mandy

ok, so, i have recently become very much interested in lesbian porn and i cant get it out of my head sometimes. so, i decided that i was going to tell healer that i was ready because we had talked about it but my urge was never so great as it is now.

I want to be fucked by a woman wearing a strap on! Is that weird? I want myself healer and this other chick (whomever she may be) to have a threesome. I am completely into healer, dont get me wrong and he satisfies me beyond my expectations but it's just recently that i've had these fantasies.

I was wondering if maybe some of you ladies shared my "urges"? and guys, what would you do if one day your fiance came up to you and told you she wanted to have a threesome with another woman?

Would you think she's nuts? I mean, after four years of hetrosexual, unbelievable, mind blowing sex, she tells you she wants another woman to lick her "lips"? What would you think?

I'm totally blown away by this sensation i get everytime i see two women going at it! does that make me lesbian? or bisexual? or is it just that i need to experience it for myself and make a decision from there?

i dont know...i need help, advice, anything that can aid me in making a decision like this. and healer knows exactly how i feel. i tell him everything. and i know he wants it to cos for a while he would alwasy mention it to me and i would alwasy pull my nose up and say something like..."i would never beable to share you with another woman".

but now, my feelings are completely changed on the whole idea.

what would you guys do if you were in my situation?

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The Imagination equips us to see a reality we have yet to create

abaya

It's not weird at all, at least not to me. That's one of my favorite fantasies, babe! Funny thing is, I only really fantasize about it when ktspktsp is going down on me, and I only really think about this one particular girl wearing a strap-on and using it on me (she is just a casual friend of mine from grad school, very religiously conservative, so it would never happen in reality). I don't know why, but it ALWAYS gets me very hot.

I also get very turned on by lesbian porn, though I am more into watching girls kissing and fondling each other (above the waist) than any action with the pussy. Weird, I know, but just the way my mind is. I decided that I am at least a little bi-curious, and given the chance and approval from ktspktsp in our relationship, would like to make out with a girl sometime. I don't know if I could handle an actual threesome, however... it would have to be a twosome with me and the girl, and a twosome with me and ktspktsp, but not the three of us actually touching (in other words, I don't want to see him interacting with another woman sexually). Now, if he wanted to interact with another man in a threesome, I wouldn't have any problem with that... strange, eh?

I think that's just the way sexuality is. Some things fly, some things don't, and it's just up to the people involved to determine exactly what is safe and not safe for their relationship. I say go ahead and experiment, but make sure you talk EVERYTHING over with healer beforehand, LONG before ever actually trying something, to figure out how it might affect you, what limits you'll each have, etc. And let us know how it goes!

__________________
And think not you can direct the course of Love;
for Love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
--Khalil Gibran

ShaniFaye

I used to be that way, until I actually did it. I was some what disappointed it didnt affect me the way I thought it would....the real thing was what I had built up in my mind.

Now...that was with my ex...with Dave I have been lucky enough that he's comfortable enough (and in my opinion) man enough to be more than willing to do MFM's with me....I REALLY enjoy those.

I'd like to think that a FFM would be what I had fantasized it would be, with him....but as I cant seem to find a female I want to do that with I dont know lol

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I want the diabetic plan that comes with rollover carbs. I dont like the unused one expiring at midnite!!

lurkette

Having been in your situation, I can tell you what I did do.

For about 14 years I just fantasized and did nothing else. It was a powerful fantasy, for both me and ratbastid. But eventually it moved from being a fantasy to being an ache for something missing.

I'd say if you have a good relationship and very good communication with healer, give it a go! You might develop a taste for it But both of you should be prepared for the fact that it might move from being a fantasy to being a distinct preference. For me, I couldn't live without it. I love my ratbastid and there's nothing wrong with our relationship that made me need another partner, aside from the fact that I felt unfulfilled without a female relationship as well. Acting on the fantasy might make it lose its power, and it just becomes a happy memory, a "remember when we did that?" to spice up your nights.

I think you'd be surprised how many women have those fantasies, and it doesn't necessarily mean anything at all about your sexual identity. But sometimes (like for me) it does.

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"If ten million people believe a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing."

- Anatole France

Racnad

I used to think that threesomes were something that only happened in porn, not to real people in real life (well, except for a MFM I did when I was 25).

A couple of years ago, my wife shocked me by telling me she had thought about inviting another woman to join us. I started reading about this on the internet and found that it is more common than I thought, although many people find the expereince does nto live up to the fantasy, and sometimes seriously damages the primary relationship.

The risk of it not being as good as the fantasy is one I'm willing to take, although I'd want to be very certain it wouldn;t damage the relationship. I'm also not as enthusasitc about doing a MFM with my wife, but I'd be willing to in exchange for a FMF. It's only fair that whatever I do with another woman she could do with another man.

DuneHunter

I think two women and a man are better situations. Not because the woman doesn't deserve the right to another man if the man has another woman. I'm not that selfish. But because it allows a three way pleasing. At least in a mainly straight orientation. Most men are not into other men unless it's outright homosexuality. But women can be very into men and still want to "play". Now that's not a 100% of course, but in the majority of cases it's true. In that situation each person has the chance to be pleased by both of the others. The man by the women, each woman by the man and the other woman. It tends to work out better it seems for everyone. As long as you talk deeply and openly about it with your partner and everyone is agreed.... go for it.

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When it comes to rut... there's nothing like a hot doe!

ratbastid

A word of warning: bargaining is not a good basis for having this sort of thing not damage the relationship. You should do things because you want to do them, not because it's "only fair". I guarantee you, that wouldn't work out well.

These things are frequently asymmetrical (a better word than "unfair"). Such cases are opportunities for everyone to grow up and accept their partners' boundaries.

healer

Thanks for all the advice so far folks.

I think we're both still getting used to the idea and wrapping our heads around it all. Like a lot of men, her pleasure brings me pleasure, so I want this to be the most awesome experience for her. Obviously we'll have to talk about boundaries and what we're both comfortable and uncomfortable with.

While I'm all for new experiences and the idea of doing something like this excites me to no end, there is always the fear that it will all go terribly wrong.

Finding someone who is as open and honest about their sexuality and willing to join mandy and I...that will be the greatest challenge.

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MrFriendly

Hmmmm,

This comment made me think quite a lot actually.

I'm into guys, in a purely sexual way. I wouldn't rule out being in a relationship with one, but for the most part my interest in other guys is just sexual. I love boobs and women too much to want to be gay.... That and gay culture rubs me up the wrong way a bit. So I'm the kind of guy that's bang up for a MMF threesome provide the other guy is like minded.

But I'm not entirely sure I agree with your comment. Well, a certain aspect of it.

I went to an all boys school, so a lot of my rather close friends are all guys. The thing I have observed over my little life is that a lot more guys are curious to try things with other guys than you might think. But, many young men are simply too afraid to ever try or admit it because of macho culture (well, this is from what I've observed in Aus). And this was especially true at the school I went to because everyone was so damn homophobic.

Attitudes in the city I live in seem to be much more liberal about this kind of thing, and I think attitudes in guys towards this issue are slowly starting to change.

But, unfortunately, the media is still doing it's best to enforce the idea of how men should behave and act. Just in the same way they keep forcing the idea of how women should look. There is an alarming statistic in Australia at the moment, the group with the highest rate of suicide are young men who are entering a trade. The key reason for this is a lot of these young men simply can't handle the overt macho and homophobic culture that is so rampant in a lot of trades.

I think it's a great shame that a lot of men are so unwilling to fully explore their sexuality with other guys because of what society has dictated. And it's literally killing our kids who feel so alienated.

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You are not a slave

Racnad

First of all, some men get very turned on watching thoer woman have sex with another man, so the MFM threesome is great for them. You can also have two men pleasing the woman at the same time. If not, one guy can take a break while the other guy does the women, and by the time he's done, the other guy is ready for another round.

ubertuber

Great post, MrFriendly. Really - thanks for taking the time to write that out.

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Cogito ergo spud -- I think, therefore I yam

mandy

Hey guys

Thanks for all the advice and comment and stuff. I know that it's what i want too, if only to just experiment. And both healer and i know that its something we have to talk about some more. This feeling just seems to get stronger and stronger though. I think i'm addicted ...hehehehehe

anyways, thanks again, you guys as always have helped me yet again. Hopefully we'll find the perfect partner for us that sounds really weird lol

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The Imagination equips us to see a reality we have yet to create

Eowyn_Vala

hmmm, Mandy I totally agree. Watching girl on girl turns me on a lot. I've been wanting to know what it would be like to have a girl go down on me and I've love to go down on one. My husand and I have talked about a threesome before since he knows I'm really interested. I just don't know anyone I'd be that comfortable with.

And I'd never given thought about a MFM threesome until reading this. Not sure why, I just hadn't. It turns me on. So I asked my hubby what he thought about it. I told him I was reading this thread and wondered how he felt about it. He's totally up for a threesome with another girl, but not so much with another guy.

Hmmmm, not the end of the world, at least I can hope to try with another girl soon. And yes there are times I really want just me and another girl without him around. Does that make me a lesbian?

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Cain: I know what you're doing. I've lead troops into battle before.
DG: And, how am I doing?
Cain: Well, there's less *hugging* when I do it

xxSquirtxx

I have had the pleasure of being with both sexes, but not at the same time.

Perhaps one day.

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.

World's King

What would I do if I was in your situation?


Take pictures.

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heavy is the head that wears the crown

analog

That fear will make you more careful, and give you more reason to remain open and communicative, which is extremely important. The fact that you're already planning on talking about boundaries, etc., is a big step in that direction. You guys will do fine, just keep the communication going.

Plan9

I wouldn't know because a threesome doesn't appeal much to me as a robot with a smooth spot, but:

I'm sure there is always that awkward initial moment... ya know... where you're all sitting there with your pants off... blinking at each other and thinking, "So, uh... who starts this silly three-ring flesh circus?"

That and the weird sensation of a hand touching you (1)... another hand touching you (2, normal)... and then the mild shock when a THIRD hand touches you.

Are there cuddling arrangements after threesomes or is it like a drive-through ATM?

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Whatever you can carry.

"You should not drink... and bake."

JustJess

The good ones have cuddle arrangements. I highly reccommend those.

Oh, and on topic... Mandy, nope, you're not crazy, yes, it's possible, and you are both approaching this right - figure out each other's boundaries FIRST. Be honest about how you feel on each point, and don't worry about inequities of action - i.e. if you're okay with women and he's not okay with men - this is the only case I can think of where double standards are acceptable as long as they're dealt with and known.

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My heart knows me better than I know myself, so I'm gonna let it do all the talkin'.

mandy

I think after we'll just lie there and comtemplate what we've just done and no, i dont think i would want healer cuddling with the other woman

i dunno...it all just seems so ...i dunno. whenever i think about it, all that comes to mind is me in the middle, healer behind me kissing my neck, stroking my back and caressing my ass and the other girl in front kissing my lips, her one hand fondeling my breasts and the other lightly teasing my clit, until she goes doen on me and starts sucking on it and licking between the folds holding them open with one of her hands...

GAAAASSSSSHHHHH!!!!!

as for the cuddling part...i think we'll cross that bridge when we get there, for now, i'm just looking to find the perfect woman for the both of us.

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The Imagination equips us to see a reality we have yet to create

abaya

It sounds like you don't really want healer interacting with the other woman (which is perfectly fine, as long as he is fine with it). I think it's really important to figure out exactly how you would feel about each other interacting/cuddling/anything with the other person. Would you be okay with him caressing her as well, or only touching you? Would you be okay with her giving him a blow job? etc. Try to examine as many situations as you can, and evaluate how you would feel about those... I think it's actually more important to figure that out *before* you come to that bridge, let alone cross it, because that's when it's usually too late.

__________________
And think not you can direct the course of Love;
for Love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
--Khalil Gibran

mandy

Well, what i meant was when that topic comes up...but for now i'm just looking to find the perfect lady for us.

But you bring up some awesome points abaya...

I'm sure I would be fine with her carressing him and vice versa, I mean, what fun would it be for him if there were that boundry? Then he might as well just be watching the two of us. I want him to be part of it and I want the girl to be part of it as well.

For the most part, I want this because healer was a virgin and I deflowered him, so he's never had or felt anyone else but me and I have and sometimes I feel quite guilty about that fact. So I want him to have the experience of someone else and me to have the experience of being with another woman...if that makes sense?

And him not interacting with her or her with him would just defeat the purpose of the whole thing.

I just dont want him to cuddle with her afterward... the cuddley wuddley part is just for me ...if that makes sense.

I also think that this is no time for jealousy...I mean, this is what I want and if I want to experience it to its full extent, I should be ready for what's to come...no pun intended

What I'm saying is, I should be able to take seeing him touch another woman in that way and vice versa and I should want her to give him a blowjob or maybe have the two of us give him one together and make the experience just as worthwhile for him as it will be for me...if it makes sense?

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The Imagination equips us to see a reality we have yet to create

ratbastid

You sound like you're in a pretty good spot re jealousy, but since you bring it up, here's Uncle ratbastid's Collected Wisdom on Jealousy:

Jealousy is like a broken refrigerator.

Let's say your fridge breaks down. There are several ways you could deal with it.

If you dealt with a broken fridge the same way most people deal with jealousy, you'd do one of two things. You'd either try to pretend the fridge isn't broken--you'd put things in it as if it was going to keep them cold, knowing perfectly well it won't, and then those things would spoil and start to stink. Or you'd decide you could just never have food in your house that needs refrigeration anymore, that the whole world of non-shelf-stable food is just something you can't have.

Kinda bizarre, right?

So deal with jealousy the same way you'd deal with a broken refrigerator. Acknowledge that your fridge is broken, figure out what's broken about it, and fix that thing. Did a belt break? Did it leak refrigerant? Is the compressor blown? Once you figure out what's at the source of the fridge not working, you can do the work needed to repair that part, and get things working again.

That's how to deal with jealousy powerfully.

Redlemon

You two might consider filling out the Sexual Interest Inventory PDF from the Sex is Fun podcast. There's a multiple-partner section in there which should cover all the possible bases.

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I can't read your signature. Sorry.

waltert

as a male,

if my girlfriend told me she wanted to do a mff with a girl, then I'd probably be okay as long as she knew a girl who was willing.

as for a mmf with "my" girl, I'd have to know and get along with the guy really well before it would be okay with me. a stranger, or someone who I dont like is a definite no-go. (just for reference, I have no interest in the guy sexually...i just dont want any ole dude ramming my girl)

ASU2003

That sounds hot!

Yes, as a guy, I would be ok letting my girl explore other girls. I don't really feel in competition with them. And it would be a great experience as long as she was honest about her feelings and still would like me equally.

I wouldn't need to have any contact with the other girl even, except for a four hand massage, which sounds fun to get and to give.

Sharon

The girl with a strap on and healer could DP you.

Jenna

Oh, you're not alone at all. A lot of women enjoy lesbian porn and are not actual lesbians or even bisexual.

I prefer lesbian porn over a lot of other porn. I really love the female body, and women are incredibly sensual. I like all lesbian porn - whether it be 2 girls have oral sex or an orgy of women using strap-ons.

I agree with Sharon that you could be double penetrated if you decided to act this out. That's one of my biggest fantasies!

However, I think you need to look into the emotional aspect of the threesome. Would your partner be able to be a part of it and touch the other woman? Do you think you could handle this type of thing?

Xazy

You have no video camera?

Ustwo

I've had a lot of threesomes and I can tell you the hardest part about FMF's.

Its not how you have sex, or feeling awkward after, or anything like that. Its finding the 3rd female who is SANE and just wants to have sex instead of moving in with you.

Those are quite rare, and they are jokingly referred to as unicorns.

Your best bet is for you to try to find this unicorn, it is easier for the women to invite another woman in, and take your time.

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Agents of the enemies who hold office in our own government, who attempt to eliminate our "freedoms" and our "right to know" are posting among us, I fear.....on this very forum. - host

Obama - Know a Man by the friends he keeps.

SecretMethod70

well, uh, if you're ever up near Chicago...


Anyway, on topic, communication is absolutely critical, among all parties. What's expected, what's allowed, what it means, etc. And, even then, plan on being surprised by your own reaction to things, and make sure that no one feels uncomfortable just stopping things right there in the middle of it if they decide it doesn't feel right.

At this point, though, just take your time finding the right person.

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Le temps détruit tout

"Musicians are the carriers and communicators of spirit in the most immediate sense." - Kurt Elling

Sharon

ghoastgirl - when you report back to us, remember the old rule... a thread is useless without pics.

Ustwo

MFM's are about as tricky as FMF's though easier to find a willing male by a factor of 10000.

Still guys who are open to it, worth the time of day, and understand their 'role' are still going to be very hard to find, we've never looked for a male for a mfm but I've heard enough horror stories and disappointments.

Some people are single for a reason

Couples are harder to find but as a rule will be more stable and far less of a chance of them falling in love and being a drama bomb.

__________________
Agents of the enemies who hold office in our own government, who attempt to eliminate our "freedoms" and our "right to know" are posting among us, I fear.....on this very forum. - host

Obama - Know a Man by the friends he keeps.

Ustwo

If you find the right guy then you are fine, its not you I'd be worried about having issues but 'guy falls for wife, makes it uncomfortable' isn't uncommon. I assume you have someone picked out and its still worth persuing, its not only fun but I find such things tend to make relationships better, just be careful on the drama side

__________________
Agents of the enemies who hold office in our own government, who attempt to eliminate our "freedoms" and our "right to know" are posting among us, I fear.....on this very forum. - host

Obama - Know a Man by the friends he keeps.

TH12

I haven't been there myself, but a freind told me about his experience of coming home and finding his wife in flagrante delecto with another woman. He said, "You know, you always fantasize about how erotic and exciting it would be, to watch two women together. But it just hit me in the gut, like a crushing blow." They divorced. He couldn't deal with it.

Of course, it was a surprise to him. He didn't know his wife had desires for a woman. I think, if you're honest in sharing your erotic imagination and desire to try a women experience, and don't excluse him, your man should be OK with it. But try to remember that he's going from all of you, to a large part of you. Which means he's loosing some of you, of your love and attention, and it could hurt. Unless, of course, he gets a large part of someone else in the bargain.

Racnad

Really? I haven't been there, I would guess the trickiest part would be the man wanting to repeat the experience, causing jealous discomfort of woman #1, since sex with new women tends to be exciting in ways that sex with a partner you been with for years is not.

Ustwo

From what I've seen there are two ways having 'extra' sex in a relationship will take it.

Either it makes it far stronger, loving, and just better, or it makes it a complete disaster.

So while what you described does happen, the problem happened before they had the threesome really.

__________________
Agents of the enemies who hold office in our own government, who attempt to eliminate our "freedoms" and our "right to know" are posting among us, I fear.....on this very forum. - host

Obama - Know a Man by the friends he keeps.

Plan9

Randomly:

Do people do this kinda thing at their own residence or get hotel rooms?

I think maybe the "get outta my house" factor might become involved.

Hotel rooms seem like a better idea.

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Whatever you can carry.

"You should not drink... and bake."

JStrider

We did it Friday night. It was a blast!

I was pretty nervous going into it about how I would feel once we started. But once we both started feeling and rubbing on GG I started getting into it more and really enjoyed it.

GG had a lot of fun also, she's never cum so many times in one evening!

We both really enjoyed it and will probably do it again, maybe with the same guy, maybe with others.(hopefully a girl eventually too)

and Crompsin, we did it at my apartment. But if I hadnt already known the guy pretty well we prolly woulda been more likely to have gotten a hotel or something.

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-=JStrider=-

~Clatto Verata Nicto

Sharon

Details!

abaya

Yeah, I second Sharon on that.

And how are Mandy and Healer doing, btw?

__________________
And think not you can direct the course of Love;
for Love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
--Khalil Gibran