Daknjak

As I predicted, I just needed time to sort out my feelings. My own personal struggle with this is almost exactly as you describe. It came out of the blue actually one day when my wife and I were going to go to the store. She drove, and I got in the car, and about a block down the road I had a panic attack. I told her I had to go home. NOW. Every red light took a century. I almost got out of the car and walked I just couldn't take it. I was cold and sweating and numb. My heart was racing and I felt like any minute I was going to throw up all over the car. That is my usual symptom nausea. I get so scared I am going to puke and embarrass myself in public. So I always needed to know where the bathrooms were in places, and how to get out. I even carried around baggies incase I did throw up. Sounds silly when I look at this and read it, but it is no less real.

That was how it started, and what made it worse was the strain that it put on my wife not understanding and her thinking I was faking it. Just ruining the plans we had for the weekends cuz I couldn't bare to go out in public. I felt stupid and I felt horrible for ruining her life as well. That I think solidified it into the problem it became. Things were to the point where I couldn't go to work, and then I knew I had to do something about it. I finally saw a psychiatrist and he put me on Zoloft. It worked for awhile, but the side affects were horrible. To make a long story short, now I am on 20mg of Lexapro, and no side affects to report. I still have to be the one driving, just incase I need to pull over. My wife is the only person I feel comfortable driving with. I hate concerts, and take aisle seats at movies. Flying takes strong meds, and I can't go on boats because I can't get off if I need to. Not a perfect life, but I am outside and doing things I was far too afraid to do.

I also want to thank all of you for your support after my last post. The hardest things to deal with can be how some people just don't get why you are scared of going outside, or driving, or watching a movie. It is best just to do it anyway, and to live life as best you can. It isn't east to live your worst fears everyday like we do. Go tell someone who is afraid of spiders to go touch one and let it crawl on you all day long, everyday. Here is a wish and a hope that all those who face this problem get help, and get better. We deserve it.

__________________
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"He who laughs last thinks slowest."