*Nikki*

That is funny. You make it sound like a disease.

forehead

odly enough days 10-14 became more pronounced when my wife went off the pill .... of course the mood swings went from a slow climb and descent to rock climing and jumping right off.

indigochild111

Elwood...I'll map this out for you...some of it isn't true for me

I don't ever want to iron. EVER. The bold can be relatively true though.

Maybe this is true....dunno

I'm almost always ready and willing...so...yeah. And I wouldn't have sex with other people because you'd give me what I needed, right? RIGHT?! lol

Not a lesbian, don't like Justin Timberlake, DON'T SHAVE, and don't play Melissa Ethridge. EVER.

Yeah..true.

Always true..minus jelly beans


Hope this has been helpful

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Hold you in

themisfit

yeah...same here.

I might get a little moody....

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ESVM

777

Day 10 - 15

Must mark calender.

Got it.

;-)

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Roger Zelazny

RemyLebeau97

lol, one of the best things I've ever read, thanks.

Willravel

Hallelujah.

Remember peple, this is based on averages. No woman's cycle is exactly the same. This just gives you the framework to build yyour personal understanding on. Apply this to your female so, and see what fits. You can make any corrections that might come up as you go.

skier

yes! smarter than the average man. However, It's still useful to know how a woman's cycle will influence her mood.

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minyn

if guys have yet to make a point to follow their girls cycle for the sake of their own ass, well theyre doomed and this wont help them any.

knowing this kind of stuff is always in the best interests if for no other reasons than knowing when to cover your tail and not ask for sex.

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~A3 "woke up this morning"

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Charlatan

Conveniently enough after 18 years with the same woman, you no longer have to refer to the calender...

Reading her moods becomes second nature...

The warning signs,
Tthe horny signs,
The flying baskets of laundry that get hurled for no apparent reason, you just duck and move on...

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streak_56

I must bow down and thank you for this, my gf and I are really close with this kind of stuff (she likes to share). So, memorizing this could be the next best thing to learning how to potty train.

Thanks

larny

perfect,i now know where i have been going wrong and now i know what to do.

Cervantes

Hehe I keep a very close eye on my SO's cycels, It's almost a game to me, Trying to find new ways to keep her happy during the rougher periods. I must say she appreciates it to no end

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zombie_sympathi

willravel, i'm glad you mentioned that women aren't *always* so significantly impacted by their menstrual cycles. i do think that a lot of your original post holds true, but i'm also a firm believer that people are not completely hormonally driven.

i'm on depo provera and it does curb most mood alterations. however, the first few months i was on it, it made me pretty depressed. i think it amplifies the effects of PMS for some women when they first go on it.

Sweetpea

[QUOTE=willravel]

This was lovely Willravel . . not quite right here and there, but mostly, i found it highly amusing . ..

My real question is:

When are you going to post one about men??
cause, i don't know about other ladies out there who have noticed this . . . but men certainly have their times and moods too . . .



Sweetpea

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Manuel Hong

Love this thread. Me, super horny right before my period. and during. and after. and days 10-15. Four to 5 days PMS, I'm insecure, irritable, tired and emotional. Usually I remember why and lay low. I try not to bring up issues, or even speak about anything even mildly controversial. It is every woman's right to be a bitch, but when day 5 rolls around again I certainly don't want to feel like I "ooops'ed" over the line.

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Believe nothing, even if I tell it to you, unless it meets with your own good common sense and experience. - Siddhartha Gautama (The Buddha)

Willravel

Heh. Ummm.

Football season on Monday nights: He's ready to break boards with his head. Give him the remote and let him yell at the T.V. as if it can actually hear him.

Chick flicks: If you drag him to one of these, you'll pretty much have to....

JK. Actually, as you live with a man over a time, you'll find that his moods could begin to follow along with your moods. There are some alternative medicine practitioners that claim that men actuially have a menstrual type cycle of their own, but I haven't seen anything conclusive.

*The following is a very general description*
Men are pretty simple creatures. We don't introspect like women. We prefer to think things through once and stick with them. We don't socialize like women. Our communication is like a sniper shot; one shot kills. We will say what we think and we want people to do the same to us. We usually attain goals head on. We want people to be honest with us, because we'd rather take everything as it is and to be able to deal with it directly.
If you want us to know something, tell us. If we want to know it, we'll get it the first time. And please, at last once a week, show us how much you love us. It doesn't matter if we're 95 years old. That'll never ever change.

brianna

i find this sort of thing fairly dangerous because it seems to discount a woman's feelings. while hormones affect everyone's mood a woman's personality and emotions cannot be distilled down to "oh, it's day 5, that explains everything." i find that too many people discount women's healthy natural normal emotions based on what they perceive her menstrual cycle to be. (conversely i have known women to expect forgiveness for ridiculously inappropriate behavior because, "it's that time of the month").

Each person is an individual and trying to understand a person based on some preconceived "schedule" is ignorant at best and demeaning at worst.

Willravel

I feel obligated to respond to this as the tread starter. You cannot discount feelings the same way you cannot discount mood as it is effected by hormones. You cannot have one without the other. It is assumed in the original post that you have an understanding of emotional response.

When I get home from work, and I have forgotten our anniversary, I expect my wife to be angry, disapointed, and hurt because I didn't think of her (though I would never in a million years do that ebcause I love my wife more than anything). That is an emotional response.

When I get home from work and my wife is watching Divine Secrets of the Ya Ya Sisterhood and eating mint chocolate chip ice cream, wearing her swaet pants, I can gather that it is possible that she is having cramps and is more proned to a mood swing of some kind. The idea of this thread is to understnad why this is happening, and what you should do to make her more comfortable. I think that in understanding this one of many parts of your partner, you're better able to appreciate and love your partner. When I bring home my wifes favorite ice cream on that certian day, she is not hurt because I think she's a mood robot, she is happy because I love her enough to anticipate and help her when she needs help.

That's what she said when I just asked her a few minutes ago, btw. I'm not just guessing.

I think I'm justified in being a bit offended by that remark. You're conclusion assumes that I am doing this for selfish reasons. You think that I am doing this to figure out women so we can use them and that we discount their feelings in just "dealing with them". What you miss out on is that mood swings and emotions are fundamentally intertwined. If you havge a mood swing, with it comes many emotions that are important and relevant. What I'm trying to do is clue some guys in on what they don't know so that they can be better men to their women (when I say "their women" I am not suggesting ownership, only association).

If hypothetically, your bf/husband/what have you comes home and you're feeling sad and you're craving sugar (which can happen for some women), he should know how to adress what is happening to you in order to make you comfortable. We, as men, do not have one clue what it's really like to have a menstrual cycles. We cannot really sympathise or empathise with you in this. All we can do is our best to make you happy. That's what this is about.

If you're wondering about comments like "She's ready to iron and fold", "She's really horney", or "She's a lesbian", it's a matter of writing to your readers. This post was intended for men (the name of the thread is "Men, you need to read (and memorize) this", lest we forget). I know that a lot of guys apprecaite humor of this type. It's also a great way to make a less than comfortable subject paletable. If that offended you, then realize that it's meant to appeal to your sense of humor, not your serious emotional side (which men and women both have).

brianna

i didn't mean my comment to insult you but i do feel that many of the comments in this thread presents women as somehow lacking. The idea that woman have these weird hormones that makes them confusing and hard to understand paints them as lesser to men. the implication is that men were born normal and women are somehow flawed. I do not think that you or anyone in this thread consciously believes that men are superior to women and i don't want to discourage anyone from making an effort to understand what their SO is experiencing but I just don't think that this sort of formulaic approach is likely to improve relationships between the sexes. EVERYONE has hormones and yet you do not see a thread devoted to explaining men's moods based on when their testosterone is peeking. I think this is because as society we assume that men are rational creatures capable of making informed decisions. Throughout history women have been cast as manic and unable to control their emotions and on some level i think this thread builds on that history.

As a woman I don't think that my mood varies much at all with my menstrual cycle. And while i would appreciate the gift of ice cream on any given day I would be upset to find out that someone had brought me this gift based on an assumption that was made about my mood.

If you want to understand how the women in your life feel you should ask them instead of trying to explain (or even understand) their feelings without their input.

Willravel

Women are not lesser than men. IMO they are better. This is intended as a guide only. The days listed do not by any means apply to every woman. I'm just covering what sex ed. missed in high school. To men, the menstrual cycle can be like the bermuda triangle; it's just a mystery. Men's hormones arguably don't follow the calendar like women's do.

Women are not manic or unstable. To me this seems like you are taking everything this thread has to offer and trying to make it negative. This is about understanding. This is not about men or women being better or worse. Any conversation or lecture about men or women being better of worse is doomed from the start.

Do you think this thread makes out women to be manic and unstable? Does this thread go along with the history you didn't cite in which women are considered useless emotional animals? I don't see that anywhere. All I see are people reacting to some information I chose to give. All I see are people trying to understand or debate what was in my article. I don't see the history of women's rights or anything of the sort.

Honesty time. Your pointing out that there is no male equivalent thread to this one makes several things obvious.
-You were hurt by this thread for some reason, and you think it's only fair to hurt men back. Some sort of emotional equivalent exchange. Well, you have an opportunity to make such a thread if you see fit. I say that if you think that thread needs to be made, then please make it. I would be glad to see it and I would participate and watch the thread with interest.
-You came into this expecting to see bigoted remarks (as sexism is a type of bigotry). You did not cite one post in which there was such a remark, though. Other than some one sentence answers that are too vague to understand completely, there are no such remarks. All you really have to go on are implications that you yourself are are trying to get out of us.

Who said (or insinuated) the hormones were weird? Who said that men don't have hormones? Who said women are flawed? Nowhere are women insinuated to be weird. This is explaining a fact of life that is less than obvious to men. Just because it isn't obvious to men does not make it automatically "weird". That's like calling physics "weird" to people who don't know much about physics. It is simply information that some people don't yet have. I'm trying to educate. Is that really so bad?

This post is mainly about understanding the opposite sex, so that we can bridge the gender gap further. This actually promotes appreciation of women by men. You, as what appears to be a strong woman who wants equal treatment, should be applauding this thread for it’s purpose of bridging the gap.


Just so you know, the article I wrote was not just some article based on experience. A lot of research went into writing it. It is based on several books including Women’s Bodies, Women’s Wisdom by Dr. Christine Northrup and Romance on the Run-Quality Sex for Busy Couples by Tara Roth Madden. I also contacted Dr. Al Cooper, clinical director at San Jose Medical Center who is an expert in male and female sexuality. That guy knows more about sexuality than someone should, btw. He himself attested that these figures are the case often enough to make it the average or norm.

brianna

I have not attacked you and the fact that you have choosen to attack me for bringing up my concerns about stereotyping women saddens me. I made it a point to say that i did not think you or anyone else was being intentionaly sexist and up until you chose to make your post about me instead of about the ideas i presented i thought you wanted to have a discussion about the topic at hand.

I made a number of comments about the nature of this thread and you came back with comments that did EXACTLY what i was warning against -- you discounted my feelings and opinions instead of responding to what i had to say. This sort of defensive angry response will do nothing to raise the level of dialog on this board much less improve relations between the sexes as a whole.

Willravel

I responded directly to what you said. I didn't take offence until you said:

You indirectly attacked me and many other people who posted on here. You were claiming that I was ignorant. Am I supposed to see that as anything other than an attack? I assumed that because you were coming in with an attack, that you were ready for a direct debate. As someone who spends a great deal of time in Politics, this is my standard practice in such a situation. I'm sorry if you weren't expecting a direct response. In my first response I simply addressed your post. There were no intended attacks at all in the first response. I answered that emotion has to go with biology in dealing with the menstrual cycle. I gave you a few hypothtical examples to illustrate my point. Then I addressed your attack. I told you I was a bit offfended. I explained why, and I illustrated my point again with a real life example.

Then you responded with some stereotypes of your own. You assumed that we buy into the "men are rational, women are emotional wrecks" belief (which is sexist, of course), despite the fact there there was no evidence of such a belief system. Then you said you'd be upset if your SO knew you were in the midst of the less desirable part of the cycle and brought you ice cream because of it. You'd really be mad at someone for bringing you ice cream? I'd be happy if someone brought me ice cream because they thought I was meentally diabled. I mean it's ice cream! (darn, now I'm hungry) In case you were wondering, that was a poor atenpt at humor in a desperate attempt to lighten the mood.

Anyways, this post is here to help men to be better husbands and boyfriends (and fathers and brothers). This is intended primatrily to be benificial to the women who have to endure the cycle in order to have children. The way I see it, trying to help women through the cycle is the least we can do. Like it or not, the normal cycle is about a month, and cramps can come when it's time. Hormones do change with the differing parts of the cycle, and those hormones can effect mood. This post isn't about women being controled by hormones. It's not a Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde situation of course. It's the same woman with the same mind, body, and soul. This thread does not imply that women will become emotional wrecks. All this does it create a basic foundation for understanding of the biology of the menstrual cycle and some of the effects that the biology MIGHT have on mood. Do you want your SO to understand why you might not feel well? Do you want your SO to bring you flowers because you might be in discomfort? Somehow that seems more thoughtful than sexist.

ironmaiden7o7

Wow, I'm amazed at how accurate this is.

Willravel

I'm flattered. I take it as a compliment when I amaze people. Even when it's amazment over how I could possibly eat a whole pizza, or drive from coast to coast without sleeping.

Also, welcome to TFP (yeah, I know, I'm like 2 weeks late. better late than never).

Jackebear

Days 24 to 28....damn is my girlfriend a bitch.

Oh well, I still love her.
Great post. Printing it out now. Thanks.

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brianna

ok -- i was not saying that ANYONE here had said anything intentionally sexist. The idea that i was trying to get across is that the concept of prejudging anyone based on what you assume their mood to be is a bad idea. It is not possible to guess at how anyone feels based on a schedule (even if that schedule had been confirmed by the person in question.). Further more this is not your responsibility. As individuals we are all responsible for our own feelings and actions and no person (in this case man) should be expected to predict another persons mood or its likely outcome.

the point i've been trying to make (and i don't think that i've attacked anyone in my effort to make it but perhaps i have not been the best communicator) is that the concept of casting woman as different and confusing is something that has happened through history and has often led to marginalizing women as a whole (I don't feel any need to cite a specific example here as their is little argument that sexism has existed in our society). I am NOT saying that this is what you are trying to do here, only that your actions resemble those that in the past have served to cast women as lesser.

I don't see how this schedule is necessary -- if you're in a healthy committed relationship you should talk to your SO about her moods (not only as they might connect to her menstrual cycle but in general) and make an effort to understand her as an individual not just as someone who has a uterus. People are much more complicated than any schedule can convey. How does having this general idea of what one person thinks every woman's schedule is like help you to better understand your partner? What do we gain by guessing about how someone might feel instead of asking them directly? Why do you think that woman are more affected by hormones than men?

<off topic> a word about communicating: I used to be very active in tilted politics. I am no longer likely to post there because I found that people were less interested in hearing the opinions of others than they were in "winning" the debate. Making assumptions about how someone is reacting to your words and accusing them of having ulterior motives (like: "You were hurt by this thread for some reason, and you think it's only fair to hurt men back.") is never conducive to civilized debate. You'll do nothing more than upset the other person and turn a discussion into a fight. I would love to see less of this on TFP in general.

Tophat665

Cool post. I am definitely going to start tracking on this.

Unduly technical answers = Reader's brain goes numb by the end of the word follic.... in the first line. = Need to repeat in English. (ie. "When she gets ready to produce another egg.")

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Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

Carno

editted.. nothing

uptown

No I don't want my SO to tippie toe in with flowers and ice cream. Yes my period is occasionally painful, yes I often feel sad due to hormones but a whole lot of people have days when they aren't feeling well and they are still expected to act as rational adults,most of em are also still expected to go to work, care for their kids,cook and clean sans benefit of coddling.

If I have cramps I go take some asprin, if I'm sad I go off to a private place where my crying won't annoy or disrupt others. I take responsibility for myself
and that includes being adult enough not to bother/annoy people just because I'm not feeling up to snuff..

Btw,men also have hormonal cycles, testostrone levels rise and fall over the course of a 24 hr day, with the highest levels usually occuring at 10am.

Willravel

There's a difference between coddeling and caring, as far as I know (correct me if I'm wrong). Men aren't being selfish when they try to ease the possible suffering women might have. As the menstrual cycle is a part of most women, men should accept that part of a woman as they would any other part. To exclude menstrual issues from a relationship is to avoid a whole part of a person.

I have said several times that men have hormones that run amock, they just don't do it on a 28 day cycle as far as I know (so it's relavence to this thread is arguable). If you want to write a post similar to mine about the male daily testosterone cycle, I would not only welcome it, I would encourage it.

jaypc2

very very informative thanks alot. but i think it would work best to just figure out your partners individual cycle b/c everybody is differant and that means differant cycles!

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impulse03

this should be stickied at the top of this forum.
hahah

xim

Seems to me like they would have a better chance of concieving if they all were fertile at different times. If theyre all fertile at once only one (or two) of them gets any.

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xim

This is excellent! I mean really really good. I was actually thinking about putting something together exactly along these lines. Now I dont have to. Great Job!

By the way, dont let the people that used this thread as an opportunity to have their own unrelated rant and you as the target take away from how totally awsome what you made here is. It looks to me like you tried to be as diplamatic as you could be.

And as an aside, I DO NOT think its sexist to say that in general women are much more emotional than men. Anyone who has ever raised kids can see the huge difference in the way little girls and little boys perceive the world. Not to mention how men are conditioned by society not to feel.

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If I could be anyone in the world I would be Britney Spears. Shes in so many commercials about pepsi... www.ximcity.com

Captain_Murphy

Just for kicks, I've whipped up a mac program that will tell you which stage a female is currently in based on start of last period and cycle length. I also made it to parody the "Terror Alert Level" warnings. I know a lot of people are going to hate me over this but oh well, I have enough friends already. It's not quite in it's final form yet, but it's pretty close. If there's any fellow mac users here who would like to provide feedback, I'll post a link to it.

insidious_machinae

This message has been deleted.

Willravel

Well I appreciate it a lot. Espically the bit about it not being sexist. I would never do anything sexist as it is contrary to my beliefs and to my nature.

PM the link please, I'd love to give it a shot. I guess there is good software for Macs out there after all!

Ramallah

Why should I have to learn my girlfriend's cycle? If she's having a bad day because of her period, she lets me know. It's called communication.

And anyway, she's always horny and never complains about her period or uses it as an excuse for being bitchy. I guess I'm lucky.

Captain_Murphy

Here's the link. All it does is does the math and picks the stage. According to the initial post, there are 7 phases that last 4 days. Each phase lasts 14.28% of the cycle. Divide the number of days into the cycle by the length of the cycle to get the percentage then pass the info through a series of "if - then" statements. I know, I'm a geek. These are the kind of things that happed during slow days at work.

Anyway, here's the link...
http://home.comcast.net/~jeff.ulicny...e/apps/FAS.zip

If you want to see some of my other stuff, go here...

http://home.comcast.net/~jeff.ulicny/software/