mandal

Sorry if this is sexist and if this has been discussed, but I find that I really believe in the "traditiional woman."

by this i mean that i like girls that are nice, can cook, can sew, wears conservative clothes (especially dresses), doesn't swear, and so on and so on.

I always come across girls who I tell not to curse and then they point out that guys do and I pretty much say that he's a guy it's not as bad. It's not much that I want all girls to be like this, but in terms of girls i would ever be interested in they would have to follow these rules. I tell them this to, I believe girls should be like this, if you don't agree then you shouldn't care what i think.

Dont get me wrong or anything I don't believe women shouldn't have any rights or anything like that, but in terms of these things I do hold the traditional belief.

So i'm just wondering are there a lot of guys out there that hold these beliefs, also are there girls that think i'm just a plain old jerk?

tecoyah

Good luck.......But I hear you may find what you are looking for in Utah.

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d*d

Yeah it is sexist, I take it you have do not have to live by this list and can curse freely without consequence. Just out of curiosity do you strive to fit some kind of traditional male model?

Fourtyrulz

It doesn't sound sexist to me...he just likes a certain type of girl. No more sexist than having a preference for blondes or redheads, and what's wrong with that?

The double standard swearing thing is pretty shitty though.

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the·o·ry - a working hypothesis that is considered probable based on experimental evidence or factual or conceptual analysis and is accepted as a basis for experimentation.
faith - Belief that does not rest on logical proof or material evidence.
- Merriam-Webster's dictionary

zen_tom

mandal, is this philosophy, or might it be better placed in Living, or Sexuality perhaps?

Or are you posing a question about the nature of morality today and the way that so called traditional values are being eroded by the capitalist, consumerist society we live in today? - perhaps Politics then.

Or are you wondering whether it's possible to reconcile the paradox of expecting others to follow a moral code different from your own?

If that's the case then I guess Philosophy is the right place.

Expecting women to act under a different set of rules to the ones men are expected to live by suggests you feel that there is some deep and fundamental difference between men and women that should determine the roles they are expected to play out in life.

Should people be limited at all in how they live their lives? What benefits would this dual set of ethics provide? And at what cost?

Or is this just an expression of the kind of interpersonal dynamic that you find comfortable with a partner? What do you think is the root of this preference? Is it something to do with your childhood? Do you relate differently to women than you do to men?

Would you have any difficulty working for a female boss who cursed? Or does this preference only relate to you when you are considering a sexual relationship?

Personally, cursing is cursing and shows ignorance and a lack of acceptance of one's inner self. This can lead to frustration, which can be a sign that someone isn't happy with the way their life is turning out. It's equally unnattractive in men and women, but can occasionally serve as a cathartic and often humerous way of relieving tension if used appropriately.

ShaniFaye

I dont want to call you a jerk....but what you want sounds kinda jerkish. Do you want her to only have sex in the missionary position and not give blow jobs either (I hear nice girls dont do that)

Sounds to me like what you want is a stepford wife

I think you were born a century too late.....

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maleficent

/smartass feminist mode/ (not very nice girl like I know - but hey, I'm not)

What's your stance on burquas? Women getting educations? Women holding jobs? Women voting?

Sounds like you want a woman to keep your house clean, fetch you your slippers when you get home from work, give you a drink and the paper then call you when dinner is ready. Watched a few too many episodes of the Donna Reed Show or Leave it to Beaver?

Donna Reed, on television, may have worn a poufy dress, pearls, hose and heels to clean the house, but that was for the camera, behind the cameras, she was the uncredited producer and director of the show, studying and mastering both lighting and cinematography--roles rarely handled by women of that time.

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typhus

I personally am more attracted to women who can ignore these social pressures. It seems that society has tried to teach women these submissive behaviors. Women seem more confident when they don't act this way, and I think confidence is one of the most important qualities a woman can have.

Fourtyrulz

Jeeze, he says right in his post... My guess is this is was the original poster was meaning. It's just a matter of taste in women...no need to get your undies all in a bunch!

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the·o·ry - a working hypothesis that is considered probable based on experimental evidence or factual or conceptual analysis and is accepted as a basis for experimentation.
faith - Belief that does not rest on logical proof or material evidence.
- Merriam-Webster's dictionary

martinguerre

it seems to me that you're not willing to treat women as co-equals. and i may be wrong, but when you assume that they are to be in a role that you don't feel has anything to do with you...

i think it's a bankrupt philosophy/social code/whatever. it gives men power for no good reason, and promotes unjust relations.

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flstf

Nothing wrong with with liking a particular type of woman. Sounds a lot like my wife. She is from Europe and is also an engineer and rides her own big twin Harley. She has been known to swear once in a while though, LOL.

maleficent

My undies are bunch free, thanks for your concern though...

when the statement is made that :
Not sure what his definition of nice is, but once or twice in my life I have been called that, I am an excellent cook, I can sew, I am a very conservative dresser, I have a vocabulary, so I don't need to swear, I know darn well he's not looking for a woman like me, I am in no way a traditional woman, because I am incredibly opinionated (duh - like y'all didnt know that) and not shy about expressing my opinions, even if it's not popular.

Yeah, some men do like the submissive (and I'm not talking sexually submissive) type, who don't want a woman to have an original thought, or to ever disagree with them, and that sounds what he is looking for.

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f6twister

I don't see a problem with knowing what you want out of your partner in life but you will need some major luck in finding the perfect woman for you. About the only chance you have is finding a woman who was raised in basically the same environment in which you expect her to function. You will never be able to convince a woman to adapt to your expectations or life style.

You have every right to believe women should be like that but don't expect the women to care what you think either.

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frogza

I don't care that much about dress standards, I wouldn't want my wife getting arrested for indecent exposure every time we go out but I certainly wouldn't go all victorian either. As far as I'm concerned clothes are for comfort, so if you're comfy it's all good.
As far as the not swearing thing and being "nice", I admit I like nice people. I also like being around people who don't swear, so I like women who can keep a clean mouth. These are both standards I apply to myself as well.
I can see a little of what mandal is saying though, many women are nicer than many men. Call it the "mother instinct", social pressure or the remnants of a male dominated society but most women seem to have a higher mastery of being "nice" then most men. Being crass, dirty or mean are things we don't expect of women. Maybe it's not fair, maybe it too much pressure but as things stand now it's the general rule.
I found through sad experience that when you're new to a college campus it is best to ask directions of women then of men, unless you'd rather end up at a AA meeting instead of math class. (That's a story for another time)

roachboy

not meaning to turn into the genre police, but why is this a philosophical question exactly? it seems more like one of personal preference, maybe something for--o i dunno---sexuality.....

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spinning dog. such faithfulness it hear

it make you sick.

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ARTelevision

...moved here to Sexuality.

In any event, as regards many responses to this sort of statement - on balance, I have not seen a real human benefit to politicalizing the personal...

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st33lr4t

why would you prefer a girl like this?

Sweetpea

Well hmmmmm . . . i am a bit baffled by your def. of what it means to be a traditional woman . . . .

I am a "traditional" woman by some people's standards . . . so to speak . . . I knit, i bake fresh bread every day, i can cook, i garden . . . etc. etc. However, i do tend to curse here and there and i am bisexual and love checking out woman, but married and committed to my hubby . . . But i express myself and i have alot of opinions about basically everything and i debate often with hubby about various social-political issues . . . i like ditry talk in bed and am into anal sex etc. But i wear dresses and can be a "nice" girl most of the time . . . So, am i traditional? By 2005 standards, I AM

The kind of traditional woman you are looking for doesn't exist anymore is my point, society is just too different . . . Becuase woman who are into that totally tranditional "the man is the head of the household, i should never curse etc" stuff are very unhappy woman and unsatisfied with not being able to be themselves and having to fit into a mold . . . Does that make sense mandal??

I don't nessasarily think you are a jerk . . . Chances are you have a religious upbringing correct? You just have a preconcieved notion about how you want the gal you're going to be with to be . . . which it going to make it tough to see each woman you date as an individual . . .

just my two cents . . .
sweetpea

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mingusfingers

Well, I have to say that I'm attracted to women who don't swear...in general, I respect people less the more amount they swear. Though it's not just women in my case.

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adam

Speaking as a guy... no interest in a "traditional woman" (or the "traditional man", for that matter). Let people be who they are and work something out from there.

Sweetpea

I completely agree Adam. you said what i thought in a much more concise manner.

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World's King

I like girls with tattoos, swear, drink, would rather go out to eat, and would most likely beat the shit outta your girlfriend.

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jRuntlets

It just makes me wonder if he's the kind of man who'll be the sole bread winner in this relationship. If he seems to like the model house wife, I would hope he's willing (and able) to provide a salary to have a nice house for the wife. Will he be able to do all the handiwork on the house and the cars too? Since that's typically the male job? If she has to sew, cook, and clean he should have to do all the hard labor by hand, so he better be a plumber, electrician, and mechanic too.

Honey, if you want this kind of woman maybe you need to look at yourself and see if you'll do as much work (plumbing, electrical and car work) as your wife will do in the house. You seem like you want the 1950's domestic life style. They didn't hire people to do jobs on the house, that was the man's job. They didn't send their clothes out for cleaning/sewing, that was the woman's job.

Are you able to live up to the other half of your 1950's domesticated life dream? Think about that before you expect a woman to do everything you find so very attractive.

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*Nikki*

Wow that describes me to a "T".

Grasshopper Green

Sounds like I'm TOK's kind of woman...except for the beating the other girlfriend thing, I'm kind of a pacifist

I don't think your definition of "traditional" is very traditional anymore. A traditional woman these days has a job, pays her own bills, owns her own house, and doesn't need to be with a man to take care of her. She can cook, but may not have time for it, she can sew, but doesn't need to make her own clothes, she dresses conservatively at the office but lets her hair down when she's out, and she may let out a curse every now and then.

I don't think that you are a jerk; everyone is entitled to their opinion, but it probably will be hard for you to find a girl like this. All of the women I know definitely don't fit this description.

clavus

I was about to go on my male-feminist rant about "traditional" women, but then I took a look at my own life. My wife is a stay-home mom. She cooks, sews and takes care of the house and kids. She dresses conservatively, though not in dresses. She is well spoken and tends to be on the quiet side.

I am aboslutely, completely in love with her.

...but not because she fits the traditional mold. I love her because of who she is. I don't care about the "traditional" aspects of her personality. I love her heart, her mind, her body and her bearing.

She could also be described as "nontraditional." She towers over her husband (she's 6' and I'm 5'7") She is well-educated, with three completely unrelated degrees. She listens to punk rock (as well as other obnoxious music). She can shoot a pistol, play a sax and repair drywall. She lifts weights. She doesn't wear make-up.

So I would encourage the original poster to expand his horizons.

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dabossy2k

Why do people post comments like this and then disapear? Shouldn't they want to defend there beliefs?

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Sweetpea

Well, he did post it @ 2:12 am . . . so maybe he is a night owl?

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World's King

Wanna go out some time?

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*Nikki*

Hell yeah, look me up next time your in SC. I would love to hang out with you!

jonjon42

I fit that profile pretty well.....only problem is I'm male....and taken...
but just saying that some people fit the definition...

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A damn dirty hippie without the dirty part....

docbungle

I find this "traditional woman" you describe to be very boring. I need a suprise or two, please.

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World's King

Will do.

Too bad I'm not in SC a lot.

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timalkin

I also like "traditional" women. I wouldn't want to date a Donna Reed, but I am attracted to girls who are polite and well-mannered, who dress somewhat conservatively (no asscrack or cleavage showing please), and generally fit the traditional female role. However, a girl has to have her own opinions about things and be educated or otherwise capable enough to support herself without my help. A relationship is a partnership. Both sides are equal, but each side brings something different to the partnership. And yes, I strive to fit the mold of the traditional male.

Unfortunately, the traditional girls can be trusted just as much as the nontraditional girls: not at all. Just because a girl is traditional doesn't mean that she won't stomp on your heart and throw you away.

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pinkie

Hahaha!!!!!

timalkin

Dude, there are girls out there who like to eat their own shit. I never would have thought so, but then the internet came along.

It's not too much of a stretch of the imagination to think there are girls out there who try to fit the traditional female role.

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pinkie

Do these girls only do missionary also?

Jakes

i will marry the first girl that lasered her bever clean

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Dean Martin

I like my jeep to be like my girl, topless and dirty.
me i guess

Sweetpea

well, the saying goes "to each their own" applys here (and most everywhere). We all find different things attractive.

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