MacGyver

I've been there man. one girl friend did that to me after sex and she was out for about 2 minutes. I knew she was still breathing so I wasn't worried about her being dead... but it was a freaky experience all the same.

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More is more and less is less,
More is better and twice as much is good too.
Not enough is bad,
And too much is never enough unless it's just about right.

stimukey

I got nothin that really rivals the original, but here are a few:

there was the one in college that would open the floodgates when we'd 69...I'm talkin serious fluid release here, soaking my face, chest, sheets, everything. gotta admit, i love that.

my ex would cackle whenever she would come. we're talkin wicked witch of the west here.

then there was this artist that i was sleeping with off and on that would wrap her legs, arms, everything around me and squeeze as hard as she could for a good 30 seconds, while she screamed "You have an iron cock!!!" That was always a good one for the ego.

This makes me miss being single...I'm going to go crawl into bed with my sleeping girlfriend that has a cough. lol

hu-man

OMFG! Stomach cramps! Stomach cramps! Vision of cum out of nose too much... must... wipe...tears...off...face...

nukeu666

damn funny thread

cant wait to have sex(for the 1st time)

tekaweni

hu-man: Great to be able to love and laugh at the same time

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If you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always gotten

sailor

Yes, the beloved catfish. Can't say Ive ever known anyone (until now) to actually have it happen, though!

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"Good people do not need laws to tell them to act responsibly, while bad people will find a way around the laws."
--Plato

PredeconInferno

Wow, that story is a very interesting tale of - LEAVE THE COUNTRY AND CHANGE YOUR NAME :-P

No, but seriously, Justin gives that probably a 4.0 on the "weird-o-meter" and maybe a 2.5 on the "wtf is this?" meter.

/two cents

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Samurai in Training
Knowledge is power. Guard it well.

Aladdin Sane

I'm adding my two cents mainly just to revive this most excellent thread, as I don't have any story as good as some above.

I had a gf who once orgasmed from nothing but kissing. The first time she came she was on top. She dug her fingernails into my chest, and started screaming. She said it was literally "electrifying." In her mind she was riding a white stallion naked, on the beach. All of this happened over 20 years ago. I recently saw her, and she still swears she was transported to that beach on that white horse.

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Ceterum censeo Carthaginem esse delendam.

Bamrak

Wow, this one hasn't been around for a while. Thanks for reviving it again! It's as good as it was the first time around.

ARTelevision

To me, there's nothing that surpasses massive female ejaculation.

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wonderwench

The "mommy, mommy" thing reminds me of an old boyfriend who screamed the same thing once when he came.

I must admit, it rather harshed my arousal.

R3d

one of my ex's.. when she came she would giggle uncontrolably for like 5 mins.. just rolled over and just layed there giggling.. it was cute..

with halx and the purring thing.. ive made my current girl have an orgasm just by suckin on one of her fingers.. she kept poking me then i ended up kinda nibblin her finger then sucked on it.. she just kinda fell over after a bit.. i had no idea that could happen..

wonderwench

It just goes to prove that the brain is the most important errogenous zone.

raeanna74

Yeah I'll actually break the capillaries in my face. I try to keep breathing but it's nearly impossible and then my face gets all blotchy. It's really annoying afterwards. I get teased about it all the time from our swinger friends. I think the guys find it gratifying if they can make me do that despite my efforts to avoid causing my face to look like that for a couple days.

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"Always learn the rules so that you can break them properly." Dalai Lama
My Karma just ran over your Dogma.

tenchi069

I once was going down on my girlfriend and didn't let up even after she orgasmed 2 or 3 times, ( she knows she just has to tell me to stop and I will if it starts to hurt ). Anyway, about 15 or 20 minutes goes by and shes really into it and she locks her legs around my neck and squeezes. I kept licking her just because I was loving her reaction, but the room started spinning and I realized I was either on the verge of passing out or actually did for a moment. We both laugh about it to this day.

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Problem Lies Between Seat and Keyboard.

Lassus

my weirdest is my ex.... after the first couple of nights with her she would orgasm on command... and shes a gusher boy did we ruin that hotel room aahahhahah not to mention a few pairs o her pants

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Aladdin Sane

On command? Please explain. Sounds intriging.

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Acetylene

Well, this interesting more from a scientific point of view, but once when I was with my ex and blowing him, I had let go of him with mymouth for a quick breath of air when he came and it shot over his head and onto the backboard of the bed, where it immediately stripped the varnish off the wood! Makes me wonder what it would have done to my mouth :P

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fearwall

Strangest I ever had was a girlfriend in college that had very bad asthema. We were both n00bs to the ways of sexual euphoria.

I went down on her for the first time and it was one of the first full blow orgasms she ever had. About 1 minute after she stopped squeeling she stopped breathing as well. And started shaking and quivering. Not a good quivering. Sort of like a fish out of water flopping. I was able to make out the words "Inahler" once in one of her gasps and ran out to get that for her. After about 30 minutes she finally started to calm down and was able to breath normally.

She said that if had gone on much longer she was going to get me to call 911.

Imagine that - first time I make a girl cum and I have to call an ambulance!

MooseMan3000

Heh.

There were lots of times at college in my girlfriend's dorm room where we would be in the middle of something, and she would get particularly vocal. She would usually be just on the verge of climax when someone in an adjacent dorm room would start pounding on the wall. That in itself turned her off, but to make up for it I would tie her down and hold her mouth shut, which would then get her going even better than before.

The weirdest orgasm overall, though, goes alng with tenchi's description of nearly passing out... except I'm quite sure that I passed out. I was going down on her after a lengthy session, and after I had come once and she had come 4ish times already. She was nearly ready to come, so I began fingering and licking simultaneously, then I told her to "squeeze me."

Well, you can imagine what happened from there. I most definitely went under for a while, but she didn't notice because she did too. We both blacked out. I think I was only out for 5 seconds or so, but she was out a good 30. It was a good time.


Note: "simultaneously" is a really, really hard word to spell at 3:15 AM.

bobby

DIDN'T READ ANYTHING BUT THE FIRST ENTRY(NO PUN)...WOWZER..THE CRAZY ONE ARE ALWAYS THE MOST MEMERABLE!!!/// XOXOXOO

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TexanAvenger

That seems like a really strange joke for them to have thrown into that show since he was molested as a kid...

While I understand what you're talking about, and even had a girlfriend who did the same thing (I always thought something was wrong too until she explained it...), it is extremely disorienting to read your post and then look over to see your Pepper Ann avatar...

KinkyKiwi

LMAO..this thread is great...I can cum from someone either 1.kissing my neck, breasts or inside of my knee or 2.telling me how much theyre going to tie me up and hurt me...

and when i cum sometimes like i open my mouth so wide that my jaw dislocates..literally you can hear it click

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Play with each other. Play with yourselves. Just don't play with the squirrels, they bite.

Ambiguity

Not so much wierd, but cool, the first night i really went to work on my girlfriend, she came 5 times. When she came down from the last one she says in this really accusatory tone while still reeling, "what is WRONG with you??!!"

ah... the memories. Still so fresh...

c172g

When I lived in a frat house in college, there was a girl that made a few appearances in different bedrooms (though never mine). As is life in most frat houses I imagine, the one nighters get reported to everyone at some point. This girl had been with about three or four of the guys in the house & all reported the same thing when she came...she would yell "I SAW GOD!".

Gilda

My SO has done something to me that makes my hypersexual around her. She can make me come, hard, just by nibbling a bit on my earlobe and making this noise--I can't really describe it, it's kind of a purring combined with a clicking--or by rubbing me in just the right place in my lower back, and she has on occasion done this in a movie theater or restaurant. When she does, I literally flush, break out in a sweat, let out a little squal, stop breathing for between five and ten seconds, and end up with damp panties. I've taken to carrying a spare pair of panties in my purse for just this reason, though sometimes she won't allow me to put the fresh ones on afterwards. I've taken to wearing dresses rather than a skirt and blouse for this reason, as she has a habit of sticking her hand up the back of a blouse as we're being seated to do this to me. Unfortunately, a girl can't wear dresses all the time, so she still gets the opportunity, and sometimes she just tells me what to wear, and I know what I'm in for that night.

And it's apparantly very noticable to others, as the "little squeal" tends to carry quite well indoors, and if she does it while I'm in the process of sitting down, my knees buckle a little and I end up losing my balance and sitting hard.

Squishor

Sometimes after I've been fucking really hard and/or orgasming, I just stop breathing for a while. I think it's just because my body is so saturated with oxygen due to all that hard breathing, but it'll be up to 30 seconds or more between breaths for a period of minutes...it's scared a few people, they get this panicky look and say, "How come you're not breathing?!" I guess it doesn't help that my eyes would generally be closed as well...

I had a good friend for years who was a little on the kinky side. One year I went over to her house for a holiday dinner. I showed up and she said she and her boyfriend were barbecuing a turkey so the meal wouldn't be ready for a while, and she had more friends coming over later so we just hung out in their living room and socialized for a bit. She had just moved in with her boyfriend and I didn't know him all that well.

After about an hour, my friend approached me and said, in a very businesslike manner, that she and her boyfriend were really horny and wanted to do something about it. She said that they could go in their bedroom but they thought it might be a little rude to leave me out there alone, so would I like to participate? I hesitated at this, since I was not even remotely attracted to either one of them, but she said they had a role for me that would involve no touching. I thought, "Hell why not, might as well have an interesting experience" so I agreed.

It turns out they wanted to play a bondage/discipline game where they took turns flogging each other with an assortment of instruments, which they proceeded to bring out from their bedroom and hang on the wall. They had bulwhips, cat o'nine tails, various other whips and some homemade-looking things I couldn't name. The deal was, I was to roll the dice in a cup they handed me, then the person on the bottom would get the number of lashes I had rolled. I hesitantly agreed, and poured myself a large drink (I figured I'd need it). They changed into leather garb. They were not sexy.

We proceeded with this scene, although I found it absolutely bizarre and more surreal than I can describe. I have to admit, I was not turned on in the slightest. To make matters worse, I kept worrying the whole time that the other friends coming over were going to pop in in the middle of all of it. I just sat on the couch nervously and rolled the dice as they flogged each other and got all worked up. Then, I noticed something absolutely bizarre - I kept hearing this little electronic tune playing somewhere nearby. At first I thought I was imagining it but once I started paying attention, sure enough there it was...it was "Jingle Bells." "Crack...crack...crack..."Oh baby, I've been a bad girl, I need to be punished!"...dashing through the snow..."Whap! Whap!" ...in a one-horse open sleigh... WTF??

The pace picked up as I sat there, stunned by the surreality of it all and wondering if the turkey was burning. ... "Whap! Whap! Whap!" ...jingle Bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way... My friend was squirming and screaming, and I was looking around for another drink. She was yelling her head off "AAAAH! AAAAH!" and I kept hearing "dashing through the snow..." I was enormously relieved when she had a huge orgasm and they finished. Strangely, the music also stopped. Not 15 minutes later, the other friends showed up and we all had a nice turkey dinner, me doing my best not to laugh with "jingle Bells" playing in my head.

It wasn't until later, after I mentioned it and they realized they had given me the holiday mug that played a tune when you moved it to roll the dice with, that any of this made any sense.

Phant84

for me the weirdest was when i was going down on my SO. First, my SO is a squirter (god i love that), so anyway, i'm going down on her, she tells me that she is getting ready to cum, so i go at it a little harder and faster to help get there, and then she came, with the normal blast all over my face and bed. i let up, take a sniff, and then look up at her while she is panting and ask her "did you just pee?" according to her, she came so hard that she pissed at the same time, i thought she did, but she wasn't sure if she did or not. so either thats the story, or my SO is a in the closet goldenshower goddess

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Phant

Irrationality is the square root of all evil

Hardknock

delete....

doncalypso

Around the time when I first started to get sexually active with my girlfriend I once went down on her and kept going after she had cum... Her clitoris was so sensitive that she got me in a headlock with her thighs, and she ended up scratching my neck so hard with her nails that it felt as though my neck was on fire all day long when I went to class in the morning.

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Doncalypso... the one and only Haitian Sensation

dksuddeth

or aural.

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"no amount of force can control a free man, a man whose mind is free. No, not the rack, not fission bombs, not anything. You cannot conquer a free man; the most you can do is kill him."

Suave

Haha this whole thread is hilarious. I love the (SERIAL KILLER) sidenotes in the first post too.

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"Few people are capable of expressing with equanimity opinions which differ from the prejudices of their social environment. Most people are even incapable of forming such opinions." - Albert Einstein

"Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools, because they have to say something." - Plato

Rinndalir

There's no way I can top some of these, esp the SERIAL KILLER, that just...yeah...WTF

Back in ye olde college days, I lived in the dorm and my neighbor one year was this tall black dude, basketball player, pretty nice guy but he had a different girl over in his room like every night. One particular chick was his main booty call, or his girlfriend or whatever, and I could always tell she was over because I'd hear (through the paper thin walls) "OH FUCK YEAH, I'M A FUCKING SLUT, FUCK ME LIKE A WHORE, FUCK YEAH FUCK ME HARDER YOU SONOFABITCH" and every time it'd sound like they were tearing the damn room to pieces, it was hilarious.

cellophanedeity

The first time I had oral sex, I couldn't walk very far 'cause of how trembly my legs were.

I spent twenty minutes just sitting on my kitchen floor.

doncalypso

First time I got a blowjob I felt like my legs were made of cotton.... it didn't help that I was standing up and she was sitting on my bed.

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Doncalypso... the one and only Haitian Sensation

LoveDDbbw

The best I can come up with is on my estate/project.
I met my new girfriend at the tube/subway.
And on the the way home to my flat we started kissing and petting.
It was twilight and we hid behind the pillar of a tall tower block whilst we kissed and I fingered her clit.
She came!
We broke up years ago - but evertime I walk past that block of flats I can't help but remember giving someone an orgasm there.
Steve