juicy

goes to a local college she went to formal, came back a different woman. she said she no longer wanted to see me or talk to me or have any communications with me. she said i was interfering with her college expierence. i asked her straight out, if she met someone else. on my fathers ashes she said no. she said she did not feel the same way about me as i did about her. thats all it took. i said i loved her wished her well, and good luck with life, and without hesitation.... 3 years... gone in a blink of an eye. we had been fighting back and forth for about 9 months, i thought things were getting better. she says that if i went to school ( i dont because i work too goddamed much) i would feel the same way. i said my feelings for her wouldn't change. i find myself looking for excuses to call her, to see her etc.

im crushed beyond belief. i loved ( and still do love this woman) with all my heart

i am once again alone.

please. be sincere in this post, i havent felt this shiity since my dad died in jan

numist

that is definitely no good.

I've been away from my g/f for almost a year now, but we still call each other every day. Sometimes it gets hard, because I work full time as well as being a full time student and racer, but even though tensions flare, usually we manage to work things out within a few days or so.

People do change though, and college is one thing that can change people a lot. If you dont know who you are when you enter college, you find that to be one of the first challenges you hurdle. Most of my friends in their first year didn't know who they were, some still dont know who they want to be, but after a long time of struggling with yourself, you do learn here. A lot of the time some people go through drastic changes. It sounds like this is what happened.

It doesn't make it hurt any less, I know, but if she really has changed that much (and it sounds like she has), then it would have ended one way or another anyway. Again, it doesnt make it easier, but it does allow you to see other possibilities.
Take some time to get over this, it wont be quick and it wont be easy, but there will be another. Take heart in that.

Thats about all I can say, besides, of course: welcome to the boards, I hope your stay is as enjoyable as mine has been.

juicy

well thanks man i really appreciate your words

im going to go back to school in the winter in the same university as her

no not because of her, but i need to go back.. i work really late at night and my day time is perdy much free

so i figure what the hell

4 years is nothing and i can get a degree while im at it.

i love her so much, and everyone i talk to says she'll be back

im really starting to question what they think


although my freind frank said this

if you let something go and it comes back it was ment to be, if you let something go and it doesnt come back, it was never really yours to begin with in the first place.

i miss her so much..

it hurts..

numist

well, whatever happens, tread lightly, think before you act, and when you act, do it right.

Careful going back to school though. I work and school (as mentioned above) and its damn near impossible to stay on top of everything. You might even forget about a g/f because theres no time. Just make sure you get your sleep, no joke it really helps. (Take this from a guy who isnt sleeping tonight :P)

Good idea though, getting the initiative going, definitely in your best interests.

I believe the quote that you have there is an old adage:

same sentiment though, and definitely good advice to live by... try holding sand in your hand. Now hold it with a tight fist. You lose more sand when you grip it tightly, the same applies for anything else in life, so let it go for now, and see how things play out.

Grommell

I dont usually reply on these boards, But I had sorta the same thing happen to me once, so i felt like what I say has relevance.

It happens to everyone, I know thats not very reasurring, But its true. Everybody gets their heart broken, and in time you will - like everybody - move on. There are many other girls in the world who will have time for you, and if your going to university like you say you are, You'll most likely meet one.

Use this time to learn about yourself as an individual. Time heals all things.

Jesus Pimp

A similar thing happened to me recently. 2.5 months of invested time gone in one day. Girls sure know how to fuck with your mind. Screw them (well not literally, well only if you want to ), you find that special someone some day when you least expect it.

__________________
Never date anyone who doesn't make your dick hard.

oberon

Take this from me. School essentially requires 30-50 hours a week of my time (on a 14-to-16-credit schedule). And, get this. You're required to think (usually). Work is just a regurgitation of past knowledge most of the time. So props to anyone who can handle both FT school AND FT work without failing any classes.

I just PT work and focus on school. There is no room for a girlfriend mostly due to external activities... so you can forget about having one if you do FT work & school, as numist says.

Good luck dude.

__________________
"There are finer fish in the sea than have ever been caught." -- Irish proverb

skysooner

This may be the best thing that has happened to you (although it certainly doesn't feel that way yet). It sounds like you are both at the age where people really begin to change and form their adult opinions. Who you are won't change, but the way you view the world will. Give her the time off and don't really try and pursue her. Schooling is something that you can do for yourself that can't be taken away. While it is hard, it is a lifelong gift to yourself. If you can manage the time, see other women. If she comes back, it will be because she wants to and not out of feelings of guilt. If she doesn't, then you have avoided a potentially messy future situation.

Joy-Stick

i had my first love do almost this same thing to me about 3.5 months ago and i just got over her last night. no not because i met someone else its just that i realized that i had a good special time with her and now that its over its just one of those good memories for me to look back on. what i suggest you do is to go hang with your friends that you have had for a while, do the things you use to to before you saw her. go out and have fun. meet new people. take a little time to yourself. buy that thing that she would not have liked you having so you didnt get it but wanted it. go skydiving or do something that she would have never wanted to do. what i suggest you dont do is call her or contact her or any of that. she knows you still love her and if she wants to come back to you she will. i know its hard but the best thing you can do is just let it be.

__________________
Can god microwave a burrito so hot not even he could eat it?

Holo

Man that sucks...You will get past this tho. I personally would never take her back...she left for a reason and I may not be the grand prize but I'm not a revolving door either. Take the time you need and get on with your life. If you decide to let her come back good luck to you, but I would be on guard to get hurt again.

__________________
I happen to like the words "fuck", "cock", "pussy", "tits", "cunt", "twat", "shit" and even "bitch". As long as I am not using them to describe you, don't go telling me whether or not I can/should use them...that is, if you want me to continue refraining from using them to describe you. ~Prince

juicy

do you think that i really miss her, or miss the companionship that i had with her, because i sure as hell feel alone. well she called me today.. we talked for a good 20 mins. didnt bring up the relationship once. i guess im doing ok.

burntmonkey

College is the best time of their lives for most people. I can understand the desire to cut strings and relationships, but I'm sorry that it happened to you.

analog

going to college and meeting all those new people, all those new things, can really change a person's whole perspective on things. it's shitty that it happened, and I feel for you, but soon you'll see that it simply wasn't meant to last forever, and then you'll feel better when the real Ms. Right comes by. Good luck.

juicy

i can only hope

i though she was ms. right

but alas im wrong! or am i?


i guess ill just have to let time do its thing.

mistered

I know you're crushed. But after some time ... maybe even years ... you'll realize this was the best thing that could happen.

You said it yourself ... you were fighting all the time. Life shouldn't be that way with the one you love.

Get back out there and date. You will find some great women out there. Just remember that this will pass, and that this will be a good thing years down the road.

juicy

ive been feeling better and better by the day


just taking my time..

i hope all of what you guys say comes true

3032

I understand how you are felling. My wife just left me 36 days ago. We dated for 3 years and were not even married for 10 months. I feel she was my soulmate and she just told me on nite, out of the blue, that she wanted a divorce. We had you little problems when first married but nothing big. I know how it feels when people say "there are other fish in the sea" but you just feel like you do not want other fish.

I do know with time things get better and if other people can make it through this, I can too.

My 2 cents. If you find out what helps you get over it post it. Maybe it will help me.

juicy

well what im doing.. is the things that i couldnt do while i was with her.. hang with the guys... go shooting.. enjoy my new truck.. look and talk with other women.. without the reservation of thinking... this isnt right...

im only 20...

im going back to school.. and i have a whole life ahead of me.. sure it hurts sometimes.. and i wish i was back in her arms... but now.. we talk almost everyday.. and its just like... ok.. i dont get the feelings back.. its like now i understand her! wow.. i said it..


im feeling better day by day..


and like i said... i do miss her... she was my life for 3 years.. but you cant frown on it forever life goes on.. and you must go with it..


i can actually smile now.. wow.. what a difference time makes.

Smoey

your suffering, and eveyone else's pain should be an indication that your not alone, and it is completely normal to experience this. relationships can be very complex and yet simple too. My advice to you and what I have learn that helps: work your ass off, keep busy, keep your day full and find yourself, and live it up your only twenty

Kurl

keep yourself as busy as possible bro. Idle hands...

FallenAvatar

I can't say why she left you. It could be because you were fighting. Maybe it was becuase you don't see each other. Or maybe she really just got over you. You can always try talking to her later down the line and still see if she'd like to be friends. Some people are going to say it won't work but it can, if you still do love her you can atleast give her your friendship.. if she'll take it. Maybe you'll get her back maybe you won't. It was long distance and those always suck. I've thought about something like this for a while, I for example am in love with someone very much, but we live far away, it's hard to keep it together, but we manage barely, sometimes I wonder if it's even worth it? Then I think about her and it is. Sorry if that makes you feel worse but the distance apart and the new things she is experiencing may be the cause of your relationship's downfall.

Go out with some friends and have a good time.. Maybe meet a new girl and have some fun.. you might find something different you like in a new woman. You've been dating her since you were 17, so that can state you've either been with only her, or maybe the farthest with her. Maybe it's time to taste other wine?

__________________
Fetch me the spirit, the son and the father,
Tell them their pillar of faith has ascended.

amge

Same thing happened to me. She went to college, I went to a different college. All of a sudden she changed. Acted like she was too good for me. I asked her if she met someone, and she said no. It's just different. I knew the truth because her room mate told me she was seeing another guy.

Anyway I was heart broken, but here is the best part. Well after she ended it with me she felt comfortable to sleep with the guy that she was messing around with. Well her new guy had an STD that he didn't know about. Now she has it.

She called me crying and saying how sorry she was. Again her Room mate told me about the STD that she had gotten, so I know she was trying to pass it to me.

I told her that I had to change my phone number because I lost my cell phone. The new number that I gave her was the local free clinic number. I wish could have seen the look on her face.

Anyway back to your topic.

I know it's sad but in time things will get better, and you should go meet other girls. You are still very young. Have fun, and be safe.

The.Lunatic

your fuct out of your mind emotionally for a while.

All i can say is it gets better.

Oh and it helps to think of it this way. This is a life experience, pretend that your 80 and looking back on your life would you really of wanted to never have you heart broken, never really known the meaning of love lost? I'm not going to give you any advice on what to do in the mean time, you can figure it out on your own. Maybe you'll make a mistake or two, but those are your mistakes, and the really make life worth living.

Would you really want to go through life getting everything you want?\

//edit i changed my mind i will give you a little advice

Forgiveness is a descision. Not a feeling.

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Proud memeber of the Insomniac Club.

aestivalis

My nephew just experienced this recently.
He was one school year higher than his girl friend.
So when they kept going out when he was in college, and she was in high school; they seem to always get along fine.

They also had a lot of time going out or spending it the family or family pets!

however, when the girl just got into college this year (a different one, cullinaryschool actually), she somehow started to ignore him, until basically there was no contact.

Dunno if she found another guy; but i wouldn't rule out the idea that meeting a lot of different people in college made her relationship 'dull' or less interesting.
There may not necessarily be another guy, but she may simply have more fun with her new gang.

My advice to my nephew... even if he still loves her a lot...
Keep that feeling, but don't dwell on it.
It's her loss she gave up a guy who's serious about her; and he could go around and find another 'more deserving' girl anyway...

cameroncrazy822

I'm sorry to ay brother but she did find someone else and is seeing him as we speak. It sucks and is hard but it's a reality of our times. The best thing you can do to try to get her back is to leave her alone and act like it doesnt bother you. If she loves you she'll hear that you've been movingon and try to get you back. If she doesn't do this then you guys are over and it's her loss. hang in there...