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Originally Posted by mandy
what would you guys do if you were in my situation?
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Having been in your situation, I can tell you what I did do.
For about 14 years I just fantasized and did nothing else. It was a powerful fantasy, for both me and ratbastid. But eventually it moved from being a fantasy to being an ache for something missing.
I'd say if you have a good relationship and very good communication with healer, give it a go! You might develop a taste for it
But both of you should be prepared for the fact that it might move from being a fantasy to being a distinct preference. For me, I couldn't live without it. I love my ratbastid and there's nothing wrong with our relationship that made me need another partner, aside from the fact that I felt unfulfilled without a female relationship as well. Acting on the fantasy might make it lose its power, and it just becomes a happy memory, a "remember when we did that?" to spice up your nights.
I think you'd be surprised how many women have those fantasies, and it doesn't necessarily mean anything at all about your sexual identity. But sometimes (like for me) it does.