cadre

Okay so abaya started a thread about how no one talks about the very kinky things they do anymore. Maybe this will provide a starting point for discussions.

The topic is this: what is the kinkiest thing you have done? or if you don't want to admit that, what is the kinkiest thing you will confess to?

Personally, I am new to the whole kinky thing. The most kinky thing I've done is probably dp via a hand and I enjoy my boyfriend scratching me (mostly on my back). I have high aspirations though and hopefully I'll get some new things under my belt pretty soon.

Well? Have at it guys and gals!

__________________
My life is one of those 'you had to be there' jokes.

Shadow_fire

Uh...slight bondage? Nothing crazy like whips and chains, not for lack of wishfulness, for lack of a willing girlfriend xD. But yeah you know, handcuffs, rope...that sorta thing...usually was only oral and stuff anyways when doing it but still, pretty kinky IMHO.

abaya

I think this is an important distinction, and I thank you for making it (and for starting this thread). I don't know if we can be as ambitious as to expect people (including myself) to confess "most" kinkiest thing done... but how about just ANY "kinky" thing (by your own judgement)?

There's no measurement of kinkiness here, folks. What have you been exploring in your own sex life, what kind of boundaries are you pushing, how are you evolving by your standards? Whatever you feel comfortable discussing (including whether or not your partner is comfortable with you bringing it up; a consideration for myself).

For me, right now I feel okay talking more about the restraints. Since we don't have bedposts, we got under-the-bed ones (they attach under the mattress). I enjoy being tied in the spread-eagle position, and having a blindfold on while my husband surprises me.

My husband also likes being tied up with the restraints (they have soft, velcro cuffs, which are easier to deal with than metal cuffs), and we have a leather-covered paddle that we smack each other with, mostly on the bare ass. I am learning to smack him in ways that he enjoys, though it's hard for me to feel okay doing it, just yet. That whole "nice girl" thing is hard to overcome, even though I am extremely aggressive in non-bedroom activities.

__________________
And think not you can direct the course of Love;
for Love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
--Khalil Gibran

Jozrael

So as I wrote in the old thread, I'm going to post about stuff I want to do in the future. Hey, it's kinky to me.

So, in the future I want to be tied down on a 4 post bed, limps totally spread. I want my SO to give me head for a long, long time. I want to be begging her to finish me, but she won't. The tease also involves hot wax, nails (the ones on the fingers :P), a really mild whip (hey, maybe by that point I'll be able to take more) and a vibrator in my ass.

I'd also like her to take a strap-on to me.

On her side, I plan on doing plenty of things with her pussy while she's tied down - rounded icicles (frozen from inside water bottles is an idea ) and anything else I can think of at the time. She's opposed to anal on her at all costs, which limits my options (;_ but I think I can be creative. Who knows, maybe she'll change her mind by then ^_^. If not, s'ok.

abaya

Jozrael: strap-ons can be really fun. For me, I wasn't willing to do anal until he tried anal (via strap on)... it turns out we both enjoy it, on occasion.

__________________
And think not you can direct the course of Love;
for Love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
--Khalil Gibran

Willravel

Spoiler: It's a toss up between blood play and ménage à trois.
Blood play: I got into this with one of my earlier girlfriends when I was 16. She was a bit of a goth and had a particular fascination with vampire legend and lore. To play in to that, I set up a few encounters where we played parts (after being tested, of course), her of vampire, me of victim. It was quite fun. Since then I've done it more than a few times. There is something visceral about blood, and it's intruduction into sensual playing can be quite invigorating.
Ménage à trois: 18ish, dating this gorgeous woman, she brought it up. Frankly, I'd never really considered getting involved in anything like that up until that point. It was, um, interesting. I've always been about pairing up, and the addition of another member, even though the idea was to be brought together in a single encounter and to not have deeper feelings involved, it didn't feel right. Sure, it was fun, but it served to weaken my relationship with my girlfriend. She offered to do it again when she realized that I had been a bit different since the encounter, but that let me know that she wasn't on the same page as me.

Jozrael

I think I'm really going to enjoy them ^_^. Then again, since coming here I've been fairly open to imaging things I wouldn't be comfortable with and seeing if I really would like it. As a kid, I mildly experimented with anal (finger here and there) but stopped cause I thought it'd turn me gay.

...xDDDDDD. Now that I'm comfortable with being bi-curious/bisexual (who the hell cares ) I'm much more open to saying that the thought of my gf going at me in the ass turns me on more than almost anything else .

EDIT: Ooers! Thanks Will for the idea with bloodplay. That's another thing that interests me, but I don't think the gf will ever spring for it . S'ok, always cool to imagine ^_^. I think I'd like biting and being bitten (well, I -know- I like those, but I mean to the point of drawing blood), but who knows, the pain might be too much for me ^_^. I think I'd like being bitten more, always have been a tad masochistic.

Shadow_fire

Spoilers eh? Blood play, something I have tried, didn't like. Inherent fear of spilling any blood since a nasty emo-ish problem I had a few years back.

abaya

I like it when ktspktsp bites me in the neck when we're doggie-style, though he hasn't done it hard enough to draw blood. It makes me feel pretty animal-like and held down, which I enjoy.

Threesomes... we talk a lot about it, and I would love to try it. But, as you say Will, I am afraid that it might not be for us, and could weaken our relationship (I am not at the point, if I ever will be, of sex being simply sex... it's always an emotional thing for me). I wonder sometimes if it's just something you either try once and like it, or try once and find out that it destroys the relationship... I guess I am not ready to make that distinction yet.

__________________
And think not you can direct the course of Love;
for Love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
--Khalil Gibran

Jozrael

I don't think I'd ever like a threesome either. The thought has occurred to me and is pretty hot in some ways, but I -know- it would weaken our relationship, and that's not for me. We're each the only one for the other, a third person would just be sex, and neither of us can or want to view sex as just sex. It's just a selfish fantasy on my part because I dearly want to give a blowjob to someone else . Ah wells, I can live without (and this is what I -want-), but it's still a nice thought .

Shadow_fire

Ah now see, a threesome would be hot if a couple Swedish lesbians walked up and were like, "Hey, you want to sleep wit us, yah?". No obligation to fulfill except not prematurely cumming in my pants at the site of them. That would be cool.

Jozrael

Well, I'm sorta majorly the relationship type, I'd never be able to have sex without commitment. Am I in the vast minority here for being like that?

abaya

Ah, but you could ask your gf to wear a strap on, and give HER a blowjob... it's not the same thing, but at least you get to experience it in some form.

__________________
And think not you can direct the course of Love;
for Love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
--Khalil Gibran

Jozrael

Well, actually, that's the plan. But I sorta wish I was giving someone pleasure...it's not really the fact that I want it in my mouth (though I do), it's that I want to be the giver of that SPECIFIC form of pleasure. I'm more of a giver than a taker, generally, though I've gotten worrrrrlds better at balancing that out, and blowjobs = the most intimate thing I can think of. I suppose eating her out is just as good, but -I- can't experience it or really imagine it, so it doesn't seem as intimate to me. Hence, why my #1 giving dream is to give a blowjob.

Shadow_fire

Its not that I'm not a relationship type of guy, its just that right now I have lost faith in most people I wouldn't mind having a relationship with. So alas, Swedish lesbians will have to do. Or Japanese lesbians.

Willravel

My little bro is on here.

cadre

Well, at the moment I am fully in a relationship and I have been for quite some time. I'm pretty sure you aren't in a vast minority but I personally have experiences sex without attachments and it is possible for me.

I like the idea of a three some but I wish I would have tried it before I met my current boyfriend because I am not willing to try it with people that I'm close to.

As far as bloodplay goes, that doesn't push my buttons. I have been scratched and bitten pretty good (sometimes drawing blood) and I enjoy that alot though.

My boyfriend told me to give up on the idea of a strap on. Hahaha, he's not comfortable with me going there yet I am working on it though.

Anyone actually have a swing? or ever used one? That sounds difficult to figure out but at the same time kinda neat.

__________________
My life is one of those 'you had to be there' jokes.

Shadow_fire

Ah, I didn't realize. I need to stop thinking most peoples siblings are either computer illiterate or eleven years old.

Gilda

It's hard to know what's considered kinky. We won't do bloodplay--I have a (distant, but still within memory) history of self injury when depressed, so anything that involves blood is out. I'm likewise squicked by any watersports or scat, so that's out.

So I'm not sure. Bondage? We do that on a regular basis, always with me on bottom. It can be what I'd call vanilla bondage, the spread eagled on the bed, blindfolded, and often gagged. Sometimes it involves minor inflictions of pain (I'm mildly masochistic) such as nipple clamps or nipple screws, use of hot sauce, heat or cold, spanking, being restrained in frustratingly uncomfortable (though not dangerous) positions for extended periods of time. The most effective positions are those that are just a little uncomfortable, but allow enough movement that it seems like I should be able to get comfortable, but can't. A karada shibari (full body rope harness) attached to a ceiling hook and tied off out of reach is deliciously frustrating. It allows free movement of the arms and hands, but restricts you to a very small area of movement, and if there isn't a chair in reach, there's no way to rest.

We also do non-bondage domination, role playing, cosplay.

I'd guess that about two thirds of what we do is vanilla cunnilingus, with the rest being variations of the more exotic stuff.

Jozrael: I know what you mean about giving a blow job. It's the only kind of sex with a man that I've ever enjoyed.

__________________
I'm against ending blackness. I believe that everyone has a right to be black, it's a choice, and I support that.

~Steven Colbert

cadre

That sounds like alot of fun.

*going to plot*

__________________
My life is one of those 'you had to be there' jokes.

Seaver

I'm pretty mild, I've always wanted to do light bondage but it never panned out with any of my girls. I want to be both the tie-er and the tie-ee.

The hottest kinky thing I've done was with my ex. I've ALWAYS loved the rain. I used to live in the desert where it only rained once or twice in an entire year. So when thunderstorms hit I have to go outside and just enjoy them. My ex knew this, and had an upstairs balcony with a roof over it. So it was late at night, and we were fooling around (naked at this point), when the first thunder of a stormfront hit. She looked me in the eyes, and I grabbed her hand and walked her out to the balcony. It was a hot humid Texas night when the front hit, with a cool breeze (but not cold) from the front and beautiful lightning everywhere. Here's the kinky part, it overlooks a cauldisack (sp?) and any of our neighbors could have easily seen us. We started in the lotus position (sitting up, her legs around my waist), and as the storm grew in intensity so did we. By the end of it the rain was pouring and I had her bent over the railing where anyone driving by would have noticed. I don't think anyone did, but I'm pretty sure her neighbors would have heard our noises.

__________________
"Smite the rocks with the rod of knowledge, and fountains of unstinted wealth will gush forth." - Ashbel Smith as he laid the first cornerstone of the University of Texas

ShaniFaye

Isnt kinky kind of relevant? I mean whats "kinky" to someone might be perfectly normal to Dave and I right?

I mean, we do blood play, bondage-including whips, floggers chains, restraints, knives etc, we have friends we also so that with. Dave loves for me to fuck him with our strap on, he likes to watch me with other women, we have MMFs...

to us thats our normal sex life...if thats kinky to "you" then there is a partial listing of our kinks lol

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I want the diabetic plan that comes with rollover carbs. I dont like the unused one expiring at midnite!!

Carno

Sometimes I like to have sex with the lights on.

abaya

Shani, you were the inspiration for a lot of ktspktsp's and my initial exploration, couple years back when I first joined... you helped us feel really okay around here. And I seriously remember thinking, "DAMN, this place is kinky... I have a lot to learn!" I remember you posted a picture of your coffin-shaped "toy box" and it was awe-inspiring. We got our own small box and started collecting... now we need a bigger one! Just wanted to express my gratitude to you.

__________________
And think not you can direct the course of Love;
for Love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
--Khalil Gibran

randygurl

I would have to say that my horizons are constantly being broadened. What was once extrememly kinky to me is now part of the norm. I have been dp'd with a dildo, tied up and teased, "raped", used a butt plug on my man and myself, had threesomes, etc. However, the list of things I want to try is still quite long! *grin*

Daniel_

Here is the core of the issue (thanks Shanni).

What you do regularly is "Normal", and what you don't do is "Kinky".

Things that form a part of normal foreplay, or even just passing teasing with my wife have been totally off limits as "way too kinky" with earlier GFs.

When I was a teen, vaginal intercourse was "Normal" - and doggy was "Kinky".

Ten years later and oral sex was normal, but anal was kinky

Now anal is normal, but bondage is kinky (by which I mean "in general society as I perceive it" rather than "in my life and relationships" )

As teenage girls seem to be much more prepared to give guys BJs these days, I'm wondering how long it will be before they'll suck a cock at the drop of a hat, but if asked to masturbate it will go wild about how odd their guy is.

__________________

╔═════════════════════════════════════════╗
Overhead, the Albatross hangs motionless upon the air,
And deep beneath the rolling waves,
In labyrinths of Coral Caves,
The Echo of a distant time
Comes willowing across the sand;
And everthing is Green and Submarine
╚═════════════════════════════════════════╝

ShaniFaye

lol Im very glad I could help:

Dave is in the process of designing me a flogger/toy board so we dont have to dig thru the coffin anymore....he just cant decide if he wants to make a bigger coffin with eye hooks to hang everything, or a flat board that attaches to the wall in the basement hehehehe

__________________
I want the diabetic plan that comes with rollover carbs. I dont like the unused one expiring at midnite!!

abaya

I don't know, I think what I do "regularly" is have the ol' in-and-out, penis-in-vagina sex... that's the "standard" that most people mean when they talk about "sex," right? But, like Gilda, for me that takes place a majority of the time... but not *all* the time.

So for me, "kinky" is not something I don't do... it just means anything beyond what I described above, and it takes place a small fraction of the time that we have sex. But I classify it as kinky because it's stuff that I believe a significant number of people might feel "squicky" about, as Gilda said... and that's valid.

Now, as for the things that I absolutely will not do... I would plagiarize Dan Savage here and call those "a fetish too far." And maybe that's what people talk about here, when they describe what would be too extreme for them... whatever their own limits are. I don't think "a fetish too far" really changes for most people, though. "Kinks" evolve, but absolute lines don't change.

Thoughts?

Wow, that's awesome. So you mean, like a tool board in the garage... the kind my (carpenter) dad had for hanging up his hammer, straight edge, and all the rest? Definitely sounds more organized than our current system of a heap of silicone shapes overflowing from a box...

Btw, how would you keep that a secret from your daughter (is she allowed in the basement)?

__________________
And think not you can direct the course of Love;
for Love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
--Khalil Gibran

Daniel_

Sorry - I left out a "regularly" in the "kinky is what you don't do".

Shanni needs to get dave to paint the outlines on the board, so he knows where to put everything back. Get the pre-drilled pegboard that they use in tool shops, and wire hooks!

__________________

╔═════════════════════════════════════════╗
Overhead, the Albatross hangs motionless upon the air,
And deep beneath the rolling waves,
In labyrinths of Coral Caves,
The Echo of a distant time
Comes willowing across the sand;
And everthing is Green and Submarine
╚═════════════════════════════════════════╝

ShaniFaye

Nope I dont keep things secret from her, while I wouldnt leave virbrators and dildos out and about, she is very familiar with my floggers and paddles and knows Mama likes to be "spanked"

actually it would be a little more fancy than a tool board lol Im talking poplar wood stained a red mahagony (sp?) and varnished to a shine hehehehe

__________________
I want the diabetic plan that comes with rollover carbs. I dont like the unused one expiring at midnite!!

abaya

Alright, I can get behind that... or, get someone behind me on that... anyway.

Given the context, that actually sounds... sexy.

Wow, that's cool. I'd love to hear how the whole birds & bees talk came up with her, sometime!

__________________
And think not you can direct the course of Love;
for Love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
--Khalil Gibran

mixedmedia

I agree with ShaniFaye that what is kinky is completely relative to the observer. Personally, I don't think I am very kinky, but others, like my mother for instance, think that what I like is very kinky. And she doesn't even know everything...so, eh.

My current relationship definitely has overtones of D/s but we are very informal with it. Neither of us are particularly moved by rituals or role-playing...well, maybe the role-playing a little. We don't use the terms Master and sub very often, occasionally he'll call me his sub. I like it, but usually he calls me kitty or pusskins...unless things get intense and he calls me much more colorful things. I like to be controlled and dominated during sex. It's something that I've struggled with and tried to ignore for most of my life, but have now decided to accept and enjoy.

We have played around with different restraints..a collar, cuffs and spreader bars. (Note: avoid velcro cuffs if you also have a stocking fetish...splurge on the leather ) He has a flogger which I like and a riding crop which I love. He's also been known to spank me with a spatula, lol. Basically, he likes to bind and blindfold me and then just do whatever strikes his fancy. Which most often includes the use of butt plugs (and any other toy he might have picked up in the interim between our get togethers) and the general abuse of my body to his heart's content. Accompanied by filthy, dirty comments about my body and sexual character. As odd as it may sound, I find all of this very relaxing and pleasant and afterwards I am walking on air. If this is kinky then I am kinky. But I know that to some what we do is very vanilla. It's all in the perception.

All of our sex is not like this, though. We do have normal sex, be it rough or gentle, every position imaginable. We love anal sex, something neither of us had done much previously but enjoy immensely together. Oral sex, of course. I particularly enjoy being grabbed by the hair and "forced" which he loves, too.

We've talked about bringing another woman into the picture, but so far it's just been fantasy like talk. That's another thing, since we are so far apart most of the time, we do a lot of fantasy exchange over the internet. Not so much cybersex because there's always at least one kid in my house at all times and I just can't get comfortable with that. We're not a "locked door" kind of house. But the exchanging of fantasies is how we embarked on the road that we're on. He wanted to know what turned me on and when I opened up and told him about my submissive fantasies, he was very eager to learn more about it and go there with me. So I sent him my Gloria Brame books, Different Loving and Come Hither and it's been snowballing ever since. Every time we get together the D/s scenarios get a little more intense. We've also talked about doing a 24/7 Master/slave scenario on one of my longer visits to his home.

I don't know. I think our kink is an evolving thing. I'll be sure to keep ya'll posted.

__________________
Most people go through life dreading they'll have a traumatic experience. Freaks were born with their trauma. They've already passed their test in life. They're aristocrats. - Diane Arbus
PESSIMISM, n. A philosophy forced upon the convictions of the observer by the disheartening prevalence of the optimist with his scarecrow hope and his unsightly smile. - Ambrose Bierce

abaya

I take it you don't mean that in the kinky sense? hehe.

I like the spatula idea, to be honest. I find it difficult to really get turned on by black leather, etc... but the idea of using household tools sounds like a lot of fun. We'll have to see...

__________________
And think not you can direct the course of Love;
for Love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
--Khalil Gibran

The_Jazz

I ask this half in jest, but only halfway. If you've seen the movie "Bachelor Party", Tom Hanks spends an inordinate amount of time chasing his fiancee around with a hand-cranked eggbeater. I've always wondered what the hell that was for? Maybe it's just underlining my lack of sexual imagination, but all I can think of involves painful pinching and tearing of skin. Is that just the joke or did I miss something somewhere?

Also, I was once at a bachelor party where the bachelor used a dildo attached to a reciprocating saw on a stripper/hooker and later one attached to a cordless drill on her coworker. While there's questionable sexual pleasure involved in that particular occassion, I know there's an apparently thriving genre of machine porn out there.

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"They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety." - B. Franklin
"There ought to be limits to freedom." - George W. Bush
"We have met the enemy and he is us." - Pogo

streak_56

My personal favourite is slight bondage, both being dominant and slave. Depends on what is being done and if it's being done by the right person. Another personal favourite of mine (when my chest is shaved) is wax. I love it. I've tried the blood thing too, it was interesting to say the least and it definately was with the right girl, really good time there.

Definately not a ton of posters here, seems like some people are a little scared to post their most intimate secrets.

cadre

I agree with all of you that kinky is a relative term. I'm not trying to deny that but I think that people should feel free to share what is kinky to them. I don't think that there are really any restrictions on a thread like this and I realize that the question that I posed wasn't really the right one but you guys got the idea!

I'm getting some good ideas from this thread. Dominant/submissive games are awesome, and I am looking at some more toys for use in that type of thing. \o/

__________________
My life is one of those 'you had to be there' jokes.

mixedmedia

LOL, no. That idea doesn't do much for me, and luckily, I don't think he'd enjoy it either.

I know what you mean. I'm not particularly turned on by leather. Well, I take that back a little, the smell is a big turn-on. But leather as a sort of BDSM symbolic thing, doesn't move me. And yes, the spatula thing is a lot of fun. Just use the kind with holes so that you get that great swishy sound. Plus it leaves red imprints of them on your cheeks afterwards.

There is a book and I can't think of the name of it right now, that has a lot of ideas for using common household items for BDSM play. Maybe someone else here knows it?

__________________
Most people go through life dreading they'll have a traumatic experience. Freaks were born with their trauma. They've already passed their test in life. They're aristocrats. - Diane Arbus
PESSIMISM, n. A philosophy forced upon the convictions of the observer by the disheartening prevalence of the optimist with his scarecrow hope and his unsightly smile. - Ambrose Bierce

abaya

How do you do the wax thing? Is it not hot enough to burn you, or is there some special method? Is it a sensation thing, or just plain pain?

I must admit, though there aren't a ton of posts here (yet!), I'm enjoying each contribution. This is the TFP I know and love... and it's really cool to hear about people's preferences. Thank you for sharing, all.

And I don't know if it was ShaniFaye's comment or something else from being the daughter of a carpenter... but I'm starting to think that having a bona-fide carpenter's tool belt, loaded with various accoutrements of play, could be my next thing. I find the idea very sexy; will have to check with the hubby.

__________________
And think not you can direct the course of Love;
for Love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
--Khalil Gibran

Seaver

Don't use scented candles for it. The wax burns at a higher temperature, which means it's a lot hotter than it otherwise would be and it makes a difference. I'm not a fan of it, but to each his/her own.

__________________
"Smite the rocks with the rod of knowledge, and fountains of unstinted wealth will gush forth." - Ashbel Smith as he laid the first cornerstone of the University of Texas

mixedmedia

I've heard that, too. I've never done the wax thing, either, but it definitely sounds hot. *groan*

__________________
Most people go through life dreading they'll have a traumatic experience. Freaks were born with their trauma. They've already passed their test in life. They're aristocrats. - Diane Arbus
PESSIMISM, n. A philosophy forced upon the convictions of the observer by the disheartening prevalence of the optimist with his scarecrow hope and his unsightly smile. - Ambrose Bierce