citadel

I'm a guy and I'd like to know for future reference...

Ladies, what are some of the characteristics that have been the difference between you having an average or so-so sex partner and an amazing sex partner? Tips, pointers, thoughts, advice much appreciated.

MSD

Tradition holds that you answer your own question, even if you only say a bit.

What have you done that made you outstanding to your ladies?

Plan9

Wow, a question that you could basically pour Tilted Sexuality into without any spillover.

I'm not a girl but word on the street places respect and good communication skills high on the wish list and more important than having a purple-headed warrior the size of a baguette and abs like Christian Bale. If you're referring to physical acts like being able to tie their clit in a knot through awesome cunnilingus or how you don't try to shove your thumb in their ass on the second date... you'll have to be more specific. This question is so broad that makes the Grand Canyon look like the gap between Letterman's teeth.

Turns out the things that turn on women often turn on men... or humans in general. Being in tune to and providing for the specific desires of your partner is where you get the magic. Good lovers aren't just men or women, they're people that know how to please other people. It's more than just physical traits; plenty of "hot" people suck in bed.

...

RE: OP

Example: I had a partner that was very proper in public and expected to be treated as such. It was annoying at times. "You can't touch my tush outside the movie theater... people are watching." When we got home? Dirty girl deluxe. I had to get used to the on/off switch. So I catered to her bipolar sex drive. She was happy* with my efforts.

*As happy as a woman can be given her occupation, my occupation, and a combined sex drive that would make a porn star take a knee.

__________________
Whatever you can carry.

"You should not drink... and bake."

citadel

I'm a total virgin, so there's no way I could answer. I'm here to learn more than anything.

Plan9

Total virgin, huh? Have you tried online dating? Great place for virgins to start.

That or a truck stop.

__________________
Whatever you can carry.

"You should not drink... and bake."

Baraka_Guru

Question for the pilots: an amazing flier?

Pilots, what is the best way to fly planes? Cessna, 737, F-22, whatever...

Tips, pointers, thoughts, advice much appreciated.



Spoiler: Dude, they're women. There is no easy answer. At least planes come with manuals..... But at least you can muck around with women and not worry about crashing in a ball of flames into the Atlantic.... not literally, anyway....

__________________
Knowing that death is certain and that the time of death is uncertain, what's the most important thing?
—Bhikkhuni Pema Chödrön

Humankind cannot bear very much reality.
—From "Burnt Norton," Four Quartets (1936), T. S. Eliot

Plan9

Just because your last girlfriend was a creaky old C-130 doesn't mean you have to be bitter, Baraka.

...

That waitress at Happy's down on 3rd street? Whew... she was a total F-16.

__________________
Whatever you can carry.

"You should not drink... and bake."

Baraka_Guru

But ho-lee-sheeyat was that a spectacular crash!

__________________
Knowing that death is certain and that the time of death is uncertain, what's the most important thing?
—Bhikkhuni Pema Chödrön

Humankind cannot bear very much reality.
—From "Burnt Norton," Four Quartets (1936), T. S. Eliot

Plan9

Huh, and I thought you green-light-go'd it.

...

Outta the dozen or so I've been with, I'd say the best partners were the ones that were into breakfast blowjobs.

Seriously. Oral sex will compensate for a lack of education, goals, or the ability to go without crying for 72 hours.

__________________
Whatever you can carry.

"You should not drink... and bake."

Baraka_Guru

But the pilot analogy works. One should approach women and sexual relationships as a pilot does flying a plane.

More specifically, one should go all Chuck Yeager and treat it like a test flight. Take her out, lift her up, and really test her out and see how many Gs you can pull off of her. You won't know the limitations and how she likes to move unless you push the boundaries.

__________________
Knowing that death is certain and that the time of death is uncertain, what's the most important thing?
—Bhikkhuni Pema Chödrön

Humankind cannot bear very much reality.
—From "Burnt Norton," Four Quartets (1936), T. S. Eliot

Plan9

I like where this is going. You push it as hard as you can until she stalls, hit the flaps, and throw her into a cockpit-down-engine-up spiral until splashdown.

__________________
Whatever you can carry.

"You should not drink... and bake."

Baraka_Guru

Pretty much. But you have to bear in mind that over the long term you need to consider metal fatigue.

__________________
Knowing that death is certain and that the time of death is uncertain, what's the most important thing?
—Bhikkhuni Pema Chödrön

Humankind cannot bear very much reality.
—From "Burnt Norton," Four Quartets (1936), T. S. Eliot

Plan9

Yeah, sometimes ya gotta trade her in a younger model. Especially when she requires a communications overhaul. Nothing worse than going from two clicks of squelch to signal a low and sideways deep throat drop to coming up with a fuckin' op order for something as simple as opening the damn cargo ramp.

__________________
Whatever you can carry.

"You should not drink... and bake."

Daniel_

So it's all about climbing the zigurat and pushing the envelope?

As a general rule, I have always found that as a guy, if I do stuff to get me off I can end up getting off today.

If I do stuff to get her off, I end up getting off today, tomorrow and the day after.

Key advice: leave her wanting another go. That you tried to please her is usually more important than whether you managed THIS TIME. If you have the will but not the technique, you are a better investment for her than if you have the technique but not the will.

"Want to but can't" > "can but doesn't want to"

__________________

╔═════════════════════════════════════════╗
Overhead, the Albatross hangs motionless upon the air,
And deep beneath the rolling waves,
In labyrinths of Coral Caves,
The Echo of a distant time
Comes willowing across the sand;
And everthing is Green and Submarine
╚═════════════════════════════════════════╝

citadel

I'd like to know some of the characteristics that have been the difference between average and off the charts, if any.

Baraka_Guru

The difference is in whether you're a "reader" or not. Learn to read women in terms of what they say, their body language, their general vibe. Be aware. Don't get overwhelmed by your own senses and desire. In a way, it's like serving and being served rather than just looking out for yourself and what you want.

Oh, and learn how to make use of your tongue and at least a couple of fingers simultaneously (stimultaneously?). If you can make their legs shake, then you know you're doing it right.

__________________
Knowing that death is certain and that the time of death is uncertain, what's the most important thing?
—Bhikkhuni Pema Chödrön

Humankind cannot bear very much reality.
—From "Burnt Norton," Four Quartets (1936), T. S. Eliot

ICER

I took some advice from some articles I read in some fitness mags (Men's Health, Men's Fitness, and Men’s Journal) and they have made an amazing difference. My wife said I went from good to "OMG!!!"

And DR Oz has some good advice as well. Here are a few tips
1: Working out, Working up a good sweat at least 30 minutes 3 times a week will help you last longer in bed.
2: Take it slow; don't be in a rush because it takes women a little longer to bring to boil.
3: He there for her; learn how to please her in more then the traditional way

hope that helps

__________________
What's the difference between congress and a penitentiary?
One is filled with tax evaders, blackmailers and threats to society.
The other is for housing prisoners.
~~David Letterman

mixedmedia

Know 'the lay of the land.' Single most important thing for a lover...especially a beginner. If you're not sure where the clit is, ask for help. We'll be happy to assist you.

And enthusiasm is good, but early in a relationship it's important to keep your wits about you during sex - stay aware. This is largely how you learn what your partner likes and doesn't like. Very important.

An open mind is also very helpful.

__________________
Most people go through life dreading they'll have a traumatic experience. Freaks were born with their trauma. They've already passed their test in life. They're aristocrats. - Diane Arbus
PESSIMISM, n. A philosophy forced upon the convictions of the observer by the disheartening prevalence of the optimist with his scarecrow hope and his unsightly smile. - Ambrose Bierce

Plan9

I got a good joke about this the next time I sent you a PM or whatever. Hah.

__________________
Whatever you can carry.

"You should not drink... and bake."

LordEden

Yeah, you never know when her Husband is going to get home from work, half loaded from drinking warm beer out the back of his truck bed with a loaded shotgun in his gun rack. "What you dewin' with my woman!" is something you only want to hear once while only wearing your t-shirt.

*****

Please her, literally do everything you can to please her. You can get off in about 30 seconds, unless you are one of the truly lucky ones that get a girl that can get off as fast as a guy, she is going to take awhile to get off.

Sex is not about you and your 30 seconds to mars, it's about pleasing the girl that let you stick your dipstick in her [insert car part name that I don't feel like researching that could be used as a euphemism for a vajayjay].

__________________
Vice-President of the CinnamonGirl Fan Club - The Meat of the Zombiesquirrel and CinnamonGirl Sandwich

Martian

Stop-Look-Listen are the three words you need to know. Slow your pasty ass down and try to figure out what's getting her off. Watch how she reacts, listen to her breathing, etc. If you have to, ask her. 'Does that feel good? Do you like that?' you can turn it into a game.

Also? None of this matters. Turns out you can't learn to be a good lover by reading about it; it's a practical skill, and those (as the name implies) take practice.

Aside: Am I the only one who thinks it's odd that there's almost no female input here?

__________________
I wake up in the morning more tired than before I slept
I get through cryin' and I'm sadder than before I wept
I get through thinkin' now, and the thoughts have left my head
I get through speakin' and I can't remember, not a word that I said

- Ben Harper, Show Me A Little Shame

Plan9

No. They must have jobs that keep them off the NSFW 'net during the day.

...

And I wouldn't listen to Martian, Citadel. He's an ass-slapping womanizer.

__________________
Whatever you can carry.

"You should not drink... and bake."

LordEden

I wouldn't listen to any of us, we are all male-chauvinistic pigs on this board. I know I make my woman stand in the kitchen barefooted while she cooks me dinner.

__________________
Vice-President of the CinnamonGirl Fan Club - The Meat of the Zombiesquirrel and CinnamonGirl Sandwich

Plan9

...but bare-chested is the preferred state of undress for subservience. 'Specially if you like 'maters with yer 'taters.

__________________
Whatever you can carry.

"You should not drink... and bake."

Martian

I cannot deny that I'm a prodigious slapper of asses.

You're just bitter because I don't slap yours.

__________________
I wake up in the morning more tired than before I slept
I get through cryin' and I'm sadder than before I wept
I get through thinkin' now, and the thoughts have left my head
I get through speakin' and I can't remember, not a word that I said

- Ben Harper, Show Me A Little Shame

Plan9

Pfft. I've seen how you hook your middle finger upon contact.

I don't need my oil checked by a fedora-wearing Canadian.

*cues up Holy Diver as Martian's ass-slapping theme song*

__________________
Whatever you can carry.

"You should not drink... and bake."

snowy

Well, it's not precisely an easy question to answer at first blush. It certainly took me some time to consider. However, after reading through all the responses posted while I was off thinking about it, I have to say that you gents did a good job of covering the bases.

I cannot emphasize listening to your partner enough (this goes both ways, of course). Martian's Stop--Look--Listen thing is accurate and clever.

__________________
If I am not better, at least I am different. --Jean-Jacques Rousseau

Willravel

I love the little man at the top of the boat!

noodle

I've only had one.
But, I do consider him amazing.
Not at first, mind you.
It took getting to know each other, using what worked well once before, modifiying things another time, and really spending time exploring each others' body. The time aspect really matters. Taking it and giving it. I'm not the best for advice in this area, but since it was pointed out that there was minimal women's input, I thought I'd say a wee bit.

__________________

Daniel_

Can I just say, be careful how you follow the advice above. It got me into real trouble! I asked a policewoman, a nurse, and the grandmother who runs the office at my daughters school, and none of them were prepared to show me the location of their clit.

__________________

╔═════════════════════════════════════════╗
Overhead, the Albatross hangs motionless upon the air,
And deep beneath the rolling waves,
In labyrinths of Coral Caves,
The Echo of a distant time
Comes willowing across the sand;
And everthing is Green and Submarine
╚═════════════════════════════════════════╝

raging moderate

well, there you have it - you should have asked them one at a time

__________________

These are the good old days...



formerly Murp0434

MSD

Isn't it funny when people you haven't seen in years just reappear out of nowhere?
I can't emphasize enough what a bad idea it is to cook without a shirt and pants on. I have scars.

spindles

I would if I didn't think it'd scare the children

__________________
who hid my keyboard's PANIC button?

LordEden

If I'm in the kitchen, I'm not wearing a shirt. I cook all the time shirtless and have very few burns from that. Most of my burns are on my hands and from touching/bumping into hot oven walls.

I can fry bacon shirtless and not destroy my chest.

__________________
Vice-President of the CinnamonGirl Fan Club - The Meat of the Zombiesquirrel and CinnamonGirl Sandwich

Martian

We don't all have a coat of man-fur to protect us, though.

Stop-look-listen is only half joking. Seriously, that's pretty much all you need to do. If you're not in a rush to spew your love-goo and actually pay attention to what makes your lady-friend scream profanity, you'll go far as a lover.

Interestingly enough, this advice has a number of applications. Surviving an argument with said lady-friend, not looking like an idiot at work, crossing the street intact. The list goes on.

I challenge you to find three more practical words.

__________________
I wake up in the morning more tired than before I slept
I get through cryin' and I'm sadder than before I wept
I get through thinkin' now, and the thoughts have left my head
I get through speakin' and I can't remember, not a word that I said

- Ben Harper, Show Me A Little Shame

Plan9

"Task, conditions, standard."

... sorry.

__________________
Whatever you can carry.

"You should not drink... and bake."

lunxpress

Somebody who does not lose his charge after the unplug.