Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community - View Single Post - Men, you need to read (and memorize) this...

brianna · 02-13-2005, 06:56 AM

ok -- i was not saying that ANYONE here had said anything intentionally sexist. The idea that i was trying to get across is that the concept of prejudging anyone based on what you assume their mood to be is a bad idea. It is not possible to guess at how anyone feels based on a schedule (even if that schedule had been confirmed by the person in question.). Further more this is not your responsibility. As individuals we are all responsible for our own feelings and actions and no person (in this case man) should be expected to predict another persons mood or its likely outcome.

the point i've been trying to make (and i don't think that i've attacked anyone in my effort to make it but perhaps i have not been the best communicator) is that the concept of casting woman as different and confusing is something that has happened through history and has often led to marginalizing women as a whole (I don't feel any need to cite a specific example here as their is little argument that sexism has existed in our society). I am NOT saying that this is what you are trying to do here, only that your actions resemble those that in the past have served to cast women as lesser.

I don't see how this schedule is necessary -- if you're in a healthy committed relationship you should talk to your SO about her moods (not only as they might connect to her menstrual cycle but in general) and make an effort to understand her as an individual not just as someone who has a uterus. People are much more complicated than any schedule can convey. How does having this general idea of what one person thinks every woman's schedule is like help you to better understand your partner? What do we gain by guessing about how someone might feel instead of asking them directly? Why do you think that woman are more affected by hormones than men?

<off topic> a word about communicating: I used to be very active in tilted politics. I am no longer likely to post there because I found that people were less interested in hearing the opinions of others than they were in "winning" the debate. Making assumptions about how someone is reacting to your words and accusing them of having ulterior motives (like: "You were hurt by this thread for some reason, and you think it's only fair to hurt men back.") is never conducive to civilized debate. You'll do nothing more than upset the other person and turn a discussion into a fight. I would love to see less of this on TFP in general.

02-13-2005, 06:56 AM	#67 (permalink)
brianna Addict Location: nyc	ok -- i was not saying that ANYONE here had said anything intentionally sexist. The idea that i was trying to get across is that the concept of prejudging anyone based on what you assume their mood to be is a bad idea. It is not possible to guess at how anyone feels based on a schedule (even if that schedule had been confirmed by the person in question.). Further more this is not your responsibility. As individuals we are all responsible for our own feelings and actions and no person (in this case man) should be expected to predict another persons mood or its likely outcome. the point i've been trying to make (and i don't think that i've attacked anyone in my effort to make it but perhaps i have not been the best communicator) is that the concept of casting woman as different and confusing is something that has happened through history and has often led to marginalizing women as a whole (I don't feel any need to cite a specific example here as their is little argument that sexism has existed in our society). I am NOT saying that this is what you are trying to do here, only that your actions resemble those that in the past have served to cast women as lesser. I don't see how this schedule is necessary -- if you're in a healthy committed relationship you should talk to your SO about her moods (not only as they might connect to her menstrual cycle but in general) and make an effort to understand her as an individual not just as someone who has a uterus. People are much more complicated than any schedule can convey. How does having this general idea of what one person thinks every woman's schedule is like help you to better understand your partner? What do we gain by guessing about how someone might feel instead of asking them directly? Why do you think that woman are more affected by hormones than men? <off topic> a word about communicating: I used to be very active in tilted politics. I am no longer likely to post there because I found that people were less interested in hearing the opinions of others than they were in "winning" the debate. Making assumptions about how someone is reacting to your words and accusing them of having ulterior motives (like: "You were hurt by this thread for some reason, and you think it's only fair to hurt men back.") is never conducive to civilized debate. You'll do nothing more than upset the other person and turn a discussion into a fight. I would love to see less of this on TFP in general.