucky individuals who get to see her decorative heiny that she's a freedom fighter, and that there is a small E hidden away there somewhere... but we all know its because these days shes a massive fan of Fremen, who, as we all know, is singularly responsible for bringing back the power ballard to the '00's.

did that make any sense at all?? aw, doesn't matter, this is nonsense...

Nancy · 01-05-2005, 01:45 AM

I was hoping that would never be outed

bundy · 01-05-2005, 03:18 PM

sorry, Nancy.
how about this...

Nancy has a thing for Fremens thing for Flyman.

uncle phil · 01-05-2005, 05:07 PM

bundy wishes he had a "thing" big enough to play with...

Fremen · 01-05-2005, 05:30 PM

unc. p played too rough with his 'thing' one morning and it fell off.
He now keeps it in a jar on his mantle.

Fly · 01-05-2005, 08:09 PM

...*you guys,(bundy),are fucked up.............i love it.

Fremen knows about phil's "little" thing cuz,.....he had a bottle of hooch,poured it in the "jar 'o penis"......let it Fre..ment for 6 nights and 7 days....slammed it back and had wild dreams of phil in velvet sleeper jammies.

the poor soul has never been the same.

genuinegirly · 01-05-2005, 08:54 PM

flyman is the world's top expert on alien military maneuvers.

Fly · 01-05-2005, 10:09 PM

genuinegirly has a problem with letting the little things slip.........

Hard8s · 01-05-2005, 10:13 PM

Flyman really wants to use Nair on his ass but is afraid it will look like Nancys when all is done, because then he'll never get any work done. He will be looking in a mirror all day long.

Fly · 01-05-2005, 10:21 PM

Hard8s is likin' the looks of my ass...........

*hell dude.....go check out the female butts in exibition will ya'........you're makin' me nervous*

Fremen · 01-05-2005, 10:57 PM

fly likes seeing Nancy's FINE! ass in these threads, but all he really wants to see is his own ass immortilized in a museum somewhere.

bundy · 01-05-2005, 11:10 PM

thats great Fremen... but...

back at uni Fremen was so moved by Mapplethorpes work that he vowed to one day create an homage to the artistic legend...
sadly, all Fremen managed to create was an internet menace called; GOATSE...

(the above photo is from Fremens, 'green snot and excess flash period' c.2004)

Fremen · 01-05-2005, 11:26 PM

bundy once posed for a nude spread in Playgirl.
Luckily, it was discovered just in time by the editors that bundy wore uncle phil's 'thing' as an extender, so they 'pulled' the pics before their magazine could get a bad name.

bundy · 01-06-2005, 12:20 AM

yes, but i did get a cheque from, "HOT, HAIRY AND EXTENDED" magazine for that pictorial...

what many don't know about Fremen is that he is actually a remarkably generous man.
he has actually held the East Texas record for donations for the past seven years.

ah, but donations of what i hear you ask...

well, believe it or not, the donations question are actually Rabbit Poo... thats right... Fremen breeds, big foot-long wild coneys in his fluorescent lit basement. then shovels all the shit into little dilly bags then mails them off to old people homes.

uncle phil · 01-06-2005, 02:52 PM

one o' them in that avatar has to be bundy...maybe both...

JumpinJesus · 01-06-2005, 03:33 PM

uncle phil recently went out and spent $7,500 on a plasma television. Once mounted, he sat back to enjoy some brand new high-def heaven. Upon turning on the set, uncle phil saw no picture. There was sound, but absolutely no picture.

Incensed that he spent such a large amount of money on a faulty product, uncle phil called customer service and through much profane language, demanded that a technician be dispatched to his residence at once, with a new set in tow in case his needed replaced.

The technician arrived, and within minutes knew exactly what was wrong. He informed uncle phil that he had mistakenly installed the set with the screen facing the wall.

paddyjoe · 01-06-2005, 07:39 PM

JJ loves to blame his mistakes on other people.

Fly · 01-06-2005, 09:00 PM

joe was a mistake.........always the guy who had to leave his friends in the summer time to go to that camp at the lake.....mistake......his next door neighbour stole his girl from him while he was gone.

joe rode the little bus....mistake....it crashed and joe has horrible facial scars now.

teacher.....mistake.....noone gives a rats ass about thier teachers.

*how's the snow out your neck of the woods joe.....nother mistake.....nasty weather out there*

(hehehehehehe)

bundy · 01-07-2005, 06:32 PM

clearly, Flyman was blind drunk when he wrote the above secret...
but thats certainly no secret.

his dirty little secret is that every morning flyman gets a litre of metho, pours it all over a few loafs of bread.
and when lunchtime rolls around, Fly sits back and chews on a few booze-sodden bread rolls.

mmm... yum...

Bauer_Power · 01-07-2005, 07:21 PM

Looks like somebody rode the shortbus to school. Did you enjoy your classroom down by the boiler room?

uncle phil · 01-12-2005, 05:36 PM

BP was the super who lived in said boiler room, and drove the short bus for extra income...

pinoychink790 · 01-12-2005, 05:42 PM

uncle phil is responsible for the upcoming apocalypse. we are all doomed.

Jonsgirl · 01-13-2005, 08:01 AM

pinoychink790 will survive the upcoming apocalypse, since he made up of equal parts: cockroaches, Slim Jims, and Pauly Shore movies.

vorpal_rabbit · 01-13-2005, 08:36 AM

Jonsgirl is actually the Gatekeeper of Gozer.

tecoyah · 01-13-2005, 09:27 AM

vorpal was the keymaster at one point....but the key was removed after a court case and a very pissed off judge. (Who knew she was his daughter)

uncle phil · 01-13-2005, 01:01 PM

tec really drank most of the booze...(you had to be there...)

paddyjoe · 01-13-2005, 07:19 PM

uncle phil tried to stop him by hiding all the glasses, but...umm...you really had to be there.....

Fremen · 01-13-2005, 11:37 PM

pj took the pic of phil hiding the glasses while showing his ass....you really wouldn't want to have been there...

tecoyah · 01-14-2005, 04:15 AM

Fremen is just jealous that he missed the entertaining alcohol induced partying.

ShaniFaye · 01-14-2005, 04:57 AM

tecoyah wears a sign when he has sex with his wife that says

"Im a moderator, fuck me NOW"

Jonsgirl · 01-14-2005, 10:31 AM

ShaniFaye gave him the sign. And watches them have sex from outside the window.

JumpinJesus · 01-14-2005, 09:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jonsgirl

ShaniFaye gave him the sign. And watches them have sex from outside the window.

...while standing on jonsgirl's shoulders as jonsgirl says, "what are they doing now?

How about now?

And now?

What about now?

When is it my turn to look?"

01-03-2005, 11:50 PM	#5401 (permalink)
Fremen With a mustache, the cool factor would be too much Location: left side of my couch, East Texas	Since bundy likes to take things to excess (mountain climbing), it was inevitable with what happened in what the Japanese like to call "The Great Corncob Cornholing Incident of 'aught-four". bundy, for the love of Jeebus, it's 'wipe and release'....not 'plunge and twist'! __________________ Google

01-04-2005, 01:02 PM	#5402 (permalink)
uncle phil comfortably numb... Super Moderator Location: upstate	fre knows because he used the ol' "plunge and twist" before somebody told him about the "wipe and release" thing... __________________ "We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done." - Robert S. McNamara ----------------------------------------- "We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches... We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles." - Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message" ----------------------------------------- never wrestle with a pig. you both get dirty; the pig likes it.

01-04-2005, 02:50 PM	#5405 (permalink)
ehh19 Upright	giant hamburger secretly prefers tacos __________________ "A dead Lois?!?" - Stewie "Does this look like a Q to you? ... How 'bout now?" - Quagmire

01-04-2005, 07:59 PM	#5406 (permalink)
Fly see the links to my music? Location: Beautiful British Columbia	ehh19......wishes that the taco that GH is sportin' is all for himself,.....and himself only. bows down to bundy ..............(that was fucking beautiful man......nicely done mate).................. __________________ BASTARD SterlingStudios

01-05-2005, 12:29 AM	#5407 (permalink)
Fremen With a mustache, the cool factor would be too much Location: left side of my couch, East Texas	@ bundy! That's some letter. fly likes munching tacos, but every once in a while he gets a big hankering for some bratwurst, as can be observed in the above Phallus Love Letter. =) __________________ Google

01-04-2005, 02:04 PM	#5404 (permalink)
Giant Hamburger Gastrolithuanian Location: low-velocity Earth orbit	I was engaged to Bundy.

01-05-2005, 12:43 AM	#5408 (permalink)
Nancy Femme Fatale Location: Elysium	Fremen has a thing for fly's ass. __________________ I have all the characteristics of a human being: blood, flesh, skin, hair; but not a single, clear, identifiable emotion, except for greed and disgust. Something horrible is happening inside of me and I don't know why. My nightly bloodlust has overflown into my days. I feel lethal, on the verge of frenzy. I think my mask of sanity is about to slip.

01-05-2005, 01:40 AM	#5409 (permalink)
bundy . Location: Tokyo	back in those hazy, beer-stained, cocaine-laden '80's, Nancy had an affair with Flyman (who was still living the high life on the proceeds of his one hit wonder, the well known power ballard, Hairy and High...). its not like Nancy was a groupie per se, she was more like an excitable enthusiast of pseudo-famous men with hairy asses, who copied the fine music of Van Halen and Alice Cooper. Flyman was so special to Nancy, that she went (in one of those crazy, spur of the moment, drunk, rushes) and had his name tattooed in massive lettering right across her ass. FLY on the left cheek, and MAN on the right cheek. twenty odd years later, you'll find that Nancy wasn't ever able to get that massive tattoo removed... so she had it altered... to FREMEN... now she tells the lucky individuals who get to see her decorative heiny that she's a freedom fighter, and that there is a small E hidden away there somewhere... but we all know its because these days shes a massive fan of Fremen, who, as we all know, is singularly responsible for bringing back the power ballard to the '00's. did that make any sense at all?? aw, doesn't matter, this is nonsense... __________________ Ohayo!!! Last edited by bundy; 01-05-2005 at 01:42 AM..

01-05-2005, 01:45 AM	#5410 (permalink)
Nancy Femme Fatale Location: Elysium	I was hoping that would never be outed __________________ I have all the characteristics of a human being: blood, flesh, skin, hair; but not a single, clear, identifiable emotion, except for greed and disgust. Something horrible is happening inside of me and I don't know why. My nightly bloodlust has overflown into my days. I feel lethal, on the verge of frenzy. I think my mask of sanity is about to slip.

01-05-2005, 03:18 PM	#5411 (permalink)
bundy . Location: Tokyo	sorry, Nancy. how about this... Nancy has a thing for Fremens thing for Flyman. __________________ Ohayo!!!

01-05-2005, 05:07 PM	#5412 (permalink)
uncle phil comfortably numb... Super Moderator Location: upstate	bundy wishes he had a "thing" big enough to play with... __________________ "We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done." - Robert S. McNamara ----------------------------------------- "We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches... We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles." - Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message" ----------------------------------------- never wrestle with a pig. you both get dirty; the pig likes it.

01-05-2005, 05:30 PM	#5413 (permalink)
Fremen With a mustache, the cool factor would be too much Location: left side of my couch, East Texas	unc. p played too rough with his 'thing' one morning and it fell off. He now keeps it in a jar on his mantle. __________________ Google

01-05-2005, 08:09 PM	#5414 (permalink)
Fly see the links to my music? Location: Beautiful British Columbia	...*you guys,(bundy),are fucked up.............i love it. Fremen knows about phil's "little" thing cuz,.....he had a bottle of hooch,poured it in the "jar 'o penis"......let it Fre..ment for 6 nights and 7 days....slammed it back and had wild dreams of phil in velvet sleeper jammies. the poor soul has never been the same. __________________ BASTARD SterlingStudios

01-05-2005, 08:54 PM	#5415 (permalink)
genuinegirly Eat your vegetables Super Moderator Location: Arabidopsis-ville	flyman is the world's top expert on alien military maneuvers. __________________ "Sometimes I have to remember that things are brought to me for a reason, either for my own lessons or for the benefit of others." Cynthetiq "violence is no more or less real than non-violence." roachboy

01-05-2005, 10:09 PM	#5416 (permalink)
Fly see the links to my music? Location: Beautiful British Columbia	genuinegirly has a problem with letting the little things slip......... __________________ BASTARD SterlingStudios

01-05-2005, 10:13 PM	#5417 (permalink)
Hard8s Addict Location: Wherever I am!	Flyman really wants to use Nair on his ass but is afraid it will look like Nancys when all is done, because then he'll never get any work done. He will be looking in a mirror all day long. __________________ If ignorance is bliss, then wipe this smile off my face! Last edited by Hard8s; 01-05-2005 at 10:18 PM..

01-05-2005, 10:21 PM	#5418 (permalink)
Fly see the links to my music? Location: Beautiful British Columbia	Hard8s is likin' the looks of my ass........... hell dude.....go check out the female butts in exibition will ya'........you're makin' me nervous __________________ BASTARD SterlingStudios

01-05-2005, 10:57 PM	#5419 (permalink)
Fremen With a mustache, the cool factor would be too much Location: left side of my couch, East Texas	fly likes seeing Nancy's FINE! ass in these threads, but all he really wants to see is his own ass immortilized in a museum somewhere. __________________ Google

01-05-2005, 11:10 PM	#5420 (permalink)
bundy . Location: Tokyo	thats great Fremen... but... back at uni Fremen was so moved by Mapplethorpes work that he vowed to one day create an homage to the artistic legend... sadly, all Fremen managed to create was an internet menace called; GOATSE... (the above photo is from Fremens, 'green snot and excess flash period' c.2004) __________________ Ohayo!!!

01-05-2005, 11:26 PM	#5421 (permalink)
Fremen With a mustache, the cool factor would be too much Location: left side of my couch, East Texas	bundy once posed for a nude spread in Playgirl. Luckily, it was discovered just in time by the editors that bundy wore uncle phil's 'thing' as an extender, so they 'pulled' the pics before their magazine could get a bad name. __________________ Google

01-06-2005, 12:20 AM	#5422 (permalink)
bundy . Location: Tokyo	yes, but i did get a cheque from, "HOT, HAIRY AND EXTENDED" magazine for that pictorial... what many don't know about Fremen is that he is actually a remarkably generous man. he has actually held the East Texas record for donations for the past seven years. ah, but donations of what i hear you ask... well, believe it or not, the donations question are actually Rabbit Poo... thats right... Fremen breeds, big foot-long wild coneys in his fluorescent lit basement. then shovels all the shit into little dilly bags then mails them off to old people homes. __________________ Ohayo!!!

01-06-2005, 02:52 PM	#5423 (permalink)
uncle phil comfortably numb... Super Moderator Location: upstate	one o' them in that avatar has to be bundy...maybe both... __________________ "We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done." - Robert S. McNamara ----------------------------------------- "We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches... We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles." - Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message" ----------------------------------------- never wrestle with a pig. you both get dirty; the pig likes it.

01-06-2005, 03:33 PM	#5424 (permalink)
JumpinJesus Junkie Location: Chicago	uncle phil recently went out and spent $7,500 on a plasma television. Once mounted, he sat back to enjoy some brand new high-def heaven. Upon turning on the set, uncle phil saw no picture. There was sound, but absolutely no picture. Incensed that he spent such a large amount of money on a faulty product, uncle phil called customer service and through much profane language, demanded that a technician be dispatched to his residence at once, with a new set in tow in case his needed replaced. The technician arrived, and within minutes knew exactly what was wrong. He informed uncle phil that he had mistakenly installed the set with the screen facing the wall. __________________ "I can normally tell how intelligent a man is by how stupid he thinks I am" - Cormac McCarthy, All The Pretty Horses

01-06-2005, 07:39 PM	#5425 (permalink)
paddyjoe through charlatans phone Location: Northcoast	JJ loves to blame his mistakes on other people.

01-06-2005, 09:00 PM	#5426 (permalink)
Fly see the links to my music? Location: Beautiful British Columbia	joe was a mistake.........always the guy who had to leave his friends in the summer time to go to that camp at the lake.....mistake......his next door neighbour stole his girl from him while he was gone. joe rode the little bus....mistake....it crashed and joe has horrible facial scars now. teacher.....mistake.....noone gives a rats ass about thier teachers. how's the snow out your neck of the woods joe.....nother mistake.....nasty weather out there (hehehehehehe) __________________ BASTARD SterlingStudios

01-07-2005, 06:32 PM	#5427 (permalink)
bundy . Location: Tokyo	clearly, Flyman was blind drunk when he wrote the above secret... but thats certainly no secret. his dirty little secret is that every morning flyman gets a litre of metho, pours it all over a few loafs of bread. and when lunchtime rolls around, Fly sits back and chews on a few booze-sodden bread rolls. mmm... yum... __________________ Ohayo!!!

01-07-2005, 07:21 PM	#5428 (permalink)
Bauer_Power Tilted Location: Nebraska	Looks like somebody rode the shortbus to school. Did you enjoy your classroom down by the boiler room?

01-12-2005, 05:36 PM	#5429 (permalink)
uncle phil comfortably numb... Super Moderator Location: upstate	BP was the super who lived in said boiler room, and drove the short bus for extra income... __________________ "We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done." - Robert S. McNamara ----------------------------------------- "We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches... We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles." - Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message" ----------------------------------------- never wrestle with a pig. you both get dirty; the pig likes it.

01-12-2005, 05:42 PM	#5430 (permalink)
pinoychink790 Loser Location: McDonald's Playland	uncle phil is responsible for the upcoming apocalypse. we are all doomed.

01-13-2005, 08:01 AM	#5431 (permalink)
Jonsgirl Semi-Atomic Location: Home.	pinoychink790 will survive the upcoming apocalypse, since he made up of equal parts: cockroaches, Slim Jims, and Pauly Shore movies. __________________ Someday, someone will best me. But it won't be today, and it won't be you.

01-13-2005, 08:36 AM	#5432 (permalink)
vorpal_rabbit Upright Location: Athens, Ga	Jonsgirl is actually the Gatekeeper of Gozer. __________________ The door flew open. A Mongol warrior surged into the hut like a savage wind. Two children ran screaming to their mother who was cowering wide eyed in the corner of the tiny room. A dog yelped. The warrior hurled his torch on to the still glowing fire, and then threw the dog on to it. That would teach it to be a dog.

01-13-2005, 09:27 AM	#5433 (permalink)
tecoyah Illusionary	vorpal was the keymaster at one point....but the key was removed after a court case and a very pissed off judge. (Who knew she was his daughter) __________________ Holding onto anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned. - Buddha

01-13-2005, 01:01 PM	#5434 (permalink)
uncle phil comfortably numb... Super Moderator Location: upstate	tec really drank most of the booze...(you had to be there...) __________________ "We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done." - Robert S. McNamara ----------------------------------------- "We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches... We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles." - Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message" ----------------------------------------- never wrestle with a pig. you both get dirty; the pig likes it.

01-13-2005, 07:19 PM	#5435 (permalink)
paddyjoe through charlatans phone Location: Northcoast	uncle phil tried to stop him by hiding all the glasses, but...umm...you really had to be there.....

01-13-2005, 11:37 PM	#5436 (permalink)
Fremen With a mustache, the cool factor would be too much Location: left side of my couch, East Texas	pj took the pic of phil hiding the glasses while showing his ass....you really wouldn't want to have been there... __________________ Google