Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community  

Go Back   Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community > Chatter > Hall of Fame


 
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 09-30-2004, 03:02 PM   #1 (permalink)
... a sort of licensed troubleshooter.
 
Willravel's Avatar
 
Men, you need to read (and memorize) this...

This is based on a lot of reaserch. You'll want to know this.

There are 28 days in a womans mensrtual cycle. This cycle is what really determines how things go between you and her. For example, on Day 24 you should learn to duck. I talked to sex experts and discovered how the hormonal fluxes in a woman's body affect her moods-and your life-throughout the month. Now I have a handy schedule for you to consult when you want to know which days you're going to have sex, which days your going to get yelled at, and which days your going to get yelled at durring sex.

DAY 1 TO 5: She's ready to iron and fold
What's happening to her: She may complain of cramps a few days before this, but this is where the cycle really starts. Her estrogen levels are dropping, so there's only a 2% chance she'll get pregnate if you have sex. That would be great news, except you won't be having sex right now. Thanks to those low estrogen levels, she currently sees you as a large lump of cells in a stupid shirt.
Your strategy: Lack of estrogen can also trigger insomnia and restlessness, which is why many women feel the urge to clean and organize durring these days, says Christine Northrup, M.D., author of Women's Bodies, Women's Widsdom (I read it so you wouldn't have to). My suggestion: Forget about sex and point her to the clothes.

DAYS 6 TO 9: She's up for anything
What's happening to her: She's calmer and happier now because her body is saturated in feel-good hormones and endorphins. "That means she's more receptive to new and creative ideas," says Northrup.
Your strategy: Break out the new and creative ideas! This is the time to settle old disputes and get buy-in on your golf trip with the guys.

DAYS 10 TO 14: She's horney.
What's happening to her: A rise in the hormone androgen has rekindled her interest in sex. This causes the thin lining of mucus around her cervix-deep inside er at the entrance to the uterus-to become thin and watery.
Your strategy: Your woman's so ready, you may not need more than a few minutes of foreplay. "Set the mood in a few seconds by telling her how much you want to have sex with her," says Tara Roth Madden, author of Romance on the Run--Quality Sex for Bust Couples. Your pants should be off before you finish the sentence.

DAY 15: She's really horney
What's happening to her: On the positive side, she CRAVES sex because she's at her most fertile. On the negative side, the sex doesn't necessarily have to be with you. Research shows she's mroe likely to be unfaithful during this time. In one study, researchers observed 500 women in nightclubs and found that they were more likely to wear revealing clothes and send suggestive signals to men in this pahse of their cycle. Naturally, the researchers still went home alone.
Your strategy: Don't let her out of the house by herself. Instead, take advantage of her adventerous mood by trying a new position or location.

DAYS 16 TO 23: She's a lesbian
What's happening to her: Her estrogen level is dropping again, so she's less fertile. Research shows that during these 8 days, she's mroe attracted to feminine-looking men because they appear more nurturing (as I call it, the Justin Timberlake factor). She's no longer looking for a strong man to provide sturdy genes and protection.
Your strategy: Shave and put on some Melissa Etheridge.

DAYS 24 TO 28 She could crack at any moment
What's happening to her: Estrogen continues to fall aas tantrum-provoking progesterone rises. This leads to premenstrual syndrome, during which she'll be extra sensitive to criticism, more neurotic about ehr looks, and more likely to thrrow a fit, or a Crock-Pot.
Your strategy: Play tennis or go run with her-vigorous exercise can reduce her symptoms. That way, if she "feels fat", at least she's doing something about it.

DAYS 26 TO 28: She's craving ice cream and jelly beans
What's happening to her: Her estrogen and progerterone levels are falling as her body prepares to start the cycle all voer again. Low estrogen causes her to crave high-fat foods such as chocolate, which studies show can elevate mood.
Your strategy: Indulge her cravings by taking her out to eat rather than bringing home some Ben & Jerry's. Reason? She'll eat the whole tub and blame you for letting herr do it.


Memorize this, cut and paste this. It has been a great resource for explaining moods for me for going on 2 years.

UPDATE - Bonus program for your Mac!
Female Alert System!
http://home.comcast.net/~jeff.ulicny...rtainment.html
Scroll down to the 5th feature.

DIGG

Please note that this information in this post was compiled by the poster, based on several books including Women’s Bodies, Women’s Wisdom by Dr. Christine Northrup and Romance on the Run-Quality Sex for Busy Couples by Tara Roth Madden. I also contacted Dr. Al Cooper, clinical director at San Jose Medical Center who is an expert in male and female sexuality. Information from this post has been used by Men's Health Magazine.

Last edited by Willravel; 02-28-2007 at 02:03 PM..
Willravel is offline  
Old 09-30-2004, 03:06 PM   #2 (permalink)
Psycho
 
herostar's Avatar
 
Location: South Dakota
Lol, thanks. Will do.
__________________
Got time to chill?
herostar is offline  
Old 09-30-2004, 03:29 PM   #3 (permalink)
Insane
 
Location: California
hahaha thats awesome!!
Chuckles is offline  
Old 09-30-2004, 03:33 PM   #4 (permalink)
Filling the Void.
 
la petite moi's Avatar
 
Location: California
Except that cycles don't perfectly follow the 28 day plan. What happens when a girl goes for two months without one?

(This was probably just a joke post.)
la petite moi is offline  
Old 09-30-2004, 04:37 PM   #5 (permalink)
Psycho
 
Homey_V's Avatar
 
Location: Canada
I shall devote this to memory... And then it will backfire since Untitled already read it :P
__________________
You did what with a duck?
Homey_V is offline  
Old 09-30-2004, 04:58 PM   #6 (permalink)
... a sort of licensed troubleshooter.
 
Willravel's Avatar
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by la petite moi
Except that cycles don't perfectly follow the 28 day plan. What happens when a girl goes for two months without one?

(This was probably just a joke post.)
I'm glad you pointed this out. This is a general informative post. It does not apply to all women, as not all women have the same length of cycle. There are other factors involved as well. This is a guideline to explain in more detail what happens. The days are rough estamites, one could say.
If a girl goes two months without it (irregular, but not unheard of) on a normal basis, there may be a ormone problem. I suggest contacting your doctor. If your doctor says everything is okay, then just simply double the plan, as odds are that your full cycle is doubled in size.

Pay attention to two or three cycles in order to determine the average length of a cycle in a case by case basis, and remember: this was written by a man (me). All the secondary knowledge in the world still pales in comparison to first hand knowledge.
Willravel is offline  
Old 09-30-2004, 04:59 PM   #7 (permalink)
... a sort of licensed troubleshooter.
 
Willravel's Avatar
 
...And this was not a joke post. Understanding your partner is important.
Willravel is offline  
Old 09-30-2004, 05:23 PM   #8 (permalink)
Upright
 
Location: Heaven........ Nope. Iowa!!
You are completely right except ....... this all changes once you get married. It is like day 24-28 keep cycleing over and over and over and.............


Peace

Howdee
Howdee is offline  
Old 09-30-2004, 05:49 PM   #9 (permalink)
soaring
 
fallenangel's Avatar
 
Location: near the water
hmm, I must say, the days are off slightly, but that's to be expected, otherwise... I pretty much fit in right about here
__________________
all I wanna do is - give the best of me to you
fallenangel is offline  
Old 09-30-2004, 07:05 PM   #10 (permalink)
Registered User
 
saut's Avatar
 
Location: Pittsburgh
This is probably a stupid question, but when exactly is the start of a woman's menstrual cycle? The first day she gets her period?
saut is offline  
Old 09-30-2004, 08:32 PM   #11 (permalink)
... a sort of licensed troubleshooter.
 
Willravel's Avatar
 
As I understand it, the actual beginning proper is the beginning of the follicular phase, when FSH* and LH** levels are increased relative to the baseline.

*folicle stimulating hormone: secreted by the anterior pituitary gland and is essential for follicular growth until the antrum developes. It induces estrogen and progesterone secretion at the level of the ovary by activating aromatase and p450 enzymes and exerts negative feedback onGnRH secretion. FSH further induces the proliferation of granulosa cells and expression of LH receptors on granulosa cells.
**luteinizing hormone: secreted by the anterior pituitary gland and is required for both growth of preovulatory follicles and luteinization and ovulation of the dominant follicle. During the follicular phase of the menstrual cycle, LH induces androgen synthesis by theca cells; stimulates proliferation, differentiation, and secretion of follicular thecal cells; and increases LH receptors on granulosa cells. The preovulatory LH surge drives the oocyte into the first meiotic division and initiates luteinization of thecal and granulosa cells. The resulting corpus luteum produces high levels of progesterone and some estrogen.
Willravel is offline  
Old 09-30-2004, 09:26 PM   #12 (permalink)
Upright
 
Location: Kalafornya
Quote:
Originally Posted by willravel
As I understand it, the actual beginning proper is the beginning of the follicular phase, when FSH* and LH** levels are increased relative to the baseline.

*folicle stimulating hormone: secreted by the anterior pituitary gland and is essential for follicular growth until the antrum developes. It induces estrogen and progesterone secretion at the level of the ovary by activating aromatase and p450 enzymes and exerts negative feedback onGnRH secretion. FSH further induces the proliferation of granulosa cells and expression of LH receptors on granulosa cells.
**luteinizing hormone: secreted by the anterior pituitary gland and is required for both growth of preovulatory follicles and luteinization and ovulation of the dominant follicle. During the follicular phase of the menstrual cycle, LH induces androgen synthesis by theca cells; stimulates proliferation, differentiation, and secretion of follicular thecal cells; and increases LH receptors on granulosa cells. The preovulatory LH surge drives the oocyte into the first meiotic division and initiates luteinization of thecal and granulosa cells. The resulting corpus luteum produces high levels of progesterone and some estrogen.
So, at what point in a Man's cycle is he propelled to answer simple questions with unduly technical answers?
__________________
The silent truth asserts it's proof like you abhor.
pinion is offline  
Old 09-30-2004, 09:52 PM   #13 (permalink)
... a sort of licensed troubleshooter.
 
Willravel's Avatar
 
Unduly technical answers = covers the answer completly and clearly, so no need to repeat.
Willravel is offline  
Old 09-30-2004, 11:25 PM   #14 (permalink)
Upright
 
Location: Kalafornya
Quote:
Originally Posted by saut
This is probably a stupid question, but when exactly is the start of a woman's menstrual cycle? The first day she gets her period?
Quote:
Originally Posted by willravel
As I understand it, the actual beginning proper is the beginning of the follicular phase, when FSH* and LH** levels are increased relative to the baseline.
Not trying to be a dick here but I don't think you answered his question, unless he knows how the "follicular phase" coincides with menstruation; which for the record, I think is a good one (the question) since I sure as hell don't know either.

When does the cycle start? Beginning of menstruation? Beginning of ovulation? When Saturn and Pluto are aligned with the moon? When she damn well says it does?

__________________
The silent truth asserts it's proof like you abhor.
pinion is offline  
Old 10-01-2004, 12:11 AM   #15 (permalink)
Femme Fatale
 
Nancy's Avatar
 
Location: Elysium
Quote:
Originally Posted by pinion
When does the cycle start? Beginning of menstruation? Beginning of ovulation? When Saturn and Pluto are aligned with the moon? When she damn well says it does?

The cycle starts from the first day of a woman's period until the day before her new menstruation starts
__________________
I have all the characteristics of a human being: blood, flesh, skin, hair; but not a single, clear, identifiable emotion, except for greed and disgust. Something horrible is happening inside of me and I don't know why. My nightly bloodlust has overflown into my days. I feel lethal, on the verge of frenzy.
I think my mask of sanity is about to slip.
Nancy is offline  
Old 10-01-2004, 01:58 AM   #16 (permalink)
Bokonist
 
Location: Location, Location, Location...
pretty damn good. lol..thanks
__________________
"Beware of the man who works hard to learn something, learns it, and finds himself no wiser than before.
He is full of murderous resentment of people who are ignorant without having come by their ignorance the hard way."
-Kurt Vonnegut
zenmaster10665 is offline  
Old 10-01-2004, 06:44 AM   #17 (permalink)
Drifting
 
amonkie's Avatar
 
Administrator
Location: Windy City
Whether or not a girl's cycle is exactly 28 days, all bodies go through the same order of hormone changes. So guys, if you know your girl well, you can still pick up on her moods, even if it won't be EXACTLY day 4, etc. My ex knew my cycle times almost better than I did. Still not an excuse to let PMS control behavior. Saying I'm sorry does help when you do get carried away.
__________________
Calling from deep in the heart, from where the eyes can't see and the ears can't hear, from where the mountain trails end and only love can go... ~~~ Three Rivers Hare Krishna
amonkie is offline  
Old 10-01-2004, 09:03 PM   #18 (permalink)
... a sort of licensed troubleshooter.
 
Willravel's Avatar
 
I like hearing (reading) womens feedback on this. The reason I posted it, in addition for it being a source of information for some guys who might just not know, is for more information to be added by those who know the subject extensivly; women. Thanks to all who help out on this important subject (I say important, because the more guys know, the happier women can be to be treated in the way that best supports her cycle).
Willravel is offline  
Old 10-01-2004, 10:16 PM   #19 (permalink)
Upright
 
My girlfriend only has her period 4 time a year, she can skip it for 3 months at a time with birth control... god bless birth control
CHollman82 is offline  
Old 10-02-2004, 07:02 PM   #20 (permalink)
Irresponsible
 
yotta's Avatar
 
My girlfriend is on Depo, which seems to prevent periods.
__________________
I am Jack's signature.
yotta is offline  
Old 10-02-2004, 07:37 PM   #21 (permalink)
... a sort of licensed troubleshooter.
 
Willravel's Avatar
 
Does it prevent the mood alterations? I've been kinda curious about it since I saw the commercials.
Willravel is offline  
Old 10-02-2004, 07:48 PM   #22 (permalink)
ham on rye would be nice
 
greyeyes's Avatar
 
Location: I don't even know anymore
quite helpful, now all I have to do is figure out when day one starts.
__________________
I'm kind of jealous of the life I'm supposedly leading.
- Zach Braff
greyeyes is offline  
Old 10-02-2004, 07:55 PM   #23 (permalink)
It's a girly girl!
 
basmoq's Avatar
 
Location: OH, USA
lol, I like it, I'm gonna have to compare that to my new GF's moods
__________________
"There's someone out there for everyone - even if you need
a pickaxe, a compass, and night goggles to find them."
basmoq is offline  
Old 10-02-2004, 08:10 PM   #24 (permalink)
Crazy
 
Location: Htown, NJ
So basically this gives us men like 3-4 days of dealing with a normal person
mosha is offline  
Old 10-02-2004, 08:20 PM   #25 (permalink)
Drifting
 
amonkie's Avatar
 
Administrator
Location: Windy City
Quote:
Originally Posted by mosha
So basically this gives us men like 3-4 days of dealing with a normal person

Who ever said girls were normal, ever?

Think of it as becoming very good friends with all sides of our personalities. But it would be wise to avoid a cheerleading squad if the girls are on their period. It's been shown that girls who spend a lot of time together, especially in a setting like that start to have their cycles at the same time. A whole time of hormone raging cheerleaders angry at you might not be such a good thing.
__________________
Calling from deep in the heart, from where the eyes can't see and the ears can't hear, from where the mountain trails end and only love can go... ~~~ Three Rivers Hare Krishna
amonkie is offline  
Old 10-02-2004, 08:50 PM   #26 (permalink)
... a sort of licensed troubleshooter.
 
Willravel's Avatar
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by amonkie
Who ever said girls were normal, ever?

Think of it as becoming very good friends with all sides of our personalities. But it would be wise to avoid a cheerleading squad if the girls are on their period. It's been shown that girls who spend a lot of time together, especially in a setting like that start to have their cycles at the same time. A whole time of hormone raging cheerleaders angry at you might not be such a good thing.
This is true. I've seen it happen. It's facinating from a scientific point of view. I wonder how that trait came to be.

Quote:
Originally Posted by mosha
So basically this gives us men like 3-4 days of dealing with a normal person[.]
Acutally no. Women are still the wonderful beautiful people they always were (brownie points). Their mood changes just the same ours gets during the NFL playoffs. The mood, as you might have observed, can change a lot during a cycle, or almost not at all. Most women are normal every day of the month. Somtimes, however, they are not. When they are not, it's good to know why they are not and what to do to make them (and maybe you) comfortable and happy.
Willravel is offline  
Old 12-03-2004, 11:22 AM   #27 (permalink)
Whatever
 
avsdude's Avatar
 
Location: Littleton, CO
Ok, so I made a mental note to count out the days the last two months, and like clockwork on day 15 my wife was all over me. I think I might have to put a reoccuring reminder on my calender so I don't forget.
avsdude is offline  
Old 12-03-2004, 12:24 PM   #28 (permalink)
"Without the fuzz"
 
KinkyKiwi's Avatar
 
Location: ..too close for comfort..
"DAYS 10 TO 14: She's horney.
What's happening to her: A rise in the hormone androgen has rekindled her interest in sex. This causes the thin lining of mucus around her cervix-deep inside er at the entrance to the uterus-to become thin and watery.
Your strategy: Your woman's so ready, you may not need more than a few minutes of foreplay. "Set the mood in a few seconds by telling her how much you want to have sex with her," says Tara Roth Madden, author of Romance on the Run--Quality Sex for Bust Couples. Your pants should be off before you finish the sentence."

soo i'm totally off here...about then is when i start wanting to eat men alive..and not in the "mmm so hot baby" way..in the "mmm fresh blood" way...

and when exactly am i supposed to want to iron? never felt that. ever.

but since it seems to follow the other women here pretty close i guess i'm just the freakish outcast
__________________
Some mornings, it's just not worth chewing through the leather straps.
Play with each other. Play with yourselves. Just don't play with the squirrels, they bite.
KinkyKiwi is offline  
Old 12-08-2004, 11:39 AM   #29 (permalink)
Tilted
 
This explains alot
__________________
mreman4u is offline  
Old 12-08-2004, 12:16 PM   #30 (permalink)
Junkie
 
It's been shown that the length a woman's period actually decreases when she lives with a male. They also tend to become more regular.

As for the menstrual cycle synchronizing with other female's when they live in close quarters; it may be due to a hold-over from when males would have multiple mates. If all of the females are fertile at the same time it increases the chances of conception. If the females were not all fertile at the same time it would be up to chance since ancient humans had no "real" way to determine fertility.

Males have hormonal cycles too ... where does the theory fit in with that?
vanblah is offline  
Old 12-08-2004, 01:02 PM   #31 (permalink)
... a sort of licensed troubleshooter.
 
Willravel's Avatar
 
TY for the info, vanblah. I have my wifes schedule maped out aswell, avsdude. Belive me, it helps. The idea is to learn her cycle, and then to try to help her by satiating her need (or desires) as she needs them satiated.
Willravel is offline  
Old 12-08-2004, 05:12 PM   #32 (permalink)
Upright
 
Yeah, my wife and I have the cycle down to a science... it's like clockwork and good times for me
DeterminedPower is offline  
Old 12-08-2004, 05:23 PM   #33 (permalink)
She's Actual Size
 
CinnamonGirl's Avatar
 
Location: Central Republic of Where-in-the-Hell
y'know, I've been "cycling" for over ten years, and never noticed this pattern...or any pattern, really, other than "ugh, I feel crappy. time for chocolate and naps."

Well, okay, it's always a good time for chocolate and naps. But I'm definitely going to pay more attention this time around.
__________________
"...for though she was ordinary, she possessed health, wit, courage, charm, and cheerfulness. But because she was not beautiful, no one ever seemed to notice these other qualities, which is so often the way of the world."


"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?"
CinnamonGirl is offline  
Old 12-08-2004, 06:35 PM   #34 (permalink)
Tilted
 
Location: AR
Thanks for the info and very humorous!
Dirty is offline  
Old 12-08-2004, 06:40 PM   #35 (permalink)
Crazy
 
Yes, indeed! A good read!
wally is offline  
Old 12-08-2004, 06:45 PM   #36 (permalink)
Crazy
 
lol thanks for the post - I'll keep that in mind .. might have to test it out somehow
Ruse is offline  
Old 12-08-2004, 08:23 PM   #37 (permalink)
Upright
 
Thanks, Good info
__________________
sig for rent
mrlayance is offline  
Old 12-08-2004, 11:29 PM   #38 (permalink)
Psycho
 
Homey_V's Avatar
 
Location: Canada
Im a fan of when My Woman enters the Horny stage... Thats a good few days... Now I just need to map her moods according to this chart and then extrapolate some stuff and make me a schedule that will allow for optimum sexage.
__________________
You did what with a duck?
Homey_V is offline  
Old 12-08-2004, 11:42 PM   #39 (permalink)
Psycho
 
ElwoodBlues's Avatar
 
Location: Massachusetts
When I get home I am saving this to my hard drive. I plan on creating a new religion, The Church of the Conquering Menstrinity of Latter Day Flows. This shall be my bible.
__________________
I think Pringles initial intention was to make tennis balls. But on the day that the rubber was supposed to show up, a big truckload of potatoes arrived. But Pringles is a laid back company. They said "Fuck it. Cut em up." -Mitch Hedberg, '68-'05

Bauer's the man.
ElwoodBlues is offline  
Old 12-09-2004, 06:55 AM   #40 (permalink)
Pissing in the cornflakes
 
Ustwo's Avatar
 
I told my wife 13 years ago I'm not changing my behavior based on her hormones. Oddly enough it worked and she is in better control of herself/emotions.
__________________
Agents of the enemies who hold office in our own government, who attempt to eliminate our "freedoms" and our "right to know" are posting among us, I fear.....on this very forum. - host

Obama - Know a Man by the friends he keeps.
Ustwo is offline  
 

Tags
memorize, men, read


Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 07:17 PM.

Tilted Forum Project

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.6.0 PL2
© 2002-2012 Tilted Forum Project

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100 101 102 103 104 105 106 107 108 109 110 111 112 113 114 115 116 117 118 119 120 121 122 123 124 125 126 127 128 129 130 131 132 133 134 135 136 137 138 139 140 141 142 143 144 145 146 147 148 149 150 151 152 153 154 155 156 157 158 159 160 161 162 163 164 165 166 167 168 169 170 171 172 173 174 175 176 177 178 179 180 181 182 183 184 185 186 187 188 189 190 191 192 193 194 195 196 197 198 199 200 201 202 203 204 205 206 207 208 209 210 211 212 213 214 215 216 217 218 219 220 221 222 223 224 225 226 227 228 229 230 231 232 233 234 235 236 237 238 239 240 241 242 243 244 245 246 247 248 249 250 251 252 253 254 255 256 257 258 259 260 261 262 263 264 265 266 267 268 269 270 271 272 273 274 275 276 277 278 279 280 281 282 283 284 285 286 287 288 289 290 291 292 293 294 295 296 297 298 299 300 301 302 303 304 305 306 307 308 309 310 311 312 313 314 315 316 317 318 319 320 321 322 323 324 325 326 327 328 329 330 331 332 333 334 335 336 337 338 339 340 341 342 343 344 345 346 347 348 349 350 351 352 353 354 355 356 357 358 359 360