I think I have agoraphobia. It really really sucks - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

fatbob · 03-24-2005, 03:11 AM

anleja, i'm really really sorry that your are going through this.
i have never suffered from this but my partner was diagnosed as agoraphobic whilst we were at university and really suffered badly with it for nearly two years...she is over it now although she does still suffer from panic attacks but she has learned coping techniques that have allowed her to lead a 'normal' life.

a bit of history: she was perfectly healthy and stable but then half way through our second last year at uni she started getting panicky during lectures, then at her work, so she stopped going to lectures, started calling in sick to work, eventually she ws avoiding going out at all. it spiralled really badly, getting to the point where she wasn't able to see any point in living at all. she ended up sitting her university exams in our house with a external invidulator, she couldn't leave the house to visit her parents for chirstmas, i'd come home from work to find her curled up in a corner saying she just just wanted to die...it was really horrible...i felt hopeless. we both did.

thankfully she had the strength to face up to the problems. she read books on coping techniques, she had visits from a phsyc nurse who talked her though her fears, etc.
basically what she learned is to accept that it is happening and that it is not her fault. the body creats a 'flight/fight' state which raises heartrate, awareness, adrenaline levels, etc, and that these things lead to panic and a feeling that you are in danger and that you have to get out. these feelings have to be accepted. they are going to happen for what ever reason but they are natural feelings.
to cope with them the most important thing to do is to breathe. mostly to breathe out. what happens if you don't breathe properly, you breath quickens and you feed less oxygen to your brain and body. to breathe properly make sure that you breathe out fully and then in fully using your diaphragm. you can practice this at home, or when you feel safe. at first this can make you feel worse but as the oxygen starts getting around the body and brain again you'll start to come down.
another important thing is understand that lots of people suffer from these feelings, you are not alone, or stupid, or shit. it happens and it happens to hundreds of thousands of people all over the world every hour of every day. it really does. once you accept it you can learn to deal with it and live with it.
making escape plans is not the worst thing you can do, the worst thing you can do is avoid doing things, avoidance is bad! my partner used to be like you in making escape plans, always wanting to sit at the end seat of a row, etc. bow she still prefers it but has eventually started to realise that it is not the be all and end all if these plans can't happen.
my partner now leads as full a life as she could want to and you will too!
i'm not sure if any of this will help, i hope it can in some way, but if you want to ask any questions or anything please do and i can hopefully be more specific and less rambling and help you a bit...
take care, fb.

ryfo · 03-24-2005, 04:29 AM

Mrs Ryfo here, I suffer panic and I dont like going anywhere without an escape route I also have just started having trouble driving by myself, but will not share transport with anyone except ryfo 'just in case', this has been the case for 8 years (in varying degrees) and I dont work but just qualified for concession card that cuts the cost for meds and drs visits. Try to learn proper breathing techniques and cognitive behavoir therepy (turning the negative thoughts to positive ones) and fatbob is right avoidance is bad ( been down that road) feel the fear....and do it anyway Good luck and keep in touch

FlunkedFlank · 03-26-2005, 10:02 AM

to those suffering from this ... is it just a innate, irrational feeling that has no obvious reasoning? or did anything happen in your lives that perhaps could have triggered this? some sort of trauma or abuse? is it perhaps the case that you need to see a psychologist to help deal with an unresolved phsycological issue that just happens to be manifesting itself this way? Do you suffer from depression?

I have no idea about any of this, I'm just curious.

03-28-2005, 04:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by anleja

I have been on airplanes before with only slight nervousness, but now the thought of being in a flying box, with NO chance of exit... that thought really scares the shit out of me.

That really sounds more like you are claustrophobic than agoraphobic.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Claustrophobia

HTH

*Nikki* · 03-28-2005, 12:53 PM

I have very similar problems. The thing that I have learned about anxiety (I have had it my entire life) is never ever give into it. This is what feeds it and makes it stronger.

I tired counseling for awhile but at 40 bucks a session I stopped going. It did help me a little.

There is no quick cure for it. I deal with it one day at a time and this is all you can do. I wish I had an answer for you, then I would also have an answer for me

cudaboy · 04-10-2005, 09:49 PM

I know where your comming from, I also suffer from agoraphobia and PA's. Its a long hard road but with time it can be delt with. Unfortunatly no one really knows what causes it or what medications cure it. Medications help with the anxiety but thay dont cure the problem. I have been med free for over a year now and I am progressing better/further then when I was taking my daily cotail of meds. There is a web site that I frequent that I have to help with those stressful times http://moonbeams.ipbhost.com/index.php
Plus there are alot of fellow agoraphobics who are members of the board.
If you need a shoulder just send me a pm.
JRM

Elphaba · 04-14-2005, 01:40 PM

FatBob has what is believed to be the best approach to dealing with anxiety disorders. It's founded in behavior modification theory and you should be able to find many self-help books on the subject. There are also counselors that specialize in the anxiety disorders if you have the resources for that.

There is a growing body of evidence that the "mental" disorders are more properly considered brain chemistry disorders. Anxiety disorders can be treated with anti-anxiety medications such as Xanax or Valium, but these can be highly addictive.

I strongly recommend going the behavior mod approach. Good Luck!

Sage · 04-15-2005, 10:00 AM

Interesting, we were JUST talking about this in my psych class the other day...

Counselors can and will come to your house to treat you- any psychologist worth his salt will be more than happy to accomidate your feelings of anxiety.

Arm yourself with knowledge about your condition- read books, go to web sites, talk with other people who feel this way! The more you know, the more you can help yourself overcome what is bothering you!

Also, you don't have simple claustraphobia, it really does sound like you have agoraphobia. I will ask my Psych professor (who is also a thearapist) if she knows of any good books that will help you. Where do you live? Perhaps check the yellow pages and call a psychologist and ask if they know anything that will help- books, Videos, etc.

Good luck!

anleja · 05-02-2005, 05:28 PM

Wow, I have not checked this thread in quite awhile, I feel bad if anyone thinks I am ignoring their suggestions. I am really sorry for not giving a timely response to these posts.

There are some really good ideas here. I'm going to investigate some of them and I'll share my progress. It is comforting to know there are others who are going through this as well, and comforting to know that there are those who are not going through it yet are sympathetic to it. Thank you!

StarCrossed · 05-03-2005, 12:30 AM

I suggest you visit a clinical psychologist. It sounds like behavioral therapy would be good. A good way of confronting your fear, is a method called systematic desensitization. You get into a relaxed state of consciousness, and then face your phobia. The idea is; you cannot be relaxed and scared at the same time. Good luck with this hurdle you face.

Astrocloud · 05-05-2005, 08:36 AM

I think it sounds like you may have GAD rather than agoraphobia. It's worth a consideration: http://www.lexapro.com/english/about...y/default.aspx

streak_56 · 05-05-2005, 07:43 PM

Welcome to my world. I am the exact same way. Though I push myself to get through it. That it is better for myself to get out than to stay inside all day. I hate flying, I hate malls, I don't really like to "be out." I have to push myself to go to work and well hopefully I'll get use to it. Just push yourself out of your normal comfort zone and you'll see small changes.

fallsauce · 05-11-2005, 11:04 PM

When I saw the thread title, I thought you meant fear of spiders and I thought: Sucks like hell. Then I was going to tell you one of mine episodes to make you feel better... But what I really need to do is to learn my fears properly.

What I can say though, is that when I was 12-17, I feared pretty much anything gross and ugly (bees, cockroaches, bats, spiders, snakes, the list goes on and on), to the point where I can't even look at it in magazines or make myself turn the page if my finger was going to touch the page. (I hated National Geographics, but now that I'm a bit older (18), I'm not as scared of some of those things anymore. Which isn't as helpful as I'd like it to be, so I'll just say 'good luck'.

Daknjak · 08-19-2005, 12:40 PM

I am almost speechless after reading this thread. Everything that anlega has descibed is EXACTLY how my life has been, or I should say was when I found out I had Agoraphobia. You know, I will have to write more later because I will start crying soon. If you only knew how it feels to know I am not the only one (I know I am really not, but sometimes feels like it) My family and friends can't relate to this in any way, and it is just great to read this and know that there is someone who understands. Thank You Thank You Thank You for posting this. I really do have more to say but I am just shaking right now.

Elphaba · 08-19-2005, 03:28 PM

Daknjak, I'm glad you found this thread. When you feel ready to talk about it, I think you will find a lot of support here.

anleja · 08-19-2005, 06:20 PM

Daknjak · 08-19-2005, 07:36 PM

As I predicted, I just needed time to sort out my feelings. My own personal struggle with this is almost exactly as you describe. It came out of the blue actually one day when my wife and I were going to go to the store. She drove, and I got in the car, and about a block down the road I had a panic attack. I told her I had to go home. NOW. Every red light took a century. I almost got out of the car and walked I just couldn't take it. I was cold and sweating and numb. My heart was racing and I felt like any minute I was going to throw up all over the car. That is my usual symptom nausea. I get so scared I am going to puke and embarrass myself in public. So I always needed to know where the bathrooms were in places, and how to get out. I even carried around baggies incase I did throw up. Sounds silly when I look at this and read it, but it is no less real.

That was how it started, and what made it worse was the strain that it put on my wife not understanding and her thinking I was faking it. Just ruining the plans we had for the weekends cuz I couldn't bare to go out in public. I felt stupid and I felt horrible for ruining her life as well. That I think solidified it into the problem it became. Things were to the point where I couldn't go to work, and then I knew I had to do something about it. I finally saw a psychiatrist and he put me on Zoloft. It worked for awhile, but the side affects were horrible. To make a long story short, now I am on 20mg of Lexapro, and no side affects to report. I still have to be the one driving, just incase I need to pull over. My wife is the only person I feel comfortable driving with. I hate concerts, and take aisle seats at movies. Flying takes strong meds, and I can't go on boats because I can't get off if I need to. Not a perfect life, but I am outside and doing things I was far too afraid to do.

I also want to thank all of you for your support after my last post. The hardest things to deal with can be how some people just don't get why you are scared of going outside, or driving, or watching a movie. It is best just to do it anyway, and to live life as best you can. It isn't east to live your worst fears everyday like we do. Go tell someone who is afraid of spiders to go touch one and let it crawl on you all day long, everyday. Here is a wish and a hope that all those who face this problem get help, and get better. We deserve it.

ryfo · 08-19-2005, 09:07 PM

daknjak, Mrs ryfo here, I too have real trouble driving and fear beiang in the car alone and with others (how sad is that??) I dont work but I try to get out fairly regularly, I do go to the gym 4x per week and find that it really helps with the physical symptoms. I too fear puking and my main worry is my throat goes dry and I think oh no i am gonna puke here and now(usually in supermarket queue or at someones house or a traffic jam, and I get this horrible urge to 'get out' and run run arun but i am too scared of being outside so i am scared to stay and scared to go so usually i just close my eyes and sing a song over and over to try to get over the panic attack. Some may think i am a fruitcake, but as you said many people have phobias i just fear everything. Good luck and keep in touch

Daknjak · 08-20-2005, 09:03 AM

Ever since this song came out I have identified with it and the way things have been.

Unwell by Matchbox 20

All day staring at the ceiling
Making friends with shadows on my wall
All night hearing voices telling me
That I should get some sleep
Because tomorrow might be good for something

Hold on
Feeling like I'm headed for a breakdown
And I don't know why

[Chorus]

But I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell
I know right now you can't tell
But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see
A different side of me
I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired
I know right now you don't care
But soon enough you're gonna think of me
And how I used to be...me

I'm talking to myself in public
Dodging glances on the train
And I know, I know they've all been talking about me
I can hear them whisper
And it makes me think there must be something wrong with me
Out of all the hours thinking
Somehow I've lost my mind

[Chorus]

But I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell
I know right now you can't tell
But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see
A different side of me
I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired
I know right now you don't care
But soon enough you're gonna think of me
And how I used to be

I've been talking in my sleep
Pretty soon they'll come to get me
Yeah, they're taking me away

[Chorus]

But I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell
I know right now you can't tell
But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see
A different side of me
I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired
I know right now you don't care
But soon enough you're gonna think of me
And how I used to be

Yeah, how I used to be
How I used to be
Well, I'm just a little unwell
How I used to be
How I used to be
I'm just a little unwell

I kind of zone out when I listen to it, and it gives me a little hope now and again that things will get better. And they have, but I still await the day when I am back to what I consider normal. (good luck to you too Mrs. ryfo

)

Daknjak · 08-22-2005, 11:15 AM

I suppose it is kind of childish to relate to a song in such a way, but I don't know if I am alone in this but this has caused me to become rather depressed reguarding my life and the way things have been. I almost feel like I don't deserve this, and in my selfishness, I wish anyone who thinks this is a small problem, and say I just need to get over it, should spend just one day in my shoes. Very selfish indeed.

I am no stranger to being depressed. I went through some counseling in my younger years because of a serious case of lack of self esteem. I was wondering if anyone has experienced in what is my case, a serious self loathing. I know what can happen, I know I can't help it, but I still blame myself most times when I give in to it. I have also noticed, that knowing why this started does nothing to help get over it. Anyone else notice this?

anleja · 08-22-2005, 07:20 PM

Daknjak · 09-13-2005, 12:15 PM

I just wanted to wrote and see how everyone who has responded to this thread has been doing. Life for me has its ups and downs, for instance, I have been without medication for a few months due to some insurance changes, and my hatred of getting a new doctor to go to. I can feel myself slipping back to my old ways and thoughts. This gets me wondering if I completely quit on the meds, if I will eventually fall back to where I was. A very very scary thought. Scary enough to get me to really reconsider if I hate getting a new doctor all that much. The alternative is far worse. Anyone else had this happen where the meds run out, and things fall back to where they were?

03-23-2005, 08:45 PM	#1 (permalink)
anleja disconnected Location: ignoreland	,, .. Last edited by anleja; 07-14-2007 at 01:51 AM..

03-24-2005, 03:11 AM	#2 (permalink)
fatbob Insane Location: Edinburgh	anleja, i'm really really sorry that your are going through this. i have never suffered from this but my partner was diagnosed as agoraphobic whilst we were at university and really suffered badly with it for nearly two years...she is over it now although she does still suffer from panic attacks but she has learned coping techniques that have allowed her to lead a 'normal' life. a bit of history: she was perfectly healthy and stable but then half way through our second last year at uni she started getting panicky during lectures, then at her work, so she stopped going to lectures, started calling in sick to work, eventually she ws avoiding going out at all. it spiralled really badly, getting to the point where she wasn't able to see any point in living at all. she ended up sitting her university exams in our house with a external invidulator, she couldn't leave the house to visit her parents for chirstmas, i'd come home from work to find her curled up in a corner saying she just just wanted to die...it was really horrible...i felt hopeless. we both did. thankfully she had the strength to face up to the problems. she read books on coping techniques, she had visits from a phsyc nurse who talked her though her fears, etc. basically what she learned is to accept that it is happening and that it is not her fault. the body creats a 'flight/fight' state which raises heartrate, awareness, adrenaline levels, etc, and that these things lead to panic and a feeling that you are in danger and that you have to get out. these feelings have to be accepted. they are going to happen for what ever reason but they are natural feelings. to cope with them the most important thing to do is to breathe. mostly to breathe out. what happens if you don't breathe properly, you breath quickens and you feed less oxygen to your brain and body. to breathe properly make sure that you breathe out fully and then in fully using your diaphragm. you can practice this at home, or when you feel safe. at first this can make you feel worse but as the oxygen starts getting around the body and brain again you'll start to come down. another important thing is understand that lots of people suffer from these feelings, you are not alone, or stupid, or shit. it happens and it happens to hundreds of thousands of people all over the world every hour of every day. it really does. once you accept it you can learn to deal with it and live with it. making escape plans is not the worst thing you can do, the worst thing you can do is avoid doing things, avoidance is bad! my partner used to be like you in making escape plans, always wanting to sit at the end seat of a row, etc. bow she still prefers it but has eventually started to realise that it is not the be all and end all if these plans can't happen. my partner now leads as full a life as she could want to and you will too! i'm not sure if any of this will help, i hope it can in some way, but if you want to ask any questions or anything please do and i can hopefully be more specific and less rambling and help you a bit... take care, fb. __________________ change happens when those who don't normally speak get heard by those who don't normally listen.

03-26-2005, 10:02 AM	#4 (permalink)
FlunkedFlank Tilted	to those suffering from this ... is it just a innate, irrational feeling that has no obvious reasoning? or did anything happen in your lives that perhaps could have triggered this? some sort of trauma or abuse? is it perhaps the case that you need to see a psychologist to help deal with an unresolved phsycological issue that just happens to be manifesting itself this way? Do you suffer from depression? I have no idea about any of this, I'm just curious. __________________ Jesus saves ... and Gretzky gets the rebound!

04-10-2005, 09:49 PM	#7 (permalink)
cudaboy Upright Location: NC	I know where your comming from, I also suffer from agoraphobia and PA's. Its a long hard road but with time it can be delt with. Unfortunatly no one really knows what causes it or what medications cure it. Medications help with the anxiety but thay dont cure the problem. I have been med free for over a year now and I am progressing better/further then when I was taking my daily cotail of meds. There is a web site that I frequent that I have to help with those stressful times http://moonbeams.ipbhost.com/index.php Plus there are alot of fellow agoraphobics who are members of the board. If you need a shoulder just send me a pm. JRM __________________

04-15-2005, 10:00 AM	#9 (permalink)
Sage hoarding all the big girl panties since 2005 Location: North side	Interesting, we were JUST talking about this in my psych class the other day... Counselors can and will come to your house to treat you- any psychologist worth his salt will be more than happy to accomidate your feelings of anxiety. Arm yourself with knowledge about your condition- read books, go to web sites, talk with other people who feel this way! The more you know, the more you can help yourself overcome what is bothering you! Also, you don't have simple claustraphobia, it really does sound like you have agoraphobia. I will ask my Psych professor (who is also a thearapist) if she knows of any good books that will help you. Where do you live? Perhaps check the yellow pages and call a psychologist and ask if they know anything that will help- books, Videos, etc. Good luck! __________________ Sage knows our mythic history, King Arthur's and Sir Caradoc's She answers hard acrostics, has a pretty taste for paradox She quotes in elegiacs all the crimes of Heliogabalus In conics she can floor peculiarities parabolous -C'hi

03-24-2005, 04:29 AM	#3 (permalink)
ryfo Psycho Location: melbourne australia	Mrs Ryfo here, I suffer panic and I dont like going anywhere without an escape route I also have just started having trouble driving by myself, but will not share transport with anyone except ryfo 'just in case', this has been the case for 8 years (in varying degrees) and I dont work but just qualified for concession card that cuts the cost for meds and drs visits. Try to learn proper breathing techniques and cognitive behavoir therepy (turning the negative thoughts to positive ones) and fatbob is right avoidance is bad ( been down that road) feel the fear....and do it anyway Good luck and keep in touch

03-28-2005, 12:53 PM	#6 (permalink)
Nikki ~~~~~~~ Location: Charleston, SC	I have very similar problems. The thing that I have learned about anxiety (I have had it my entire life) is never ever give into it. This is what feeds it and makes it stronger. I tired counseling for awhile but at 40 bucks a session I stopped going. It did help me a little. There is no quick cure for it. I deal with it one day at a time and this is all you can do. I wish I had an answer for you, then I would also have an answer for me

04-14-2005, 01:40 PM	#8 (permalink)
Elphaba Deja Moo Location: Olympic Peninsula, WA	FatBob has what is believed to be the best approach to dealing with anxiety disorders. It's founded in behavior modification theory and you should be able to find many self-help books on the subject. There are also counselors that specialize in the anxiety disorders if you have the resources for that. There is a growing body of evidence that the "mental" disorders are more properly considered brain chemistry disorders. Anxiety disorders can be treated with anti-anxiety medications such as Xanax or Valium, but these can be highly addictive. I strongly recommend going the behavior mod approach. Good Luck!

05-02-2005, 05:28 PM	#10 (permalink)
anleja disconnected Location: ignoreland	Wow, I have not checked this thread in quite awhile, I feel bad if anyone thinks I am ignoring their suggestions. I am really sorry for not giving a timely response to these posts. There are some really good ideas here. I'm going to investigate some of them and I'll share my progress. It is comforting to know there are others who are going through this as well, and comforting to know that there are those who are not going through it yet are sympathetic to it. Thank you!

05-03-2005, 12:30 AM	#11 (permalink)
StarCrossed Upright Location: 815click	I suggest you visit a clinical psychologist. It sounds like behavioral therapy would be good. A good way of confronting your fear, is a method called systematic desensitization. You get into a relaxed state of consciousness, and then face your phobia. The idea is; you cannot be relaxed and scared at the same time. Good luck with this hurdle you face. __________________ "Everybody plays the fool sometimes"

05-05-2005, 08:36 AM	#12 (permalink)
Astrocloud Apocalypse Nerd	I think it sounds like you may have GAD rather than agoraphobia. It's worth a consideration: http://www.lexapro.com/english/about...y/default.aspx

05-05-2005, 07:43 PM	#13 (permalink)
streak_56 who ever said streaking was a bad thing? Location: Calgary	Welcome to my world. I am the exact same way. Though I push myself to get through it. That it is better for myself to get out than to stay inside all day. I hate flying, I hate malls, I don't really like to "be out." I have to push myself to go to work and well hopefully I'll get use to it. Just push yourself out of your normal comfort zone and you'll see small changes.

05-11-2005, 11:04 PM	#14 (permalink)
fallsauce Insane	When I saw the thread title, I thought you meant fear of spiders and I thought: Sucks like hell. Then I was going to tell you one of mine episodes to make you feel better... But what I really need to do is to learn my fears properly. What I can say though, is that when I was 12-17, I feared pretty much anything gross and ugly (bees, cockroaches, bats, spiders, snakes, the list goes on and on), to the point where I can't even look at it in magazines or make myself turn the page if my finger was going to touch the page. (I hated National Geographics, but now that I'm a bit older (18), I'm not as scared of some of those things anymore. Which isn't as helpful as I'd like it to be, so I'll just say 'good luck'. __________________ "Hey little kitty with your tail dragging on the floor You could have a following in every town that you go" Electric Six - I Invented The Night

08-19-2005, 12:40 PM	#15 (permalink)
Daknjak Tilted Location: Green Bay, Wisconsin	I am almost speechless after reading this thread. Everything that anlega has descibed is EXACTLY how my life has been, or I should say was when I found out I had Agoraphobia. You know, I will have to write more later because I will start crying soon. If you only knew how it feels to know I am not the only one (I know I am really not, but sometimes feels like it) My family and friends can't relate to this in any way, and it is just great to read this and know that there is someone who understands. Thank You Thank You Thank You for posting this. I really do have more to say but I am just shaking right now. __________________ On a Mens room ceiling: "Why are you looking up here? The joke is in your hand." "He who laughs last thinks slowest."

08-19-2005, 03:28 PM	#16 (permalink)
Elphaba Deja Moo Location: Olympic Peninsula, WA	Daknjak, I'm glad you found this thread. When you feel ready to talk about it, I think you will find a lot of support here.

08-22-2005, 07:20 PM	#22 (permalink)
anleja disconnected Location: ignoreland	.. Last edited by anleja; 02-28-2008 at 06:03 AM.. Reason: cleaning

08-19-2005, 06:20 PM	#17 (permalink)
anleja disconnected Location: ignoreland	.. Last edited by anleja; 02-28-2008 at 06:03 AM.. Reason: cleaning

08-19-2005, 07:36 PM	#18 (permalink)
Daknjak Tilted Location: Green Bay, Wisconsin	As I predicted, I just needed time to sort out my feelings. My own personal struggle with this is almost exactly as you describe. It came out of the blue actually one day when my wife and I were going to go to the store. She drove, and I got in the car, and about a block down the road I had a panic attack. I told her I had to go home. NOW. Every red light took a century. I almost got out of the car and walked I just couldn't take it. I was cold and sweating and numb. My heart was racing and I felt like any minute I was going to throw up all over the car. That is my usual symptom nausea. I get so scared I am going to puke and embarrass myself in public. So I always needed to know where the bathrooms were in places, and how to get out. I even carried around baggies incase I did throw up. Sounds silly when I look at this and read it, but it is no less real. That was how it started, and what made it worse was the strain that it put on my wife not understanding and her thinking I was faking it. Just ruining the plans we had for the weekends cuz I couldn't bare to go out in public. I felt stupid and I felt horrible for ruining her life as well. That I think solidified it into the problem it became. Things were to the point where I couldn't go to work, and then I knew I had to do something about it. I finally saw a psychiatrist and he put me on Zoloft. It worked for awhile, but the side affects were horrible. To make a long story short, now I am on 20mg of Lexapro, and no side affects to report. I still have to be the one driving, just incase I need to pull over. My wife is the only person I feel comfortable driving with. I hate concerts, and take aisle seats at movies. Flying takes strong meds, and I can't go on boats because I can't get off if I need to. Not a perfect life, but I am outside and doing things I was far too afraid to do. I also want to thank all of you for your support after my last post. The hardest things to deal with can be how some people just don't get why you are scared of going outside, or driving, or watching a movie. It is best just to do it anyway, and to live life as best you can. It isn't east to live your worst fears everyday like we do. Go tell someone who is afraid of spiders to go touch one and let it crawl on you all day long, everyday. Here is a wish and a hope that all those who face this problem get help, and get better. We deserve it. __________________ On a Mens room ceiling: "Why are you looking up here? The joke is in your hand." "He who laughs last thinks slowest." Last edited by Daknjak; 08-19-2005 at 07:39 PM..

08-19-2005, 09:07 PM	#19 (permalink)
ryfo Psycho Location: melbourne australia	daknjak, Mrs ryfo here, I too have real trouble driving and fear beiang in the car alone and with others (how sad is that??) I dont work but I try to get out fairly regularly, I do go to the gym 4x per week and find that it really helps with the physical symptoms. I too fear puking and my main worry is my throat goes dry and I think oh no i am gonna puke here and now(usually in supermarket queue or at someones house or a traffic jam, and I get this horrible urge to 'get out' and run run arun but i am too scared of being outside so i am scared to stay and scared to go so usually i just close my eyes and sing a song over and over to try to get over the panic attack. Some may think i am a fruitcake, but as you said many people have phobias i just fear everything. Good luck and keep in touch

08-20-2005, 09:03 AM	#20 (permalink)
Daknjak Tilted Location: Green Bay, Wisconsin	Ever since this song came out I have identified with it and the way things have been. Unwell by Matchbox 20 All day staring at the ceiling Making friends with shadows on my wall All night hearing voices telling me That I should get some sleep Because tomorrow might be good for something Hold on Feeling like I'm headed for a breakdown And I don't know why [Chorus] But I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell I know right now you can't tell But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see A different side of me I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired I know right now you don't care But soon enough you're gonna think of me And how I used to be...me I'm talking to myself in public Dodging glances on the train And I know, I know they've all been talking about me I can hear them whisper And it makes me think there must be something wrong with me Out of all the hours thinking Somehow I've lost my mind [Chorus] But I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell I know right now you can't tell But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see A different side of me I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired I know right now you don't care But soon enough you're gonna think of me And how I used to be I've been talking in my sleep Pretty soon they'll come to get me Yeah, they're taking me away [Chorus] But I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell I know right now you can't tell But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see A different side of me I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired I know right now you don't care But soon enough you're gonna think of me And how I used to be Yeah, how I used to be How I used to be Well, I'm just a little unwell How I used to be How I used to be I'm just a little unwell I kind of zone out when I listen to it, and it gives me a little hope now and again that things will get better. And they have, but I still await the day when I am back to what I consider normal. (good luck to you too Mrs. ryfo ) __________________ On a Mens room ceiling: "Why are you looking up here? The joke is in your hand." "He who laughs last thinks slowest." Last edited by Daknjak; 08-22-2005 at 09:36 AM..

08-22-2005, 11:15 AM	#21 (permalink)
Daknjak Tilted Location: Green Bay, Wisconsin	I suppose it is kind of childish to relate to a song in such a way, but I don't know if I am alone in this but this has caused me to become rather depressed reguarding my life and the way things have been. I almost feel like I don't deserve this, and in my selfishness, I wish anyone who thinks this is a small problem, and say I just need to get over it, should spend just one day in my shoes. Very selfish indeed. I am no stranger to being depressed. I went through some counseling in my younger years because of a serious case of lack of self esteem. I was wondering if anyone has experienced in what is my case, a serious self loathing. I know what can happen, I know I can't help it, but I still blame myself most times when I give in to it. I have also noticed, that knowing why this started does nothing to help get over it. Anyone else notice this? __________________ On a Mens room ceiling: "Why are you looking up here? The joke is in your hand." "He who laughs last thinks slowest." Last edited by Daknjak; 08-23-2005 at 11:31 AM..

09-13-2005, 12:15 PM	#23 (permalink)
Daknjak Tilted Location: Green Bay, Wisconsin	I just wanted to wrote and see how everyone who has responded to this thread has been doing. Life for me has its ups and downs, for instance, I have been without medication for a few months due to some insurance changes, and my hatred of getting a new doctor to go to. I can feel myself slipping back to my old ways and thoughts. This gets me wondering if I completely quit on the meds, if I will eventually fall back to where I was. A very very scary thought. Scary enough to get me to really reconsider if I hate getting a new doctor all that much. The alternative is far worse. Anyone else had this happen where the meds run out, and things fall back to where they were? __________________ On a Mens room ceiling: "Why are you looking up here? The joke is in your hand." "He who laughs last thinks slowest."