|
...bad for your hand
My car is... |
...your only friend.
jubilation t. cornpone is... |
a man who knew no fear.
Fearless Fosdick is... |
...is another name that Rummy uses.
Gucci is... |
overpriced crap.
Bad breath is... |
cause by evil breath bacteria!
Dentists are... |
...immortalized by dustin hoffman's fear in "the running man."
ragweed is... |
...a herbal aphrodisiac, its similar to Horny Goat Weed.
a spook is... |
...not to be confused with casper the friendly ghost.
capital punishment is... |
....well deserving............
a life sentence is...... |
...another term for marriage.
Bugs Bunny is... |
...not going to make that same mistake again.
the "banana slugs" are... |
...the mascot of the University Of California at Santa Cruz
Mike is... |
well.....Mike.
jesus is......(pronounced hey-zus) *you know....from mexico* |
...one of the alou brothers.
three jolly coachmen are... |
frigid.
Ira Glass is... |
the epitome of NPR yuppiedom.
an 11 pound watermelon rolled through a supermarket narrowly missing a 4 pound pink poodle is... |
...probably going to scare the crap outta the pink poodle...(clean up on aisle 5)
Cleaning up stuff in supermarket aisles is...... |
...ok when its just the confectionary packets on the ground... when its spilled soft drink, then its someone elses problem.
lying is... |
What I'd like to be doing in bed right now.
Mice are... |
...intraocular aberrations.
the blue meanies are... |
are most often typically inferior to the hydroponically grown ultraviolet meanies.
you singing at the top of your lungs in the shower with the window open while the next door neighbors are hosting a barbeque in their backyard is... |
... the closest feeling to being a rock star as you can get.
3 dead bodies and a pound of oatmeal is... |
one hell of a good meal...in the wintertime of course.
forest fires are....... |
...going to be eliminated thanks to the healthy forest initiative.
shrub is:::: |
...one of those word thingees for brush.
windows are... |
.........part of Bill Gates' plan to take over the world and live in sin with a very old and fat Elvis
a midget is......... |
.....a small car made by MG
a joystick is.... |
...something you hide from your sister.
Boobies and Root Beer are... |
two things the Root_Beer_Man derives immense delight from.
A dozen pale peach colored roses is... |
something im gonna get from my boyfriend.
bukkake is... |
....all over the place.
sadistic dreams are...... |
...usually dreamed by librarians.
Ginger Beer is... |
The only way Gilligan got laid while on the island....
Military Intelligence is.... |
never always correct.
Richard Cranium is |
a polite way of saying "dick for brains."
That smell in your kitchen really is... |
last years turkey leftovers
A broken bone is |
...not going to be much fun to get furnk with and mess up roilets tonight.
a throgs neck is... |
east of everywhere.
a bodega is... |
a funny word.
"come on eileen" is... |
three words put together with the purpose of scaring the daylights out of someone named Eileen :)
All you base are... |
<font size="4">BELONG TO <u>ME</u>!!!!! </font>
[insert wicked laughter] A pickup truck full of manure is... |
biff's destiny. in all three movies.
the new avatar i should have is... |
...wrapped around the axle of a ten-wheeler headed for the promised land.
boy george is... |
really a whitney houston wannabe!
a roll of quarters is... |
what's in your pocket; you're not just happy to see me!
Skydiving naked is.... |
...great fun, but you should really think about taping your line and tackle down to stop them flapping around too much.
The Bachelor is... |
...not worth commenting on.
on the other hand, a glove is... |
... an essential item of clothing if one wants to be Michael Jackson.
the Convergence of old and new media is... |
...but a mere flippant gesture to the renaissance.
roses are red, violets are purple; sugar is... |
... great on nipples.
spies are... |
among us.......they're fucking everywhere.
flies are............. |
...obsessed with the notion that one "shokan" is dissing them on another thread.
three super-absorbant maxi-pads are... |
...really great for plugging holes in your car tonneau.
Luther Vandros is... |
right behind you! Turn around & he will sing for you.
Putting tapioca pudding in your ears is... |
...such a great way to attract ants to those ears!!
Janet Jackson is... |
.... a hotter, female version of Michael Jackson.
Newbies are.... |
...sweet.
worms are... |
the worlds best eaters of ice cream
cold is... |
what I feel when I eat too many popsicles.
Football is... |
in season again. Beer & pizza time!
Disneyland is... |
...best experienced on good hallucinogens.
Family is... |
the only fuckin thing that matters.....
work is..... |
so fuck'n fun i could just crap my pants, man.
that being said... crap in my pants is... |
a smelly seat warmer
computer programmers are ... |
teh roxxors.
0001101111010010101010001. irc is... |
...instantly recognizable chimichinga.
the thrill of victory is... |
....thrilling
The girl next door is.... |
.......a nun, and will not go on a date with me
That taco i had this mourning is........ |
... on its way to the stomach.
The time is... |
...trying to kill me.
That frog has a desert eagle and is... |
...aiming at the B21.
Coming home is... |
... a rush when i survive the interstate rush hour traffic.
New Mexico is |
......right next to Texas.
The cat is...... |
in the hat.
green eggs and ham are........... |
yummy, but not too realistic.
Austin Powers is? |
getting old, real fucking quick.
Red Lobster's crab cakes are... |
exceptional...
Dokaka is... |
the clean version of Bukkake.
Madonna's Gap jeans are... |
...moist and slick.
Zebras are... |
the worst kind of beastiality sex there is.
Menopause is... |
...the big M with a long pause that follows.
Manchester is... |
in New Hampshire.
Flying a helicopter is... |
better then a falling helicopter.
a folding chair is... |
...origami writ large (and heavy.)
the thompson twins are... |
living in New Zealand and raising sheep.
In German, Aloha is... |
a Hawiian word for hello or goodbye, they just say it different.
Getting kicked in the sack is.... |
messy when your sack is full.
Sierra Mist is... |
...prevalent during the wee hours of the morning, 'twixt moon-down and sun-up, when the moist dew wafts up into the heavens.
a "pea-picker" is... |
...something an insecure man never wants to come into contact with.
A baseball bat is... |
...a long piece of wood that men like to "play" with.
Ikea is... |
...toys 'r' us in disguise.
a woman is... |
...to be obeyed.
a man is... |
...but a by-product of all that went awry during the zinclonean era, which immediately preceeded the second ice age.
birth is... |
A five letter word meaning 18 years left to save up for college. That you will not be able to afford at that time so just go ahead and spend your money your kids will go to the military to get their college money.
The neighbors daughter is |
... diabetic.
My wallet is... |
full of rolling papers and small folded up packages.
bundy is..... |
A bon vivant.
Lemonade is... |
is hella better with a healthy amount of booze to kill that fucking sugary sweetness that is most lemonades.
<small>easy on the lemonade</small> Saturday nights are... |
all for fighting. Saturday night's alright alright alriiight...oooooooo...
College football is... |
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