Most Bizarre Orgasm You've Witnessed - Page 2 - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

urizenxvii · 07-22-2003, 02:43 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by tisonlyi
A follwer of Freud?

I'll leave you in your glass house. I shall not start throwing stones.

Me - more of a leaning towards the cognitive school and methods.

huzzah! freud was smart, but he had... issues... of his own

judd dredd · 07-22-2003, 04:05 PM

Pretty tame in comparison to some of the stories, but here's mine: My second wife would squirt (female ejaculate) whenever I went down on her, it is by far the coolest experience I have ever had. Unfortunately I have never met a woman since her that has been able to orgasm like she did

Donkeypuncher · 07-22-2003, 04:10 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by judd dredd
Unfortunately I have never met a woman since her that has been able to orgasm like she did

[/B]

http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/showthr...threadid=17786
=)

djmorton · 07-22-2003, 11:33 PM

I'd love to see the thread of 'strange people we've slept with". I guess I'm not lucky enough to have any bizarro stories.

Scrub0 · 07-23-2003, 02:07 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Mill
In highschool my girlfriend would get really turned on by having sex in public places.

We were at a party and started fooling around in one of the bedrooms. Whenever we started really getting it on someone would walk in. We decided to go to the only room in the house that had a lock, the bathroom.

Locked in the bathroom we start doing it with her spread on the counter. After a few throws I realize that the vanity won't hold up to too much pounding, so I sit her on the toilet and just finger her.

Whenever someone would come banging on the door to use the can, she would get close to climax. After a while a big line of people were starting to wait at the door. I decide I better get down, getting the right angle to get her off quick.

There I am kneeling in front of her spread on the toilet. I have two fingers in, and pushing up, going slowly faster around in circles, the way she likes it. The whole party has now come to pound on the door and shout for us to get out. She starts screaming and starts gushing like there's no tomorrow. It's all over me and the bathroom rug. Everyone outside is silenced, then starts laughing, realizing what was going on inside.

I had never experience a female ejaculation before, and it was all over the front of me. We just grabbed a towel and got out of there.

What turned her on was everybody trying to breakdown the door and catch us.

That's not as bizzare as the other posts but it's the strangest orgasim i've seen. This isn't even close if were to start talking about strange people we've sleeped with.

Hzhahahahaha, that's fuckin great

Kaos · 07-23-2003, 09:32 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by djmorton
I'd love to see the thread of 'strange people we've slept with". I guess I'm not lucky enough to have any bizarro stories.

I bet 99% of those stories start with, "Well, I had been drinking alot..."

Spinach_Indeed · 07-23-2003, 11:17 AM

Quote:

The Drew Carey Show
Kate: What's your kinkiest Sexual Experience?
Drew: Well... once, When I was in College, I was riding the bus home, and I fell asleep...
Kate: Yea?!
Drew: And when I woke up, some wierd guy was touching me.

I don't know why I posted that. It's not really funny.

The "Blues is Better than Sex" story was hilarous

ktyers · 07-23-2003, 01:42 PM

Not very interesting, but i gotta kick out of it.

My family and I were on vacation and my girlfriend was with us. My parents had gone to the pool and her and I were left to our own devices in the hotel room. So I started going down on her, and she in normal fashion was getting kinda loud, and soon enough I brought her to a rather loud climax and she kinda stumbled to the bathroom, I decided to get a drink during this time. It was a two room suite and I went into the living room area to find my dad sitting there, he looks at me and says "Good Man".

It was sorta surreal, and I found it fun.

pixelbend · 07-23-2003, 01:52 PM

a fisting seminar?

maybe I need to get out more.

Zipperhead · 07-23-2003, 05:54 PM

I had known this girl for quite a few years and eventually we hooked up.

Now, she had this hideous bedspread and matching curtains in her apartment's bedroom and everytime I had come to visit I had been buggin her about it. She said that her Mom bought it for her and Mom would be offended if she changed it.

So one afternoon, I got her bent over the end of the bed and we're doin' it like on the discovery channel. I'm not sure why, but I was in kind of a goofy mood and when it came time to finish up, I pulled out and blasted the curtains. Then I grabbed them and wiped off my dick. Once she realized what I had done, she rolled over on the bed and almost died laughing while I stood there with this retarded grin on my face.

Chicks dig a sense of humor.

The next day she went and bought a different bedspread/curtains.

The end.

DrJekyll · 07-23-2003, 07:53 PM

Ya know, this whole thread smacks of lowbrow.com. =)

Zipperhead · 07-23-2003, 08:22 PM

Dude that is a total "zombie mask"!! Good job!

ronan · 07-23-2003, 08:49 PM

LOL, funny stuff... GOOD MAN!...

oh and very ummm.... effective... zipperhead.

Halx · 07-23-2003, 09:00 PM

speaking of lowbrow.. I added mine to that site.. heh

09-26-2003, 03:01 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by tisonlyi
Or, most bizarre reaction you've made yourself.

For me?

Well... After a night on the tiles with a horny friend who was desperately looking for someone, ANYONE, to take home with him and break a very lengthy dry run, we eventually stumbled upon a lady who was more than willing to be his victim, err, I mean, partner for the evening.

One snag.

She had a buddy, and wasn't going to leave her on her own.

With absolute self sacrifice and dedication to the cause I threw myself, without fear or 2nd thought, onto this blond haired/green eyed/athletically breasted bombshell of a grenade.

It's a tough job, but someone has to be wonderful.

OK, long story short, we gots to talking a lot, drank some and decided to engage in a little of the activity that our friends had disappeared to enjoy a couple of hours previously.

All went well, I mean I was a little perturbed by her extensive Leonard Cohen collection (SERIAL KILLER, SERIAL KILLER), but we fooled around and teased each other at the edge for a very lengthy time before, eventually, I pushed her over the edge.

She threw me off her, rolled over to the other side of her king size bed, curled up into a ball and whimpered:

"You've got no right, you've got no right"

her whole body was shaking as she was doing this...

(SERIAL KILLER, SERIAL KILLER)

I panicked. Honestly. I thought I'd really hurt her, done some thing wrong, anything.

From the words she was saying, I was starting to fear some sort of prosecution come the morning... But no...

After about 30 seconds of this curled up, rocking, shaking and whimpering behaviour she suddenly throws herself up to her full height the attacks me. Pinning my shoulders down and plunging herself onto my cock to grind out another orgasm in quick time, at which time she rolled right off the bed, curled up and hid her head under the bed. whimpering the same phrase as before.

(SERIAL KILLER, SERIAL KILLER)

Well, this went on for hours, we did everything, everywhere, with every one of her orgasms being accompanied by one of these bizarre episodes, towards the end she was even crying, and I eventually left her apartment at about 10am in the morning, with her wondering why i didn't want to stay and sleep the day through with her?

(VISIONS OF KNIVES IN THE CHEST)

I wonder.

Hmm...

that could quite possibly be the best story i ever heard!

arcane · 09-27-2003, 02:10 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by motdakasha
Weirdest thing I've seen: a ("plump") woman who volunteered to be the "demonstration" in a seminar on vaginal fisting.

seminar on vaginal fisting?

where do those take place and when is the next one, cos i wanna go

nextlevel1 · 09-27-2003, 02:44 AM

Thats pretty bizarre! When my wife cums she starts shaking & quivering & her body starts to tighten and spasm! WOO HOO!

rmarshall · 09-27-2003, 05:38 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by QuasiMojo
Ok...
I was seeing a woman who was massage therapist and therefor
was very in tune with her muscles. all of them.
When I would feast upon her pussy she would raise her head up and look at me with this...look. her face would get all twisted up in some kind of contorted mask of what appeared to be pain! Her mouth would get all snarled and would make these gutteral sounds. She would EXHALE all of her breath for extended periods
and begin (I really believe this!!!!)breathing through her pussy.
I say this because her cunt(sorry for the word)would issue these
long,sustained releases of air. Yes, the ubiquitous Pussy farts.
I usually find this bodily exhalation cute and rather endearing but
Holy hell...this sounded like her pussy was moistly snoring and it would GO ON AND ON.
so the combination of this and her twisted face(I would keep asking if she was all right) makes these occurances the strangest orgasms I've ever had the honor of bestowing upon someone.

This underlines the fact that pussy farts are the pussy's ability to change shape and volume. A muscular woman that exercises that can give great pleasure to a penis, which can take the sqeezing. But will likely break bones of fingers or hands. Be careful out there!

This reminds me of that James Bond film where the evil woman can kill by sqeezing lovers with her legs. What was that called?

Redlemon · 09-27-2003, 09:19 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by rmarshall
This reminds me of that James Bond film where the evil woman can kill by sqeezing lovers with her legs. What was that called?

Goldeneye.

Mine, again, is pretty tame. In college, dating a girl for a year. She was sitting in my lap in my room, and I fingered her to an orgasm, and she passed out hard on the orgasm. Completely limp for about 10 seconds, which was the longest 10 seconds of my life (oh god, is she dead? how do I explain this one?) up to that point.

When she came to, however, she was very grateful

.

oberon · 09-27-2003, 09:37 AM

Hahaha, all these are fucking great stories!

motdakasha · 09-27-2003, 10:05 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by arcane
seminar on vaginal fisting?

where do those take place and when is the next one, cos i wanna go

I heard about it from a guy involved in the BDSM community here. I don't actually know the best place to find out about these kinds of things (otherwise I would've gone to more), but I'd check with sex, toys, and/or BDSM clubs. If they don't have a bulletin board of events, they could probably tell you where to go to find out.
For instance, the store Good Vibrations often have their own classes and such: http://www.goodvibes.com/cgi-bin/sgd...nal/index.html

Hard8s · 09-27-2003, 10:23 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by JStrider
... she went flying off backwards off the bed onto the floor and said something along the lines of "did you just pee in my mouth!!!!"... apparently she wasnt expecting it to squirt out.... it was pretty funny....

Dude that made me laugh so frickin' hard!!!

little limey · 09-27-2003, 06:45 PM

I cry after orgasms a lot. Sometimes not even after an orgasm, just after some intense sex. I think it's because I'm so exausted. Also my stomach muscles are the ones that tighten the most and that just leads to weeping. Strange huh? Poor Spinach_Indeed always thinks something's wrong.

Damn, I wish I could have a sponaneous orgasm like that girl did at the concert. And passing out after one seems so cool. I wonder if that is a one time thing or not.

darkallaround · 09-27-2003, 10:38 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by pixelbend
a fisting seminar?

maybe I need to get out more.

you and me both...geez

and i'll go ahead and give props to the entire thread...i laughed ALOT

Redlemon · 09-28-2003, 08:23 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by little limey
I cry after orgasms a lot. Sometimes not even after an orgasm, just after some intense sex.
{snip}
And passing out after one seems so cool. I wonder if that is a one time thing or not.

Well, my wife occasionally does the orgasm cry thing as well, which was very weird the first time, but now I consider it a form of applause. So, since you are lined up on that, you have a chance at the passing out. She only did that once, however.

eple · 09-29-2003, 03:00 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by motdakasha
Weirdest thing I've seen: a ("plump") woman who volunteered to be the "demonstration" in a seminar on vaginal fisting. Initially she had problems getting turned on and relaxed what with the audience and everything. So one of the two lecturers (who are married and both Sexologists) starts talking dirty in her ear, while the other one inserts her fist. When she pulled her fist out, you could see a huge puddle of ejaculate being released.

Certainly not as weird as tisonlyi's experience, but I think the environment and the act is what makes mine feel weird.

Oh, a seminar on vaginal fisting, that's where you saw it you say? a seminar on vaginal fisting. One of those seminars people make when they want to educate people on vaginal fisting. Of course, just a god-old seminar on VAGINA FISTING.

A SEMINAR ON VAGINAL FISTING WHAT THE

B21 · 09-29-2003, 05:40 PM

The most bizarre orgasm i've ever seen was 1 week ago when i was goin down on my gf and after about 10min or so i tried to think of somethin to make her cum faster so i could go to go sleep(i was tired). I couldn't think of anything right away but then i got an idea. So i reached over and gribed my coke and got an ice cube out of it and put it against my girls lowers lips. As soon as i did that i thought theres was a fuckin horse in the room cause of all the nosies she was making and on top of that she kicked me in my head. At 1st i thought i had fucked up and hurt her then she curled up and started to take deep breaths, i was so scared i thought i had seriously hurt her. Then i just kept on asking her if she was ok then she said " HOW THE HELL DID U DO THAT" i was glad she wasnt hurt but i didnt tell her how i did it though.

sailor · 09-29-2003, 06:52 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by B21
she kicked my in my head

That is seriously one of the funniest things ive heard in a while... Cant say Ive ever been kicked in the head while going down on someone...

B21 · 09-29-2003, 07:43 PM

Im sure it was by accident. OH and sry for that typo....

Dano069 · 09-30-2003, 09:43 AM

I used to be able to make my wife (then girlfriend) pass out from oral sex. She'd be out for 10 seconds or so. I've been trying my damnedest lately, but, have been unable to get her to pass out. She's also a face contorter and leg lock champ. God, I love THAT woman!

analog · 10-01-2003, 09:52 PM

holy shit. this is the funniest thread i think i've ever read.

my two cents...

when i was with my ex, i would go down on her. as it is, she moves around a lot from it, but when she gets ready to orgasm, her legs clamp tight as all fuckin hell on my head, and then she starts bucking in the air, sending my head and half my body flailing all over the place as she tosses me around. i almost got thrown off the bed one time, and i'm sure it's almost caused neck injury several times. The squeeze it so hard, i couldn't remove my head if i wanted to.

Dano069 · 10-02-2003, 08:37 AM

Analog, you might want to invest in one of those neck brace devices the NASCAR guys use. Sounds dangerous, but it must be one hell of a ride!

madsenj37 · 10-03-2003, 12:37 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by pixelbend
a fisting seminar?

maybe I need to get out more.

Word.

Quote:

Originally posted by dtheriault
i was with this girl and she was giving me head. for some strange reason it was taking a while and i decided to tell a joke. just as i told the punch line i came.

she laughed with her mouth closed around me and my sperm flew out of her nose.

when she stopped trying to blow her nose we laughed for days.

You have got to be the first successful angry dragon story Ive ever heard.

Litespeed · 10-09-2003, 10:57 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by ktyers
Not very interesting, but i gotta kick out of it.

My family and I were on vacation and my girlfriend was with us. My parents had gone to the pool and her and I were left to our own devices in the hotel room. So I started going down on her, and she in normal fashion was getting kinda loud, and soon enough I brought her to a rather loud climax and she kinda stumbled to the bathroom, I decided to get a drink during this time. It was a two room suite and I went into the living room area to find my dad sitting there, he looks at me and says "Good Man".

It was sorta surreal, and I found it fun.

That is awesome. It's great when you can see this unexpected side of your parents!!! Obscure bonding moment or something.

harx3 · 10-10-2003, 02:00 AM

weird man!!

MadProphet · 10-10-2003, 04:59 AM

Not sure if this is bizzare or just kind of funny. My girlfriend in high school was kind of a fuck machine. It didn't matter where we were if she was horny, we had sex. That lead to a lot of almost getting caught. Another factor in our spontanious sex was the fact that her bedroom had no door and only half a wall. When you came upstairs it just kind of opened to her room. We were smart enough to not get naked and we had pretty much mastered the fully clothed fuck (she owned a LOT of loose fitting shorts). One day she was on top of me and right on the verge of orgasm when her moms head appeared over the little half wall and goes "what are you doing?". My girlfriend then tries to explain why she's straddling me, why both of us are sweating and why her entire body is shaking.

hossified · 10-10-2003, 12:35 PM

i had an ex who whenever she got close to /or orgasmed.....her legs would go numb for about 20 minutes!!!.....there were times in the shower.....well she would just fall on to the ground....and wouldn't be able to walk without being helped!!!! Kinda freaked me out at first....but it's a good way to tell if she was faking or not!

WarWagon · 10-10-2003, 04:13 PM

MadProphet: LOL!!! That's one explanation I'd like to hear! Worst that happened to me was my girlfriend pushed me into her closet when her mom came home.

Kakos · 10-10-2003, 06:39 PM

This IS one of the coolest and funniest threads I have read on the forum so far.

macmanmike6100 · 10-10-2003, 08:28 PM

weird man

07-22-2003, 11:33 PM	#44 (permalink)
djmorton Upright	I'd love to see the thread of 'strange people we've slept with". I guess I'm not lucky enough to have any bizarro stories. __________________ I gave you life, it's up to you to live it.

07-23-2003, 01:52 PM	#49 (permalink)
pixelbend Too hot in the hot tub!	a fisting seminar? maybe I need to get out more. __________________ But I don't want ANY Spam!

07-23-2003, 08:49 PM	#53 (permalink)
ronan Crazy Location: Australia	LOL, funny stuff... GOOD MAN!... oh and very ummm.... effective... zipperhead. __________________ i am enlightened

07-23-2003, 09:00 PM	#54 (permalink)
Halx Please touch this. Owner/Admin Location: Manhattan	speaking of lowbrow.. I added mine to that site.. heh __________________ You have found this post informative. -The Administrator [Don't Feed The Animals]

09-27-2003, 02:44 AM	#57 (permalink)
nextlevel1 Upright Location: louisiana	Thats pretty bizarre! When my wife cums she starts shaking & quivering & her body starts to tighten and spasm! WOO HOO! __________________ "To be old & wise, you must first be young & stupid."

07-22-2003, 04:05 PM	#42 (permalink)
judd dredd Upright	Pretty tame in comparison to some of the stories, but here's mine: My second wife would squirt (female ejaculate) whenever I went down on her, it is by far the coolest experience I have ever had. Unfortunately I have never met a woman since her that has been able to orgasm like she did

07-23-2003, 01:42 PM	#48 (permalink)
ktyers Upright	Not very interesting, but i gotta kick out of it. My family and I were on vacation and my girlfriend was with us. My parents had gone to the pool and her and I were left to our own devices in the hotel room. So I started going down on her, and she in normal fashion was getting kinda loud, and soon enough I brought her to a rather loud climax and she kinda stumbled to the bathroom, I decided to get a drink during this time. It was a two room suite and I went into the living room area to find my dad sitting there, he looks at me and says "Good Man". It was sorta surreal, and I found it fun.

07-23-2003, 05:54 PM	#50 (permalink)
Zipperhead Upright Location: Calgary, Canada	I had known this girl for quite a few years and eventually we hooked up. Now, she had this hideous bedspread and matching curtains in her apartment's bedroom and everytime I had come to visit I had been buggin her about it. She said that her Mom bought it for her and Mom would be offended if she changed it. So one afternoon, I got her bent over the end of the bed and we're doin' it like on the discovery channel. I'm not sure why, but I was in kind of a goofy mood and when it came time to finish up, I pulled out and blasted the curtains. Then I grabbed them and wiped off my dick. Once she realized what I had done, she rolled over on the bed and almost died laughing while I stood there with this retarded grin on my face. Chicks dig a sense of humor. The next day she went and bought a different bedspread/curtains. The end.

07-23-2003, 07:53 PM	#51 (permalink)
DrJekyll Crazy Location: Nowhere	Ya know, this whole thread smacks of lowbrow.com. =)

07-23-2003, 08:22 PM	#52 (permalink)
Zipperhead Upright Location: Calgary, Canada	Dude that is a total "zombie mask"!! Good job!

09-27-2003, 09:37 AM	#60 (permalink)
oberon Quadrature Amplitude Modulator Location: Denver	Hahaha, all these are fucking great stories! __________________ "There are finer fish in the sea than have ever been caught." -- Irish proverb

09-27-2003, 06:45 PM	#63 (permalink)
little limey Psycho Location: Room Nineteen	I cry after orgasms a lot. Sometimes not even after an orgasm, just after some intense sex. I think it's because I'm so exausted. Also my stomach muscles are the ones that tighten the most and that just leads to weeping. Strange huh? Poor Spinach_Indeed always thinks something's wrong. Damn, I wish I could have a sponaneous orgasm like that girl did at the concert. And passing out after one seems so cool. I wonder if that is a one time thing or not.

09-29-2003, 05:40 PM	#67 (permalink)
B21 Loser Location: Earth	The most bizarre orgasm i've ever seen was 1 week ago when i was goin down on my gf and after about 10min or so i tried to think of somethin to make her cum faster so i could go to go sleep(i was tired). I couldn't think of anything right away but then i got an idea. So i reached over and gribed my coke and got an ice cube out of it and put it against my girls lowers lips. As soon as i did that i thought theres was a fuckin horse in the room cause of all the nosies she was making and on top of that she kicked me in my head. At 1st i thought i had fucked up and hurt her then she curled up and started to take deep breaths, i was so scared i thought i had seriously hurt her. Then i just kept on asking her if she was ok then she said " HOW THE HELL DID U DO THAT" i was glad she wasnt hurt but i didnt tell her how i did it though. Last edited by B21; 09-29-2003 at 07:42 PM..

09-29-2003, 07:43 PM	#69 (permalink)
B21 Loser Location: Earth	Im sure it was by accident. OH and sry for that typo....

09-30-2003, 09:43 AM	#70 (permalink)
Dano069 is Nucking Futs! Location: On the edge of sanity	I used to be able to make my wife (then girlfriend) pass out from oral sex. She'd be out for 10 seconds or so. I've been trying my damnedest lately, but, have been unable to get her to pass out. She's also a face contorter and leg lock champ. God, I love THAT woman! __________________ I may look attentive, but I'm taking peeks down your blouse faster than the human eye can follow.

10-01-2003, 09:52 PM	#71 (permalink)
analog Banned	holy shit. this is the funniest thread i think i've ever read. my two cents... when i was with my ex, i would go down on her. as it is, she moves around a lot from it, but when she gets ready to orgasm, her legs clamp tight as all fuckin hell on my head, and then she starts bucking in the air, sending my head and half my body flailing all over the place as she tosses me around. i almost got thrown off the bed one time, and i'm sure it's almost caused neck injury several times. The squeeze it so hard, i couldn't remove my head if i wanted to.

10-02-2003, 08:37 AM	#72 (permalink)
Dano069 is Nucking Futs! Location: On the edge of sanity	Analog, you might want to invest in one of those neck brace devices the NASCAR guys use. Sounds dangerous, but it must be one hell of a ride! __________________ I may look attentive, but I'm taking peeks down your blouse faster than the human eye can follow.

10-10-2003, 02:00 AM	#75 (permalink)
harx3 Upright	weird man!!

10-10-2003, 04:59 AM	#76 (permalink)
MadProphet Upright	Not sure if this is bizzare or just kind of funny. My girlfriend in high school was kind of a fuck machine. It didn't matter where we were if she was horny, we had sex. That lead to a lot of almost getting caught. Another factor in our spontanious sex was the fact that her bedroom had no door and only half a wall. When you came upstairs it just kind of opened to her room. We were smart enough to not get naked and we had pretty much mastered the fully clothed fuck (she owned a LOT of loose fitting shorts). One day she was on top of me and right on the verge of orgasm when her moms head appeared over the little half wall and goes "what are you doing?". My girlfriend then tries to explain why she's straddling me, why both of us are sweating and why her entire body is shaking.

10-10-2003, 12:35 PM	#77 (permalink)
hossified face f$cker Location: canada	i had an ex who whenever she got close to /or orgasmed.....her legs would go numb for about 20 minutes!!!.....there were times in the shower.....well she would just fall on to the ground....and wouldn't be able to walk without being helped!!!! Kinda freaked me out at first....but it's a good way to tell if she was faking or not!

10-10-2003, 04:13 PM	#78 (permalink)
WarWagon Loser	MadProphet: LOL!!! That's one explanation I'd like to hear! Worst that happened to me was my girlfriend pushed me into her closet when her mom came home.

10-10-2003, 06:39 PM	#79 (permalink)
Kakos Upright Location: New Brunswick, Canada	This IS one of the coolest and funniest threads I have read on the forum so far. __________________ There are 3 types of people in this world... those who can count and those who can't. KAKOS

10-10-2003, 08:28 PM	#80 (permalink)
macmanmike6100 High Honorary Junkie Location: Tri-state.	weird man