The good ones have cuddle arrangements. I highly reccommend those.
Oh, and on topic... Mandy, nope, you're not crazy, yes, it's possible, and you are both approaching this right - figure out each other's boundaries FIRST. Be honest about how you feel on each point, and don't worry about inequities of action - i.e. if you're okay with women and he's not okay with men - this is the only case I can think of where double standards are acceptable as long as they're dealt with and known.