Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community - View Single Post - I think I have agoraphobia. It really really sucks

fatbob · 03-24-2005, 03:11 AM

anleja, i'm really really sorry that your are going through this.
i have never suffered from this but my partner was diagnosed as agoraphobic whilst we were at university and really suffered badly with it for nearly two years...she is over it now although she does still suffer from panic attacks but she has learned coping techniques that have allowed her to lead a 'normal' life.

a bit of history: she was perfectly healthy and stable but then half way through our second last year at uni she started getting panicky during lectures, then at her work, so she stopped going to lectures, started calling in sick to work, eventually she ws avoiding going out at all. it spiralled really badly, getting to the point where she wasn't able to see any point in living at all. she ended up sitting her university exams in our house with a external invidulator, she couldn't leave the house to visit her parents for chirstmas, i'd come home from work to find her curled up in a corner saying she just just wanted to die...it was really horrible...i felt hopeless. we both did.

thankfully she had the strength to face up to the problems. she read books on coping techniques, she had visits from a phsyc nurse who talked her though her fears, etc.
basically what she learned is to accept that it is happening and that it is not her fault. the body creats a 'flight/fight' state which raises heartrate, awareness, adrenaline levels, etc, and that these things lead to panic and a feeling that you are in danger and that you have to get out. these feelings have to be accepted. they are going to happen for what ever reason but they are natural feelings.
to cope with them the most important thing to do is to breathe. mostly to breathe out. what happens if you don't breathe properly, you breath quickens and you feed less oxygen to your brain and body. to breathe properly make sure that you breathe out fully and then in fully using your diaphragm. you can practice this at home, or when you feel safe. at first this can make you feel worse but as the oxygen starts getting around the body and brain again you'll start to come down.
another important thing is understand that lots of people suffer from these feelings, you are not alone, or stupid, or shit. it happens and it happens to hundreds of thousands of people all over the world every hour of every day. it really does. once you accept it you can learn to deal with it and live with it.
making escape plans is not the worst thing you can do, the worst thing you can do is avoid doing things, avoidance is bad! my partner used to be like you in making escape plans, always wanting to sit at the end seat of a row, etc. bow she still prefers it but has eventually started to realise that it is not the be all and end all if these plans can't happen.
my partner now leads as full a life as she could want to and you will too!
i'm not sure if any of this will help, i hope it can in some way, but if you want to ask any questions or anything please do and i can hopefully be more specific and less rambling and help you a bit...
take care, fb.

03-24-2005, 03:11 AM	#2 (permalink)
fatbob Insane Location: Edinburgh	anleja, i'm really really sorry that your are going through this. i have never suffered from this but my partner was diagnosed as agoraphobic whilst we were at university and really suffered badly with it for nearly two years...she is over it now although she does still suffer from panic attacks but she has learned coping techniques that have allowed her to lead a 'normal' life. a bit of history: she was perfectly healthy and stable but then half way through our second last year at uni she started getting panicky during lectures, then at her work, so she stopped going to lectures, started calling in sick to work, eventually she ws avoiding going out at all. it spiralled really badly, getting to the point where she wasn't able to see any point in living at all. she ended up sitting her university exams in our house with a external invidulator, she couldn't leave the house to visit her parents for chirstmas, i'd come home from work to find her curled up in a corner saying she just just wanted to die...it was really horrible...i felt hopeless. we both did. thankfully she had the strength to face up to the problems. she read books on coping techniques, she had visits from a phsyc nurse who talked her though her fears, etc. basically what she learned is to accept that it is happening and that it is not her fault. the body creats a 'flight/fight' state which raises heartrate, awareness, adrenaline levels, etc, and that these things lead to panic and a feeling that you are in danger and that you have to get out. these feelings have to be accepted. they are going to happen for what ever reason but they are natural feelings. to cope with them the most important thing to do is to breathe. mostly to breathe out. what happens if you don't breathe properly, you breath quickens and you feed less oxygen to your brain and body. to breathe properly make sure that you breathe out fully and then in fully using your diaphragm. you can practice this at home, or when you feel safe. at first this can make you feel worse but as the oxygen starts getting around the body and brain again you'll start to come down. another important thing is understand that lots of people suffer from these feelings, you are not alone, or stupid, or shit. it happens and it happens to hundreds of thousands of people all over the world every hour of every day. it really does. once you accept it you can learn to deal with it and live with it. making escape plans is not the worst thing you can do, the worst thing you can do is avoid doing things, avoidance is bad! my partner used to be like you in making escape plans, always wanting to sit at the end seat of a row, etc. bow she still prefers it but has eventually started to realise that it is not the be all and end all if these plans can't happen. my partner now leads as full a life as she could want to and you will too! i'm not sure if any of this will help, i hope it can in some way, but if you want to ask any questions or anything please do and i can hopefully be more specific and less rambling and help you a bit... take care, fb. __________________ change happens when those who don't normally speak get heard by those who don't normally listen.