09-30-2004, 03:02 PM | #1 (permalink) |
... a sort of licensed troubleshooter.
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Men, you need to read (and memorize) this...
This is based on a lot of reaserch. You'll want to know this.
There are 28 days in a womans mensrtual cycle. This cycle is what really determines how things go between you and her. For example, on Day 24 you should learn to duck. I talked to sex experts and discovered how the hormonal fluxes in a woman's body affect her moods-and your life-throughout the month. Now I have a handy schedule for you to consult when you want to know which days you're going to have sex, which days your going to get yelled at, and which days your going to get yelled at durring sex. DAY 1 TO 5: She's ready to iron and fold What's happening to her: She may complain of cramps a few days before this, but this is where the cycle really starts. Her estrogen levels are dropping, so there's only a 2% chance she'll get pregnate if you have sex. That would be great news, except you won't be having sex right now. Thanks to those low estrogen levels, she currently sees you as a large lump of cells in a stupid shirt. Your strategy: Lack of estrogen can also trigger insomnia and restlessness, which is why many women feel the urge to clean and organize durring these days, says Christine Northrup, M.D., author of Women's Bodies, Women's Widsdom (I read it so you wouldn't have to). My suggestion: Forget about sex and point her to the clothes. DAYS 6 TO 9: She's up for anything What's happening to her: She's calmer and happier now because her body is saturated in feel-good hormones and endorphins. "That means she's more receptive to new and creative ideas," says Northrup. Your strategy: Break out the new and creative ideas! This is the time to settle old disputes and get buy-in on your golf trip with the guys. DAYS 10 TO 14: She's horney. What's happening to her: A rise in the hormone androgen has rekindled her interest in sex. This causes the thin lining of mucus around her cervix-deep inside er at the entrance to the uterus-to become thin and watery. Your strategy: Your woman's so ready, you may not need more than a few minutes of foreplay. "Set the mood in a few seconds by telling her how much you want to have sex with her," says Tara Roth Madden, author of Romance on the Run--Quality Sex for Bust Couples. Your pants should be off before you finish the sentence. DAY 15: She's really horney What's happening to her: On the positive side, she CRAVES sex because she's at her most fertile. On the negative side, the sex doesn't necessarily have to be with you. Research shows she's mroe likely to be unfaithful during this time. In one study, researchers observed 500 women in nightclubs and found that they were more likely to wear revealing clothes and send suggestive signals to men in this pahse of their cycle. Naturally, the researchers still went home alone. Your strategy: Don't let her out of the house by herself. Instead, take advantage of her adventerous mood by trying a new position or location. DAYS 16 TO 23: She's a lesbian What's happening to her: Her estrogen level is dropping again, so she's less fertile. Research shows that during these 8 days, she's mroe attracted to feminine-looking men because they appear more nurturing (as I call it, the Justin Timberlake factor). She's no longer looking for a strong man to provide sturdy genes and protection. Your strategy: Shave and put on some Melissa Etheridge. DAYS 24 TO 28 She could crack at any moment What's happening to her: Estrogen continues to fall aas tantrum-provoking progesterone rises. This leads to premenstrual syndrome, during which she'll be extra sensitive to criticism, more neurotic about ehr looks, and more likely to thrrow a fit, or a Crock-Pot. Your strategy: Play tennis or go run with her-vigorous exercise can reduce her symptoms. That way, if she "feels fat", at least she's doing something about it. DAYS 26 TO 28: She's craving ice cream and jelly beans What's happening to her: Her estrogen and progerterone levels are falling as her body prepares to start the cycle all voer again. Low estrogen causes her to crave high-fat foods such as chocolate, which studies show can elevate mood. Your strategy: Indulge her cravings by taking her out to eat rather than bringing home some Ben & Jerry's. Reason? She'll eat the whole tub and blame you for letting herr do it. Memorize this, cut and paste this. It has been a great resource for explaining moods for me for going on 2 years. UPDATE - Bonus program for your Mac! Female Alert System! http://home.comcast.net/~jeff.ulicny...rtainment.html Scroll down to the 5th feature. DIGG Please note that this information in this post was compiled by the poster, based on several books including Women’s Bodies, Women’s Wisdom by Dr. Christine Northrup and Romance on the Run-Quality Sex for Busy Couples by Tara Roth Madden. I also contacted Dr. Al Cooper, clinical director at San Jose Medical Center who is an expert in male and female sexuality. Information from this post has been used by Men's Health Magazine. Last edited by Willravel; 02-28-2007 at 02:03 PM.. |
09-30-2004, 04:58 PM | #6 (permalink) | |
... a sort of licensed troubleshooter.
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Quote:
If a girl goes two months without it (irregular, but not unheard of) on a normal basis, there may be a ormone problem. I suggest contacting your doctor. If your doctor says everything is okay, then just simply double the plan, as odds are that your full cycle is doubled in size. Pay attention to two or three cycles in order to determine the average length of a cycle in a case by case basis, and remember: this was written by a man (me). All the secondary knowledge in the world still pales in comparison to first hand knowledge. |
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09-30-2004, 08:32 PM | #11 (permalink) |
... a sort of licensed troubleshooter.
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As I understand it, the actual beginning proper is the beginning of the follicular phase, when FSH* and LH** levels are increased relative to the baseline.
*folicle stimulating hormone: secreted by the anterior pituitary gland and is essential for follicular growth until the antrum developes. It induces estrogen and progesterone secretion at the level of the ovary by activating aromatase and p450 enzymes and exerts negative feedback onGnRH secretion. FSH further induces the proliferation of granulosa cells and expression of LH receptors on granulosa cells. **luteinizing hormone: secreted by the anterior pituitary gland and is required for both growth of preovulatory follicles and luteinization and ovulation of the dominant follicle. During the follicular phase of the menstrual cycle, LH induces androgen synthesis by theca cells; stimulates proliferation, differentiation, and secretion of follicular thecal cells; and increases LH receptors on granulosa cells. The preovulatory LH surge drives the oocyte into the first meiotic division and initiates luteinization of thecal and granulosa cells. The resulting corpus luteum produces high levels of progesterone and some estrogen. |
09-30-2004, 09:26 PM | #12 (permalink) | |
Upright
Location: Kalafornya
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The silent truth asserts it's proof like you abhor. |
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09-30-2004, 11:25 PM | #14 (permalink) | ||
Upright
Location: Kalafornya
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When does the cycle start? Beginning of menstruation? Beginning of ovulation? When Saturn and Pluto are aligned with the moon? When she damn well says it does?
__________________
The silent truth asserts it's proof like you abhor. |
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10-01-2004, 12:11 AM | #15 (permalink) | |
Femme Fatale
Location: Elysium
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I have all the characteristics of a human being: blood, flesh, skin, hair; but not a single, clear, identifiable emotion, except for greed and disgust. Something horrible is happening inside of me and I don't know why. My nightly bloodlust has overflown into my days. I feel lethal, on the verge of frenzy. I think my mask of sanity is about to slip. |
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10-01-2004, 01:58 AM | #16 (permalink) |
Bokonist
Location: Location, Location, Location...
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pretty damn good. lol..thanks
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"Beware of the man who works hard to learn something, learns it, and finds himself no wiser than before. He is full of murderous resentment of people who are ignorant without having come by their ignorance the hard way." -Kurt Vonnegut |
10-01-2004, 06:44 AM | #17 (permalink) |
Drifting
Administrator
Location: Windy City
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Whether or not a girl's cycle is exactly 28 days, all bodies go through the same order of hormone changes. So guys, if you know your girl well, you can still pick up on her moods, even if it won't be EXACTLY day 4, etc. My ex knew my cycle times almost better than I did. Still not an excuse to let PMS control behavior. Saying I'm sorry does help when you do get carried away.
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Calling from deep in the heart, from where the eyes can't see and the ears can't hear, from where the mountain trails end and only love can go... ~~~ Three Rivers Hare Krishna |
10-01-2004, 09:03 PM | #18 (permalink) |
... a sort of licensed troubleshooter.
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I like hearing (reading) womens feedback on this. The reason I posted it, in addition for it being a source of information for some guys who might just not know, is for more information to be added by those who know the subject extensivly; women. Thanks to all who help out on this important subject (I say important, because the more guys know, the happier women can be to be treated in the way that best supports her cycle).
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10-02-2004, 08:20 PM | #25 (permalink) | |
Drifting
Administrator
Location: Windy City
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Who ever said girls were normal, ever? Think of it as becoming very good friends with all sides of our personalities. But it would be wise to avoid a cheerleading squad if the girls are on their period. It's been shown that girls who spend a lot of time together, especially in a setting like that start to have their cycles at the same time. A whole time of hormone raging cheerleaders angry at you might not be such a good thing.
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Calling from deep in the heart, from where the eyes can't see and the ears can't hear, from where the mountain trails end and only love can go... ~~~ Three Rivers Hare Krishna |
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10-02-2004, 08:50 PM | #26 (permalink) | ||
... a sort of licensed troubleshooter.
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Quote:
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12-03-2004, 12:24 PM | #28 (permalink) |
"Without the fuzz"
Location: ..too close for comfort..
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"DAYS 10 TO 14: She's horney.
What's happening to her: A rise in the hormone androgen has rekindled her interest in sex. This causes the thin lining of mucus around her cervix-deep inside er at the entrance to the uterus-to become thin and watery. Your strategy: Your woman's so ready, you may not need more than a few minutes of foreplay. "Set the mood in a few seconds by telling her how much you want to have sex with her," says Tara Roth Madden, author of Romance on the Run--Quality Sex for Bust Couples. Your pants should be off before you finish the sentence." soo i'm totally off here...about then is when i start wanting to eat men alive..and not in the "mmm so hot baby" way..in the "mmm fresh blood" way... and when exactly am i supposed to want to iron? never felt that. ever. but since it seems to follow the other women here pretty close i guess i'm just the freakish outcast
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Some mornings, it's just not worth chewing through the leather straps. Play with each other. Play with yourselves. Just don't play with the squirrels, they bite. |
12-08-2004, 12:16 PM | #30 (permalink) |
Junkie
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It's been shown that the length a woman's period actually decreases when she lives with a male. They also tend to become more regular.
As for the menstrual cycle synchronizing with other female's when they live in close quarters; it may be due to a hold-over from when males would have multiple mates. If all of the females are fertile at the same time it increases the chances of conception. If the females were not all fertile at the same time it would be up to chance since ancient humans had no "real" way to determine fertility. Males have hormonal cycles too ... where does the theory fit in with that? |
12-08-2004, 05:23 PM | #33 (permalink) |
She's Actual Size
Location: Central Republic of Where-in-the-Hell
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y'know, I've been "cycling" for over ten years, and never noticed this pattern...or any pattern, really, other than "ugh, I feel crappy. time for chocolate and naps."
Well, okay, it's always a good time for chocolate and naps. But I'm definitely going to pay more attention this time around.
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"...for though she was ordinary, she possessed health, wit, courage, charm, and cheerfulness. But because she was not beautiful, no one ever seemed to notice these other qualities, which is so often the way of the world." "Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" |
12-08-2004, 11:29 PM | #38 (permalink) |
Psycho
Location: Canada
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Im a fan of when My Woman enters the Horny stage... Thats a good few days... Now I just need to map her moods according to this chart and then extrapolate some stuff and make me a schedule that will allow for optimum sexage.
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You did what with a duck? |
12-08-2004, 11:42 PM | #39 (permalink) |
Psycho
Location: Massachusetts
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When I get home I am saving this to my hard drive. I plan on creating a new religion, The Church of the Conquering Menstrinity of Latter Day Flows. This shall be my bible.
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I think Pringles initial intention was to make tennis balls. But on the day that the rubber was supposed to show up, a big truckload of potatoes arrived. But Pringles is a laid back company. They said "Fuck it. Cut em up." -Mitch Hedberg, '68-'05 Bauer's the man. |
12-09-2004, 06:55 AM | #40 (permalink) |
Pissing in the cornflakes
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I told my wife 13 years ago I'm not changing my behavior based on her hormones. Oddly enough it worked and she is in better control of herself/emotions.
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Agents of the enemies who hold office in our own government, who attempt to eliminate our "freedoms" and our "right to know" are posting among us, I fear.....on this very forum. - host Obama - Know a Man by the friends he keeps. |
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memorize, men, read |
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