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Old 06-08-2003, 01:04 PM   #1 (permalink)
Optimistic Skeptic
 
Location: Midway between a Beehive and Centennial
Embarrasing moments

Let's hear about an embarrasing moment you've had. It doesn't have to be your most emarrasing, I mean there are some things noone else was meant to know.

Here's a start: I was shopping with my wife in the local drug store. The kind where all the neighbors shop and most everyone knows you. I was in the novelties section and noticed they had a Bill the Cat stuffed animal. It had a tag describing why you'd want to buy it. The tag said something about it having it's own special scent. Not really thinking about what I was doing I lifted it to my nose and started sniffing it. Within a few seconds I heard a loud laugh from my wife and looked around as people stared at me. It was then I realized I was sniffing Bill the Cat's butt!
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Old 06-08-2003, 02:02 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Location: Over here
I've had more than my share of malapropisms. Here's one that stuck in my mind...

I used to work at the service desk of a computer store. A customer came in and wanted to speak with the repair tech who was working on his machine. I told the cust that his quarry was at the quickkymart around the corner getting coffee, and if he waited here, he could buttonhole him on the way in.

except...I didn't actually use the word "buttonhole"...I said "cornhole".

ewps.
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Old 06-08-2003, 02:39 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Location: right behind you...
i lack the willpower and strenth to type out .01% of embarresing moments i've had.

but then again, most are humerous so i don't mind... most of the time.
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Old 06-08-2003, 08:01 PM   #4 (permalink)
Psycho
 
Location: Right here, right now.
Went to meet some friends at the town pool. When I arrived, from a distance I saw three of them standing in the water chatting, and noticed that they hadn't seen me. So, I thought I'd swim up unnoticed and scare them. I dived into the other side of the pool, swam across on the bottom and launched myself out of the water right behind them with a huge, "BWAHAHAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!"

Complete, total and utter surprise. It worked beautifully.

Except for one small detail.

Yes, you guessed it...

Before they could recover, I said a quick, "Sorry, I thought you were someone else!", dived back underwater and swam off.
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Old 06-08-2003, 08:13 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Location: Melbourne
couple of years ago i was walking along at uni with a couple of friends, and saw one of my other friends facing away from me. sort of longish red dyed coloured hair, asian and fairly tall. So what do i do? i run up behind him and for some stupid reason decided to gently kick the back of his knee so it would buckle slightly. He turns around and surprise surprise it wasnt him, i had never seen this guy in my life and i thought i was going to cop it right then. i dont think ive ever gone so red in the face in my life.

luckily though, one of my friends i was walking with knew the guy, so we got introduced and now after 2 years we are good friends

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Old 06-08-2003, 09:06 PM   #6 (permalink)
who?
 
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Location: the phoenix metro
an unintentional tuba solo in the middle of halftime back in my high-school marching band days - they had just changed the routine and i completely forgot
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Old 06-08-2003, 09:12 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Location: Lost Angeles
Got really drunk at a freinds house and I guess I thought his fireplace was a toilet.....yea I pissed in it

I did not know I did it till the next day at work and my friend reminded me and asked if I remembered.

It took 3 days for me to go and apologize."Uh im sorry I pissed in your firplace with everyone standing around"
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Old 06-08-2003, 09:42 PM   #8 (permalink)
Still searching...
 
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Location: NorCal For Life
I cant think of any in recent years ... but way back when, say 10 years ago, in 5th grade I had the loudest fart in silent reading. The whole class had a laugh at my expense.
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Old 06-08-2003, 09:51 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Location: Teegeeack.
At a party, I saw a girl from my class. I thought, man, she's hot when she's not wearing her glasses. I snuck up behind her, and grabbed her hips, and pushed her ass against my crotch and started dancing with her. She thought it was fun. We drank and talked some, and towards the end of the evening, I had to go somewhere else. I told her I had a great time, and that I'd see her in class. She looked at me in a funny way, and said:

"I don't go to this University".

A total stranger.
I was damn lucky she didn't beat me up when I "said hello".
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Old 06-08-2003, 10:20 PM   #10 (permalink)
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Forks, those are hilarious, i'm so sorry. But hey, at least you got away clean from the 7-11 and the other two were when you were young or people you didn't know.

At my university, the final exams would be held in larger rooms and a few classes were all mixed in. So, it's dead quiet, everyone's taking their test, and my stomach just starts rumbling so loud. I just had the worst gas, maybe it was something I ate, but god it was so embarrasing. I just held it in cause I knew if I farted it wouldn't be silent, but it ended up sounding exactly like that anyways. This was medical school, so besides a bunch of strangers, everyone in my year was in that room. i hate life sometimes.

Edit: Good thing I failed out of Med school.
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Old 06-09-2003, 05:51 AM   #11 (permalink)
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Location: The True North Strong and Free!
when I was living in eastern europe I used to be in a folk dance group. It's actually amazing excercise - we did 2 nights a week of 2 hours of practice and it was very aerobic.

Well, since i'm 6'6" I got the 'largest' girl as my partner, and in this one dance at the finale you have to lift her over your head by the waist. Usually the girl will jump and put her hands on her shoulders and help considerably getting herself up.

But no. Mine was deadweight. She wouldnt help at all and I had to solely lift her fat ass up over my head.

Well, we had a dress rehearsel before a big performance and I guess I tried a little too hard, cause as I was lifting her I let out a massive fart unwillingly. The entire group froze and burst out in laughter.

The girl went bright red cause they knew it was because I had to lift all her weight.
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Old 06-09-2003, 05:59 AM   #12 (permalink)
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Location: Massachusetts, USA
Quote:
Originally posted by Forks
i had to walk out of the mall bare assed and crying, omw to the hospital to get stiches. i was 5 at the time, but i still remember the humiliation today.
Meanwhile, the people who saw you were thinking, "Now that was a spanking!"


Quote:
i wonder how long i walked around like that for? my face turned like 10 shades of red and i pray i didn't scar that little girl for life.
I doubt it. Betcha she asked her mommy about it later.
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Old 06-09-2003, 10:37 AM   #13 (permalink)
I aim to misbehave!
 
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Location: SW Oklahoma
Yesterday, motorcycle run, Norman Oklahoma, over two hundred bikes, U turn, too much throttle, dropped my bike.

Much unwanted applause.

Road rash.

Burning shame.
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Old 06-09-2003, 10:53 AM   #14 (permalink)
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Location: Chicago
i went to the store and all i had was a $100 dollar bill. the total was $10 and some change, so i confidently pull my $100 dollar bill out of my pocket and hand it to the cashier. The cashier looks at me as if to say "where's the rest" so i say to her "i'm sorry i don't have anything smaller i'm sure you can find a way to break that". so my girlfriend who was with me says to me "what are you doing"? so i say to my girlfriend "do you have anything smaller, i don't think she can break it"....she looked at me as if i was from a different planet. the cashier then says "excuse me" so after looking at the bill several times already, i realize my great $100 is just a $10.
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Old 06-09-2003, 01:48 PM   #15 (permalink)
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Location: courtin in the kitchen
a few years ago working as a manager in a video store in a small town, I had a rather embarassing experience. The town this store was in was small and kinda of conservative, needless to say no video store in town carried adult movies but we did have a few "soft" porn movies. Anyway it's about 4-5 in the afternoon and the store is pretty full on a weekend, when a couple approach my counter to check out some movies. As I pull up their account they have a late charge of about 10$ on it for a movie called Striptease, Lover's Caught on tape II and Playboy Playmates pajama party. So the wife of the couple is the one paying and so I decide to be a little descreet and tell them that they have a balance for three movies that were returned late. She get's rather upset blaming her 2 sons and says she'll pay up. Her husband who wasn't really paying attention decides that she shouldn't pay and demands to know what sort of movies their two sons have been renting. As they are getting irate and starting to draw attention from other customers, I am put into an compromising position. The name that signed out the movies is clearly the husband and as he's getting angrier and honestly pissing me off I answer him in a very even, and audible voice " The movies were Striptease, Lover's caught on tape II, and Playboy's Playmate Pajama Party, checked out on dd/dd/ and returned dd/dd by blah blah(husband's name). His wife's jaw drops to the counter and the husband's face turns very white. Well needless to say they paid and left the store very quietly.
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Old 06-09-2003, 05:06 PM   #16 (permalink)
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So I'm walking down the hallway in my highschool, and I see a locker door thats slightly open...being a fidgety type that likes to play around with things, I decide to swing on it. Unfortunately, the locker door isn't even attached, and I rip the thing right off, scaring the shit out of me and I kinda hit myself in my head. Its mostly the fact that I was with friends and my gf that embarassed me..And thats how I got the Hulk nickname. (Its funny cuz I weigh a massive 120 odd pounds )

Oh and then there was the time that I accidentally gave my gf a bloody nose when I tried to prevent her from getting hit with a pillow in the face...yeah felt pretty shitty about that.
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Old 06-09-2003, 05:32 PM   #17 (permalink)
Crazy
 
Location: Belgium
I was young when this happened, about 8 years old I would say. And as usual, my father drops me off at school in his car. Only, since I had been in a hurry that morning, I appear to have forgotten to put on my shoes. So I'm standing there, in front of the school, wearing these ugly blue slippers, feeling mighty stupid.

I've also done the reverse thing. On a field trip to a childrens playground, I got into one of those big rooms with lots of plastic balls in them. I loved those. So I take off my shoes to get in, and when getting back out again, I put on another kids shoes. Not on purpose, mind you. They looked very much alike. Now, it turns out these shoes were way too large for me - but I was too busy enjoying myself to really notice. The other kid had to walk around barefooted all day long - since he couldn't fit into mine. On the bus back home, he noticed me wearing his shoes. Come to think of it - everybody probably noticed, since they were almost falling off. So I came back home barefooted. My parents weren't even that surprised. They kind of knew already.

I once forgot to tell my parents I was going on a field trip until one hour before the bus left. They had to phone up everybody they knew, whilst they were having breakfast, to find someone who could still get me an apple (we had to bring one). Quite embarassing.

And more... many more. Too many to remember.
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Old 06-09-2003, 05:51 PM   #18 (permalink)
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Location: Yesterday i woke up stuck in hollywood
i cant think of anything that bad happening with me, although lots of drunk things that ive done. the one that im thinking about happened to a friend of mine. He was at this party last summer and everyone was outside having a good time. He looks around, he kind of drunk, decides that it would be a very good idea to streak. So, he goes behind the pool, takes off all his cloths and runs out into the party like a nut. Everyone loves it and they all laugh and he continues running around the house back to the pool, his cloths are gone. So his only option is to wander around holding his crotch asking people if they have seen his cloths. He goes inside to get some from the host whose elderly grandmother is sitting at the table and he stands right in front of her for a while while his eyes adjust to the light, when he finally sees her he runs like crazy. Finally the host tells him that he stole the cloths and hid them in the treehouse. So he goes up and opens the door and looks in and sees two people having sex, so its him, naked, asking two other naked people in the throes of passion, for his cloths. Needless to say it wasnt a great party for him.
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Last edited by YourNeverThere; 06-09-2003 at 05:55 PM..
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Old 06-09-2003, 06:58 PM   #19 (permalink)
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Location: Clarkson U.
Thats hilarious! The only one I can think of of mine is similar to the pool suprise story from XenuHubbard.

I was tryint to find my cousin at dusk on the beach. I see this darkhaired girl walkin, so I am running to her.

As I near her I yell "HEY" in the deepest voice I could. Yup it wasnt her.

Im a fairly tall, and another cousin was with me, and he is pretty big. This chick (who was hot from what I remember) sees two shadow cloaked big guys running at her on the beach... You should have seen the look on her face!!
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Old 06-09-2003, 09:58 PM   #20 (permalink)
Go Ninja, Go Ninja Go!!
 
Location: IN, USA
I remember before Orchestra, I hurried into the bathroom across the hall..... The door was locked shut. Hand forward..... Face Flattened!!!!

There was that one time I was running an errand for a teacher between passing perriods from one end of the school to the other... And I went so fast, i "stepped" on the corner of a step and fell down them... with a fair amount of onlookers. Woulda hurt had my books not landed infront of me and with me..

Heh, in first grade, it was reading circle or something.. I forget, but we all had paper bags, Now I'd never pop them, but the teacher just left the room, and since everyone did it, I thought.. "Why not" I pop it and it was great and it was loud. No harm done, then the teachers comes back.. "Who Just Popped That!?!?" Everyone, and I mean EVERYONE pointed at me in 1 second flat.

I"m sure i have more, but its 1 am and i gotta wake in 4 and half hours...

G'nite all!
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Old 06-10-2003, 01:02 PM   #21 (permalink)
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Location: Ireland
krazixs:
Hahaha! That was great man! And if you think it was embarrasing for you, how do you think that poor guy felt!? That was hilarious!
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Old 06-10-2003, 09:33 PM   #22 (permalink)
Psycho
 
Location: Lovely City #1
Two stories actually and one is me and one is another friend. Just recently I'm walking off these tennis courts and the metal crank that is used to tighten the nets is sticking out at an angle. I blindly am walking backwards and as I turn around at the last second my inner thigh and basically the region close to my "Nether region" runs straight into a metal jabby thing. Needless to say my groining area is still bruised and I was farking bleeding everywhere. Not to mention like 15 other people on other tennis courts see me do this and as I swear and hold my bloody crotch area!!

As far as friends go...one time a friend passed out drunk and some other guys think it would be funny not only to piss on him...but duct tape his balls to his ass....hahahah. Or as I say, ouch.
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