genuinegirly

We have had several threads discussing Birth Control in the LL, but I'm interested in seeing how this weighs out in the general TFP population.

The following questions are in place to stimulate discussion. For this reason, some questions are harsh and personally probing. Only answer the questions with which you are comfortable.

Why have you chosen your method(s) of birth control?
- Did expense weigh in on your decision?
- Does it work well with your lifestyle?
- Did a physician recommend this method?
- How long have you used this method?

Are you in a committed relationship?
- Would your birth control choice change if you moved your relationship to another level?
- Did you choose your birth control method based on your level of sexual activity?

Are you not in a committed relationship?
- Are you afraid to commit because of some fear of family or commitment?
- Do you feel it is best to confuse your life by bringing a child into a relationship that may not continue?

Are you using birth control for quality of life, health or financial reasons?
- Is your income so low you do not feel you could provide a child with a healthy quality of life?
- Are you opposed to the idea of feeding a family with food stamps, WICK, or other government programs?
- Would having a child interfere with your career or chosen lifestyle?
- Do you have mental or physical health issues that lead you to believe you would be an unfit parent?
- Are you (or your lover) on medications that require prescribed birth control?
- Would you pass along a known genetic disorder if you were to reproduce?

If you are beyond child-bearing years:
- What methods of birth control were available to you when you were 18-35?
- What is your opinion of current birth control methods?

Thank you for your thoughts!

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
My Response
Before marriage, we used condoms, spermicide and the rhythm method. I suppose it is an odd combination. We used condoms + spermicide during the few days each month when I was especially fertile, condoms the rest of the time. Why have you chosen your method(s) of birth control? Expense. We have (and had) poor health insurance that does not cover birth control.

Are you in a committed relationship?
Yes we are married. We changed birth control methods (some to essentially none) when we were married.

Our first two months of marriage we made no attempts at birth control. I did not become pregnant. I started charting so I can show my charts to a fertility specialist when we want to have children. Our current plan - if we do not have a child on our own in the next five years, we will see a specialist. We are financially able to support a child. We feel we can provide a loving environment. This said, we wouldn't mind completing a PHD (me) and MBA (him) before embarking on parenthood. With a potential worldwide depression on its way, we've become more interested in waiting. The past few months, our discussion has gone like this: "Well, it's the day. What do you think?" After some discussion we have chosen to either abstain or withdraw. If for whatever reason we become pregnant with this method, we agree that it will be ok.

In our wedding vows we committed to welcome any life. We would like to be parents.

__________________
"Sometimes I have to remember that things are brought to me for a reason, either for my own lessons or for the benefit of others." Cynthetiq

"violence is no more or less real than non-violence." roachboy

snowy

Why have you chosen your method(s) of birth control?

I am currently on the NuvaRing and we use condoms. Expense did not weigh in on the decision as I qualify for the Family Planning Project, which provides me with free birth control (including condoms) and free annual exams. It works well with my lifestyle as I have difficulty remembering to take a pill every day. I've been using it almost continuously for four years now--I took a break for a year to use the Pill as the county health department does not offer the NuvaRing. I have to go to Planned Parenthood to get it, which is 45 miles away.

Are you in a committed relationship?

Yes, and I don't see our condom use/BC use changing in the future, until we're good and ready to have kids. My hormonal BC may change, as I will switch back to a pill or switch to Depo if I can't make it to Planned Parenthood.

Are you using birth control for quality of life, health or financial reasons?

I am not ready, mentally or financially, to have a child. Period. I will not have a child until I am in that place. Therefore, I take birth control and we use condoms. Health also plays into it; I'm absolutely miserable if I'm not on some kind of hormonal birth control as I suffer from horrible, horrible menstrual cramps. They're painful to the point of being debilitating if I'm not on hormonal birth control. Even on hormonal BC, they're bad, but at least I know when they'll be happening and can plan accordingly. Plus, BC keeps my days of misery down to 1 from 3.

__________________
If I am not better, at least I am different. --Jean-Jacques Rousseau

lostgirl

I choose other because I use the non-hormonal copper IUD.



Q. Why have you chosen your method(s) of birth control?

A. It works without messing with my sex drive or any of the other side effects caused by hormonal birth control. It is pretty worry free.

- Did expense weigh in on your decision? - No
- Does it work well with your lifestyle? - Yes
- Did a physician recommend this method? - No, a friend who has one
- How long have you used this method? - 3 years

Q. Are you in a committed relationship?
A. Yes
- Would your birth control choice change if you moved your relationship to another level? - no
- Did you choose your birth control method based on your level of sexual activity? - No

Are you using birth control for quality of life, health or financial reasons? - No

telekinetic

I chose "physical alteration," not because I've been snipped yet, but because I will be when the wife and I are done having children. Before we were married, we used condoms. After, using nothing, it took us almost a year to conceive our first. Now, she breastfeeds our 3-month old daughter as her sole source nutrition, which has been shown, if done regularly, to have a contraceptive effect, but honestly, we're not counting on it...we actually want to have our 2nd (and final) ASAP to get the house out of diapers . Once we deliver our second, I'll get a vasectomy. There's no convincing reason I've heard of not to.

PonyPotato

Why have you chosen your method(s) of birth control?

I've been on the pill since I was 17, to regulate periods (I would go 2 weeks, a month, 3 months, etc. between periods) and mitigate severe cramping.

- Did expense weigh in on your decision? Not really.
- Does it work well with your lifestyle? Yes. I am good at taking pills at the same time every day.
- Did a physician recommend this method? Yes.
- How long have you used this method? Since I was 17.

- Did you choose your birth control method based on your level of sexual activity? No. When I was 17 and put on birth control, I was not in a sexual relationship. If I had not been on birth control by the time I was in a longer-term relationship, I would have sought it out.

Are you using birth control for quality of life, health or financial reasons?

All of the above!

- Is your income so low you do not feel you could provide a child with a healthy quality of life? Not really, but I would be unable to pursue further education, hobbies, and build a good amount of savings.
- Are you opposed to the idea of feeding a family with food stamps, WICK, or other government programs? Personally, yes.
- Would having a child interfere with your career or chosen lifestyle? At the moment, yes. I would not be able to have a child and continue both jobs I work, nor live in the place I work in exchange for.
- Do you have mental or physical health issues that lead you to believe you would be an unfit parent? Not really.
- Are you (or your lover) on medications that require prescribed birth control? No.
- Would you pass along a known genetic disorder if you were to reproduce? No.

__________________
"Without passion man is a mere latent force and possibility, like the flint which awaits the shock of the iron before it can give forth its spark."
— Henri-Frédéric Amiel

Jenna

It was hard for me to answer the poll, because my boyfriend and I switch back and forth between using the withdrawal method and a condom. But I said withdrawal because I think we've used that method more.

Why have you chosen your method(s) of birth control?
For him, there is a huge loss of sensitivity when using a condom. There was some issues with his self-esteem from an ex-girlfriend when we first got together and a condom just wasn't an option. So we started using the withdrawal method right away.

His self-esteem issues were gone within a few months, and we started using a condom.

The problem is that, it's a give and take thing. Either it feels GREAT when we're having sex and it doesn't feel so good when he finishes - with the withdrawal method. Or it doesn't feel so good during while we're having sex but the orgasm is amazing - with a condom. So we just tend to switch back and forth between them.

I tried using HBC but I completely lost my sex drive. Foreplay didn't help, porn didn't help, nothing worked. So after about 6 months I stopped using it.

Our methods work pretty well for our lifestyle. Although the withdrawal method isn't very secure and an unplanned pregnancy would be... well... awful. Thus far, it has worked. There has been many pregnancy scares as my cycle is constantly screwed up. I would love to be on the pill, that would be ideal. But until I can find one that doesn't lower my sex drive, our current methods will have to stay.

Are you in a committed relationship?
Yes, I am.

I don't think our methods would change if we got engaged or married. But, when we do get married and I want children, obviously things will change.

Are you using birth control for quality of life, health or financial reasons?
- Yes, my income is low enough that I could not provide a child with a healthy, stable life that it deserves.

- For myself, yes. For others that really need it? No.

- I would probably have to be a freelance graphic designer which would really be difficult starting out. So yes, it would.

- No.

- Nope.

- There is a large amount of women in my family with breast cancer. So possibly.

Giant Hamburger

Now that I am covered in children...

I firmly believe that it has rendered the world a far safer place.

StellaLuna

- Why have you chosen your method(s) of birth control?
I get very sick once or twice a year, and usually get a round of antibiotics once the ick hits my lungs. With the pill, my birth control would be rendered ineffective... and then again when I took the yeast infection meds to counteract the delightful side effect of the antibiotics. The coughing fits from the ick would also sometimes cause me to throw up my pills. After 2 solid months of ineffective birth control, I decided I wasn't doing that anymore. I like mah lovin'.
- Did expense weigh in on your decision?
Heck yeah! I'm using the Mirena IUD, which cost me $15 and last 5 years, as opposed to the $25 a month I was spending for the pill.
- Does it work well with your lifestyle?
Yes! I love it. The Mirena's going to stay put and not be zonked due to other meds!
- Did a physician recommend this method? Yes, my doctor loves them.
- How long have you used this method? Since March.

- Are you in a committed relationship? Yes indeedly-do.
- Would your birth control choice change if you moved your relationship to another level? Nope.
- Did you choose your birth control method based on your level of sexual activity? Yes! As stated above, I like mah lovin'.


Are you using birth control for quality of life, health or financial reasons?
- Is your income so low you do not feel you could provide a child with a healthy quality of life? Right now, I wouldn't want a child. Get a little more settled and then yes!
- Are you opposed to the idea of feeding a family with food stamps, WICK, or other government programs?
No... but I work there, see, and provide FS benefits for other families, and I know that I'm actually ineligible for EVERYTHING on my salary. So it's not even an issue, unless I decide to quit my job, which would just be fucked up if I have a financial concern!
- Would having a child interfere with your career or chosen lifestyle? Nah.
- Do you have mental or physical health issues that lead you to believe you would be an unfit parent? Nope.
- Are you (or your lover) on medications that require prescribed birth control? Nope!
- Would you pass along a known genetic disorder if you were to reproduce? Nope... unless you count "devasting cuteness" as a disorder.

__________________
Screw tradition!

mixedsubstance

Been on the Nuvaring for over 3 years now BUT I am getting the IUD in 2 weeks.

Why have you chosen your method(s) of birth control?
The Nuvaring has been a gem for the most part- only having to change it out once a month, it hardly ever slips out, and you can't feel it at all. I do, however, have discharge, occassional blood clots, weight gain (which is ok except it's all going to my belly), and sometimes a period, even though I switch it out right away without a break. It can be costly without insurance (about $70) but with insurance, it's around $25 for me. The IUD, however, lasts 5-7 years, still contains hormones (unless you choose the copper one which i won't), is cheaper in the long-run, and is usually almost fully covered with insurance. It's a one-time deal for years to come. It's especially great if you are in a committed, monogomous relationship, but neither of you want or can afford to get 'fixed'. Also, I got pregnant off of using a condom or the foam- so I will never again use either. I am allergic to the pill- I get an itchy rash- even with various different types. And it's a pain to remember to take everyday. I've also done the withdrawal method, which isn't bad, but I'd rather feel him inside of me, and I am sure visa versa, plus sometimes it's hard for the male to control and catch it in time.

Are you in a committed relationship?
Yes I am- and I think being on a birth control that works for you is most important- no matter what.

Are you using birth control for quality of life, health or financial reasons?
I already have a son from my marriage, and my boyfriend of over 3 years has 2 daughters of his own. Ideally, we wish to not have any more kids, though the whole fantasy of sharing that special bond with each other seems nice. But where we sit right now, it's not in the books for us. I just don't want either of us to take that option away by getting 'fixed' if our minds change- but at the same time- we don't want to be 60 when our kid is graduating HS. Financially, as well, it wouldn't be right.

__________________
Well, isn't that just kick-you-in-the-crotch, spit-on-your-neck fantastic?!?

*Without energy, there would be nothing.*

abaya

How do you know when you have blood clots? Discharge, I get... but that's been a problem for me since puberty. But I do worry about blood clots after being on the ring for 3+ years now (after the patch had me vomiting monthly, for my first year of BC).

Proper answer for this thread to come later, just a little too tipsy at the moment...

__________________
And think not you can direct the course of Love;
for Love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
--Khalil Gibran

Peaches

My fiance has a vasectomy. We both spent many years raising children and feel that we have moved beyond that stage in life. We do not have any children together and our plans for our relationship have never included any. I guess you could call this a life style choice. I like the worry free spontaneity it offers.

Since I am almost into the post childbearing years, I'll answer there as well. When I was young we had condoms, diaphragm, IUD, and the pill. The most recent innovation at that time was the spermicidal sponge (do they even make those anymore?). Over the years I tried all but the IUD which used to have a bad reputation for causing cramps, heavy periods, and peforating the uterus. I think women today have alot more options and control. The hormonal methods are not nearly as strong as they used to be, and consequently have fewer side effects.

Makedde

I have been on the pill since I was about 20. I am on it to regulate my periods. I have endometriosis, and the pill helps to regulate my periods.
I am not in a relationship - haven't found the right person - and being on the pill has improved my life enough so that I actually know when to expect my period.

__________________
Sun flames and moons glow, timeless the tides will flow, what will I face, what will be mine, fortune and fate the other side...

botabota

Other ... and i am explaining
We use both Hormonal method and barrier method ... WE want to be EXTRA safe .. so she's on ring, and im on condom
I advice her that she should be on somekind of hormonal birth control, before we start doing anything, we actually waited 5 months after we start dating before have sex, but in the end it was worthed. She doesnt have much of a side effect, except occasional light pain on her chest ...

curiousbear

I answered by travelling back in time 1.5 years. we no longer use birth control and are ok to have children. It is yet to happen thou.

I am against my wife taking internal hormone pills. So I did and will always use Condom alone as a contraceptive.

Why have you chosen your method(s) of birth control? ans: Condoms and only Condoms
- Did expense weigh in on your decision? ans: No
- Does it work well with your lifestyle? ans: Yes
- Did a physician recommend this method? ans: No
- How long have you used this method? ans: 3 years

Are you in a committed relationship? ans: Yes
- Would your birth control choice change if you moved your relationship to another level? ans: No
- Did you choose your birth control method based on your level of sexual activity? ans: No

Are you not in a committed relationship? ans: No (for a moment i thought this is a redundant question. then I realized and appreciate the genericness)
- Are you afraid to commit because of some fear of family or commitment?
- Do you feel it is best to confuse your life by bringing a child into a relationship that may not continue?

Are you using birth control for quality of life, health or financial reasons? ans: No
- Is your income so low you do not feel you could provide a child with a healthy quality of life? ans: No
- Are you opposed to the idea of feeding a family with food stamps, WICK, or other government programs? ans: No
- Would having a child interfere with your career or chosen lifestyle? ans: No
- Do you have mental or physical health issues that lead you to believe you would be an unfit parent? ans: Fucked up attitude and loss of hope is considered as Mental health problem???
- Are you (or your lover) on medications that require prescribed birth control? ans: No
- Would you pass along a known genetic disorder if you were to reproduce? ans: Nothing I know of

Caracala

Why have you chosen your method(s) of birth control? ans: Birth control pills and because it helped with more things than just my sexual activity
- Did expense weigh in on your decision? ans: No
- Does it work well with your lifestyle? ans: Yes
- Did a physician recommend this method? ans: No
- How long have you used this method? ans: almost 4 years

Are you in a committed relationship? ans: Yes
- Would your birth control choice change if you moved your relationship to another level? ans: No
- Did you choose your birth control method based on your level of sexual activity? ans: No

Are you not in a committed relationship? ans: No
- Are you afraid to commit because of some fear of family or commitment? N/A
- Do you feel it is best to confuse your life by bringing a child into a relationship that may not continue? N/A

Are you using birth control for quality of life, health or financial reasons? ans: No
- Is your income so low you do not feel you could provide a child with a healthy quality of life? ans: No
- Are you opposed to the idea of feeding a family with food stamps, WICK, or other government programs? ans: No
- Would having a child interfere with your career or chosen lifestyle? ans: Yes, but I would make it work if it happens before I'm ready.
- Do you have mental or physical health issues that lead you to believe you would be an unfit parent? ans: No
- Are you (or your lover) on medications that require prescribed birth control? ans: No
- Would you pass along a known genetic disorder if you were to reproduce? ans: Not that I know

curiousbear

You can wait five years for a child. But as a friend and due to some personal experience I strongly recommend you to check whether things are fine. It could be anything from physical examination of his scortum/testes to your HSG. Once verified that all is fine you can peacefully wait. Should I write in more detail?

Milnoc

I'm a guy, and my method of choice is a condom.

I may be an exception, but I HATE birth control methods that involve physical or chemical alterations of the human body. My last GF tried the pill for a while, but she later developed side-effects that got worse with time. She wanted to use the pill because she wanted to be in direct contact with me, and not be separated by a latex barrier. And while the experience was definitely pleasurable, the fact she was ingesting a chemical that altered her body chemistry did worry me a bit. The increasing side-effects are what forced us to try something different, namely diaphragm and spermicide. I could have easily gone back to condoms, but she still wanted that direct contact with me.

If the next girlfriend is still of child bearing years, I'm hoping her preference will be condoms. I find them to be amongst the safest and most effective forms of birth control available with or without a prescription.

Why have you chosen your method(s) of birth control?
- Did expense weigh in on your decision? No.
- Does it work well with your lifestyle? Yes. No acrobatics are required to use it properly.
- Did a physician recommend this method? No.
- How long have you used this method? Since I started having sex.

Are you not in a committed relationship?
- Are you afraid to commit because of some fear of family or commitment? Not really. I simply prefer to live a solitary life, which is why I haven't had too many girlfriends in my life.
- Do you feel it is best to confuse your life by bringing a child into a relationship that may not continue? I didn't understand the question.

Are you using birth control for quality of life, health or financial reasons?
- Is your income so low you do not feel you could provide a child with a healthy quality of life? Not at all. I can easily manage the expenses of a child.
- Are you opposed to the idea of feeding a family with food stamps, WICK, or other government programs? No. A healthy, well fed child is more likely to contribute to society later in life instead of becoming a burden to society.
- Would having a child interfere with your career or chosen lifestyle? No. I'd be more likely to bring the kid to work or on my travels!
- Do you have mental or physical health issues that lead you to believe you would be an unfit parent? I don't believe so.
- Are you (or your lover) on medications that require prescribed birth control? No.
- Would you pass along a known genetic disorder if you were to reproduce? Possibly, although it's not life threatening and almost never interferes with my daily life. Basically, I have no central vision in one of my eyes, forcing me to see life from one eye only. So no 3D movies for me. This affliction also limits my field of vision, which imposes load restrictions on the type of motor vehicles I can legally drive (2.5 tonnes instead of 5 tonnes).

genuinegirly

Thank you for the responses, everyone. We have some interesting trends here. Most people cite financial reasons for their decision to use birth control. No shock there with the state of the current economy, but it is nice to see that it really does make an impact on us.

Many of the women who are on hormone-based birth control mention improved quality of life due to diminished menstral pain. Seems the copper IUD is a winner for no decrease in sex drive. Thank you, Peaches, for your comments regarding birth control options of the (not-too-distant) past.

The men who have posted have shown they feel responsible for birth control and take an active role. It is refreshing to see so many men posting regarding their decision for alteration. Giant Hamburger's comment about being covered in children made me chuckle. Thanks, GH, we can always count on you to infuse humor in even the most dull topic discussions.

Thank you for the suggestion, Curiousbear. I appreciate the sentiment. It would be unfortunate to run into problems in 5 years that could be prevented by learning about them now. I will discuss this option with my husband.

__________________
"Sometimes I have to remember that things are brought to me for a reason, either for my own lessons or for the benefit of others." Cynthetiq

"violence is no more or less real than non-violence." roachboy

abaya

We now use only the NuvaRing for contraception. Up until a year ago, however (and what a great year it has been, since!!), we were using both the NuvaRing and condoms/withdrawal (we made the switch from "NuvaRing + condoms-only" to "NuvaRing + condoms-sometimes, withdrawal-others" after we got married, which was 2 years ago).

Why have you chosen your method(s) of birth control?We believe hormonal BC is the most effective choice right now (I don't want an IUD yet), my body can handle it (though I still get nauseous just about every month, on re-insertion day--but it's better than the vomiting I went through on the Patch, my first year on BC), and it doesn't require me to remember hardly anything, except for once a month to take it out/put it back in. As low-maintenance as it gets, other than an IUD or tubal ligation.
- Did expense weigh in on your decision? No.
- Does it work well with your lifestyle? Yes. No need to remember a pill every day, which is very important for me (have never been on the pill).
- Did a physician recommend this method? No.
- How long have you used this method? NuvaRing ONLY, for a year. NuvaRing + back-up, for about 3.5 years now.

Are you in a committed relationship?Yes.
- Would your birth control choice change if you moved your relationship to another level?Well, we're married. I suppose if we moved to the "ready for children" level, then yes, we'd have to give up BC.
- Did you choose your birth control method based on your level of sexual activity?No.

Are you using birth control for quality of life, health or financial reasons?Mostly quality of life. Our finances are fine, and my health does not depend on BC (though I switched to the ring, as I said above, because the patch was making me vomit too much).
- Is your income so low you do not feel you could provide a child with a healthy quality of life?No.
- Are you opposed to the idea of feeding a family with food stamps, WICK, or other government programs? No.
- Would having a child interfere with your career or chosen lifestyle? Yes, very much so. That is the central reason that we are not having kids yet. Too much traveling, being a couple, being selfish and lazy, still to accomplish... (And yes, we'll travel with the kid, etc... but our lazy days of being selfish will all be over once we have that first kid!)
- Do you have mental or physical health issues that lead you to believe you would be an unfit parent?Occasionally, I do worry about my bouts with anxiety and depression, as a mother. But I have been out of counseling for almost 2 years now, and as soon as we get back to the US, I am looking forward to getting back in and working some more on the things that haunt me.
- Are you (or your lover) on medications that require prescribed birth control? No.
- Would you pass along a known genetic disorder if you were to reproduce? No idea, though ktsp's family has a strong history of prostate cancer, so we're already fairly sure that he'll have to face that at some point (and so would any future sons).

__________________
And think not you can direct the course of Love;
for Love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
--Khalil Gibran

jewels

I used the Pill for many years. I switched to Depa Provera after my 15-year old was born since I was considered too high risk (age, smoker) for the Pill and doc would not prescribe it. I pretty much always had good health insurance that covered most of both costs.

Now I use nothing. Although in theory it's possible, it's not for me.

__________________
We are always more anxious to be distinguished for a talent which we do not possess, than to be praised for the fifteen which we do possess.
Mark Twain

levite

I use condoms.

I would vastly prefer that my g/f be on the Pill or Depo or Nuva or an IUD. But she dislikes, and somewhat distrusts IUDs, and I can't entirely blame her; and unfortunately, due to health issues, my honey can't tolerate concentrated doses of hormones. We had to use the Morning After Pill once (long story), and her bod was wonky for like a month after that....

I so wish there was a Pill for men. God, I would take that in a heartbeat!

__________________
Dull sublunary lovers love,
Whose soul is sense, cannot admit
Absence, because it doth remove
That thing which elemented it.

(From "A Valediction: Forbidding Mourning" by John Donne)

mixedsubstance

Well, I would get cramps worse than normal even though I wasn't actually getting a period- and I would (at least once a week) take the ring out while in the shower to clean and it would have what appeared to be a string of blood attached to it or when I go pee something similar would come out- not big, but noticable. It's not uncommon- it can be harmful if it's extreme. But the ring can tend to give you heavier periods anyways and so for me, maybe, in switching the ring out right away instead of giving a week for my period, it would confuse my body- I dunno. Hope that helps.

And, LEVITE- My question is Why does she trust condoms over IUD's? If she's never had kids, she would be fine with the non-hormonal copper IUD. I am getting it in a couple weeks (but my Dr. recommended the hormonal one as I have had a kid)- and it's actually more preventive and safer than a condom. Just a thought. It sounds as if it would be wise if you guys talked about other options and she speaks with her dr. about it.

__________________
Well, isn't that just kick-you-in-the-crotch, spit-on-your-neck fantastic?!?

*Without energy, there would be nothing.*

levite

It's only a little that she distrusts IUDs-- she's got a couple of friends who had to have their IUDs removed because of irritation of the uterine wall, but she knows that they are statistically very much in the minority.

It's more that she doesn't want to go through getting one put in/replaced, even though it's only once in three years. Several years ago, she survived a brain aneurysm, and spent a year and a half in and out of the hospital, recovering. I think she just feels like any doctor visit she can avoid, so much the better-- she's had enough for one lifetime.

It's actually not such a huge thing for me, that I would push her on the subject. I like sex without condoms better, but safe is safe, and sex with a condom is still damn fine. I feel like it behooves me better to let her be on this issue.

__________________
Dull sublunary lovers love,
Whose soul is sense, cannot admit
Absence, because it doth remove
That thing which elemented it.

(From "A Valediction: Forbidding Mourning" by John Donne)

jewels

I think this is what I remember hearing about a couple of years ago. It might be a few more years, though.

__________________
We are always more anxious to be distinguished for a talent which we do not possess, than to be praised for the fifteen which we do possess.
Mark Twain

mixedsubstance

Levite- I can understand where she is coming from. I am just concerned that she might have problems down the road and not take care of it because of the aneurysm (so sorry to hear that, btw)- but she did recover even though it took a while- thanks to Doctors' help. I'm sure something like that is not quick and easy to recover from and having minor uterine wall irritation is nothing compared to what she's experienced and it sounds like if her friends had that issue, the IUD was not inserted properly. BTW- It is 5-7 years with the hormonal and 10 years with the copper (Not 3 years). And the IUD is gaining huge popularity, along with the Nuvaring. I had the speech from my dr. (a naturopath) last week- that's why I know so much about it. Not trying to convince you- just giving you the facts. But I am just concerned that her fear from the bad experience in the past has or will keep her from caring for herself or not being open to other solutions.

__________________
Well, isn't that just kick-you-in-the-crotch, spit-on-your-neck fantastic?!?

*Without energy, there would be nothing.*

Acetylene

Why have you chosen your method(s) of birth control?
Lifestyle considerations were the most important factor in my choosing to use the Pill for the past several years: I was in monogamous relationship with a healthy partner, and wanted a method of birth control that didn't interrupt the sexual act.

However, I recently became concerned about the hormones in the Pill and some physical/mental health problems and the possible links between the two. But I still didn't want to have to put a raincoat on my man and the other barrier methods don't work as well (I DO NOT want a baby). So, I have been trying to get an IUD (the NON-hermonal kind, which isn't in the poll - it operates using copper, not hormones) and finally managed to get it put in this morning. Wish me luck!

Are you in a committed relationship?
Think I answered this one. Yes, I am, and that is what makes it possible to avoid using condoms, since we know we are not bringing any infections to each other.

Are you using birth control for quality of life, health or financial reasons?
I am not ready for a kid. I don't really like babies or very young children, and I don't like the idea of being pregnant (although nursing intrigues me). I am also not even close to ready for the level of committment involved: 18 YEARS of my primary focus going to raising a child would leave me without the opportunity to live my adult life focussed on my husband, dog, and personal maturation until it's way too late.

I'm in a transitional period regarding birth control. I had been using the Pill because it is convenient, doesn't interrupt sex, and is very effective. I am now using the IUD because it is convenient, doesn't interrupt sex, is very effective, AND it's non-hormonal.

Putting the IUD in was painful, and I'm still having cramps as my body tries to expel it. but it was only in passing and if the IUD works for me then it was totally worth it. I freaked when she was putting it in, but only because she tried to give me a local anesthetic and I have an irrational fear of novocaine needles (ONLY novocaine needles, other needles are fine, don't really know why). She agreed to let me do it without anasthetic, but I had already lost my "cool" and there was much fussing and tears.

Wish me luck! Many women have the copper IUD removed after a month or two because it worsens their period bleeding and cramping, but most are OK. Here's hoping

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There's no justice. There's just us.

levite

Thanks, mixedsubstance!

__________________
Dull sublunary lovers love,
Whose soul is sense, cannot admit
Absence, because it doth remove
That thing which elemented it.

(From "A Valediction: Forbidding Mourning" by John Donne)

Grasshopper Green

Why have you chosen your method(s) of birth control? I have an IUD. I love it.
- Did expense weigh in on your decision? No. My medical insurance wouldn't cover it (don't get me started on that), but over the 5 year period, it was still cheaper than the Pill.
- Does it work well with your lifestyle? Yes. I am more forgetful since I've had a child, and I don't have the physical problems I had with the pill.
- Did a physician recommend this method? No, but she was delighted when she found out I had one.
- How long have you used this method? About 4 years.

Are you in a committed relationship? Yes, I am married

Are you using birth control for quality of life, health or financial reasons?
- Is your income so low you do not feel you could provide a child with a healthy quality of life? We already have a child and are doing fine, but a second would strap us financially. We have no plans for more children, regardless of future income level.
- Are you opposed to the idea of feeding a family with food stamps, WICK, or other government programs? I am opposed to people having more children than they can financially handle and riding the government gravy train. I am not opposed to using government services for people down on their luck and trying to get back on their feet.
- Would having a child interfere with your career or chosen lifestyle? My child has helped define my current lifestyle
- Do you have mental or physical health issues that lead you to believe you would be an unfit parent? No
- Would you pass along a known genetic disorder if you were to reproduce? Schizophrenia seems to run in my family. I don't think research has definitively stated that it is passed through the genes, but I do think evidence points in that direction.

__________________
"They say that patriotism is the last refuge to which a scoundrel clings; steal a little and they throw you in jail, steal a lot and they make you king"

Formerly Medusa

nomcat

My SO is going to have an IUD fitted in a few days and by god I hope it works out! The pill (and she's tried many) doesn't agree with her... moody, sexually uninterested, and dryness were some of the symptoms. She's been off the pill for about 2 years(on it for 8 years before that) it's taken this long for her periods to become regular.

mixedsubstance

Wow- IUD'ers unite!

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Well, isn't that just kick-you-in-the-crotch, spit-on-your-neck fantastic?!?

*Without energy, there would be nothing.*

anti fishstick

This is fun.

Why have you chosen your method(s) of birth control? I take the pill and I chose it because it seemed the most straight forward out of all the other options.
- Did expense weigh in on your decision? I guess so in so far that I wanted it to be something I could afford, which it was.
- Does it work well with your lifestyle? Yes. I just use a sports watch and set an alarm on it so I remember to take it. It works pretty well.
- Did a physician recommend this method? No
- How long have you used this method? Dang, probably about 5 years now...

Are you in a committed relationship? Yes
- Would your birth control choice change if you moved your relationship to another level? Yes, if I was single I would probably get off of it. If we were married I would probably still remain using it, depending on the stage of our relationship (wanting a kid or not)
- Did you choose your birth control method based on your level of sexual activity? yes. I thought it would be a pretty easy way to have sex whenever I wanted without the hassle of a condom. Since sex was pretty frequent I thought the pill was worth it. Now, i'm not so sure, but remain taking it out of habit, regulating my periods that have always been irregular and "just in case".

Are you not in a committed relationship? I put that I was in a committed relationship. But it could also be interpreted that I am NOT in a committed relationship since we're not thinking about getting married and not sure that that would happen. I guess it depends on your definition of committed. We are in a long term monogamous relationship.
- Are you afraid to commit because of some fear of family or commitment? Well, I know I have anxieties about marriage based on what I saw with my parents. But that's another story....
- Do you feel it is best to confuse your life by bringing a child into a relationship that may not continue? Uh, no.. why would you think that?

Are you using birth control for quality of life, health or financial reasons? quality of life
- Is your income so low you do not feel you could provide a child with a healthy quality of life? no
- Are you opposed to the idea of feeding a family with food stamps, WICK, or other government programs? no
- Would having a child interfere with your career or chosen lifestyle? no
- Do you have mental or physical health issues that lead you to believe you would be an unfit parent? no
- Are you (or your lover) on medications that require prescribed birth control? no
- Would you pass along a known genetic disorder if you were to reproduce? no

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And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.
~Anais Nin

BlueEyes

I do both pills and condoms. Maybe its overkill, but I am not in the right place in my life to have a baby.

- Did expense weigh in on your decision?
Expense doesn't weight on my decision much, my birth control isn't that expensive....but regardless it would be less expensive than a baby.

- Does it work well with your lifestyle?
For the most part. The pill is never going to be easy to remember. I set my phone alarm so I remember to take it at the same time everyday.

- Did a physician recommend this method?
Yes

- How long have you used this method?
I was on the pill, then thought I'd try NuvaRing (bad idea)then went back to the pill. This has all been within the last two years.

Are you in a committed relationship? Yes

- Would your birth control choice change if you moved your relationship to another level?
I'd have to be married before I'd consider doing anything less.


-Are you using birth control for quality of life, health or financial reasons?
Al of the above. I don't graduate from college until May. I have a hard enough time paying my own bills and taking care of just me, let alone a baby.

- Is your income so low you do not feel you could provide a child with a healthy quality of life?
Yes.

- Are you opposed to the idea of feeding a family with food stamps, WICK, or other government programs?
That all depends on the situation, but I am not someone that deserves those programs.

- Would having a child interfere with your career or chosen lifestyle?
In the future it wouldn't, but right now yes. Again-graduating from college and trying to find a job in the next year would be hard with a baby around.

__________________
The world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think.
Horace Walpole

mixedsubstance

Ok, I spoke too soon when it came to the IUD. Went to get it done yesterday and it was really painful. I don't want to scare anyone, but what I went through was like having a steady contraction for at least 20 minutes (if you have never had a kid, I would not do the IUD) but I have had a kid and my dr. said I had a great 'form' for it and it should be easier than normal. Well, I won't go into details, but a certain area is apparently a little too curved. It took them 3 tries and they still couldn't get it in. So I said 'Forget it, take this stuff out now, I'm done.' And I went back to the Nuvaring. I just wasn't prepared for the contraction feeling- all they said is I would feel a cramping feeling. But it was very sharp. Just a warning. But not trying to scare people. Seriously talk about it and get info about it before getting it. I am not against it, but I would never want to feel like I am in labor if I am not in labor.

__________________
Well, isn't that just kick-you-in-the-crotch, spit-on-your-neck fantastic?!?

*Without energy, there would be nothing.*

nomcat

Hey mixedsubstance, I'm sorry to hear you had a bad experience.

My SO(26, no kids) had a IUD fitted last week, and she felt absolutely no discomfort except when the doc measured her. She said she didn't even feel the actual fitting, and has had no problems at all. Light spotting for the first day or 2, then nothing.

Hyacinthe

I didn't answer the poll because I use multiples of the above options. I'm on the pill and my SO always wears a condom.

Ok well as I said we use multiple methods of birth control. I have a hormonal condition which causes me to suffer from amenorrhea (the complete lack of a period), while that sounds great it is not exactly the healthiest thing in the world long term, the pill (combined with some other meds Itake) balances that out. My physician recommended this when my period stopped for 6 months when I was 16 - I've been on the pill ever since and never had any problems. Expense wasn't a huge issue, if it was a choice it might be but without taking the pill I run the risk of serious health complications so /shrug got to just accept the things you can't change.



Going to answer these two together:


My SO had his first daughter when he was 17 (found out about her less then a year ago - she's 12 and gorgeous, currently living in Finland) while he was an exchange student. He is terrified of having another child without knowing that he will be there for the child growing up, he doesn't want weekend visits or school holidays only and neither do I, we want to be there for the first words, the first steps, changing diapers, sleepless nights, the whole shebang. He missed all that once so until we KNOW that this relationship is going to last we're not willing to take the risk of missing any of that if the relationship doesn't work.

If we end up getting married, buying a house and being set up financially then we'd both like to have kids. We've talked about our future together, having kids how we'd raise them, what they might be like and thus far we're both quite fond of the idea. Until we have all that sorted neither of us think that it's right to bring a child into the relationship though.

We both do have a few medical conditions (mine which is helped by taking the pill) that may be passed on but nothing major enough to dissuade us from having a family, I think mainly it's lifestyle for us - we could not afford to raise a child in any decent enironment and until we can do so neither of us is willing to run the risk of me getting pregnant (though I know intellectually that we do everytime we have sex anyways).

__________________
"I want to be remembered as the girl who always smiles even when her heart is broken... and the one that could brighten up your day even if she couldnt brighten her own"

"Her emotions were clear waters. You could see the scarring and pockmarks at the bottom of the pool, but it was just a part of her landscape – the consequences of others’ actions in which she claimed no part."

highthief

Withdrawal method. It's served us well for 12 years - we conceived a child (deliberately) but other than that, I pull out. She can't stand the pill, and neither of us likes condoms, and this method has worked 100% for us.

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Si vis pacem parabellum.