I agree with ShaniFaye that what is kinky is completely relative to the observer. Personally, I don't think I am very kinky, but others, like my mother for instance, think that what I like is very kinky. And she doesn't even know everything...so, eh.
My current relationship definitely has overtones of D/s but we are very informal with it. Neither of us are particularly moved by rituals or role-playing...well, maybe the role-playing a little. We don't use the terms Master and sub very often, occasionally he'll call me his sub. I like it, but usually he calls me kitty or pusskins...unless things get intense and he calls me much more colorful things.
I like to be controlled and dominated during sex. It's something that I've struggled with and tried to ignore for most of my life, but have now decided to accept and enjoy.
We have played around with different restraints..a collar, cuffs and spreader bars. (Note: avoid velcro cuffs if you also have a stocking fetish...splurge on the leather
) He has a flogger which I like and a riding crop which I love. He's also been known to spank me with a spatula, lol. Basically, he likes to bind and blindfold me and then just do whatever strikes his fancy. Which most often includes the use of butt plugs (and any other toy he might have picked up in the interim between our get togethers) and the general abuse of my body to his heart's content. Accompanied by filthy, dirty comments about my body and sexual character. As odd as it may sound, I find all of this very relaxing and pleasant and afterwards I am walking on air. If this is kinky then I am kinky. But I know that to some what we do is very vanilla. It's all in the perception.
All of our sex is not like this, though. We do have normal sex, be it rough or gentle, every position imaginable. We love anal sex, something neither of us had done much previously but enjoy immensely together. Oral sex, of course. I particularly enjoy being grabbed by the hair and "forced" which he loves, too.
We've talked about bringing another woman into the picture, but so far it's just been fantasy like talk. That's another thing, since we are so far apart most of the time, we do a lot of fantasy exchange over the internet. Not so much cybersex because there's always at least one kid in my house at all times and I just can't get comfortable with that. We're not a "locked door" kind of house. But the exchanging of fantasies is how we embarked on the road that we're on. He wanted to know what turned me on and when I opened up and told him about my submissive fantasies, he was very eager to learn more about it and go there with me. So I sent him my Gloria Brame books,
Different Loving and
Come Hither and it's been snowballing ever since. Every time we get together the D/s scenarios get a little more intense. We've also talked about doing a 24/7 Master/slave scenario on one of my longer visits to his home.
I don't know. I think our kink is an evolving thing. I'll be sure to keep ya'll posted.
